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Jaz
Death warmed over
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11-21-2013, 02:42 PM
What is strange is we were raised being told homosexuality is normal. That men and women are born with their sexual preferences and that they should be respected like any other person. She had a lot of gay and lesbian friends at work, a couple became close friends of mine for a time because we had similar interests. I met one gay in high school who was openly gay and when she met him she deemed him gross and attention seeking. We still stay in semi contact and he has settled down a lot. He had a LOT happen to him in his lifetime. He is the product of a drug addicted mother, adoption, not only losing his adoptive father (who he was incredibly close to) but being the one to find him in a very disturbing way for him, coming out in early high school he was trying desperately to find his way in a very messed up world.... But she deemed him gross and attention seeking and said he wasn't "really gay" he was doing it for the attention. He was the only openly gay person I knew of at school. And he dealt with so much crap and still somehow had a smile on his face.
She is not tolerant of anything but what she deems normal what she deems acceptable. And that changes so frequently, when I was in middle school I expressed first opinions on abortion. I was against it whole heartedly, naively believing there are so many ways to prevent and that they all work all the time. My mom mentioned that women don't protect themselves against rape and incest and I realized some of the flaw in my beliefs. She held that she was pro choice though my whole high school and much of my early 20s even going as far as to say she had had an abortion before I was born. Then all the sudden these last few years she tall as and posts about how planned parenthood is the devil and the presidents endorsement of it proves he's evil etc etc. I think it is because my step father is against it. I find the change in self so strange I've had boyfriends all over the place in political and religious beliefs compared to me. And while I can understand a change of heart when presented with evidence or ideas it seemed sudden for someone based in a very firm state of mind on the opposite.
I watch her with the kids and wonder how we survived at all in tact. She had to educate herself some, I remember the books she bought to try to answer her questions. She HAD to have at least a somewhat different view of raising children back then. We always talked/joked about my youngest brother and my sister being a homosexual but none of my siblings are truly. But she always told us to be ourselves she'd love us no matter what. Now it seems conditional, as long as you don't do drugs, are dating someone she likes, raise your children how SHE believes is fitting. It is so weird to compare her and my mother in law. My mother in law is so accepting of everything. And it doesn't seem conditional she just truly loves her kids/ their families with no questions.
Lots of babble there tl;dr my mom is crazy and pretty much always has been, it's just getting worse it seems.
Yay for paid time off to rest! I am trying desperately to be ok today to let Dillon go to work, it's just getting harder it seems like I hate his job so much. I have Jayden either way so it's not worth the time he'd be here anyway cause I'd be working...
I hope Terra settles down :(
---------- Post added 11-21-2013 at 08:24 AM ----------
Fun stuff fun stuff I am still apparently suffering stomach troubles :( so lame.
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Chi
Dancing to her own beat..
Penpal
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11-21-2013, 03:27 PM
I get tomorrow off too. I'm so friggin' stoked. Seriously. I think Cole may be able to take her to daycare and pick her up, too. A truly full day off. I won't know what to do with myself.
Your mom does seem... inconsistent, and a scary influence. :(
I hope your day goes smoothly!
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Jaz
Death warmed over
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11-21-2013, 03:39 PM
Oh very very nice! A true day off :) rest and healing is super important <3 but never easy with kiddos so it should be nice to have a little without Terra time to focus on yourself right?
Dillon took the girls to the store to get me some Gatorade. I'm on the BRATT diet today, I'd say Ellie is too but she's already eaten cold cereal. But I've already had coffee too so yeah... I need to up my water intake and a little Gatorade to help with electrolyte loss. Not my idea of great food and drink for a day but a must. Liam seems no worse for wear, he is kicking and rolling up a storm in there. At least my stomach isn't hurting today and I'm not feeling queasy. But I haven't eaten much since lunch yesterday, and that was a pitiful meal to say the least too. I am going to vacuum off the couch really good and the floor just beneath it and have Dillon haul the laundry all downstairs. That way I can sit but still be semi productive for the day.
I hate when my body is indicating that I am sick but I don't "feel" sick it makes resting hard.
Is terra settling down now?
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Chi
Dancing to her own beat..
Penpal
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11-21-2013, 03:53 PM
Feel better. :<
She's doing anything she can to not listen. I need to go take another shower as she agitated one of the guinea pigs while I was holding her, so she peed all over me. Face and glasses included. Not impressed. Sigh... of to get clean.
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Jaz
Death warmed over
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11-21-2013, 04:03 PM
Eww piggy pee enjoy your shower! I think it's time for me to get something together to do other then just play on this darn kindle all day... I also need to eat... talk to you in a bit :)
Last edited by Jaz; 11-21-2013 at 04:34 PM..
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Chi
Dancing to her own beat..
Penpal
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11-21-2013, 04:50 PM
How's it going thus far?
I haven't gotten much accomplished. Gonna try to get my cover letter done. My resume is updated (again) with a new reference and my CRC ID, since my certificate officially came in the mail today!
