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Chi
Dancing to her own beat..
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02-07-2015, 09:49 PM
Oh Jaz... I'm so sorry. It must be very bad for you to have an urge to leave. Very, very bad.
I... am going to jump into "fix-it" mode because something you said a while ago bothered me. Bear in mind before I say it, I know that you're both exhausted and stretched beyond your means, and nothing is easy in that state. When mentioning the possibility of you leaving work, you said you weren't sure you wanted to because of how Dillon views you being at work. I bristle when there's an implication of you being a stay-at-home mom and that not being enough. Is that what he's implying? Because, fuck him, if so.
It's bad enough that you've at least considered walking away, and that the stress and depression is quite literally killing you and boxing you into a place where it's hard to see the good things. I think it's time to give an ultimatum. He actively pursues something better or you're quitting your job.
You working is NOT helping your family. Him staying silent and not getting the point that he needs to apply himself is NOT helping your family. It was hard enough to juggle family life while Dillon worked a "regular" full-time job and you focused on the kids. I know I say it all the time but I do NOT know how you guys do it. I couldn't do it. I can barely do what I have going on. I commend you both for keeping on as you have been, because it takes strength. Hell, it takes freaking blood, sweat, and tears to get as far as you have.
If you want to work because YOU want to work, work. If you get a feel-good for getting out and making a paycheck, work. But I just couldn't get that thought out of my head that maybe you're expected to work, and that's... not okay. It's not okay because raising four kids and maintaining a house is just as important as working.
Please hang in there. You know we're here. Don't give up... <3
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Jaz
Death warmed over
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02-07-2015, 09:51 PM
We've gotten in full blown fights over it. Where i tell him he has time to play cards on the computer but not to apply for other jobs... he always tells me he doesnt have time or that i call him away from it, which i do but mostly because he just disappears and doesnt say "hey i am going to..." he's just gone so i start calling and searching... he knows i am struggling but yet he cleaned today and left a basket of dirty laundry in the middle of the room which Liam is now spreading about the room :(
I dont mind doing a party this month i have a friend holding one for her consultant in 5 days though :/
---------- Post added 02-07-2015 at 03:04 PM ----------
I actually confronted Dillon on the matter Chi. He was totally shocked that he came off that way to me. He does mention how he wants a better job so i can quit without worrying but his actions and some of the demeanor he takes when saying i can chose to quit. Also the fact that in 8 months he has heald this job he has put in 0 applications he can say he wants a better job all damn day long but that sure as hell isnt showing me such. I am so tired of hearing I'll try harder when he isnt trying at all...
Part of me not quitting is also because of me. I have little desire to be home at my current rate. I am tired beyond measure of the mental physical and emotional termoil both ends are puttimg on me... the fact that Liam is almost a year and i cant get him to stop biting, i am over dealing with Sean's ADHD, Ellie is outright defiant, and the time michael is actually home he is untolerable as Far as Attitude. I am not sure i am ready to face what last year left me with in these terms. And i know delaying will only make it worse, but here i sit still defiantly not wanting to face the issues ive seen festering. Likewise working is miserable. Everything at home is behind no matter how i try. And i hate working there so much...
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Chi
Dancing to her own beat..
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02-07-2015, 10:11 PM
It sounds like you're in between a rock and a hard place. For real. Work sucks, home sucks. Working gives you an opportunity to experience a different kind of suck before going back to the "home base" suck, yet it all still sucks. Does that make sense?
Can you make a pro/con list, or will it not matter at this point? With the kids' issues, it would take full-time hours to get them where you guys want to be. Like you say, putting it off will make it worse. And if Dillon can't handle basic applications for better jobs, he probably won't be helping with the kids' behavioral issues, which puts the brunt of it on your lap.
It sounds like some soul searching is in order... because it all comes back to what you want to do. It has to be your choice, no one else's, and not influenced by anyone else. Because, if it's not what you want, it's going to make it worse, whatever you choose. :(
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Jaz
Death warmed over
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02-07-2015, 10:30 PM
I dont know that there are pros to staying at work. Inconsistent schedule resulting in inconsistent and unreliable pay, taking care of others children when mine need care of their own. No time or energy for anything. Kids grades falling from my lacking involvement. I honestly cant find pros other then the money i earn is mine...
Dillon asked me todau if i thought steppimg stones would be totally sol if i quit. I do kind of yeah. Do i care really, not so much... i think what truly sucks is ive never heald a job more then 9 months. That says loads about me i think... and its kind of upsetting
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Chi
Dancing to her own beat..
