I logged in to my email this morning and this was my horoscope:

"Your unselfish nature has gotten you farther in life than you might realize. While all the attention grabbing go-getters make headlines with their successes, your quiet determination and honest efforts haven't earned you as much of the spotlight -- but they may have earned you more respect than those in the limelight. Being resentful of the acclaim that someone else may be getting isn't going to help you at all. Stay focused on what really matters and be content with having substance over style."

This got me thinking. I've always been the "nice girl" who didn't want to make waves. And somehow, I always see the people whose actions I despise get ahead in life. Some days I get tired of having morals and trying to do right by others, when all it usually does for me is make others step all over me.

Discuss: Better to be the "nice guy" or the one who gets ahead? Which one are you? Are you happy with the way you are? What is wrong with me?

Better to be the nice person, but nice person doesn't equal "doormat". You can be nice and assertive at the same time.

If you're going to be nice for the motive of being nice, I think that's not being yourself...

Be true to who you are; that's all that matters. If that includes quite kindness then so be it.

You will always see people running ahead of you and burning up as they melt into the sun. However, at a steady pace, you can gather more strength to withstand it when you get there :)

What I'm saying is: opportinists don't survive.

Honestly, I think that you will get farther by being a respectful, friendly fellow than you will by bulling your way though life. It may take longer to get there, but when you do your position will be much more secure, and you will have friends to help you if something goes wrong.

@ charis: I definitely agree. I just wish I knew how to strike the balance. It's taken me 25 years to learn to say "no" at all, and I'm not very good at it. I admire people who are strong but still good people.

@ Anahita: That's a good way to think of it. In me it's more of a drive to help others, which I love about myself. The part I hate is that people seem to look down on me for it. In fact, the only reason it doesn't bother me more than it does is because my husband says that's his favorite thing about me. Which I guess makes it all worthwhile, now that I think about it. The line about melting into the sun was beautiful. I'll remember that. :)

Well I have always been the "nice" girl for the most part. The one who lost the guy to the mean girl and the one who dated the ugly guy cause she couldn't get the balls to tell him he was icky. (only kind of joking) HOWEVER I have gotten better.
I am still the nice girl and finally got a nice guy. A very nice guy. I don't mind losing most of the time cause I know somehow I will get it back. c:

I agree... you can be a nice person but don't let anyone make you a doormat... doormats are people who let people walk over them and no one should walk over people that is just soo wrong in so many ways. The person doing the walking must have some reason to be doing this... probably a bad childhood...

Its better to be the nice person, and I am a nice guy.

I try to be nice to other people, but I try to be careful too. People will try to take advantage of your good nature.
It's happened to me before, and sometimes it still does. It doesn't bother me that much though.
I do think it's unfortunate though that being nice won't get a person very far. Oh, well. -_-
We just have to keep trying. We'll make it eventually. ^_^

I think that phrase better fits a fictional/harder world. Cause being nice isn't wrong, and it is bound to get you into high place.

Though in the business world, being cut throat will get you into higher places too. Being nice, you don't want to have to do the wrong thing to succeed.

Not to mention in video games, the villian will kill to get what they want (they don't win in the games, but it's a game the hero has to win).

And I can't help but think of all the kind and great leaders that were assasinated. In theory they "ended last", but their effect was so great it couldn't have ever ended last.

But maybe I'm thinking too hard on this.

I've never really been the 'nice girl'... I'm absurdly kind and supportive to those I'm friends with and care about, but I've always been one of the people not afraid to say what's on my mind and to be 'different'.

My boyfriend's the complete opposite, though. He's a total sweetheart, and can't stand the thought of hurting other people he cares about... It's actually caused quite a few problems for him, though, because he doesn't know how to say no to people, so he winds up leading them on... Yeah. Fun times.

I think the real main difference between nice people finishing first or last is whether or not they manage to be nice and still have a backbone, or if they're complete pushovers... You have to have a spine to get what you want.

• Better to be the "nice guy" or the one who gets ahead? I don't know about anyone else but I'd rather not be either. I try and be a little bit of both, really. I'm always really nice to most people and I've found out that people will always take advantage of that.
  I've also discovered, that if you're a horrid person, while no one will take advantage of you, no one will like you either.
  It's all about balance. :]
  
  Which one are you? A little of both, my once people know me, I'm all "nice guy" and "doormat."
  
  Are you happy with the way you are? I don't know. Some times it bothers me, but there's nothing I can do about it, really.
  
  What is wrong with me? D:! Absolutly nothing, dear!
  A lot of people are "nice guys." Sure, it really sucks at some points, but that's life.
  

Whoa. I just talked about horoscopes in my lit class today. XD
I think that horoscopes are kind of bs because they're so generalized and applicable to real life. Like mine was basically telling me to balance my checkbook now, not later. Which, I already knew. XD

I'm nice and have morals. I respect most people, but I can strongly voice my opinion and stand up for myself with valid points if I feel it's needed.

I often get told that I'm mean because I'm honest and honesty is just hard for some people to understand and accept.

The nice always finish last, its a fact of nature!!!!!!!! I have no girlfriend, am considered a loser, and all because im a nice guy. I would rather be a maean guy, they get like all teh girls and advantages. Ugh i hat ebeing a nice gyuu. Whats wrong wit you???? Well, i woudl have to sya a lot, j/k funny momenet so chilll.

Nice guys do, in fact, tend to finish last. My cousin is one, the poor man.

I'm a "nice guy" too. However, I've learned a lot from watching my sisters and have learned the importance of networking. If there is a job that I want I get to know people and get known. I try not to be a pest about it - just be friendly so that when the time comes to apply for a job people know who I am. I want to be a teacher so I do a lot of volunteer work at my mom's school. So I'm playing by the rules but a lot of people in the district happen to know me now. It's pretty cool.

Nice guys... are looked down upon T_T

In art class, my friends think I 'don't know how to have fun' since when they asked if I drink (No. and Never.) smoke (No. and Never.) tried weed (No. and Never).

I never got anything out of being the good kid with my peers. sure, teachers love me and the kids like to exploit it, but in the long run... nope.

That's why I always like the villains in movies. haha. They definitely are better than the superheroes.