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Clair Voyant
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08-28-2009, 10:54 PM
Sounds really good. :heart:
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Izumi
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08-29-2009, 12:37 AM
Mel - At least you can get your kids to watch educational shows! Mine always want to watch that iCarly rubbish, or some of the other crappy kidshows they have these days. I've tried to sit down and watch an episode of iCarly, but I felt oddly offended by the whole underlying message of the episode.
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Melody
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08-29-2009, 12:59 PM
Izumi- lol. I don't let them watch nick. It's either PBS or Disney.
I can't stand some of the shows nick has, like the fairly odd parents etc. Its just disturbing. >.>
Anyway, I have class today, then a wedding to go to so I'll be out most of hte day. Hope all my parent friends have an awesome day!!
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Clair Voyant
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08-29-2009, 01:34 PM
Fairly Odd Parents bugs me.
I love Chowder, Flapjack and I adore Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy.
But those are Cartoon Network shows.
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Jaz
Death warmed over
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08-29-2009, 02:12 PM
*grumbles* I am going to duck tape my son into his diapers I swear //sarcasm!!! He won't leave them on when they are dry and I don't even want to talk about what he does when they are dirty. O_o I can't WAIT to get him back into clothies those things are a bear for him to take off and they are more comfortable for him (the plastic ones are causing a rash on his belly for some reason.) This mornings wake up call was not my idea of fun AT ALL!
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Izumi
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08-29-2009, 03:55 PM
Sorry to hear of your frustration, Jaz. Makes me glad I got to skip those stages in the stepkids' life. It's nice that they're at an age where they're getting more and more independent each day. That way I don't feel totally overwhelmed when I'm babysitting them. I spent some time over my friend's house who has a 1 year old, a 4 year old and a 6 year old and oh my gosh that is chaotic! She can't turn her back for a second. She went to the neighbor's house with the 1 yr old for a minute and in that small time frame, the 4 year old was tearing the place apart and not to mention just walked right into the bathroom where I was at. I thought he needed to go bad, but when he grabbed a comb and was playing with his hair in the mirror I told him he needed to go out until I finish... O_o
Edit: I'm feeling really depressed right now. The stupid ex-wife won't let me talk to my stepkids and I wanted to talk to them. She told me I don't mean anything and I have no right to speak to them. I wanted to hear how Tristan was doing and tell Pam that her grandma dropped her off a bunch of stuff. She actually made my stepson hang up on me and then blocked my phone number. I'm having Aaron talk to her and if he doesn't straighten her out I want nothing to do with her anymore or her kids. I want Aaron to sign off his rights and we make our own family or I want out of this relationship. It's really upsetting me.
Last edited by Izumi; 08-29-2009 at 07:33 PM..
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Melody
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08-31-2009, 04:33 PM
*huggles Izumi* Don't blame the kids for her being an idiot. I'm sure they would like to talk to you more, they just aren't able to. I hope your hubby can solve the issues. She shouldn't treat you like that.
Jaz- still too young for potty training. Too bad. When my kids started taking off their diapers we started putting them on the potty. xD melody would stay and go on the potty, aaron started keeping his diapers on.
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Izumi
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08-31-2009, 04:47 PM
Well I settled down, and as per normal Aaron is just letting her do it as he claims I really don't have any legal rights to the kids. He then said maybe in a year we can have a child of our own if the situation gets better. I fail to see how as we only have a two bedroom house and right now the kids take up the other bedroom. If we were planning on adding an additional room, his kids are going to want to have their own rooms. There's times where I'm upset enough as it is that they take up as much space but are rarely around. It sounds stupid but I would love to have my own office.
