Thread Tools

Jaz
Death warmed over
2991.42
Jaz is offline
 
Old 12-04-2013, 02:21 PM

I think they can but only through the school email system which I don't know how to access yet. :/ not sure if that is true but I will be calling some time today and trying to figure out what to do about Michael.

We didn't get much done either, we looked up a few videos on fixing our steamer and eventually Facebooked Hoover which was suggested on one of their official videos. No response yet but none of the videos addressed the fresh water tank a spazzing out and letting loose tons of water!

So it's snowing.... :'( I hate driving in the snow T.T yesterday it was warm enough to not wear a coat almost all day and today it is too cold to not be bundled to the hilt! Colorado is bipolar.

Chi
Dancing to her own beat..
Penpal
91045.91
Chi is offline
 
Old 12-04-2013, 02:34 PM

I hate driving in the snow, too. It scares the crap out of me. I'm really worried about my Monday interview as it's set to be icy and snowy. I'd have to drive 120 miles... :/

Jaz
Death warmed over
2991.42
Jaz is offline
 
Old 12-04-2013, 02:48 PM

I don't even want to drive the few miles to baby group much less 120 miles o.O;

Chi
Dancing to her own beat..
Penpal
91045.91
Chi is offline
 
Old 12-04-2013, 02:54 PM

I know... I need to call the company tomorrow if the weather forecast doesn't change. Right now Monday and Tuesday are set to be really crappy.

---------- Post added 12-04-2013 at 09:55 AM ----------

Oh! It did change. :)

Jaz
Death warmed over
2991.42
Jaz is offline
 
Old 12-04-2013, 03:22 PM

The weather changed?

I am feeling sick to my stomach again... /sigh I was suppose to be catching up on laundry for an hour I only got about 5-10 minutes in before I was forced to lay down :( Liam is really active do I am curious if some is just him jostling my stomach. But yeah I don't like being set behind :( maybe I can start my next project soaking the kitchen sink... since I can rest while I do so.

Chi
Dancing to her own beat..
Penpal
91045.91
Chi is offline
 
Old 12-04-2013, 03:30 PM

Argh! Lost a post. The internet keeps cutting out because it's really windy.

Try to rest the best you can. :<

And yep, weather's changed to being just snow. I'm crossing fingers it won't even be that.

Jaz
Death warmed over
2991.42
Jaz is offline
 
Old 12-04-2013, 07:51 PM

That is good I try my hardest to never ever reschedule an interview. It proves I am willing to go the distance to show up in snow/ rain/ sleet what have you. Just leave extra early and drive extra careful.

It is freaking freezing feeling outside! It was 20° last I looked but it is biting cold. I went to group and it was nice though I don't like how Jayden can ignore me so easily. :/ she repeatedly broke rules and encouraged the little ones to do the same /sigh

It's nap time for this little one. I am on cup 3 of coffee now though it is about half creamer/ egg nog. I just wanted the warm. Dillon came home for lunch which was nice! He forgot his wallet/ phone again cause he's brilliant lol.

Hope your day is going well

---------- Post added 12-04-2013 at 12:59 PM ----------

Lame... out bid for an ornament I want to get Ellie and I don't see any others like it

Chi
Dancing to her own beat..
Penpal
91045.91
Chi is offline
 
Old 12-04-2013, 08:10 PM

Yep... that's how I feel too about rescheduling. I don't dare do it unless absolutely critical. I'll keep an eye on the forecast and if it seems dodgy come Friday I'll call them. Right now it seems doable.

It's.. warm outside today. So much that a wasp has shown itself. There is a huge, huge wasp problem here that I wish I'd known about before moving. It's right on the door waiting to come in. The landlord's a dickhead about it. The nest is NOWHERE to be seen, which means it's inside the damned windowsill(s) on the upstairs level. They come from all ends of this side of the apartments. All ends.

I'm home. I'm taking a tiny breather before jumping on the to-do list. I'll start spaghetti sauce as soon as I'm done posting.

Got my hair trimmed and layered today. I was seriously overdue. I look somewhat presentable for the interview at least! I'm hoping the weather cooperates.

