Verbal, "taking things away" or physical punishment? Now, when I say verbal punishment I don't mean cursing out your child, or calling them an idiot. Nothing like that. An example of what I mean would be telling them "No. Stop that." Basically, telling them no to do something. Physical being smacking them on the bum if they do something that they shouldn't do. "Taking things away" being punishing the child by taking away a favourite toy if they do something bad.

There are often parents who use one of these methods, that I've noticed. Or parents that simply just neglect their children and leave them to do what they want.

I, personally, believe that all of these methods should be used in child rearing. Like levels, you know? Because a child will not learn not to do something unless there is some sort of punishment. In fact, up until about the age of 2, most children don't even understand what the word "No" means.

So, I ask you, what is your opinion on the matter?

My parents never punish me physically, and i turned out just fine. I feel if you raise your child right, and learn to deal with situations without throwing a tantrum, things should be fine.

We have to remember, just cause your a parent, doesn't mean you're always right or mature in anyway. If you feel that hitting your child is the only way they can come to understand what you're saying, then perhaps having a child wasn't the best idea.

Originally Posted by Seven

My parents never punish me physically, and i turned out just fine. I feel if you raise your child right, and learn to deal with situations without throwing a tantrum, things should be fine.

We have to remember, just cause your a parent, doesn't mean you're always right or mature in anyway. If you feel that hitting your child is the only way they can come to understand what you're saying, then perhaps having a child wasn't the best idea.

I believe that hitting should only be used as a last resort. Take myself, for example. My parents hit me when I did really stupid stuff. And I know damn well that I deserved it. Even when I wasn't a child, but a teenager, I got smacked in the face a couple of times, and I deserved it.

Edit: Everyone is different. One way of reprimanding doesn't work for every child. It really depends on their child's personality.

I feel true dicipline depends on the envirnonment in which a child is raised, and on the child. Some children may respond well to verbal reprimands, whilst others require more tangible incentives, such as removing toys, grounding, etc.
However, i don't think smacking children is a good answer, maybe if nothing else works, but perhpas the parents should question what happened along the line as to why that is the case.

Negative and Positive reinforcement.

Negative: Taking away something bad for good behavior or adding more bad for bad behavior. Example: lessening regular chores or adding to regular chores.

Positive: Adding something good for good behavior or taking away good for bad behavior. Example: Extending curfew an hour; constricting curfew an hour.

Reinforcement rewards are not tangible items. Reinforcement does not use physical punishment.

Operant conditioning FTW.

• This may sound weird, but I'm all against the 'Don't get too late for class' kind of rules.
  Instead of saying 'Don't touch that!', why not say 'you might get hurt if you touch that, so it better if you keep away from it'?
  People are always so.. negative! Try to warn your child in a positive way.
  Children shouldn't be hit hard. Maybe a little tick on the hand or something, but no slaps or something.
  A child should be able to trust his parents. It might seem to be the only way to connect with the child, but it has a negative effect too.
  
  "If you're smart, you get into class in time." C:

As for physical punishment, I was only spanked once or twice as a child, but my hand got batted away from many a thing they didn't want me to touch. I probably won't spank my kids but I will certainly engage in hand-batting.

For the most part, though, I like the reinforcement plans. Good behavior? Congrats, now we get to go out for ice cream. Bad behavior? Congrats, now you get to do the dishes for a week. And stricter punishments/rewards based on severity of actions, of course.

Originally Posted by Username Censored

• This may sound weird, but I'm all against the 'Don't get too late for class' kind of rules.
  Instead of saying 'Don't touch that!', why not say 'you might get hurt if you touch that, so it better if you keep away from it'?
  People are always so.. negative! Try to warn your child in a positive way.
  Children shouldn't be hit hard. Maybe a little tick on the hand or something, but no slaps or something.
  A child should be able to trust his parents. It might seem to be the only way to connect with the child, but it has a negative effect too.
  
  "If you're smart, you get into class in time." C:

Really? I'm really close to my parents. Moreso than anyone I've ever known. I grew up pretty well, in my opinion.

If i was putting a child of mine right, i would tell them, as Username Censored said, why they should leave something alnoe. If they refused, i'd smack them, yes. I belive that it's part of learning and disipline that is essential for young children.

I really couldnt elaborate more on what i would do, as i dont have to be in that situation, having no children. I daresay my views might change should i ever have one.

First off, lets rule out that anything that is said is not connected to child abuse in any manner. When we say spanking it's not the same as beating your child until they are black and blue. When we say yelling, it's not cursing them out and degrading them.

Your child will respond to different forms of punishment. You could spank my brother until you were to tired to move and he'd continue to laugh at you, put his butt in the time-out chair and the entire world would be over for him. Spank me, or after awhile threaten to give me a spanking and I corrected that behavior in an instant. Whereas if you grounded me, or put me in time-out I'd just day dream and be in heaven.

You have to figure out what works, and if that involves expirementing so be it. If you get it right on the first try, congradulations.

Spanking your child won't 'damage' them, they won't think it's ok to hit if you do it right. You can't just smack your kid and think they realize what was wrong, you also have to tell them why they are getting that punishment. And, you never spank when angry, or really discipline them at all while you are angry. That's where the sending them to their room comes in, they think it's their punishment, it's really your cool-down time. Parents have a tool, they need to use it.

Also, spanking your child doesn't make you a bad parent. It just means you are utilizing a tool that a child will respond to. It's that kind of thinking that makes it hard to parent a child, everyone wants to scream child abuse or 'family issues'. Sure, bog down social services with unwarrented reports. Like I said before, children react differently to different forms. Figure it out, use it. That child doesn't need spanked, good. Use what works.

