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Clair Voyant
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12-21-2014, 12:46 AM
Hi my friends. Am I still welcome?
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salvete
(づ ̄ ³ ̄)...
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12-21-2014, 05:43 AM
*enters thread*
Hello there, Clair Voyant!
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Melody
(づ ̄ ³ ̄)...
☆ Penpal
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12-21-2014, 06:14 AM
Everyone is welcome Clair!
Hello Salvete!
Sooo I have the BEST girl scout co leader in the world. We were going to hire a sitter for the Christmas party tonight and I was talking to her about my plans and what not, and she was like, woah, wait. My son has been begging to have your son over for a play date (they're in the same class at school) Why don't I just take all 3 and you can your hubs can have the night off??
It's been fabulous! The kids were so excited, they packed and were ready to go WITH SHOES ON an hour before we needed to leave! I had time to do my hair and make up AND nails. I feel festive. And pretty. And I got to hang out with people I normally don't, and one of the best parts is that it didn't cost me $50 to do it! (I pay my baby sitters well, even if they're with sleeping kids over half the time... I feel it makes them more likely to sit for me again as well as watch over the kiddos better)
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Jaz
Death warmed over
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12-21-2014, 12:30 PM
Hello Salvete!
Hello Claire! Why wouldnt you be welcome?
I figured there would be similarities between you and Dillon and Scott and i and even in Chi's life. We all seem to have someone who is opposite our own schedule.
The losing Dillon to him passing out or even just wandering off and forgetting is frustrating, but not as frustrating as the constant mind fog. He never remembers conversations we have anymore, he loses things constantly, he forgets to do stuff, and he misinterprets almost everything now. It is pure heartbreaking.
He is dying on this constant schedule. I think it would be an ok schedule if we didn't have the two little ones. Ellie and Sean might as well be oil and water when left to their own devices. They are absolute terrors to each other. Ellie cant be left alone with Liam for more then a few seconds because she tries to be mommy and is just too little still. And all the sudden i find Liam went from my content happy baby to such a high needs baby that i can't wven function. I try to stay up late to manage life that i can't when the kids are awake and he either won't go to sleep or wont stay asleep. Today we tried the opposite since he wouldnt let us do ANY prep last night and because Dillon was pure delirius. And guess who woke up. Now he is pinching and pulling and makinging me absolutely miserable. I have actually considered quitting at breastfeeding multiple times becauss of his sleep habits and my misery with trying to pump enough, that is not to say how often i have been reduced to tears because my milk is being thrown away at every turn. The daycare says, in nearly 6 hours of being there, he doesnt "want milk" and they throw out a 3-6 ounce bottle every day he is there (they microwave it despite my protests and i dont have the energy to fight them, so it isnt worth saving), thamkfully Liam has gotten into the routine of nursing while i am trying to pump so he at least gets some milk in that time. Dillon uses two 3-4 oz bottles a day. Then their is my own mind fog combined with Dillon's mine i guess is thyroid related or something, but i have forgotten countless milk bags in my pump cooler, and Dillon has left many warming and never came back to them.
I think i got off topic, scatterbrained much... in short i dont know how to manage. I am frustrated beyond measure and it feels like nothing is getting better. Screw positive attitude at this point i have tried for so long to look at the bright side and feel like everytime i do someone smear mud on my rainbow. Like yesterday i was talking with Dillon, he said thay he was passed up on managerial promotion, because he has "too many schedule restrictions" his boss ONLY works monday through Friday... ONLY 6-2PM... the guy he was passed up for, has worked there less then Dillon, and isnt even trained to do Graveyard yet. What the fucking Hell... that was one of those situations where i wanted to stop dead in my tracks and start screaming like a mad woman and using something to bludgeon people...
The whole religion god thing. I just dont know. I think faith is important to people who need it to feel fullfilled. And while i have and even still do pray, my faith has never been unshakable. I see too much in my world that should not be, things that I believe a "loving" god would not allow to happen to innocents, but in thay same breath i do see goodness, in many cases great earth shattering goodness. I suppose you cant have good without evil but i am more inclined to believe in superman type good and evil that people are one or the other not that we have someone watching for us. If he is out there, likely he or she is just there. A creator but not all knowing, like a writer with an idea spilling onto paper with no control over the pen.
As for my mother. I dont know what to say for her. I know the medicines and the addictions that came with them have altered her brain chemistry. She no longer can think beyond what she already knows. My sister says she is incapable of even following new story aches for tv shows so she can watch old shows that are not needing to be balanced by old episodes (following a long story arch they need to stand alone like Law and Order usually each episode can stand alone) and her religious and political views have reverted to those we think she heard from her mother as a child with small exceptions. And even that conflicts with long standing beliefs. It is hard to explain without getting into highly debate worthy areas but she is pro choice but anti planned parenthood, because "they are baby killers" it is so hard to see her change over the past 6 years, and it kills me to know my mom will never be who she was because of pain caused by a careless and unsafe work environment. I also think the pain has altered her abilities too. They say the first time we feel real pain as a child it alters our brain chemisty. That is why there is so much argument over the practice of circs. Because we are introducing that pain sometimes only hours after birth. Can you imagine being in severe pain for years! Almost a decade now? Then all the emotional crap too losing a home, constant battles in court. I cant blame her but at the same time i cant forgive her either.
