Ok. So there's this guy. We have had a lot of ups and downs over the years. First I found him interesting, then I hated him, then I resented him, then he was my best friend, then he hated me, then he treated me like shit and destroyed every drop of self-esteem in my body, then he told me to never speak to him again.

I was just starting to get over all of this and move on with my life when all of a sudden...

HE SHOWS UP AT MY HOUSE AND SAYS HE WANTS TO BE FRIENDS AGAIN.

He said something about how I've seemed really sad lately and the fact that when I see him I quickly look away and he's sorry for everything he did...

But I don't trust him. I don't trust him AT ALL. I just know he has some sort of ulterior motive, and there's a huge part of me that believes that he's only talking to me because he wants his verbal punching bag back (note that I said "verbal punching bag"... don't worry guys, he hasn't been hurting me physically). There's one part of me that feels sympathy for him, and another that HATES him. There's still a small part that thinks maybe this time things can be peaceful once and for all. There's a part of me that wishes he was never there in the first place, and another that wishes for his advice and guidance whenever I reach some sort of dilemma. I love him. I hate him. I want to kill him. I want to save him. I want to protect him. I want to leave him with absolutely nothing to live on. I wish he was with me. I wish he had never been born.

So anyway... WHAT DO I DO?

Sounds like a case of Burnt toast.
He is giving you complete burnt toast. Dx
Ick.

Burnt Toast:
When someone treats you badly; saying mean stuff to you, lying to you, never really being there exc. They will feed you this Nummy toast; compliments, love, care, good feelings, but this is very rare, so you stay around thinking that he will give you more nummy toast but all you get is more and more burnt toast. D:

I say, ditch him.
He fucked up your life already, you don't need to be treated like shit anymore. I don't think things will get better at all.
It might seem nice for the first few weeks but chances are, he will start treating you like shit, just like he did before.

Just say "Thanks for the offer but your an asshole. *slams door*" :o

No girl should be ever treated like this.
So you should never accept this type of 'friendship' or whatever you want to call it.

I say ditch him for good, work on yourself to be the best person that you can be and then make good friends who will treat you the way that you need and deserve to be treated. I had a friend like that and I know I am better without him. He was a user and I think always will be which is really sad but with people like that its better to be without.

@Nitemare: Burnt Toast... yep, that sounds exactly like the way things have been going for the past year. Very well put.

@Whoopdidoodoo: Yeah, one of the main reasons I stayed near him all that time was that I was hoping to change him or help him be a better person (Yep, I can be that naive), but now I know there's really nothing anyone can do.

btw UPDATE:

STUPID FRICKING FRICK CALLED ME AT FRICKING 4:30 IN THE FRICKING MORNING AND NOW I'M FRICKING TIRED. D< Gaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh.

all the more reason to ditch him for good. he doesn't care about you and really isn't worth your time <3

wow...i really really wish my ex best friend wouldve come to my house offering to be friends again..i think you should be friends again..even if it doesnt work out..well atleast you'd have had more time with him :)

You LEAVE! AVOID HIM LIKE THE PLAGUE! People like that are not worth your tears and you know he'll make you cry again. And FYI verbal punching bags all too easily loose the verbal part -experiance talking here- Make him prove that he's serious if he wants to be your friend, trust has to be earnt back and verbal abuse is not to be taken lightly, it's often more painful than physical abuse.

My uncle verbally abused my aunt to the point where no one could stand her, she hated herself so much and hated everyone else. She left him and became nice again.

My ex verbally abuse me before it turned into something more physical. And I felt worse about the verbal than the rest.

If he's serious he won't mind proving it to you.

No. No. Don't talk to him.
There are plenty of other people out there you can be friends with that haven't been so mean to you before. You can find someone 1000x better than he ever was.
If you just let him be your friend again, he'll see that he can be as mean to you as he wants, but you'll take him back eventually. And chances are, he'll get meaner.
And even if he has changed, he has to accept the fact that he fucked up, and he has to live with the consequences (those being, he can't be friends with you).
Don't speak to him. He's not worth your time.