I drank entirely too much coffee today. ;_;

Jaz
Death warmed over
2991.42
Jaz is offline
 
Old 12-04-2013, 09:04 PM

I only finished half my cup of coffee before putting Ellie down for nap. I wasn't feeling it. I am still working on the 1 liter I was trying to do yesterday why is drinking water so hard in the winter /whines.

I need to make a school call still. Now that Jayden is gone and Ellie is asleep I can probably manage that better. It is already 2pm and I need to get on my chores more I've lost a lot of time today :/ I hope my pants are dry so I can put them back on. Being dressed helps me stay motivated!

Chi
Dancing to her own beat..
Penpal
91045.91
Chi is offline
 
Old 12-04-2013, 09:39 PM

I force myself to drink 2 liters a day, minimum. It keeps my herniated disk pain manageable. That and removing refined sugars. If I don't drink that much water a day I'm usually in a lot of pain within the next two days. It's annoying! I drink it room temp, which helps.

I got the spaghetti sauce going. I was feeling lazy so I tried to alter it a bit. The way the recipe goes, you puree everything after it's cooked. I pureed all the veg until it liquefied this time, then sauteed it in olive oil before adding the tomatoes. I also chopped mushrooms up into quarters and tossed those in. Cole's coming home with some sweet Italian sausage, so I'll use that and ground beef in the final product! :)

Hang in there! I have no oomph left in me to do anything. I did a load of dishes by hand and one by the dishwasher, cleaned out the fridge, and got the sauce going. We're having company for dinner tomorrow, which means there's a butt ton of things left to do. Dinner will be late tonight... mostly because the sauce has to simmer for at LEAST an hour more. It's better if it gets two.

Jaz
Death warmed over
2991.42
Jaz is offline
 
Old 12-04-2013, 11:08 PM

I am suppose to drink at least 2 liters a day. But I struggle to get one most days especially lately. I am really bad in winter unless it is hot I don't want it. I am terrible!

I need to cut and pre cook the potatoes and to thaw the veggies too. But we are doing homework rounds right now. :/

I am sad at how little progress I am making on Ellie's room I went up after posting my last post and got barely this little tiny corner of the bedroom painted a little better... I could just shoot whoever thought dark burnt orange was a good idea to paint a room! Hers has the worst coloring of all the rooms and it has been awful to try to cover with such light colors.

I hate homework time more then the kids at this point. Ellie's bored, Sean is miserable about how lame his homework is and Michael is frustrated and unmoving.

Chi
Dancing to her own beat..
Penpal
91045.91
Chi is offline
 
Old 12-04-2013, 11:55 PM

I'm not feeling well now that dinner's done. Meh. I need to get cooking tomorrow's meal. We're having company, and because work went so poorly, I know I won't get to go home early tomorrow. My post-op appointment is in the morning so I doubt I'll get into work until 11am... 10:30am if I'm lucky.

Cole's being super awesome and picking up where I'm slacking. I just can't do it.

How many coats of paint do you think you'll need in Ellie's room?

Jaz
Death warmed over
2991.42
Jaz is offline
 
Old 12-05-2013, 12:28 AM

It's hard to say there are places I haven't even gotten 1 coat up (this corner was one of those places) because I was avoiding the ladder. The white is taking about 3 coats to get it covered nicely. I am also going a LOT slower getting this room done between waning energy and NO help from Dillon up there it is taking FOREVER. Which means even longer until I can get the place steamed. And her furniture moved and situated. So annoying...

Dillon has been helping me to sort of keep up with basic upkeep. Not great but ok. I don't understand how one nights worth of dishes can result in 3+ hours of dishes but he will stay up when I am putting Ellie down and still be up at midnight 1am still working on them. We hand wash cause we have no dish washer but still 15 to 30 minutes per load with 3 loads tops for one day/ night worth of cooking/ eating.

He is making dinner at the moment as I was scrubbing the he'll out of the nasty sink when he came home. I am covered in comet and bleach now.... But my sink looks a lot better and I feel like washing dishes in it actually results in clean dishes. Yay!

I am at a loss I didn't hear back from Michael's teacher today and his homework is too much for me to handle with all three kids on top of me. I can't give him the attention he needs for it and his teacher isn't reaching him. It is dire that he gets help NOW and that I am not ignored...

