Hello, my sister who is sixteen is more than likely pregnant at the moment, she has sore breasts, has been vomiting and has also missed her period.

She has taken a home pregnancy test which came up negative but it runs in my family that the urine tests don't work until late into the pregnancy, if at all. She gets the blood test results in 2 days, but I want to help her prepare for the reality that she is more than likely pregnant and the decisions she will have to make.

So what I am requesting is some information/links to help her make the very hard decision , at this point she is trying to decide whether to keep the baby or abort.

I live in Australia so link relating to Australian policy for abortion and abortion types would be handy. Also information about the reality of having a baby and raising it would also be good. Any information/links would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you

P.S: please don't turn this into an abortion debate. Thanks

I know this is not my decision, but I don't believe in abortion. There are many women like me who are having infertility problems and can not have children of their own. I think adoption would be a better choice. :3

Hello fellow Australian.
You post is so s.o.s I'm not sure whether to congratulate or not <<; As someone against abortion I'd say an option for your sister would also be to keep it but put it up for adoption. As a 16 year old she might not be ready, I wont say it will ruin her life, but babies are huge responsibilities (neices and nephews are tough enough trust me ^^) Its good to hear she has your support. What about your parents?

As far as I know abortions are legal in Australia.
This link is a research paper I found, it looked official but it confused me, maybe you can find something useful?
http://www.aph.gov.au/Library/Pubs/R...1.htm#homicide

Goodluck with the results!

yes, my parents know, we are all going to support her no matter what decision she makes, I just want to be able to help her make an informed decision as this will affect the rest of her life. Thank you for your replies :)

going to bed now, but please continue to post as i will check back tomorrow

Frankly, the decision for keeping the baby is a big choice. It'll not only be her big step in the adult world but everybody else in your family as well. I swear...everybody gets included in the mess as well.
It's your choice to make the most and everybody else's as well to make the most out of it! :3

I've dealt with a pregnant sister myself and mind you...It was not the most beautiful thing I have ever had.

It was terrible. At least for me.

First things off, when you have a pregnant person in the house, that spells A LOT of changes in the house physically and for the members as well.

Physically as the house has to be more less safe for her during her journey and such as as she gets more and more into the late pregnancy, things aren't going to be easy for her.

Likely she'll be very irritable and moody --- much to your liking. She will need lots of attention and reassurance during her period. Help her through by making her loved. But don't allow her to abuse her condition though --- It was terribly annoying how my sister often did that! ><;;

Though I liked it when she had food trips a lot. 8D I benefited since she was often lazy and didn't want to order unless someone else did it for her. ^^

Post pregnancy was worse than during.

Since her body's still adjusting and stuff, she was STILL very irritable and moody. The slightest thing MADE HER MAD so easily I had to hide.
I think much of my being grounded pre-pregnancy I could attribute to her moodiness. She already was---it just got worse when she wad carrying.

We had a fire near our house once... She went into a panic and snapped at everyone. It was not very mature but we just let her be, saying she needed time. I know it's something worth panicking about but... even my mom who owns the house was calm and quite good about the whole situation. ; - ;

She's back to normal now. It's been many years since but I still remember how terrible her moods had been back then.

Having a pregnant person about in the house can be quite tricky and such. Depending on how the environment can be... And such. Just show her you love her and be there for her. They seriously love it when you lavish affection on them.

Or play punching bag/the recipient of all their hurts ---I think she made me her punching bag now that I think about it.

As to her keeping and not keeping the baby, it's a fifty fifty case. It depends on her health really.
And her body's maturity level as well. If her body's fit enough to deliver then let go.
There are some factors such as financial nonetheless.

Delivering the baby is one matter.

Another would be keeping the child.

Some people who don't want to keep the baby often resort to clinical abortion with their personal reasons and such. Contrary to what most people think, abortion if done properly CAN help than harm a woman but it's still risky business even if it were licensed and properly done nonetheless.
Sometimes it can cause greater side effects such as permanent infertility and such.
But depending on the religiosity/morality of you and your family, this might present itself as some form of murder. Depends... There are some who opt for this despite that nonetheless.

There's the option of having someone else care for the child in the mother's stead such as adoption and such.
Or having a relative take care and the mother can go visit every so and so times she wishes. It's fine to go by whatever deal or procedure you can procure and feels fit enough for your sister to go through.