I don't think I would want to have a kid of my own to be honest...the only way I would want to do it is if we were financially well off that I could be a stay at home mom until at least they're in school and even then I would only want to work part time while they were actually in school. I doubt that is going to float over well with hubby, but with child care being expensive and me feeling guilty over having to do that not to mention I have at least another 11 years before we are done with his ex wife...I'll be 37 by then. Maybe my biological clock will still be ticking and we'll all get what we want. *sighs*
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Melody
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08-31-2009, 06:35 PM
I wouldn't shoot for a baby too long after 35, eggs aren't as good of quality then. Its still manageable, but its not recommended, as the chance of having a child with downs syndrome is increased I believe.
When you're ready though, is the ideal time to have kids. Just keep biology in mind, and that your energy levels seem to deplete as you get older. xD
I wouldn't want to deal with his ex. She sounds like a real...gem? haha. Kids do take up a lot of room...and their toys, clothes, and dishes take up even more. Babies are the worst though, because there is so much stuff that you get that is geared towards just babies, bouncers, jumpers, walkers, play mats, swings etc. Man, babies are not only expensive but messy! oh and then theres diapers, wipes, rash cream, baby wash, baby tubs or baby seats for the tub, yadayadayada. @ [email protected]
Good Lord, how did I manage twins?
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Izumi
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08-31-2009, 06:44 PM
My goodness...The whole baby phase scares me to be honest. I'm afraid I'm going to break them because they're so delicate looking. They aren't old enough to voice their own opinions, so everything comes out as a scream. I also don't think I'd appreciate the whole diaper phase and having to change and wipe bums, but once they grow out of that and start developing personalities and you see their quirks it gets interesting.
That's another thing that scares me...twins run along my mother's side and they seem to skip a couple generations..She thought she might end up with twins herself. It's probably going to be my luck that I would get them. I guess in a sense it would be nice as hubby told me if we have any kids that one was it, and well if that happens he won't have any say in the matter. When you have more than one it's nice as they can play with one another and keep each other occupied. You have squabbling, yes, but that's easily remedied. =3
As for the ex being a real gem - that's an understatement! I really question some of her decisions and where she comes up with the crap she does. Right now my 10 year old step daughter is probably wearing her 32A padded pushup bra...and we wonder why there's pedophiles running around. :cry:
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Melody
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08-31-2009, 08:40 PM
I think I started wearing bras around that age, but it was more to get used to them for middle school than anything else. xD I had nothing to hold up. lol. But padded bras didn't come until high school. Then I had a baby and didn't need the padding...but still wore them while breast feeding, because if the bra insert to keep milk from going through your bras onto your shirt filled up, the padding bought me a few more minutes. xD Oh the joys of having children...
You could have a hystosonogram done to see how many eggs you produce. If your family runs fraternal twins at least. Since there would be two eggs. Its painful, but worth it if you want to know. xD I have overactive ovaries it seems, I have 2 eggs every other month. Twins run in me. lolz.
Babies have personalities. They start to form probably around two weeks. xD The twins were quite amusing. Sakura, my first daughter was waited on hand and foot for a good 6 months or so because I didn't know what I was doing, and apparently thats just how it is with first born children. xD But the twins we were a little more relaxed with (how odd is that? two babies and I'm more relaxed? lolz) but I noticed more with the twins too. Aaron was very gung ho go out there and get it done, he was trying to crawl and push himself up around 2 months of age. Melody wanted to be a princess, so she just kinda watched him and then fussed to be picked up.
We never really had the money to get them a lot of stuff. But they never went with out. Any time there was something I decided we should have for them I would make a point to save up, or change the budget to afford it. (so instead of having pork chops one night we'd have hamburger helper or something) There are ways to make do.
Im sooo looking forward to being pregnant again! xD Not looking forward to the shots, but I am looking forward to being pregnant.