Chi
Dancing to her own beat..
Penpal
91045.91
Chi is offline
 
Old 12-05-2013, 01:12 AM

Three or more hours for dishes seems... much. Surely he does something else in between washing? It seems off. I hand washed one load while the other was in the washer and it took fifteen minutes at most. Granted, I air dried and didn't hand dry/put them away... still!

I really hope his teacher gets in touch tomorrow. Try not to worry too much... you've made the initial contact, which means the connection's established. Something WILL come together to help him.

I finished cooking the second meal. I don't know what happened with it but there's no liquid! I'm going to have to add some stock to it when I reheat it tomorrow with the black beans. It's a taco soup recipe that normally calls for ground beef, but I put in the final leftover turkey. That surely sucked up some of the liquid. It's good enough to serve company though, so that's all that matters.

Cole's putting Terra to bed, so I'm taking a moment to breathe before taking stuff out to the car. I have packages I need to mail, and if I don't put things into the car I ALWAYS forget in the morning. Hah.

Jaz
Death warmed over
2991.42
Jaz is offline
 
Old 12-05-2013, 02:31 AM

He does dry between loads as we have a teeny tiny strainer but still. I think he watches tv so that dishes can 'soak' but usually I pass out shortly after putting Ellie down.

Turkey pot pie is a success. Should probably figure out tomorrows dinner... I am drained for no explained reason... I didn't get much done today so I feel unjustified.

don't forget your boxes!! lol

Chi
Dancing to her own beat..
Penpal
91045.91
Chi is offline
 
Old 12-05-2013, 03:06 AM

Hehe, thanks! Everything's in the car ready to go. Minus the kitchen floor, the entire apartment is clean, too. I think that'll be a tomorrow thing before company comes, but I don't know. He opened up the new cookware, so the old cookware is just... scattered everywhere. So, I guess I should say the apartment is clean minus the kitchen. I did take care of the cupboards and all dishes are done.

Mmm, turkey pot pie sounds really good. :) My taco soup was tasty. When I reheat it tomorrow I'll probably add a bit more cumin and paprika. It will likely need a little something else once I add the black beans. Didn't wanna tonight as I worried they'd fall apart.

I need to push my butt to bed. Have a good sleep when you get there!

Jaz
Death warmed over
2991.42
Jaz is offline
 
Old 12-05-2013, 03:38 AM

Dillon is bathing the baby then I will buy her down for bed. I have been in bed for the last 15 minutes or so moping and self loathing.... So I ran out of sister wives to watch so I started watching Nanny 911. I seem to be able to watch reality tv really well as background noise while I am bustling about doing stuff. But I have to be super careful what I watch because some will down right piss me off. I was watching 19 and counting last year and I loved it so I tried watching Jon and Kate plus 8 and just about came uncorked! Watching those two parents made me so ANGRY! Nanny 911 is kind of more making (drilling) a point I already knew.... I am going about it ALL the wrong way.... I can name my issues but I am bunk at fixing them /fail. I can see a lot of my issues in in the parents on the show. I also noticed every show has pointed to bad behavior being directly related to parents..... that is pretty darn profound!

Ok I'm done I swear! Only I can fix it, only I can change it!

Going to cuddle this baby and maybe knit while watching some more shows :P

Jaz
Death warmed over
2991.42
Jaz is offline
 
Old 12-05-2013, 02:35 PM

I passed out instead.

Hope you have a good doctor visit today!

Jaz
Death warmed over
2991.42
Jaz is offline
 
Old 12-05-2013, 11:16 PM

My ex is a steaming putrescent piece of cockroach crap.... He took three weeks to turn down my offer. THREE FUCKING WEEKS! He shows up today after I tried to call and see what the deal was. And tells me "we're trying to find something that is fair for everyone." BULL FUCKING SHIT he is... I pay for michael's $20-50+ uniforms. I pay for school supplies. I pay for everything but he wants to be the "fun guy who takes him to and from school, but none of the responsibility. I'm sure if he wound up with Monday or Tuesday Michael would "magically" not show up to boy scouts or cursive writing because he can't even make it to special events for Mikes. MUCH FREAKING LESS he if he does drag his sorry ass out to an event he doesn't stay even long enough to watch Michael's turn. Did I tell you about the bull shit he pulled with Michael's pinewood derby last year??? Michael didn't get to make ANY of it.... He was sooo upset.... I could just slam my face into the desk. So now I need to manifest money out of no where to figure out how to pay a lawyer.

