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Bribble
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#1
Old 06-05-2007, 03:05 AM

I just wrote this, I'd like some feedback :D

Tell me a story, lead me away
Let me hear all that I want you to say
Ask me a question, smirk as I squirm
'No, I can't tell you', but please remain firm
Read me a poem, wind in the reeds
The sun can't get through the mad tangle of weeds

I'm waiting, just waiting for reasons to write
Reasons to laugh, cry, sing, blush and fight
'She's a nut, but we love her' Is that what I've got?
Do I really need more than soft levels of thought?

Take it easy and listen, the day is still light
The stars will be bright when the clouds clear tonight

Sun
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#2
Old 06-05-2007, 01:13 PM

I think its very nice. I especialy like the last two lines.

Bribble
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#3
Old 06-06-2007, 02:49 AM

Thank you

Harvard Mint
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#4
Old 06-07-2007, 03:13 AM

I LOVE IT!! you are a natural. much better than me.

Bribble
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#5
Old 06-07-2007, 12:33 PM

Yay, thank you so much for saying that :oops:

 


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