But please...Whatever be the decision, I hope your sister will be healthy for it!

Originally Posted by Miss Polly

Hello, my sister who is sixteen is more than likely pregnant at the moment, she has sore breasts, has been vomiting and has also missed her period.

She has taken a home pregnancy test which came up negative but it runs in my family that the urine tests don't work until late into the pregnancy, if at all. She gets the blood test results in 2 days, but I want to help her prepare for the reality that she is more than likely pregnant and the decisions she will have to make.

So what I am requesting is some information/links to help her make the very hard decision , at this point she is trying to decide whether to keep the baby or abort.

I live in Australia so link relating to Australian policy for abortion and abortion types would be handy. Also information about the reality of having a baby and raising it would also be good. Any information/links would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you

P.S: please don't turn this into an abortion debate. Thanks

As much as i don't agree with abortion, it's ultimately up to her. If she is seriously considering abortion, sit her down and talk to her. Tell her that she could develop depression, and that abortions reduce the possibility of getting pregnant in the future, because an abortion causes trauma to the uterus. What they generally do is put a vacuum up to the womb and suck the baby out, which can often cause cysts and bleeding in the womb, which could cause problems down the road. Make sure she understands these risks.

Apart from that, be there for her. Help her out. If you have the time and she decides to have the baby, offer to babysit when she works and stuff like that.

I will try to look up information later. I don't know about Australia, but in the states if you're a single mother and especially under 18 you can file for federal aide to help take care of the baby. So maybe try looking that up in your area

I as well have a sister who got pregnant at the age of 16. She decided not to keep the baby, as it would have had an extraordinary impact on her life, and she decided that she was not in a place to take care of a child at her age. I couldn't have agreed with her more at the time. She was stupid and irresponsible, and not fit to be a mother at such a young age.

I am pro-choice, but I do feel that she needs to think about her decision before going ahead with an abortion. It's different for every family, so that's something she's going to need to decide, along with the rest of your family.

Here's a link that may be helpful when deciding if she wants to have an abortion or not:
http://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/b...Australia?open

I'll try to find some other links to add later, but it looks like each Australian state makes it's own laws in regard to abortion. What state do you live in?

This isn't a "I'm completely against abortion so you have to listen to me" rant, but I don't believe in abortion.

Personally, I'd tell her not to abort. First off, it's hard on your body (I know pregnancy is harder on your body but eh). She'll regret it later on in her life and she'll never get over it if she does. She'll have nightmares about it at night. (I don't have a link to the article I read that in, but I'm sure you could find it just about anywhere). If you guys have the ability to support the baby, I'd go ahead and let her keep it. Adopting children off is a bad idea too unless you can't support the baby financially.

My best friend is adopted and she cries every so often about her real parents because she'll never know why they adopted her off. My aunt is adopted and she still gets upset about it sometimes too. My fiancee's baby got adopted off back in January and he's sad about it. The mother of his baby was 15 at the time, younger than your sister.

Your sister screwed up,(Unless she was raped, which is a completely different story. I'd be pro-choice in that case. Or if it was going to kill her in childbirth.) so she needs to grow up, be a woman and carry the baby full term.(Not intended to be rude! I promise!) It's her responsibility. As a Wiccan woman, I believe "An ye harm none, do what ye will". Even at an early stage in the womb, fetus have heartbeats. They move and breathe and everything. She really needs to keep that in mind while making her decision.

In my opinion, it's murder if she just gives it up just because she doesn't want to deal with it. If she's old enough to have sex, she's damn well old enough to bear the consequences of it.

Something that crossed my mind while I was reflecting on this thread.

Having a child at 16 is quite unhealthy.

Her body isn't that ready for it but can deliver if need be. She's still not considered ripe enough as she hasn't reached her body's age of maturity.
I don't need sources for this. It's really the truth out there frankly speaking.

Regardless if she delivers or aborts, this experience is going to have a toll on her body.

I forgot what specifically could happen but if a girl were to deliver and have children at a young age, the baby would have higher chances of developing complications. In the sense that the child would not be so healthy and such. Or something to that effect,
Consider that the baby's immune system and others are practically derived from the mother's after all. But this is just all "what if and stuff you shouldn't" I'm saying. On this account, I'd really need to consult the experts. But yes...it can happen.

: /

Just try to look at which one has the least amount of disadvantages against the other as well as where your morality stands. Morality tends to change and shift about the matter of the debate frankly.