I was trying to not get worked up over it but it escalated MASSIVELY in my own head and I was going to explode. He says the times only offer him one more hour. SERIOUSLY??? He broke it into hours. I saw it as quality time for both parties and he is looking at hours. You can't tell me he isn't trying to reduce his child support.!

Last edited by Jaz; 12-05-2013 at 11:25 PM..

Chi
Dancing to her own beat..
Penpal
91045.91
Chi is offline
 
Old 12-06-2013, 02:22 PM

Holy crap. I ended up being unable to be on the computer yesterday. Work was stupid crazy, then we had company immediately after, followed by my turn to bathe and get Terra to bed. She REFUSED me to be away from her, so... I ended up giving up and going to sleep at 8:30pm. It was either that or she'd b up all night. Bah.

My post-op appointment went well. She said no cancer. She was concerned that she removed twice the amount of tissue from me that she does for others normally, but everything looked fine. That's all that matters. I now have a gym buddy, so... I should be good to go on "getting healthier". ;) At least I'm fortunate that my diet's already fine.

Three weeks to give a response? What's his problem? I'm so sorry it's coming down to being a huge fight. :( Especially since he just wants less child support to pay and it's not really about Michael's wellbeing. It's frustrating. Are there any pro bono lawyers in your county?

He's definitely trying to reduce his child support. Guess it's time to make a list of all his failures, with the tone of showing concern for lack of support for Mikes. Hasn't he been over there for visits with his dad not even being there?

Jaz
Death warmed over
2991.42
Jaz is offline
 
Old 12-06-2013, 03:07 PM

I just sat here for 30 minutes staring at my kindle screen trying to find the words to reply.... I'm at a loss in so many ways... More then just Michael and his dad. Today is going to be rough at best. I am glad that I don't have Jayden today I probably would have been dragged into the mental health institute and locked up.

Chi
Dancing to her own beat..
Penpal
91045.91
Chi is offline
 
Old 12-06-2013, 04:37 PM

Oh no. What happened last night/this morning? :(

Jaz
Death warmed over
2991.42
Jaz is offline
 
Old 12-06-2013, 05:52 PM

I don't honestly know where to start. I still have yet to hear back from Michael's teacher, and matter aren't getting better with homework, then she had dropped two HUGE projects on our laps that we were not financially or intellectually prepared to address both at once. That statement isn't entirely true. The first we were well prepared for. It was given 6 or 8 weeks in advance and Michael has been done with the book for over a month. I put off looking up the image of the sarcophagus for him to base his pop bottle on. And like I suspected the actual making of the pop bottle wasn't hard he did it in about 3 days putting finishing touches on the night before it was due (which btw was the last first day back from vacation). But I told Michael he should try to reread the book (since he had reading response to do anyway which he didn't do all vacation) so his memory was refreshed. Then the day of turning in he lost all the questions and stuff he had answered on the book over a month ago! To make matters worse he was given the second project the Friday before break to be due today and he was completely silent about it until he the Friday or Sat before break ended.... this project was financially overwhelming. He had to construct a habitat and he picked a desert to do, but there were required aspects that made me feel like I was being forced to purchase a bunch of stuff. It MUST have animals, plants, and the ACTUAL type of soil that would be present. So in his case sand. We could not just walk outside and find sand so it was another purchase. Then we found NO animal figures that would be present in a desert. Just one snake which we already had, we picked up this 10$ plastic animal set that didn't have anything that we could honestly use so it was simply a waste of money. So we printed coloring pages instead to represent the animals you might find. But they were too big for the box so he put them on the outside instead of inside. The boys had a couple of cacti figurines from their dinosaur set but they couldn't find them so more missing... I am so upset that he just doesn't seem to care he has been so apathetic and I am losing faith in just about everything.