Penpal
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02-07-2015, 11:11 PM
It says nothing about you. You had Michael in your teens, yeah? You have always been juggling, be it school and work, or Michael, school, and work. You've never once had an opportunity to JUST work and focus on you. The fact that you want out of a POS job where policies are broken daily and you see suffering does not make YOU a "bad worker". If Stepping Stones is SOL if you left, so be it. The shambles that place is in has NOTHING, I repeat, nothing to do with you. When you went into it, you very quickly saw it had a bunch of questionable things going on behind closed doors.
If there aren't pros to working, there's no pros other than the money you earn being yours. It is so frustrating to have someone else earn the bread. I hated it when Cole did it for a while, because I felt inept and incompetent, but you know what? Money is money, and it comes and it goes. You have the skill set that's going to allow you to be financially independent when you have the breathing room to get there. Right now there's no breathing room, and you and the kids are suffering. Dillon, too, though I'm pissy at him. :p
You're a fantastic human being. A fantastic mother, a fantastic wife, a fantastic daughter, and a fantastic friend. Don't ever forget that, even when you're not feeling it. This is a bad patch, and nothing's going to change unless changes are made, and no possibility right now is easy. Continue soul searching and see what it is you want. Not what you feel you "should" do, but what you WANT to do. You may find you want to work, you may find you may not. Hell, you may find the only thing you want to do is run away to a secluded island. But you'd be hearing your desires, and that's the first step to getting out of this rut.
We as people can't function if we're doing what everyone else wants us to do.
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Melody
(づ ̄ ³ ̄)...
☆ Penpal
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02-07-2015, 11:16 PM
Not really, to me it says the jobs weren't for you. It seems like a lot of the jobs you have held have been placeholders while you try for better things, or just what you can deal with while you're desperately trying to support your family... and the jobs haven't given a rats ass about supporting your family. They've been wretched jobs. ): It would be far easier to go to a job every day that appreciated you as a person instead of stepped on you as a worker. Appreciation from your employers is something that matters, truly. The managers at the exchange that I loved doing extra things for, and didn't mind staying after for, were the ones that said thank you, and that whatever it was that I'd been requested to do had been done well. The ones that ignored me, asked me to do things and never said thank you... they were the ones that made me want to leave. Gratitude is in low supply in some places... CO seems to be one of them.
The kids are playing together today... but that also means that they're hurting each other today. I think they're each up to twice now that they've been injured by another child. I keep telling them to knock if off, but they won't... they're having fun. Until someone gets hurt. And then 20 minutes later they're all back at it. I give up!
>.> When you do leave, be sure to report their questionable activities to the authorities that be. You've tried to fix what you could and gotten no where... no point in letting the kids that go there continue to suffer for the ineptitude of the place. And... ya know just desserts when it comes to them being so horrible to you.
Last edited by Melody; 02-07-2015 at 11:19 PM..
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Jaz
Death warmed over
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02-08-2015, 03:39 AM
I am so thankful for you guys! I am feeling a smidge better now that all the little ones are asleep. Though Liam is being his usual sleep fuss and kind of irritating me... I hope tomorrow brings more light. It was 80 degrees today and absolutely lovely As far as weather and sun go. The three big ones got a little outdoor play on which did them wonders i think especially Ellie who has been cooped up pretty much all winter too little to go out alone, big enough to know what playing outside is, and mom and dad not wanting anything to do with outside when we arent absolutely forced to. The nice weather changes that we both like spring and summer we are anxious to get some time in the sun...
My night tendencies dont help with matters. When i can get away from Liam at night without passing out i am usually invigorated to plow through cleaning given that i have something to tune out to like a book, movie or music, i really want to plow right now. Ive gotten up once from Liam and he woke less then a minute after i moved. So anyhow being on random sleep schedules varying from fAlling asleep at 9 to 12-1 am when i can get away isnt helping my mood swings i also noticed it is the week prior to that time in the moon lol. It is almost a week to the day prior and i start turning in to a violent angry something or another. I have never been this bad even as a teenager. What the heck?
I should try to sneak away again...
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Chi
Dancing to her own beat..