Anyhow enough of my utter miserable self loathing bull shit...
Yaaay for great co leaders! I think i am going to try to boost my mood by following your example. It is 6 am now and Liam just went back to bed but likely i won't be able to wrap anymore until Dillon naps for the morning. So i am going to do up my nails...
Last edited by Jaz; 12-21-2014 at 12:49 PM..
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Chi
Dancing to her own beat..
Penpal
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12-21-2014, 12:53 PM
Hi all. <3
I feel like you guys have it worse than I do. Cole works night shift, but it's three nights a week. It's not the entirety of the week. Of course it's ridiculous here, but Terra always has one of us when she's not in school. We're not completely sleep deprived. Halfway, but not completely. I'm also "just" juggling the needs of one child. If we had more, I do think I would have quit work by now. I really do.
Mellie, how was the party? I'm glad things worked out the way they did. I hope it was a blast!
Jaz, keep chugging. I wish I had better advice than that, but you're in a bad bind. Two people working minimum wage (or near it), combined with child care costs, extra gas costs, and all of that... it's too much. There's a lot of importance in working, yeah. It leaves us feeling productive on that societal level, but sometimes the costs are ridiculously high. It would be hard enough with you at home and Dillon working night shift. It's insane with both of you working, never seeing each other, or going without sleep when you do.
I remember how needy Terra was the first two years of life, and I honestly cannot envision doing what you're doing and holding myself together. I know I couldn't do my current job and the ever-changing needs of a newborn-to-toddler. Cluster feeding, leap months... the constant sleeplessness. Nope. You're strong for being able to do what you can do. Most would have thrown in the towel by now.
I'm still working on that secret of making money trees. I will share with everyone once I crack the code. >_>; Then work could be focused on when the kiddos were a bit more older and independent.
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Jaz
Death warmed over
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12-21-2014, 01:33 PM
I want to throw in the towel on so many levels... Liam woke up no pretty Christmas nails for me :( at least not yet... The big boys are awake now too and Dillon went in for a nap so hopefully they can keep him distracted while I pick up where Dillon left off baking (only got 2 presents wrapped between waking up at 3:30 and now almost 7am between coffee and putting Liam back to sleep earlier. And just not being all there enough to start anything upon waking up so i curled into a blanket ball for 45 minutes lol) at least Dillon got the sugar cookie dough made... after Liam nurse... again.... i will start my truffles...
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Chi
Dancing to her own beat..
Penpal
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12-21-2014, 02:47 PM
Mmm, truffles.
My client cancelled on me again. It's been a really bad week for them too. I'm screwed in terms of getting my hours in. Holidays are always hard for staff, or so I'm told. I wish I didn't have that potluck to go to tomorrow. I could just make a shift up then.
Cole's making sugar cookie dough right now, then we'll start the day of more holiday prep. So not feeling it. x_x
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Melody
(づ ̄ ³ ̄)...
☆ Penpal
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12-21-2014, 03:37 PM
When you guys say Sugar Cookie dough, do you mean the dough you can do the shaped cookies with? Because I've got a couple of sugar cookie recipes, but they're just the drop cookies, they won't hold a shape. If you have the shape ones... send a girl a recipe? lol.
I don't think my schedule would be so bad if I didn't contract a case of insomnia during Thanksgiving break. I've got a set schedule of hours, as does Scott as do the kids, so it should really be a no brainer, this is what happens during this time, but it's not because I'll lay down and my body is like "NO". It doesn't even do it for a good reason. Sleeping at night is hard, sleeping in the morning is hard, and then in the afternoon I'm just sooo exhausted I pass out. >.<
Jazzy, Have you tried the nail wraps? They take some time to practice getting on properly (I'm still working on it lol) but they're wraps, so they have 0 drying time unlike nail polish. I did the wraps last night because I didn't have time to wait 30 minutes between coats for the polish to dry completely. If you're interested I could probably hook you up with a starter set. I have a consultant friend for Jamberry I'd be happy to get in touch with again and send you some stuff. (: (You too Chi, but I don't think I've ever heard mention of you doing your nails. lol)
The party was great! We got there late, because Scott was stuck turning around a helicopter and doing a post flight at 5:30. The party started at 6, I think we walked in at 6:30. So not too bad. We had a couple of friends save our seats, which thrilled me to bits because there have been some parties that we've gone to where we've had to sit with a bunch of people we don't know... and that's always hard. The rest of the people at the table, while I didn't know them, were awesome and fun to talk to. We had prime rib for dinner (I'm a sucker for the end pieces! yum! and horseradish...) and cheesecake. There was a raffle, we won nothing, and some games that were amusing. But for the most part it was just fun times with friends. I needed that. And I got to wear my galaxy print dress. I swear, there aren't enough reason to wear dresses in Kodiak. xD
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Jaz
Death warmed over
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12-21-2014, 04:24 PM
I have a friends friend who sells wraps but the introvert in me won't let me talk to her :( I want to try wraps so bad!!! Rthey have a knitted pattern!!!!