---------- Post added 11-21-2013 at 01:05 PM ----------
I have one of my job applications done, but I need to hear back from my internship supervisor before I can mail it off. She really should be the reference on there. She's double checking if she can do it. If I don't hear back from her by the time the work day is done, I'll put another reference on there and mail it off instead. I want it submitted ASAP.
Time to get crackin' on the rest of my stuff... but... lunch first. I'm going to make a huge pile of protein and see how I feel afterwards.
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Jaz
Death warmed over
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11-21-2013, 06:26 PM
We pulled all the laundry downstairs and I am almost done with the vast majority of it... I decided against folding on the couch as it looks dirty darn kids and their feet all the time... So I am folding straight onto the dining table which needed a desperate wipe down as my kids all seem to eat like toddlers! But the table and chairs were easy enough to clean and I used a little vinegar to sanitize a little better too! :) I need to pull down the next load of laundry here soon so I can keep the wash flow moving but I am really hungry which seems to be keeping my energy flow on low. I am anxious for Jayden to head out. Her dad is suppose to be here anytime now to pick he up.
I really need to write out a proper resume. I hate writing them sooo much....
Ellie has been mostly restful she keeps cuddling under the blanket I pulled out this morning. She seems to still be having tummy trouble too :(
Ugh I am so hungry I really want pan fried potatoes and onions :( brat diet is lame
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Chi
Dancing to her own beat..
Penpal
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11-21-2013, 06:35 PM
My nephew's school is on lock down due to someone wandering around campus with a gun. All the kids are safe, but holy crap. He's in the Lakeland, FL area. I'm nauseated.
I don't like writing resumes either. I imagine mine sucks. >>;; I hope it's passable though.
Now I want pan fried potatoes and onions, darn it. That does sound tasty. I did go ahead and make a hamburger patty with some eggs. I do feel better for it.
Cole and I are still trying to figure out what to do about the chest freezer. We don't seem to be hitting any type of resolution... I want storage here, but I apparently don't want to give up what little space we have. Pretty soon the guinea pigs are going to need something bigger, too. I've been trying to think of ways to make the kitchen work better, but I don't see anything. I wish we had a fold-able table or something.
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Jaz
Death warmed over
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11-21-2013, 07:08 PM
Ugh I feel you on storage our kitchen is tiny and our living room is also our dining room... we'll be figuring out what to do with our living room soon to accommodate a huge tree... if we have extra money come after Christmas I want to buy a second tree with less girth for downstairs and then I can put the big tree in the doorway upstairs cause it sounds pretty to do so....
But first thanksgiving must happen.
I am still really hungry I pulled out banana and Ellie took it :( then we split a can of Apple sauce... I really don't like rice. But I think if I am going to have ANY energy I need to have more in my system.
My kindle is dying :( so no more book for me for an hour or two... probably be away from mene for that time too. :(
I hope your nephew is safe I swear people are going crazy in this country!
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Chi
Dancing to her own beat..
Penpal
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11-21-2013, 07:13 PM
It should be okay. Police have cleared the area, but they'll be on the campus for the rest of the week just in case. :/ I'm assuming my sister will be there to pick him up so that he doesn't walk home. I'd be sweating bullets. Talk about feeling helpless, being unable to do anything when your kid is in lock down.
Thanksgiving is creeping up. I need to shop Monday in an attempt to avoid the big crowd. I don't think I dare do it this weekend. O_o Seems safer to do it really early or really late on Monday.
I'm feeling rotten again. I don't feel the need to sleep, but I just feel outside of my body. ><;
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Jaz
Death warmed over
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11-21-2013, 07:42 PM
Ellie asked for some more apple sauce so together we've eaten a can each now. I have come to the conclusion I don't like apple sauce. At least not canned in a can apple sauce it tastes really.... Sharp... But Ellie is eating well so that is good. She is on pair of pants #3 or 4 now O_O her diapers are just not holding in her wetness and I don't SEE any visible damage to the ones that are left... There was a sale on them yesterday and I'm sad I didn't snatch up a few. They are retiring some colors and they were clearancing out the retired colors.
I am still really hungry but I have NO motivation to make rice. So I think I'll do toast instead. I am going to add peanut butter to give it some protien I need more then what I'm eating. /whines
The boys schools have been put on lock down quite a few times in the years. It is overwhelming to be stuck and able to do nothing for them. I always pick them up early if their school goes on lock down. I can't stand not having them near when those things happen.
I took a hide away on the computer really quick lol. While Ellie is still eating.
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Chi
Dancing to her own beat..
Penpal
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11-21-2013, 07:46 PM
Definitely eat. D: I think I need to get something with more carbs... still really dizzy. I did make all the phone calls I needed to, and I'm finishing up Terra's Christmas stuff. After looking at what family bought her, I think we'll get her gluten-free play-doh because she's begged and begged for it for months now. I found some on a discount school supply shop. It's expensive of course, but meh. I'm going to try to be more hands-on with her in terms of activities.
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Jaz
Death warmed over
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11-21-2013, 09:36 PM
Did you see the post I made on how to make gluten free play dough?