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02-08-2015, 01:03 PM
Without sleep, I turn into a horrible human being. No joke, no exaggeration. It's so important to get enough sleep. So, so, so important. And I don't do it as I should. Terra is often asleep by 6:30pm, so depending on what's going on, I either do work (paperwork) or I RP or game. I had been doing well setting a 10:00pm bedtime for myself, but the past few days it's been 1:00-2:00am. With my iron this low, I am dead. I did go to sleep before midnight last night, but I still need to try harder. Escapism is lovely though, and I sometimes cling to it.
I forgot to tell you guys that I'm meeting with her therapist on Wednesday. Transporting her to school has helped some, but she's still struggling. I hadn't realized she's not listening well to other adults there. And she is very much controlling of her friends. However, she, too, is being controlled. A week or so ago she asked if she could give a coloring book to one of her friends. It was a coloring book that she had an extra of. She didn't "need" two, so why not share, right? It made sense to me. Before allowing her, we discussed friends and how it's okay to give so long as the friend isn't asking in that, "Do it or we're not really friends!" sort of way. She assured me she wanted to do it.
Now, last week? Last week she wanted to pack another, only this time she said it was because she needed to be friends with this person. We had another talk, but she became extremely disgruntled, screaming at us for how we never let her do anything, how we always wreck her day, and that it's hers so she should get to choose what to do with it. (Side note: I become frightened because she's acting just like one of my clients... the wicked mood swings. She's FOUR! Four-year-olds shouldn't have that kind of mouth or rationalizing, should they? I don't know. She's my only kid.)
Anyway, we were tired, and after saying again that real friends don't bully us into giving them things, she changed stories and said she wanted to. She took the book.
Cole took her that morning, came home, and he told me he saw the therapist for the first time. Because Cole was cranky and "sick", when the therapist asked if he had a moment, HE SAID NO. He completely blew the therapist off!! Rarely do I scold him like a child, but I asked what in the fuck was he thinking? How could he ignore him? It says nothing to a therapist other than, "No, sorry, not an engaged parent! Fix my kid but nothing's my fault!" Uhhh. Everything wrong with her is our fault. He said he didn't want to meet without me. I asked why, when I handled the other meetings and scheduling completely on my own. No, it's not fun. It really freaking sucks to sit in a room of judgmental people thinking they know you're a shitty parent because your kid is screwed up, when they don't know the full picture.
It's why I try my goddamned hardest to keep parents supported in the work I do, because we ALL try our best, dammit. I ALWAYS put my parents first, because they know their kids most! Raugh.
Anyway, I told the therapist about the book issue. He later called when he had Terra in session and said he was planning on getting the book back. Terra wouldn't talk to me about it later. So there's that piece of growth starting. I'm disheartened. And, I suppose, when I get disheartened I get quiet. I realized I hadn't actually posted in a while. I guess that would be why.
Everyone keeps asking if she has a sibling, or if she ever will, because some of her issues will be solved by having to share us. Well, does someone want to give me the money to keep our home while I quit work? Or grow a healthy baby for me? I'm freaking tapped out. If life were easier, I would have another baby in a heartbeat. Life WILL be easier someday. But not right now. It will likely be easier six months from now.
Another issue I've been having is Cole whining about money. Things we "need", though we don't necessarily "need". It's very easy for me to say we don't "need" a snowblower, because I'm not shoveling. You guys know we've had something like 90" of snow in the past two weeks, and more is coming today. But what are we supposed to do? Throw another thousand on the credit card? I told him we're never going to get out of debt if we keep buying everything in sight.
Also, I need to do my documentation for my updated IBR, which is due soon. I should probably do that tonight. I just haven't. I'll also nag him to do the taxes, to compile everything and see if he can schedule an appointment online. He will avoid anything involving an actual phone call until I either nag him like a harpy, or until he has no choice, like an actual due date. Bah.
Today's going to be interesting. I have a couple hours before I leave for work. I am hoping the snow holds off until late tonight. If not, I'm going to be driving home in a blizzard. It makes me nervous... but I have no choice. I'm not going to make productivity, and I'm not being given understanding from work. I am pretty sure I won't get punitive measures, but I won't get financial backing, if that makes sense. It would be cruel to fire someone, more so when I almost got in an accident the day before yesterday (seriously close, with a client with me). I know they won't fire me. But I can't lose $700 right now, period.
>(
*drinks coffee and grumps*
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Melody
(づ ̄ ³ ̄)...
