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Amo_Angelus
(・・^...
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10-14-2007, 04:57 PM
Prologue of spooky house.
Every neighbourhood has one. Big or small, old or new, there is always one house above all others that is labled a spooky and no matter what anyone says the children will always be afraid of it and rely some scary story or another to anyone who asks why they're scared of a house. Of course, very few adults believe these stories and the ones who do are usually somewhat crazy. But this is not always the case. Let me tell you about the spooky house. Or 119 Grimshaw Place.
The Spooky house has been empty for, oh it must be comming close to forty years now and in that time it has certainly earnt it's reputation as our spooky house. I used to know the residents, as well as anyone could know the masons. Bertha Mason was a house wife with a phobia of the outdoors and Gregory Mason worked in an office. Finances of some sort. I remember he was always working and Bertha never made any friends, she must have been so lonely. Then she became pregnant. I never met the child though, no one ever did. It was a little boy, Johnathan Mason. He was very sickly and stayed with his mother at home. People used to visit but by the end the Masons had alienated everyone in the town. So nobody stopped by on a whim anymore.
It was sheer chance that anyone went there at all. As it was a young, misguided man broke into the Mason house, late October 1959. Crime just didnt happen back then so it was simple chance. He never broke in anywhere ever again. What he found in the Mason house was enough to set him on the straight and narrow for the rest of his life. The Mason family had been dead for a good while. The striken man rushed out of the house screaming and the authorities were called. No one quite understands what happened. But from what I've gathered through the years little Johnathan was sick because his mother made him so and he had died from it, Striken with grief Greggory had attacked Bertha and killed her only to finish himself off. I never found out if this was true, or just another one of the spooky house tales people make up. But eitherway the family were dead and the house never sold again. Nobody had ventured onto the grounds for several years, but after that incident, no one walked on that sidde of the street as they passed the house.
And so the spooky house of our neighbourhood became 119 Grimshaw place and the stories the children told were always so colourful, but unbelievable and so most of what they told me has been forgotten in the darkest reaches of my mid, but this one...This one I have to tell you! Even if you think I am a senile old man dear friend. I need to tell you now before it is too late. Someone more than a child must speak out against the wickedness in spooky house.
Last edited by Amo_Angelus; 05-12-2008 at 02:57 AM..
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Ankko
⊙ω⊙
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10-14-2007, 04:59 PM
I used to have this really scary abanded house down the street from mine.
It was small and the windows and doors were boarded up. They got rid of it and now theres pretty flowers and weeds in its place :3
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Amo_Angelus
(・・^...
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10-14-2007, 05:01 PM
Unless you have something to say about the story, please refrain from posting.
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alice_in_wonderland
(-.-)zzZ
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10-14-2007, 05:05 PM
are you sure that all neighborhoods have a haunted house? because i don't think any houses in my neighborhood is haunted except maybe mine so you might be right never mind.
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Amo_Angelus
(・・^...
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10-16-2007, 07:05 AM
Chapter 1 - Part 1
It was shortly after the Mason family died that the stories began to flurish. At first it began as idle gossip, but slowly the truth became a twisted and ugly thing. I am sure that you have heard the tales yourself by now, so I shall not sully the Mason memory by repeating those dreadful things. Well after a few years the horror stories became something more, they became ghost stories. Told only by the children and the Mason horror stories were forgotten by time. Very few people believed these wide eyed children as they relayed extravagant tales of evil spirits and cruel intentions. I think somewhere in our hearts, we knew the wicked tales of the Masons were false and so no adult ever truely believed these tales. How could we? Even back then Ghost stories were things for children.
However, five years ago, Kristen Waters moved into the house next door. She was such a pretty thing. Fifteen years old and a breath of fresh air. I will never forget the first time I saw her, much as I will never forget the last. It was a cool April morning. A soft breeze was blowing in from the south and the birds were already singing their songs, I had been up for a fair while with my arthritis you see. Getting older just means things get harder, and sleep is not exampt from this rule.
Well I don't know how long they had been on the road, but as I sat on the porch in my rocking chair, you remember the one George made me for Christmas, well I was waiting for the paper boy because these days the only joy I get is reading that thing. It was back then too, but Kristen changed that, at least for a short time.