When Dillon got home Michael was still not finished with his normal homework, and I had yet to be able to start Sean on his (his was still barely touched when he was off to school at 10am. And I talked with Dilllon about the thing with Michael's dad. He is just as much at a loss as I am. I get all the hard things, I take him to the doctor and the dentist and to all his extra curricular and his dad will get to ride on my dime. He will GARUNTEED ask for Saturday and get to do all the fun boy scout stuff (unless I tell him he needs to pay then Michael will miss out but Mikes will blame me because Breanna and I are the ones who enrolled him). I just don't get how it is that I am suppose to do all the hard stuff and he gets to just fuck around (quite literally) and be the fun parent.... But Michael sees the 50/50 schedule his dad told him as fair because at nine it does seem fair.

Then all night Ellie spent the whole night whining and waking or kicking the crap out of me. I got very little sleep between worrying about everything with Michael and her. So I woke in a sour mood to hearing Dillon trying to coach Michael on the project due today. Which turned sour to complete depression. I have mostly shut down for the day aside from the multitude of sobbing screaming breakdowns I've had I just finished one in fact after Ellie disappeared for 10 seconds and broke an entire 64 oz Apple juice all over the floor and in the rush to stop it from going under the cabinets I stepped on the sharp things Christmas lights are sold in that my kids wouldn't leave in the trash. I pretty much collapsed and sobbed for 20 more minutes. its feel like I am completely abandoned on all sides. Dillon was considering staying home to help with Michael's project and everything and last minute without a word to me packed his lunch and left. Leaving everything in my hands. He also felt Michael should have to sleep in the bed he made so I was forced to try to get him something to turn in while trying o care for myself and the other two.

Dillon sent me an email essentially offering bribes as a peace offering. Which only further upset me so when I took the boys I bought myself food that will make me feel the same way physically as I am emotionally and mentally....

Last edited by Jaz; 12-06-2013 at 06:04 PM..

Chi
Dancing to her own beat..
Penpal
91045.91
Chi is offline
 
Old 12-06-2013, 06:14 PM

Oh Jaz... :( What a mess. It's no wonder you're feeling so isolated and hopeless.

I don't know what I would do regarding Michael. From the bits and bobs you've shared over the months, it sounds like he's depressed. For whatever reason he feels he's not listened to, which is frustrating when he doesn't see the whole picture. He doesn't understand what adults juggle to ensure kids' basic needs are met. He's not cognitively able to "get" the child support part either.

Am I understanding that the biggest upset with the project he was quiet about is the money involved combined with his apathy in general? Maybe the hard lesson is for him to fail. It is NOT a reflection upon you as a parent. You cannot help your baby if he doesn't voice what he needs, and to procrastinate that heavily on a project lies on his shoulders. It's about turning it around into a life lesson that doesn't completely crush him or you in the process.

Hang in there. I wish I could do more. :(

Jaz
Death warmed over
2991.42
Jaz is offline
 
Old 12-06-2013, 06:55 PM

I know Michael is not mentally mature enough to understand everything that comes with babies and kids and I try so hard not to expect him to. But I am at a loss when his dad tells him everything or will say shit like "well if your mom wouldn't blow the money I give her she'd have money to do x,y and z for you" how am I to counter stuff like that? I will never win. I never thought I'd say it but I am worn so far down that I am ready to just give up. Maybe the answer is letting his dad have what he wants and more. He can manage Michael and it just seems so much like Michael wants him over me anyhow... I am pretty broken anymore, I don't have answers.

With Michael's school I have been slowly backing off he needs to be responsible enough to be able to do it on his own his dad sure as shit won't care if he gets his way. But with how much I see him struggling elsewhere I am terribly worried his grades are going to suffer in a way that is not going to be able to be rectified. I want him to see that he is responsible for his actions and outcomes but he takes the easy road like his father and tells me how much it is my fault and won't hear me when I explain he needs to learn to look at the real problem. His procrastination and laziness and apathy. Those three are a lethal mix.

I am so drained I am in physical pain all over. Holding my head up is a challenge.... and it is lunch time and all I got done to take care of the Apple juice fiasco was to cover it with towels and sop some of it up

 


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 4 (0 members and 4 guests)
 
Thread Tools

 
Forum Jump

no new posts