LOL... You know your body better then I do mine... Cause I have NO clue if my nursing schedule changes due to ovulation or anything... I know when I am ovulating under normal circumstances because my sex drive goes into overdrive.... But after a baby I can't ever be 100% lol... My body goes into funky drive.... I still have my period but I don't know if I ovulate before it or after it half the time... and well... my sex drive comes and goes.... Mostly because I am more tired or drained then usual etc...

I'm having hormonal changes... I mean I know why... But they are never fun... lol

I know my body pretty damn well. haha. I get my hormone changes...and I laugh when I see the same random fluxes in my mom and her attitude. And since we shared a bathroom growing up, I also know that those mood fluxes were a result of her period. I guess it's genetic. haha
I never spotted with pregnancies.
And if you spotted Chi, that very well could have been a period. While breastfeeding things are crazy funky.

The hormones you take with birth control I believe stop the egg from maturing to the point where it could be used in conception. It needs to "ripen" to a certain stage before the sperm can enter and the birth control prevents that from happening. But those same hormones will also cease your milk production if you take too much. At least, that's how my OB explained it to me after Kura was born. So I got on the one hormone birth control pill...which causes you to drop your lining...EVERY FUCKING DAY. Yeah, I wasn't too happy about that. So while breast feeding her we just used condoms.

Oh! Chi- also it's easier to get pregnant the second time. Your body knows what's going on now. My aunt had tried for 8+ years to get pregnant with no luck. Finally they did a couple cycles of IVF and it worked. A year after her first son was born she miraculously got pregnant with number two. Totally unexpected, they'd figured that they just couldn't get pregnant naturally...turns out they can. Her body just needed some help getting there the first time, but remembered the way. I hear that same sort of story a lot in the surro world. (Intended parents aren't allowed to have sex for 3 weeks after the transfer, to keep the intended mother from being pregnant at the same time as the surro, just as the surro can't have sex for 3 weeks so that it's known that the baby she is pregnant with is the intended parents not hers) Some people just need the pressure taken off before their body takes off. The body is a mysterious thing, Personally I believe a lot of these blocks are mental. You've broken that mental block, now anything is possible. You could have triplets. ...I had twins. lol.

Well, we'll see today. I'll ask for a blood test when I go to the doctor's for something else. :3

Nope, not preggers!

well that is semi good news then since unplanned makes things difficult I suppose... LOL... Just funky breastfeeding juju

I think my body is trying to start cycles up again and it just won't. D: It's at least a relief knowing, one way or another. I would have been plenty happy, but I think I'd like to be out of school. I can balance things now, but I'd have to give it up with two I reckon. :lol:

I gave up on the idea of a Bachelors atm... I can't concentrate long enough to do much of anything... Half the time I start a post and finish it over the course of like 10 minutes... Can you imagine writing a paper so haphazardly... I am ok with not having a BA or BS atm but I am worried Dillon has given up on his AA... :( Every time I mention it he gets upset... Even if I am mentioning it in a "you should try to finish hun your so close" type of way.... :/ He's in a bad way with financial aide at the moment and we are in a worse way financially here... So he only has a small number of options... :/ until he can pay for a semester on his own.

Scott hasn't even contacted our high school for his transcript so he can apply for college. I've been bugging him to do that since I finished my Associates. :/
I'm considering starting on my Bachelors soon. >.> I'd love to get that done before leaving Kodiak, but I don't really see that happening since the most I'll be able to do is take online courses at Fairbanks and whatever classes they do satellite versions of at the local community college. Kodiak...it's not exactly a place you go for education...lol.
I had no problem doing college stuff when it was just me and Kura (er and Scott too I guess) but after I moved up to Nor Cal with him it became immensely harder. Babysitters became necessary since I had no family or friends up there...and I have a very hard time trusting people with my babies. They're my babies damn it! And once I finally started making friends up there I became pregnant with the twins. And much like you Chi, I wanted to give the same attention to this one that I gave the first one. There were just other plans at work that I didn't know about...ya know like it being twins. lulz. I think I still did pretty darn well though. >.> But college classes on top of that would have killed me from exhaustion. I'm sure of it. I'd wait until I was done with school before going for another. Unless ya know it wasn't one for you. haha. I can totally be pregnant now whenever I want! ...I'm guessing bosses won't be too happy about it though but ehhh to them. What do they matter anyway?

Ellie will actually be the first baby that I am NOT taking college classes with... She will actually get my full attention for at least half of the day while her brothers are in school... It is actually quite a new concept to me... That is of course if I decide not to go to work. Which I am leaning.... er.... jumping... to the "I-Don't-Wanna" side now.... Though we could still REALLY use the money...

Dillon is only a few gen-ed classes from his AA... But the last time he tried going to school he was financial aide probation (because he wasn't applying himself to classes) and he took some of the harder Gen eds that aren't required for his degree and he struggled...Terribly College Algebra and Composition 1 aren't the easiest to do after gosh he'd been out of high school 5-6 years as of last fall when he too them.

I have my AS well... An AAGS (Associate of Applied General Sciences) I was one of the last people to get that specific degree in my field... I feel guilty that I finished but I also don't easily take no for an answer... >.>; I also know if I start to struggle I need to find a way to get back on track... Though I am now on a financial aide suspension as well... :/ They didn't even really give me a chance they told me even though I was still struggling with stabilizing my thyroid which was causing all kinds of not so fun things to happen. That I should not have dropped my classes from the previous Semester.... >.>;; riiiiight... Cause failing is better... :/ I think we will eventually both figure things out... Dillon needs to soon because he is downright depressed when it comes to schooling... Even though MOST people doing what he wants to do don't have a lot of formal schooling at ALL!