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Izumi
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08-31-2009, 08:49 PM
Awww what a cute name, Sakura! Cherry blossoms in Japanese. I would love to give my child a Japanese name, but Aaron won't have anything of it. I told him my foot is put down on the name Aeris. I absolutely love that name, and I'm the one who would be hypothetically giving birth to it so I am going to get my way. :XP
Well I guess it's something you got to learn. I worried about taking care of the step kids, in case I did something wrong or they got hurt while I watched them but now that I've been around them for awhile they're pretty easy to handle. Especially the 10 year old, who has always been rather independant and able to take care of herself. My 8 year old step son is still babied at home and we're trying to encourage him to be more self sufficient. Make his cereal in the morning, and get his own drinks. Little things like that! He's still learning, and we just had to yell at him the other day for not flushing the toilet. For some reason that doesn't just 'naturally' come to him...which I find slightly annoying, yet amuzing at the same time.
Speaking of them, their mother just called and right now Aaron said to just let it ring through to voicemail so I don't have to deal with her but you know it's the strangest thing. She was all chatty and happy and wanting to get Aaron's info for paperwork to take step son to the specialist, but at the same time it seems she doesn't want me to get close to her kids. She wouldn't offer to let me speak to them, but told me they were 'fine' and I was able to tell her that Pam's grandma dropped off a bag of clothes for her and we were going to let her rummage through and take some up to mom's house to wear to school. She has waay too many pieces of clothing here and just not enough time to wear it.
I think that's the secret of her - she's nice as pie until I try to form a relationship with her kids...then she gets extremely nasty about it. I'm still looking forward to seeing them again and I hope Tristan runs up to me and gives me a big hug like he sometimes does and tells me he misses me. I think that is probably what hurts her the most, but at the same time it feels so good when that little boy tells me he loves me and he even asks dad on the phone how I'm doing and to tell me he loves me!! Gosh I'm missing them so much now. I mean even if I'm not directly interacting with them, just having them around brings so much excitement to this house.
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Clair Voyant
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08-31-2009, 08:50 PM
@ Melody::
No, that's a myth. My mother works in the medical field.
She says mid-forties is when it gets to be a bit risky for having children, but every woman is different. Having children in your 30s is just fine.
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Melody
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09-01-2009, 11:29 AM
Clair- I'm working with Yale fertility specialists, and that is their recommendation. Unless your mom is a specialist, I don't hold much stock in what she says. No offense, but I've been doing this stuff and hearing it all for a while now, I think I know what I'm talking about when it comes to creating babies.
Izumi- So long as your goal isn't to replace her in their lives, I don't see what her problem could be. What could be better than KNOWING that there are people out there that love your children enough to take care of them happily if something ever happened to you?
I still kinda worry what would happen to my kids, I know my mother would love to have them, but she works far too much to have the time for them, my husbands mom is the same way. *woe*
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Clair Voyant
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09-01-2009, 11:36 AM
@ Melody::
:lol: Well, you've got me, but my mother says that it's not until a woman is in her forties that you should worry about that, and the risks of down syndrome is only a theory that it might be connected to a woman's age.
My mother is a surgical tech., works more in the operating room, but she knows a good deal about medicine. ^^ She's delievered 2 children of her own, too. ;)//
But seriously, no offence taken. ^^
How are you?
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Melody
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09-01-2009, 11:45 AM
xD They won't let women over 35 be egg donors for that reason. The quality of egg is depleted, but the risk of downs syndrome is only a theory, but why take unnecessary risks?
Doing good. Really tired though. I can't seem to get enough sleep lately. o.o It must be the shots, I remember being tired all the time when I was pregnant too. ugh.
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Clair Voyant
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09-01-2009, 11:50 AM
Well, there goes my plan of donating eggs. :lol: And true, I wouldn't want to risk it, myself. So why would someone else? :)
Aww, I'm sorry you're tired. D":
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Izumi
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09-01-2009, 12:24 PM
OK ladies, hubby finally sat down and confronted exwife about the current situation and apparently she thinks that we "need to have a balance check, and certain people need to step up (her boyfriend), and certain people need to step down (me)" and that I think I have as much right to those children as my her or my husband. (Hell yes I do, if not legally I can voice my opinion to my husband and he can act on my behalf so pffft sit and spin...hate to put it that immature but yah...)