The removal van arrived first and sat outside the vacant house, waiting. I had known it was sold and paid very little attention to it, but of course I noticed it. The man kept the engine running and I thought this was rather rude of him. Next arrived the family car. You know the type, those big off roaders people seem to crave despite them never even going through so much as a muddy puddle with them. But I digress, unfortunatly that too comes with age. So let me tell you about Kristen waters...
*To be completed*
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StormRose
*^_^*
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10-16-2007, 01:36 PM
You had me in the first paragraph. That is an amazing opening line. It is a classic haunted house story set up in that 'People murdered in house, all these stories.' You have a good grasp on the way that rumors become fact and the like. The neighborhood you have created is believable, realistic, and your narrator is well done. He wanders off topic enough that you don't quite loose sight of the actual purpose.
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Amo_Angelus
(・・^...
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10-16-2007, 09:08 PM
Thank you so much! :)
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Snarry
⊙ω⊙
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10-22-2007, 03:05 PM
I agree, that was awesome.
I'll check for more soon.
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Nihairo
Dead Account Holder
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10-22-2007, 09:31 PM
It's got a great start so far! There were a few spelling or grammatical errors, but no big deal, not enough to take away from the story itself. The narrator seems realistic enough, and the little details add to the entire effect. For example, him thinking that the driver leaving the engine running was rude. It adds to the illusion of realism. I think you have the makings of a pretty good old fashioned horror tale going! Keep up the good work!
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Amo_Angelus
(・・^...
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10-23-2007, 12:31 AM
Thank you :) Yeah I kinda rush through the spelling and grammar then forget to go back and check :oops: Thank you :)
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Soda
Sodipop
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11-10-2007, 09:14 PM
That was an entertaining read, perhaps you'll finish it some time ^^ I really liked how you portrayed the narrator, I enjoy such views for reading. Third person and semi Ominicent (I believe thats the term)
The grammar was pretty good but I noticed a small amount of fragmented sentences! -huggles= Thanks for letting me read it! :D
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Amo_Angelus
(・・^...
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11-10-2007, 09:17 PM
Thank you :) I'll try to finish it.
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Amo_Angelus
(・・^...
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12-09-2007, 02:14 PM
Chapter 1 - Part 2
They must have been travelling through the night, for when little Kristen emerged from the car, she was clutching a small raggedy teddy bear and still bleary eyed from sleep. Her long golden curls were slightly tousled and her frock was creased, yet still, you couldn't help but smile at her.
She drew her teddy bear into a hug as she stared at the old house she would call home for the rest of her life. To her it must have seemed so big and imposing. Looking back I understand why she stared at the building but back then I thought the child was a little simple.
After a few moments of silent awe, she turned to the car where her mother was wrestling with a child seat and cried "Mama? Is this really our house?" Her voice was flooded with such joy and wonder that I found myself smiling again, and I was not the only one. Her mother laughed and replied "Of course. Why don't you take your brother and go find your bedroom while we get the things brought in?" As she finally plucked the child from his car seat and handed him to Kristen, who gleefully took him and half ran, half walked into the house to the sound of nonsensical baby babble both from her own lips and baby Treys.
Ahh yes, a breath of fresh air indeed. I took an instant liking to the girl, even before I spoke to her. Poor mite. She was so full of life and energy.
The paperboy was of course late that day. By the time he arrived the Waters family had already moved half of the bedroom furniture inside. I have to hand it to them, even in my hayday I never moved furniture that efficiantly.
*to be completed*
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Amo_Angelus
(・・^...
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12-11-2007, 02:21 AM
Chapter 1 - Part 3
Well that was the day the old picture house burnt down. Do you remember? During the early hours of the morning some evil vandal set fire to it. I'm not ashamed to say that brought a tear to my eye. I frequently took Martha there when we were courting, her love for the enchanted cottage was spawned in that theatre. Now it's gone and all that's left are the memories. Beautiful and terrible memories.
When I looked up from the paper, she was stood there. At the bottom step of my porch, watching me. Hurridly I brushed the tear aside and composed myself. "Don't be sad." She told me as I faught against my memories. "I just moved in next door and wanted to say hey. Should I go?"