☆ Penpal
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02-08-2015, 02:00 PM
Sleep... that's something we must all be in short supply of right now. i've taken to getting short naps at work because I'm so tapped out from home. The kids get irritated at me when I fall asleep at 7...because they don't get home until 3, and I've been having a very hard time falling asleep lately when I get home from work. When I just get home, I'm exhausted and want nothing more than to take a bath and crawl into bed. But Scotts normally in the bathroom, and for fucks sake I don't want to share my bath. I want it to be MINE... but he always wants to join if he's home and it's becoming a thorn in my side. So I stay up and get the kids ready while he gets ready and then I end up staying up until 8... and then I can't sleep. I'm not tired. At all. I stay up until like noon, and get cleaning, and mailing and random other "this needs to be done" stuff done. (housing, taxes etc...) It was worse while he was on leave because then I wouldn't get any break from him. >.> I adore him, but I think I've been dealing with a husband overdose and I need him to just go away for a bit and leave me some alone time that doesn't happen while I'm at work. Anyway, so I'm exhausted and get maybe 2 hours of sleep before they get home from school.. then we do homework, and their extra cirriculars... and then I pass out. And they're mad because I'm "always sleeping" -_- No, I'm always on the brink of exhaustion.
June can't come fast enough.
I need to learn to sleep in my bed again, and how to share my bed with my husband. During the day when I do sleep I'm sprawled across the bed... when he's there I get like a foot of space and have to sleep on my side and wake up at 3 AM uncomfortable, too warm, and with no room to stretch.
I hope your meeting with the therapist goes well Chi. Terra is such a mature child it's crazy to realize that she's only 4! I'm not sure any of my kids could come up with an argument and logic like that! She's clearly a product of her parents, and I don't feel it's right to say that having a sibling would fix these things... because it would just be one more thing that she fights against and has issues with... home wouldn't be the safe haven that it is would it? Clearly, I'm not a therapist... but I know Kura had a lot of issues when the twins came home. Going from Mommy and Daddy are mine, to I have to share, was a huge, huge thing for her. And while I think she loves the twins now... there were a good couple of years when parenting felt like fending off an army that was trying to kill my youngest. She spent quite a bit of time sick because she'd scream herself hoarse. It was a hard time in my household. </3
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Chi
Dancing to her own beat..
Penpal
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02-08-2015, 02:29 PM
The sibling thing is something she wants, too. She's lonely. And what you described about Scott is how I sometimes feel about Cole and Terra combined. I have a higher tolerance for Terra, but again it goes back to me going without sleep so that I can get "me time". I love the nights Cole's at work. I feel terrible for saying it, but it's true. Because I'm alone, and I love being alone. I love being with him too, but 24/7 isn't what I want. It takes him longer to get to that place, but it does occasionally happen!
Terra loves to love, and she's so ridiculously good with babies and toddlers. She would be an asset to having a second child, more so if I involve her in the process (appointments, clothes, etc.). But it's just not financially feasible right now. And my iron counts? Yeah, I need to get my own reserves boosted.
She would be at LEAST five years old by the time a sibling rolled around, almost six. I think developmentally she'd be better equipped to handle the "holy shit, I have to share you?" thing, but I never know with her. She could be just like Kura was while she transitioned into having siblings.
All I know is, I cannot give this kid all the attention she wants. She's always been needy, always. You could play with her 24/7 from the time she woke to the time she slept, and it wouldn't be enough. This egocentric thing isn't tapering when we, you know, ask her to play independently because we need a breather. A sibling may force it. She's going to struggle as an adult if she can't grasp that everyone isn't here to cater to her and her alone. ;_;
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Jaz
Death warmed over
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02-08-2015, 03:50 PM
I reflect both of your sentiments as far as husbands and beds. I like the nights Dillon is gone. They are the only nights I go to bed at a decent time because I am not stressing to try to spend the little bit of time over lap between work and sleep where we see each other... I actually just spazzed at everyone because Liam is walking around the living room and everytime he is in something he shouldn't be the person grabbing him will put him on me or point him towards me.... Ughhhh I love the boy but he's sharp and slimey and ALWAYS ATTACHED TO ME! when he isn't attached and not screaming please don't bring him to me!!!!