And then...*drum rolls* The reason she gets so worked up about me talking to the kids is it agitates her boyfriend! Apparently he 'tries' to get their love and affection and while the kids will play with him and will put up with him they really have the attitude that they care less. (She's been with him for nearly 5 years now and claims that they're engaged, but he was with his previous girlfriend for over 10 years and she died before they got married so I'm not holding my breath...) When the kids talk to me, their faces light up and they smile. They say they love me, and miss me. And when they can't talk to me they ask how I'm doing. They seem to care much more about me and it's really starting to grate on the relationship between the exwife and her boyfriend. She's drafted 'new rules' and said that I'm only allowed to call 'in emergency', if the kids call the call must be brief, and if hubby calls it's OK for me to chit chat either with him or without him but hubby has to call to initiate the call. Now while I think her rules are stupid, I never initiate a call anyways as I really don't want to deal with her on a bad day. I've tried to be the negotiator between Aaron and her and it went foul the day I suggested step son come live with us...that was a blow below the belt to her.
Anyways, last night I was smiling from ear to ear. To know that I've been in their lives only half the time their mom has been with her partner, yet I've really had a lasting effect on them is just beyond words. Aaron seems to think that the fact their mother has cycled through more boyfriends than he has girlfriends that it has desensitized the kids a bit as they're not wanting to get too close in case they get hurt. Not to mention the exwife's family time consists of mushroom hunting and fishing...And I know for a fact neither one of those kids really enjoy either one. We try to mix it up, and ask the kids for their input as to what kind of mischief we get up to...and I think they like the fact we actually take their feelings/views into consideration. Those are a few things.
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Clair Voyant
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09-01-2009, 12:49 PM
Well, I wonder if it's an abusive relatiohship.
I wonder if maybe he has some sort of control over her... and she's scared, so she acts that way to keep from upsetting him? IDK.
Anyways, it's nice you have a lasting impression on the kids, Izumi. ^^
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Melody
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09-01-2009, 12:57 PM
Fishing sounds fun, I haven't been in a couple of years. </3
about the boyfriend thing... LOL. He has all the time he's over there with them, you have what some months in summer and possibly weekends? Yes, he does need to step up, he needs to act like a father if thats what he wants to be with them. Kids can tell when people aren't comfortable around them.
But you have to think of the kids mindsets too. They're more likely to view time with their dad and you as 'vacation' since its more out of the norm than spending time at moms house. Since you have limited time with them, you don't mind doing more with them in the shorter period of time. Kids are always happy for a vacation! xD She needs to realize that thats just how things are, and will continue to be. I'm sure that if the kids moved in with you, and vacation time turned into time with their actual mom, then they would have the same reactions going to visit her and her boyfriend. Just how kids are. I know I was that way when it came to my parents after their divorce. *shrugs*
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Clair Voyant
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09-01-2009, 01:00 PM
See, the thing about divource where kids live part time with each parent seems normal to me... I feel like the freak. :lol:
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Melody
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09-01-2009, 01:08 PM
xD I had vacation time with my dad. We would see him once a week for a few hours, generally Sunday after church then he would drop us off back home and that was it until the next week or summer time. o.o My parents got divorced when I was like 15 though. I guess kids that grew up with that may not have the same mindset. But all my friends with divorced parents had it the same way as me. >> I could be wrong still though. xD
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Clair Voyant
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09-01-2009, 01:21 PM
I haven't seen my father in person in almost 11 years. :)
He lives in Boise Idaho, I live in Maine.
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Melody
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09-01-2009, 09:08 PM
Thats kinda far. xD
Though my dad lives in Ca and I live in NC so ya know, we're pretty far too. I'll talk to him maybe once a month or so?
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Clair Voyant
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09-01-2009, 09:11 PM
:yes: I try to talk to my dad, if not every day, every couple of days. ^^
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