I've been itching to get back to work as well, but I don't want to mess up breastfeeding. I know she's 11 months and doesn't "need" it as much (nutritionally) but she still nurses a lot. At least 4 good feedings and a handful of additional comfort nurses. I figure it will taper off. She's already dropped a couple nursing sessions, so it will come in time.

I just need to hang on for 1 more year, and then I think my internship will be paid. Far as I know, the training portion comes next Fall and then I'll have 900+ hours of paid interning. I'm so tired of schooling, but where I'm only a year out from interning, it would be dumb to quit now.

If Terra self-weans before then, I'll go back to work before. Montessori takes children at 18 months (here, at least) and doesn't require them to be potty trained. Maybe in half a year working will seem more feasible.

I find myself looking forward to working. And being intrigued when I see help wanted signs around town. >.> But then I should only be here a little while longer so a job is still stupid right now. >.< Whatev's.

Chi- OMG is she 11 months already? D: Where has the time gone? That means Owen is 10 months... D: D: D: So not possible! lol.

Jaz- People in Scotts dream career generally don't have a formal education for it either, but I'm going to make him get one anyway. He needs to learn tricks of the trade etc. It will look better on applications and show that he's committed to his desired job. And I'm trying to convince him to take up the pianist job next year at the church on base, as that will also look good on an application and get him real world experience and a little extra cash. And most importantly practice sight reading!

The year has flown by, for sure. She'll be a year on the 1st. Even knowing how quickly it goes by, it's still flying!

I look forward to going to work for the money... And the conversations above a 4th grade level... but I don't look forward to a lot of things that I had to deal with at jobs in this town at ALL! Dealing with them through Dillon is MORE then enough...

I've been giving a strong consideration to working with children, but we'll see. I want to work with multiple groups, but it would probably good for me to find a niche as well.

What is your major again Chi?

I have an associates in Early Childhood Education... Even in that degree I found a niche I like and I seem to struggle with the other ages... Sean is currently in the age range I like... He is at the stage where he wants to please people and lying isn't as common but he isn't sooo young that he needs me to do everything for him... I love the ages between about 2 and 4ish... Some 4 year olds get to me quickly though depends on their ability to grasp certain concepts... Michael was a PRO at lying to me by four == he was a little too smart for his own good!

I'm in a rehabilitative counseling program, but I'm taking additional classes so I can work in other populations, too. I could be a school counselor, or a substance abuse counselor, or a rehab counselor... could do a bunch of things. I just don't know what I want yet.

I'd imagine it would be hard to work with any ages in that category at least for me it would be..

It'll be a challenge, definitely. The main reason I'm getting the additional certification is because I want to dodge burnout. I would like to deal with people coming of their own accord, like someone needing grief counseling over losing a loved one. Or someone in a general rut. I think I'd burnout of heartbreak working only in the rehab field. I also know I'd be too frustrated to only work in the substance abuse field. :s

I'd have too much heartbreak working in any of them. I'm far too empathetic. My heart it out there on my sleeve most days. I cry at disney movies because my emotions just aren't under control like they are for most people. >.> If you tell me a sob story (or if I see you crying...) it generally makes me cry. It's pretty...pathetic. I was thrilled when Scott didn't make fun of me for it because seriously? Who cries at the ending scene of Meet the Robinsons, or shoot I can't think of anything else right now but long story short I'm stupidly empathetic.

Thus: I like animals other than people. While they do still have emotions they're slightly easier to detach myself from and thus easier for me to work with. I couldn't do work with people, young or old. It's just... too much.

I'm not quite that empathetic but I don't like working with people who would come back to me with the same problem over and over (like a substance abuse councilor).... I'd get angry when I couldn't help someone they way they deserved as well... It was hard enough working with the kids in the daycares.... Seeing that some of them were obviously neglected... And that the social workers said we didn't have enough proof to file for them. It is terribly heartbreaking. And wrong on many levels...

Yeah...I just couldn't do it!

Oh wow tomorrow Ellie will be 25 weeks this pregnancy has already gone by so VERY fast... 3 weeks until my third trimester O_o almost everything is ready for her except her clothe diapers but whenever we have money the colors and brands I want are sold out and well.... we haven't have money for the last 2ish months... And we might be tight next month too just not as bad as this month.... I'd also like to get her some more fall clothes though... Cause all the babies I know were born in Summer...

I think it is good that there are people like Chi out there though... Cause if there weren't we'd all be a mess I think :P

I get moved to tears when I see others cry, too. It was a concern I had going into my studies, as I felt weak from it. Turns out I guess a lot of therapists are moved to tears by their clients. I'm not sure how I feel about that, but it's normalized I guess. :lol:

They require you (at least when working under someone else or an agency) to have supervisor meetings where you can vent and unleash emotions that you can't in session due to ethics. Hopefully I have a great go-to person and enough outlets at home and in between to make it work. My backup plan is to teach if this all goes to hell. I hope not, though!

I'm happy to know I'm not alone. I always thought therapists had special training to turn into emotionless crazy people while in sessions.
Jaz link me to the patterns/brands you want. No linking to "oh anything on this" just give me the ones you want and the sizes you want of them. If any are available on Amazon/Ebay let me know that too since I've got money in my paypal and amazon accounts that's just sitting there. (:

Urm... I will look around on Amazon/ebay... Right now the store I NORMALLY use is out of stock on like everything since it is baby season... I'll do my best to be specific lol...

My psych teacher in college was a therapist... He was interesting... Dr. Brown... He was entertaining to listen to he talked about burn outs in his field (by day he way the therapist at one of the local hospitals for both suicide risks and addictions....) He also talked about going to marriage Counciling with his ex wife and stuff he fun to listen too though....