I don't believe a sibling will fix things. While yes a sibling teaches sharing and all those good things it is also another demand on your attention. Seriously... I don't like the "bring another kid into the world it will fix your issues" nonsense. More kids means more issues... Want to know a fact I have encountered in my own life? Only children do hang on to a minor issue with sharing. But as adults they can be done of the most generous and caring! In my experience people who have siblings are more likely to horde specific things to themselves like money or foods (I am a sweet hoarder it is the hardest thing for me to share things I like to eat with the kids) .... Both senerios offer the same issues. Introducing a child at any point in time I think also presents issues of children realizing crap changed and they will buck against it. Michael is an older sibling to six siblings and when Liam was born we still started seeing issues in fact that was when we sought professional help for the kids. Less then a month after Liam was born. All the big kids are 3.5 almost 4 years older then their sibling (3 years and 8 or 9 months to be exact for both older boys) they regressed and faces behavior problems too. Ellie is 26 months older then Liam I think and she is actually the most adapted. She still regressed port training went to the toilet literally. She started throwing food not listening we are still facing some of these issues as we weren't able to adjust them as they showed up. But she is the least "hateful" of having a sibling invade her space and had the least issues there in. She is also my little mini mama.
Terra is super smart! Well advanced for what a four year old only child normally is. Ellie argues certain things like you describe but not because she understands how she is arguing she does it because her 6 and 10 year old brothers do so when they are arguing. So she hears one of them say "you never listen" and she will fight with me and say the same things.
I wanted to say something else but I am drawing a blank... Anyhow its 9 I should finish my coffee shower and dress I think
---------- Post added 02-08-2015 at 08:52 AM ----------
Oh I was going to say, I'll carry a baby for you chi. I miss being pregnant but I don't miss new or craziness. Just saying. Lol that doesn't by any means solve the financial thing but yeah lol
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Melody
(づ ̄ ³ ̄)...
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02-08-2015, 04:27 PM
Kura loved the idea of babies... but not when they actually showed up. We tried really hard to prepare her... but then she was only like 20 months old when they were born, so she was really young to lose her only child status. On the other hand, since they're all so close in age now they do have a lot in common and always have each other to play with, and help each other with homework. The twins are super good at math because Kura has been teaching them... it's really quite endearing. But yeah... doesn't change the hardships we all had at the beginning.
So I think I mentioned on facebook the blizzard that Kodiak got last night. We had a good foot of snow, more where the wind has piled it up. it's all loose and fluffy... but still our car was having issues getting past it. Scott got two houses down, and the snow stopped the car dead. he couldn't move. So he came back and got a shovel, and aaron noticed, so we got dressed to go out and help. It was sooo cold! And the wind was blowing so every shovelful would end up with some of it blowing back into our faces... and my hat kept blowing off! I know I shouldn't complain or anything because there are places far worse off... but he has to be into work by a specific time for fuel samples and whatever other maintenance the helos need in case of a search and rescue case... and he ended up being late because the plows don't come through until late on the weekends because the base doesn't want to pay them extra for off hours work. :/ Well their lack of coming through for off hours work could mean lives! Don't they understand?? Ugh. Anyway. It irritated me. I've been looking forward to the snow... but why couldn't it show up on a day when I had nothing to do?
Also today is supposed to be scout sunday, but I'm not sure we'll be able to make it as the church it's at is in town and we're kinda stranded on base! Yikes! I guess we could always try going to the church on base...?
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Jaz
Death warmed over
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02-09-2015, 02:22 AM
Did you go to the base??
Five more months till cali! Lol. Snow newvsr shows up convienently for me the past 3 times i have done a field trip for the daycare driving the moster van, i have had either icy roads (called off sick yay stomach flu) snow or starting to snow... i loathe driving in the snow. Loathe!!!!!! I dont like driving to work much less driving a massive vehicle with tons of kids in it... i am so thankful it is nice right now!!!
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Melody
(づ ̄ ³ ̄)...
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02-09-2015, 01:03 PM
We did not.Aaron seemed to have forgotten about it and the idea of walking with the kids along unplowed roads and sidewalks wasn't appealing. The snow was at least up to their knees... totally not happening. I asked a couple of friends to take him with them but they didn't get back to me until after they had already gotten to church... never mind that I messaged them before their cars left...but whatever. No biggie.it's just a patch and it's not like we were going for any reason other than the patch...lol
My back and wrist are in pain from yesterday's shoveling. I'm getting old!