Originally Posted by goldfish67

wow...i really really wish my ex best friend wouldve come to my house offering to be friends again..i think you should be friends again..even if it doesnt work out..well atleast you'd have had more time with him :)

There's a difference between an old best friend dropping by trying to make it work again compared to someone who was verbally abusive and made you feel like less of a person just because they could.

There's no reason for her to torment herself with this person again. If he was as cruel as she felt he was then there's no reason to put him back into her life and subject herself to that again. And she should let him know that.

If you're happy without him, and miserable with him...there's your answer.

Yell at him, tell him he's awful, call him every nasty name you've ever heard, and then surround yourself with good friends who care about you and ignore him for the rest of his pathetic life.
He is an awful, selfish son of a *insert bad word here* and doesn't deserve to be the dirt under your trash can.
People CAN NOT just treat you like he did and expect you to take them back with open arms ><

And whenever you see him, hold your head high and remember that he is scum and you are so much better than him. And you deserve friends who are just like you, not like that nasty prick.

Tell him to fuck off.
People like that... well, they don't change. You might care about him, but he's still an ass. He'll treat you like shit all over again.
There's always someone better out there.

Originally Posted by goldfish67

i think you should be friends again..even if it doesnt work out..well atleast you'd have had more time with him :)

Wow, worst piece of crap I've ever heard in my life. Think she should be friends with him again? Nuh-uh.

She deserves more than he does-- all he does is treat him a piece of crap. If you had an abusing friend that hurts your feelings, toying you around, would you take them back? Of course YOU would; she/he would think you're just a scumbag loser (if you do decide yes, you probably are. ;\) and would play around with you just to make you feel they're better than you in every other way and keep hurting your feelings.

Hmm, I suggest you tell him to nicely say, back off. He's not in your life anymore, he's destroyed every precious moment in your life when you could of have had found someone better and way better than he could ever be.

He seems like a horrible friend, though you 'loved' him.

If you keep repeating this, you'd break your heart forever. You need to stand up-- he'd know when to stop toying with your heart, and you'd be happy and find some better friends.

Promise me, you'd tell him to back off and destory his own life-- not yours. Okaaiii?

Thank you.

However you decide, be careful with your trust. I would give him a chance, but be all superficial with him at first, weather, talking. The minute he steps out of line, chew him out and don't speak to him again.

Again, this is Connie method, not necessarily the best course of action.

I was actually in a similar situation a year or two ago. It really affected me because she was a very manipulative person and it got to the point where I was scared of her. But, like you, I also liked her(she was really fun to be around because we had similar interests), and I wanted to protect her from herself.

In the end I wound up completely blocking her off and not talking to her at all. Looking back, it seems like I overreacted, but it was a sure way to get out of a nasty situation so I don't regret it. I recommend that you do the same.

Depending on how much this has affected you, you might want to consider therapy. It sounds like you are still confused about your feelings like I was. When I tried ignoring my feelings I wound up having really crazy panic attacks, so at least make sure you're doing ok if you don't get therapy.

Being around a friend should be a pleasant experience, if it's not, then you really shouldn't be around them. Maybe someone else is better suited to his brand of drama.

You have good times and bad times with any relationship, but if the good doesn't drastically outnumber the bad then the relationship isn't worth your time.

Lovely Akari,
He has you where he wants you. He treats you like this, and he probly does the same to his family or anyone else that lets him.

He's in control of the situation right now. You need to get out of it. I suggest changing your routine, hanging out with an old friend (or new one), and doing something new. Change your daily perspective a little and he wont be able to control your emotions so much.

Anyway you look at it, this is not a good person to be around. You deserve better. You are not hurting him by letting go. You might even be helping him.

tell him he's a sh!tbag. He really is, he's fckin bipolar. If he ever did that to me I would punch him in his face.