Insomnia is rough, I get random bouts that last only a day or two. Usually when I am super stressed. So are you still suffering from insomnia or has it passed?
So after completely losing it, waking Dillon and him going ape shit on the kids for ignoring me. I scolded everyone including Dillon and we seem to have finally gotten through to the kids that Santa comes in 3 days and if my house doesn't get clean I am setting a trap for him and he wont ever come back...mom is not joking around... Liam finally went down for nap so its truffle time!!!
The recipe we use is the recipe on the back of the great value white sugar bag o.o; I use to use my mom's recipe but they were more biscuits then cookies the puffed up and out like freaking crazy and were very sweet...
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salvete
(づ ̄ ³ ̄)...
☆☆
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12-21-2014, 04:45 PM
Thank you for the welcomes!
Have to do a little back-reading to catch up on the conversation ^_^
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Jaz
Death warmed over
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12-21-2014, 07:04 PM
Mine is most ranting we kind of run a never ending conversation in here. Lol
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salvete
(づ ̄ ³ ̄)...
☆☆
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12-21-2014, 07:05 PM
Ah, well that's fine too! Heheh. Let it all out, blow some steam ^_^
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Jaz
Death warmed over
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12-21-2014, 07:44 PM
Lol i am pretty full of steam...
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salvete
(づ ̄ ³ ̄)...
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12-21-2014, 07:46 PM
That's okay, as long as the steam can be let out! Otherwise someone might explode...
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Jaz
Death warmed over
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12-21-2014, 08:04 PM
Explode be exploded same difference right lol.
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salvete
(づ ̄ ³ ̄)...
☆☆
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12-21-2014, 08:17 PM
Well...I guess they are similar xD in both cases, something will explode! lol
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Melody
(づ ̄ ³ ̄)...
☆ Penpal
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12-21-2014, 10:04 PM
xD it's a pretty fluid conversation. Things change as time goes by, so just jump in and introduce yourself and all that. (:
...I don't have a recipe on the back of my sugar bag! D:
Scott has the same issue with the kids when they don't listen to me. Even when I'm trying to stay calm about it if he's stressed and he sees them being disrespectful or getting mouthy he explodes at them, which irritates me because I try to hard not to explode, that his explosion sets off mine... but then it's pretty calm afterwords. My explosion is kinda the end all for the household and things get calm after that. Probably because everyone is afraid to step out of line... lol.
I am still having issues with the insomnia. I think it will probably continue over the next two weeks the kids have off. I'm really hoping it will be over before January ends... I don't know how long I can manage to be human on 3-5 hours of sleep a day/night.
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Jaz
Death warmed over
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12-21-2014, 10:29 PM
Ick lordy its cold and i need to run to the store... again! Three days in a row dang it!
The explosion thing is exactly how it runs here. I try dealing with attitude and usually try to stay moderately calm. If Dillon is awake and he hears attitude bam he starts getting angry, him getting angry makes me angry the i usually pop and yell at everyone including him. Then everyone settles i dont know if it is a tention release for everyone or what but the kids dont act scared usually they try to cheer me up and will joke or start talking calmly with me about different things.
I wrote ours down a few years ago let me look it up.
Quote:
1 cup cane sugar
1 cup margarine/butter softened
3 TBSP milk
1 tsp vanilla
1 egg
3 cups flour
1 1/2 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp salt
1.combine sugar, margarine, milk, vanilla and egg. Blend well. Lightly spoon flour intomeasuring cup; level off. Add flour, baking powder and salt. Cover with plastic wrap refridgerate for 1 hour.
2. Heat oven to 400° F. On lightly floured surface roll out 1/3 of dough at a time. To 1/8 IN thickness. Keep remaining dough refridgerated. Cut with floured 2 in. Cookie cutters place 1 in apart on ungreased cookie sheet.
3. Bake at 400° F for 5-9 min or until edges are golden brown.
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It is suppose to make 6 dozen but we usually get about 1-2 dozen with our two inch cookie cutters.
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Shadami
the one and only
☆ Penpal Moderator
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12-23-2014, 06:33 AM
hello all my fellow gorgeous mothers <3
(i don't think there are any fathers in here...?)