I shook my head and motioned for her to join me on the porch. I did motion towards a chair, but she sat down crossed legged with her back against the rails. Kristen was like that, I rarely saw her on a seat. "I know, I saw you arrive. Welcome to the neighbourhood..." I realized then that she hadn't told me her name but she oblidged before I even thought to ask her.
"I'm Kristen Waters. I have a baby brother called Trey and my parents are Karen and John." She smiled "Treys why we moved here. Our old house was so small Trey had nowhere to sleep!" Her wide eyed explaination of the move forced a smile to my lips.
"A pleasure to meet you Miss Waters. I am George Sanders." She laughed and told me that miss made her sound old and I shouldn't call her it any more. Of course I accepted this and referred to her as Kristen from that moment on. She asked about the people here and the shops, and anything you can imagine. For someone comming round to just say hey, she had an aweful lot to talk about. I didn't mind. Since Martha passed, I have been so lonely and I saw the same lonliness in dear Kristen. She needed someone to talk to just as much as I did.
Her wonderful babble ceased only when her mother called her home for lunch. Kristen asked if she could come again another time, and of course I consented. I never expected her to return. I was pleasently surprised when she did.
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Furious
\ (•◡•) /
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04-10-2008, 12:30 AM
I have to say, I really love it. It has a way of...I dunno, drawing the reader in, and making them want more. I really hope you continue one day. It's gone off to a great start.
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Amo_Angelus
(・・^...
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04-10-2008, 12:36 AM
^_^ YAY, I'm glad you like it. For you, I shall add another section of it.
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Furious
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04-10-2008, 12:42 AM
Oh, awesome! *Tackleglomphug* ^-^
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Amo_Angelus
(・・^...
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04-10-2008, 01:33 AM
Chapter 2 - Part 1
As it turned out, I didn't have to wait long before Kristen was back on my doorstep, looking rather excited and eager to tell me everything that had happened to her since our last meeting. I had been out for my afternoon walk, and no sooner had I reached my front door, than I hear "Mr Sanders?" Bless her. The child had been waiting for me to come home. "I started my new school today." She told me eagerly as I struggled to put the key in the lock.
Never could I remember seeing anyone so eager to tell me about their day. I remember her being bouncy and ready to burst with her story, but my memory is not the most accurate thing in this world. Maybe I just wanted the company. Either way, I invited her in, and after handing her a glass of milk and putting out a plate of cookies she told me all about that wonderful world of modern teenagers. And what a baffling world it is. Full of trivial blights and joys that meant the world to dear Kristen.
I tell you now, I had no idea so much could happen to such a little person in one day, and still don't fully understand how they have the energy to do all they do. I was tired simply hearing about her adventures. Schools have certainly changed since we were younger. Yes indeed. Although some things...some things will never change. The way kids treat each other, that will, I'm pretty sure, never change.
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Furious
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04-10-2008, 01:36 AM
Another awesome entry! I love Kristen, she seems so sweet ^3^ How long have you planned this story to be, may I ask?
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Amo_Angelus
(・・^...
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04-10-2008, 01:39 AM
Ummmm I haven't. My creative juices dried up so Seito bugged me to start writing again until one day I came in here, opened this thread and stared. I had a plot in my head before I'd finished the first post.
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Furious
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04-10-2008, 01:46 AM
I see.
Well, you must be great at coming up with plots, because this is brilliant ^_-
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Amo_Angelus
(・・^...
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04-10-2008, 01:49 AM
Have you worked out what's going to happen yet?
If I sit down and think, I can usually come up with quite a few good plots. It's just sitting down and thinking I have trouble with.
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Furious
\ (•◡•) /
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04-10-2008, 01:51 AM
i actually have no idea what so ever on what's going to happen XD
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Amo_Angelus
(・・^...
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04-10-2008, 01:53 AM
Really? I've dropped a few hints already. ^_^ That's good.
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Furious
\ (•◡•) /
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04-10-2008, 01:54 AM
I see the problem. I'm *terrible* at picking up hints XD
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