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Jaz
Death warmed over
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02-09-2015, 09:47 PM
Ugh, i am no good At this soul searching thing. Today my boss tells me that she found someone who she thinks would be a great teacher for the infant room... she was fired from the same center i was months before i was for he ex blowing up our school van... uhmmm yeah.... sooo... hopefully that drama is over.i was pissy that she said i had no interest though, its not no interest it was never offered for me to express interest, and well i am not desperate so i am not going to beg. But then i kind of started expressing interest in it but talking myself back and forth, its 9-5 with half an hour break yadda yadda no more then that to pump blah blah the big boys need to be picked up at 3 so id need to leave at 2:45 at the latest.... eventually i just let it drop and focused on my job. But on the way home i thought i could so do it if dillon got a 6-10 job i could drop off the kids and he can pick them up..... and i started trying to justify taking it... then i dont know... i really dont want to... i am pretty over working :/
i am also not sure what is up with Liam but he didnt sleep all night so my mind isnt working on all its cilinders. I am so exhausted... i swear he knows when i am ggoing to work he ONLY does this when i work the next day... he also screamed nonstop at daycare and he just i dont know he was only qiiet when he was sleeping or when i was in the nap room pumping with him. Then he was happy but the second he realized i had ledleft he started screaming again... hours of screaming i feel sick still from it...
I think this whole pushing 30 thing is for the birds... i use to be fine on one night of no sleep now i feel like death warmed over. and the aches ugh the aches and pains...
---------- Post added 02-09-2015 at 04:03 PM ----------
The Mother Accused of Abandoning Her Baby and Husband Has Gives Her Side of the Story - IAmNotTheBabysitterIAmNotTheBabysitter
Did you see this Mellie... the mom's side of the story... i think i would have likely made the same discision Under her circimstances...
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Melody
(づ ̄ ³ ̄)...
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02-09-2015, 11:34 PM
What a Homeland Security Shutdown Would Look Like - NBC News
You know what's NOT great about 85% of a work force being deemed essential and needing to go to work whether or not they get paid... being a member of a family where one of your main bread winners is deemed essential so they still have to go to work even though they won't be paid. And they can't NOT work, because heaven knows we all understand the importance of TSA checking people going onto airplanes, Border Patrol still patrolling the borders and the Coast Guard going out there and saving lives. None of that is stuff I want stopped (well, I could go with out the full body scans from TSA...) But anyway. So as of the 27th my husband may be working for free. I'm kinda freaking out. Yes, when they do decide on a budget he will get back pay... but will that stop companies from dinging me for late payments? No. Even if I call all of them, their response will be "you should have a 3 month safety net saved up" yeah, in theory we should. But we've had one freaking crisis after another to drain our savings and I just don't have that safety net! I'm trying really freaking hard to not go insane about it... but it's really freaking hard. </3 ugh.
If you worked in the baby room would you get to be with Liam? That may help him a bit... but otherwise I don't think it would be worth it. As nice as a set schedule would be, you'd still have the pumping issue, and the management issue and neither of those seem to be going away so it wouldn't be worth your while to beg for. Did you get your application in for the breastfeeding thing? (lack of sleep makes my brain go byebye)
Thanks for the article! I found it totally informative (and ya know, supportive of my views, which I always appreciate). lol
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Jaz
Death warmed over
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02-10-2015, 12:12 AM
Yeah I like being right LOL... So I imagine most people do...
and OMG Mellie... Hang in there. This whole government nonsense shutting down and making people work for free shit is SHIT!!! I say that the heads of these departments should be the ones taking the pay cut. See how they like their maids flipping them the bird and leaving for not being paid. >.> They more then likely could afford the cut.
Yeah Liam would be in my room. But i don't know the boss heemmmed and hawed about it saying I can't nurse at will which is understandable and I can't pump more then once but whatever... I am pretty over it... I have tried 3 times to finish my application for this WIC thing and it calls for the entire last 7 years of employment. So I have technically would have been unemployed 7 years as of this month. (Aside from you know having a job now) so do I only put one job down or do I put the babysitting jobs I did for my SIL...?
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Melody
(づ ̄ ³ ̄)...
☆ Penpal
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02-10-2015, 12:53 PM
I don't know that the babysitting would count. But then I'm no expert on resume writing.I really wish periods of unemployment weren't a deterrent for employers. Luckily you do have the job now so that's something. Clearly anyone applying for a breastfeeding position should have experience in the matter and there for have children right? Nothing wrong with taking some time to raise your children the best you could. But then I hear that blog only does having children scare prospective employers...but being married doors as well. At least as far as California is concerned. ...I don't want to move anymore. ):
Re: the shut down its a huge pain in the ass. So I've switched into conservation mode. No more groceries until it's necessary... and I'll be buying things with the cash I have on hand (fresh produce) well also be attempting to double down on the bread business...still hoping it won't happen but it's better to be frugal now than kick myself later right? And with any luck the tax return will save our butt if it comes down to it... ugh. Money is such a pain in the ass!
