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Yosuke
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#1
Old 10-07-2007, 07:12 PM

Check these out:
Fujiyama's crest
The silver moon greets the deer
Silently nearing
The safety of it's white crown
High above the red maples


Reply to that: A stealthy white deer
Steals silently through the snow
Of Fujiyama
leaving no track to be seen
By Tsukuyomi's thin smile


Pretty cool huh?

Knerd
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#2
Old 10-07-2007, 07:36 PM

I've moved this to the Poetry subforum, where it will hopefully get some more feedback.

I'm sure that I'd get much more out of the writing if I understood the context. Fujiyama? Tsukuyomi? Would you mind explaining these things to me, and maybe what you meant by the poems?

Yosuke
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#3
Old 10-09-2007, 02:56 PM

Fuijyama is a famous mountain in Japan, but in the poem it refers to the Emperor's castle. The "silent white deer" refers to a warrior, coming to the castle in the dark of night, and Tsukuyomi is the moon god, so when it says "under Tsukuyomi's thin smile", it means under the cresent moon, when there's not a lot of light. Does that clear it up a bit?

littleaes
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#4
Old 10-09-2007, 04:38 PM

So descriptive! I can see the picture in my head so easily! These truly are wonderful haikus, and I'm glad you decided to share them with us! ^^

Yosuke
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#5
Old 10-10-2007, 03:02 PM

haha.thank you so much! it makes me feel so GREAT to know that someone likes my poems^^ :D

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#6
Old 10-11-2007, 04:37 AM


Haha cool, I like it. But aren't haiku's 5-7-5? =0
Or is that a different kind? >__<

I heard this haiku, that I thought was funny. >__<

"Haiku's are easy,
But sometimes they don't make sense,
Refrigerator."



Yosuke
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#7
Old 10-11-2007, 03:10 PM

sorry.didn't mean to make it so small :oops: .what i said was,"well yes.haikus are suposed to be 5-7-5.but i guess you could call these haikus.actually, you would probably call these 'mokudare's(japanese poems, with a ritmic touch)"

okay then.and by the way, that poem is uber funny :D :D :D

Yosuke
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#8
Old 10-12-2007, 10:49 PM

since you liked them so much, i will post some more:

Silken butterfly
Evanescent red and black
Your throbbing wings beat
Out the measure of your span
A tear melting on my sleeve


The silvery blade
Of tempered steel hides from the light
The travelers sleep
And dream in peace of lost times
Before steel was stained with red


Cresent of black sand
the ancient pines of Miho
Frame a stark picture
Of small figures bent and worn
By the weight of daily life


one more:
Rokuhara's halls
Echo to the holy men
Chanting the praises
Of the great golden Buddha
And his glorious children

ok, you have to admit. those were pretty darn cool

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#9
Old 10-13-2007, 01:22 AM

Hey Noha!
Your not aloud to post twice in a row.

Yosuke
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#10
Old 10-13-2007, 03:39 AM

well that sucks. because I do it all the time. no one has stopped me.I had to take this stupid quiz, but nothing more :)

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#11
Old 10-13-2007, 04:59 PM

there is another name for the poems.. itssomething like haiku..... hmmmm... but they are very good =] i like em =]... ok i found it.. they are called tanks.. they are 5 lined.. forget the rythm you need.. but they are probably Tankas. if not, ah well it doesnt make em any less nice =]

Yosuke
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#12
Old 10-13-2007, 06:13 PM

does everyone like my awesome haiku making skills?

 


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