Ellie has been awful about stealing my food today so I made garlic cheddar toast after she went down to nap and now I feel better finally! I am going to make some tea soon it is really chilly today. I am totally weirding myself put with this show... Sister wives... it's strange because I was raised LDS Mormon (they are fundamentalist Mormon) and I am just almost intrigued by the idea of having more then one wife I can oddly enough see the appeal.... But at the same time it well it is just so different then what I am use to. We were taught it is wrong to take on more then one wife and that the reason our religion did it in the past was to help women who lost their husbands to war. I don't know I am so odd I swear. I can't stand certain things (like Jon and Kate plus 8) butt I love big families I can watch things like this or 19 kids and counting all day...
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Chi
Dancing to her own beat..
Penpal
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11-21-2013, 09:42 PM
Yep, I did. But because of our overall allergies, even typical food coloring is out. By the time I'd buy the flour mix, and the natural based dyes, it would be comparable in cost. x.<
Bahaha... Terra would have stolen anything with garlic. She loves it, little weenie.
Oooh... I've never watched any of it. It sounds interesting. :o
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Jaz
Death warmed over
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11-21-2013, 10:10 PM
I saw another play dough recipe where they used food to dye the dough. I wonder if something like that? It was like turnips and we I can't remember what else.
Ellie was stealing everything, my banana, Apple sauce, toast and peanut butter. I only got a few bites of the banana and toast. She's so naughty. I had to wait to get food in me until she was napping
It is almost time to get the boys so I have to stop watching. I went into watching with a scoff in the back of my mind thinking "this guy is a cocky jerk" but it is interesting to see how it is played out. Dillon is scared enough by me, he'd never take another wife. I honestly don't think he can see past me most days (wow that sounds arrogant of me lol) but he over looks women who make advances towards him. He flat doesn't see them it's wierd. I am also the jealous type I don't know that I'd be "ok" sharing either
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Chi
Dancing to her own beat..
Penpal
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11-21-2013, 10:15 PM
I have a hard enough time juggling the needs of Cole and Terra... I don't think I could take on more. @ [email protected]
I need to force myself to pack up those eBay packages... meh. My shoulder's killing me for some reason.
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Jaz
Death warmed over
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11-21-2013, 10:41 PM
Holy cow it is freezing outside less then 30 degrees burrr..... But my kiddies are home. I need to start putting laundry away now and trying to come up with dinner.... I am thinking pigs in blanket Mac and cheese and veggies. Comfort food that I know the little ones will eat for sure......
My kindle is acting up again I think I need too figure out why the browser is having issues....
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Chi
Dancing to her own beat..
Penpal
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11-21-2013, 11:21 PM
I went looking at AT&T cell phone plans because US Cellular is horrible here. No such luck. I'm not willing to pay more than we already are. x_<;
We had sofrito ribs over pasta tonight. I feel sick to my stomach now, blergh.
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Jaz
Death warmed over
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11-21-2013, 11:31 PM
My StoMach isn't pleased word the garlic toast but I am better in all other Ways. Ellie did something wonky to MY kindle ans THE keyboard ist acting up
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Chi
Dancing to her own beat..
Penpal
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11-21-2013, 11:36 PM
You can't win. ;_; Ellie has been sooo busy the past few days!
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Jaz
Death warmed over
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11-21-2013, 11:50 PM
She is always busy but she has been quick to get into things before i can respond... i am not sure what she did but it is still kind of off. Not as bad though.... i am sad, my baby group is tonight but i don't think it's responsible of me to go. So i will miss both for this month i missed the AM meeting because of Jayden And this because of illness... so lame....
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Chi
Dancing to her own beat..
Penpal
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11-22-2013, 12:00 AM
Bummer... :( I know it usually helps to recharge you.
Terra is freaking cracked out bonkers right now. Absolutely freaking bonkers. I don't know what's gotten into her. She's never violent (seriously!) and she's throwing crap at everyone. Time out in her bedroom right now. :s
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Jaz
Death warmed over
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11-22-2013, 01:54 AM
I have tried replying 5 times now. My Kindle is being really odd.
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Chi
Dancing to her own beat..
Penpal
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11-22-2013, 01:57 AM
I was wondering... I saw you online and thought it odd you didn't post. o.o
I wonder what happened..? Do you have to factory restore it? :/
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Jaz
Death warmed over
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11-22-2013, 02:38 AM
Boy i hope not... re~downloading is a pain in it's self but getting the personal dictionary back will take forever too. i think it may be the browser but i can't be 100%
Maybe i should just to clear up some space hrmmm but i want to finish my audio books first so i don't have to redownload.
---------- Post added 11-21-2013 at 07:47 PM ----------
Or maybe it's just Mene and the kindle... as I am not seeming to have issues with Cafemom. Or maybe it is partially fixed or maybe not because it was refusing to allow me to spell "resolved" it was like the keys weren't working like a normal keyboard but it is a digital keyboard... i could press it and it'd show the act of being pressed but e s o l weren't responding at all...
I was going to say a few things but i totally can't recall what they were now...
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