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Melody
(づ ̄ ³ ̄)...
☆ Penpal
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02-11-2015, 12:45 PM
So remember how I just did this loan application thing and wanted to kill by the time it was over? The last that I did it with specialized in va loans. Well Scott and I looked into this program called "homes for hero's" that gives you a percent back if you use their agents and stuff to buy a house. It's for military, teachers, firemen, doctors, etc. So a really cool thing... except I have too go through the mind numbing application process... AGAIN. I don't want to. I'm not sure it's worth it. We would still get a percentage back from the actual sale of the house because we're going through one of their realtors...but it wouldn't be as much. I hate the idea of not doing everything I can for my family financially right now... but I'm about brought to tears thinking about going and finding all this information and account numbers and all the other nonsense again. );
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Jaz
Death warmed over
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02-12-2015, 04:00 AM
What's the time limit? Don't do it right away if you can put it off a week guilt catalyst sounds like terrible advice) but then kind of build yourself up to doing it. Or goal out a page or two at a time so it is only minor brain numbing in one sitting. That way you are doing what is best for your family but not killing yourself in doing so.
I wish you all the luck and sent you all the good feelings and vibes over the whole government nonsense...
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Melody
(づ ̄ ³ ̄)...
☆ Penpal
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02-12-2015, 04:56 AM
I don't know that there is a time limit. Speaking with the realtor most sellers want to close within 30 to 45 days... and since we already know we're preapproved for a specific amount we know what we can look at... I just need to redo it. But there shouldn't be a time limit as there's plenty of time before we even think about buying a house still. I think I'll do just that. Take a week off and go back to it later.
I sent the lender (loan officer? whatever he's called) the info for the first lady that I did it with and was like here, get it from her, but apparently that's not allowed? *eye roll*
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Jaz
Death warmed over
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02-12-2015, 04:24 PM
Worth a try though lol. I hate when the left hand has no clue what the right is doing....
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Melody
(づ ̄ ³ ̄)...
☆ Penpal
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02-12-2015, 05:35 PM
I went through another 15 houses last night. And rejected most of them. >.> I'm feeling harsh. But none of them looked to be a good fit for me. Ya know? I still have 17 more to sift through... then I want to go back through the 30 something possibles and cut that list in half. But I don't think I'll get around to that portion today. Mostly because she's still sending me NEW LISTINGS. Ain't nobody got time for that! I should be happy, but whenever I get an email I just kinda cringe thinking about the whole clicking through pictures thing and figuring out what angle they were taken at so I can get a decent idea of the spacial size of the room. then looking up school districts and charter schools... it's too much for one person! And my husband wants no part of it until we're actually down there looking at houses. grrrr
I should really go to bed so that I'm up for my launch party tonight. @ [email protected]
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Jaz
Death warmed over
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02-13-2015, 07:55 AM
I am kicking myself in the most angry upset way. I have ruin it of time for getting my application done and in. I intended to do it yesterday but I don't know what happened. Time slipped through my fingers and I completely spaced it until I was at our gaming session and got a notice that they are due tomorrow by 3pm. I am so so so so mad at myself. But between Liam's flat aversion to sleeping EVER and normal run around and work and life I never got the application finished. And there is a 30 minute test involved when you turn in the application. I am depressed by the circumstances, Liam had radar for these things its like he knew this was the optimal week to make sleeping impossible to maximize the damage it could do to me emotionally...
Husbands can be such a pain. Tell him must help or your buying him a crack house for him to live in!
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Melody
(づ ̄ ³ ̄)...
☆ Penpal
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02-13-2015, 11:56 AM
he's of the opinion I'm wasting my time because all the houses I'm looking at will be gone by the time we get there. *sigh* he may be right..but I still think it's worth looking into each neighborhood and all that. Getting a feel for not just what's out there but what sort of places they're in.
Oh no! Do you think you'll have time to take care of the application? Can Dillon take the kids for a bit so you can do it? If the older ones have school can you just put Liam in some sort of boundaries area. Even if he's crying just to get the space you need to fill it out and everything. What about having your sister or as a last resort even your mom take the younger ones for a bit?
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