I just wanted to pop in and say that Mary's speech therapy is finally showing signs of improvement. She's picking up signs again, behaving a little better, and sorta gettings words.
We may finally have an income again at the start of the new year.
and i am finally over my month long sickness.
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Melody
(づ ̄ ³ ̄)...
☆ Penpal
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12-23-2014, 10:24 AM
Sounds like all good things for you Shadami!
Thanks Jazzy! I wonder if I can get Scott to make those with the kids today while I attempt to sleep. I've decided to buy and then take some zzzquil later in an attempt to sleep more than a couple hours here and there... because I think that's the most exhausting. ):
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Shadami
the one and only
☆ Penpal Moderator
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12-23-2014, 03:00 PM
I'm hoping its good things anyways. I just FINALLY paid a bill a month late today. and than the bill that's due tomorrow went poof... I gotta make it come back so i can pay that part too.
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Jaz
Death warmed over
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12-23-2014, 07:34 PM
We've been baking like fiends here. It is so hard to get stuff together when Ellie and Liam are up. It is not helped by the fact that my brother in laws birthday party is tonight... so freaking inconvinient... so we are going freaking nuts but Dillon will need another quick nap, so he is going to lay Ellie down after i finish he hand prints for a gift!
---------- Post added 12-23-2014 at 02:07 PM ----------
Ohhh I got your card Mellie... You guys are so stinking adorable!!!
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Melody
(づ ̄ ³ ̄)...
☆ Penpal
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12-24-2014, 04:27 AM
I'm glad the cards have started arriving! I was really happy with the lay out and all of that of the cards. (:
Scott used the cookie recipe you sent with our star wars cookie cutters. Pretty darn cool! and tasty! I'm a fan. Thanks again for that recipe!
I laid down at 8 am and the kids were... well special. They were marching around the house caroling? Not exactly sleep inducing songs. So I got up around noon and took quite a bit of nyquil. Laid down again around 2 when I was feeling kinda loopy and odd in my limbs, like nyquil does to me, and just sort of laid there for another hour... and then work up at 7. So... this didn't work either. I was gone more than I was there and the entire purpose of trying to sleep was to be there for the kids and get my sleep schedule back on track. The fact that this isn't happening is bugging the hell out of me. :/
oh hey! I just won at chance! woohoo!
Shadami- How did a bill go poof? Was it an electronic one that only showed up for a while and then disappeared after the due date, or was it on the desk and then a child took it? Just curious. lol
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Jaz
Death warmed over
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12-24-2014, 06:42 AM
I seem to be with you on the sleep schedule thing right about now... though mine is self induced to a degree. Last night i had an anxiety attack (self induced it would seem by playing the first night to a silly horror game Dillon is really into), thwn sean sat in his room moaning and crying fir over an hour. Now Sean has night terrors and he usually will moan and cry for 20-30 minutes off and on but waking him is pointless, he remembers none of it and gets irate at you for waking him. But after an hour and after he 3 times woke Liam who was asleep downtairs i started trying to call him down. He didnt come the first 5-6 times he was called and then when he did he was pissed at me for calling him because "i kept him up" what now? Then he said his thraot hurt and i told him to get a drink and i would get the tylonal and he went back to bed... then i sat awake for two more hours cause i renewed my anxiety by thinking about the game /bravery fail.... it didnt help that Dillon of course was gone all night and the cats were messing with pretty much everything so it sounded super creepy in the house too!!! That plus catch up baking trying to get ready for Christmas ugh!
It is midnight now and i dont see an end anytime soon... i have apple pie in the oven for my mom's thing tomorrow and i think 3 or 4 more treats... but first dishes... they are piled i
high and i need more space to cook...
I am also trying desperately to piece together hand made gifts which isnt working out well while trying to balance cooking baking and kids. I am ready to rip my hair out at this point in the game... the good news is that our candy apple jelly appears to have turned out perfectly! I am so so glad last year it didnt solidify and we didnt know because we had done it last minute.
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Chi
Dancing to her own beat..
Penpal
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12-24-2014, 02:10 PM
Hi Shadami!! It's good to see you. I was wondering how you were doing. X3 <3
Mellie, your Christmas card came yesterday. It is now on my fridge. I love it -- thank you!!
We did our tree last night after I got home from work, and we're doing our family tree in about three hours. None of us are showered and dressed. Cole's vacuuming. I just ate breakfast and I'm having a cup of coffee. I need to make a ham dinner, but likely not until closer to the evening as everyone is bringing a bunch of food for people to eat. Yikes!
I made two pies and a pie shell last night. Fudge and chocolate covered cherries are done, as are the sugar cookies. Going to make a mudflat pie soon... then we're officially done with desserts. Yay! I may be proactive and get vegetables into pots in advance of making the ham dinner, but I dunno. I think showering and finding clean clothes is a higher priority. xDDD
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