Let's face it, if your child runs out into the middle of the street, where they could very well get hit by a car, you're NOT going to respond gracefully to the situation. Your child's life is in danger, you better have a shred of panic in you. You're not going to calmly walk out to them, pick them up and say "Now, honey you can't do that because it's dangerous". You're going to run, grab them, pull them out and probably yell something along the lines "OMG NO". Yeah, after their safe and sound and back into the yard you'll tell them why that's bad, and hopefully soon they'll be old enough to grasp the concept of looking both ways and never going out there without an adult, but until them a little fear will do them good.

I completely agree with Pink in every way. XD

There are different ways to raise your child. Some children respond to different methods than others. If my mom had just told me 'no' or 'stop that' when i was a kid i would have just looked at her and laugh while i was still doing it. So i got my fair share of spankings and i turned out just fine.

I believe there is a limit to some things. As far as physical punishment: I think that open handed spanking on the bottom or smacks on the hand for their hands being into stuff that could be potentially dangerous to them is fine, but when you're smacking your kid in the stomach or arms or face or even punching them that is far beyond acceptable. It's unnessicary and damaging to your child. I also belive that a small amount of soap on the tongue for inproper language is not as bad as people make it out to be. but if you're shoving a bar down your your child's throat or a bottle into their mouth and pouring it in. you can potentially be causing a health issue for your child and that is unacceptable.

As far as verbal scolding goes, i think that it's okay to tell your kid no or tell them stop or they'll be punished, but as far as calling them names or telling them their stupid it is not acceptable.

There are non-violent ways of dealing with children such as reward and punishment methods. Such as when a child doesn't do something they are supposed to, they are not allowed to do something they like to do. when a child realizes that when they do something bad something good will be taken away. Then they will reverse the behavior.

You can generally get a child to behave if you tell them the reward they will get for doing something before they do it. Such as, if you want them to pick up their toys, you could say something like: If you pick up your toys real fast we'll go play a game at the park! or something that the child is interested in.

So it really just depends on the child and the parent to which some choose.

There are some children who don't respond to anything, which is most of the time those that have disorders such as A.D.D or A.D.H.D and often recieve the worst attention from their parents because the parent doesn't know their child has it and mistakes it for their child acting out to get attention. I think that mistake is made alot.

Either way there are limits to all kinds of punishment.

Yeah, my younger brother has ADHD. He is so annoying. D:

Anyways, he never got hit, or anything. But he constantly ruined stuff when he was younger, and even now. Now that he's 18, he's not as bad, but when he was younger, God he was evil. Not to mention that he refused to take his medicine. And my brother lived with my dad when my parents seperated (I stayed with my mom) and my dad was hardly ever home because he had to work constantly...

So, because of that, and even after my dad got a less-demanding job, he's been doing whatever he wants since before he started High School. It's pretty sad. ]:

It is sad lol, i know what you mean though. I used to babysit for a family that had an A.d.h.d kid. It was one of the hardest babysitting jobs ever. He kept trying to get out of the house and run away. So i had to keep a constant eye on him. I mean not that you wouldn't anyway babysitting, but i mean if you even blinked he'd be gone xD.

XD Yeah I know what you mean.

Yeah, i was amazed i made it through babysitting that kid for one day x.x And his parents did everything acceptable and possible to discipline him, but nothing worked. @[email protected]

Yeah. D:

It's really hard. The only real way you can get them to calm down is to give them something hard to do, or keep them busy somehow. My brother would obsess over Kinex. Building stuff with them. It was amazing, because he'd instantly calm down and work on it for hours.

hmm maybe they should try that with him. maybe concentrating on something would help him.

Yeah. Just give them something interesting to do that will keep them focused, and they're completely calm. :3

They're often very smart, too. It's just that they can't concentrate, because it's so boring to them. My brother did terrible in school until they put him in higher classes, then he did really well.

That's true. My friend holly made me envious with how smart she is, but she has adhd. sometimes she would break down to me because she'd get so frustrated because she has a hard time keeping up, but man she is so creative and an excellete author too. her passion is for writing. she amazes me.

Yeah, I think it's because when they find something to concentrate on, they put everything into it.

That's true. I wish i had known to come up with something like that when i was babysitting. It would have been alot easier. Lol

Haha, well now you know, in case you have to baby sit a kid with ADHD in the future. Or maybe have your own? O:

Beat them with whatever object is handy. That way they don't associate specific objects with punishment. Every household item can be a weapon against them, anything solid could be implemented in their upcoming brand of schooling.

Realistically, physical punishment isn't bad - however there is a firm distinction between child abuse and physical punishment. Getting spanked on the behind isn't abuse unless you're wailing on the kid with a meat tenderizer. Slapping a child on the mouth for saying a bad word isn't backhanding them so they go flying into the fountain. Obviously practice restraint on any sort of physical reprimand, but some people are so worried about being called a child abuser their kids get close to no discipline.

You can only say "no Johnny!" so many times before they ignore it.

Originally Posted by BE

Beat them with whatever object is handy. That way they don't associate specific objects with punishment. Every household item can be a weapon against them, anything solid could be implemented in their upcoming brand of schooling.

Realistically, physical punishment isn't bad - however there is a firm distinction between child abuse and physical punishment. Getting spanked on the behind isn't abuse unless you're wailing on the kid with a meat tenderizer. Slapping a child on the mouth for saying a bad word isn't backhanding them so they go flying into the fountain. Obviously practice restraint on any sort of physical reprimand, but some people are so worried about being called a child abuser their kids get close to no discipline.

You can only say "no Johnny!" so many times before they ignore it.

Is not bad? How can it not be bad? It is detrimental to the health, safety and livelyhood of children and I do not see how you a female could propose such a thing. In the state of Utah slapping a child is assault and doing a crime like that to the detriment of children is not good.