I think she should give it up for adoption. I'm sure there is a couple out there that can't have children due the the wife being barren or something. If you do that, not only will the child she is carrying have a better life, but also the one who gets the child will.

http://directory.adoption.com/intern...Australia.html

Here's a slightly negative side to it:

http://www.childrenbychoice.org.au/n...nfactsheet.htm

I think that she should abort the child. Pregnancy on its own can really blow up a 16 year old's life, much less actually having the child, and I'm essentially against giving kids up for adoption.

However, that's not my call to make.
Make sure that your sister knows all of her options and the information and ultimately it will just be her having to make a decision.

Looking around on the web, this is the best site to go to. It has a lot of information on abortion, and what happens afterwards.:

http://afterabortion.org/




There is nothing wrong with adoption. Just be aware that that is an option.

What Women Say

In surveys of women who experienced post-abortion complications:

Over 90% said they weren't given enough information to make an informed choice.

Over 80% said it was very unlikely they would have aborted if they had not been so strongly encouraged to abort by others, including their abortion counselors.

83% said they would have carried to term if they had received support from boyfriends, families or other important people in their lives

~~ by Randy Alcorn, Eternal Perspective Ministries, 39085 Pioneer Blvd., Suite 206, Sandy, OR 97055, 503-668-5200, www.epm.org


Good luck, with whatever your sister does. I mean, if you can find someone on here who has HONESTLY had an abotion, then that's someone you should be talking to, not someone who's pro-choice, or pro-life. Personally, I think a women should have an abortion in the case taht she will die, or have many physical complications afterwards. The first site I posted is the best. You should go there for information. You should just try to be prepared...

I can tell you, that their are many STRAIGHT(For all you phobes) couples who would love to have a baby. Usually the birth mother does get to choose who gets her child. My parents know this one couple who would love to have a baby, but the wife is unable to... They also can't adopt because they are over 40, and a lot of agencies don't accept that. It's rather sad.[/quote]

Thank you all for your replies and the helpful links posted. My mum is also going to take her to an unbiased counselor which should help her decide what she wants to do. Thank you

Originally Posted by whitebeast

Something that crossed my mind while I was reflecting on this thread.

Having a child at 16 is quite unhealthy.

Her body isn't that ready for it but can deliver if need be. She's still not considered ripe enough as she hasn't reached her body's age of maturity.
I don't need sources for this. It's really the truth out there frankly speaking.

Regardless if she delivers or aborts, this experience is going to have a toll on her body.

I forgot what specifically could happen but if a girl were to deliver and have children at a young age, the baby would have higher chances of developing complications. In the sense that the child would not be so healthy and such. Or something to that effect,
Consider that the baby's immune system and others are practically derived from the mother's after all. But this is just all "what if and stuff you shouldn't" I'm saying. On this account, I'd really need to consult the experts. But yes...it can happen.

: /

Just try to look at which one has the least amount of disadvantages against the other as well as where your morality stands. Morality tends to change and shift about the matter of the debate frankly.

It can happen but is unlikely. a girl's body can stand up to a lot. It may stunt the remainder of her growth, but she should be able to have a healthy baby, assuming she is of relatively good health. It's not ideal, however i've seen quite a few (i live in an extremely populated and crime ridden area...yay Cobb County) 15-16 year old mothers with healthy babies.

I'm taking into consideration the lasting effects here somewhat.

We've had younger mothers over here who have delivered babies as well. The children are well though on occasion not too well but in later years for the girl, it has it's toll. Thirteen I think?

A teenage girl's reproductive and immune systems is not as well developed as you think it is. That is why it is advised that when she does go for the whole pregnancy matter, she better be mature body wise already!

More so if a girl just had her period -like it's been less than two years and so since she had it for the very first time- it could whack up her menstruation cycle. Though I'm hopeful that this can be normalized in the long run.

...I think I should seriously go bother people who really know the whole matter. XD;

Well...you said that your parents know and everything, and that they support her...that's a GOOD start already, if my parents found out that I was pregnant (not that I am) I'd be like...disowned. D:

I guess the only thing that I can say to you is support her, comfort her...and be there for her in her time of 'need'.

I've never had a pregnant friend or relative around my age so I'm not sure what else to say.

But I think it would be a good thing to read up on young mothers...so if she has questions, because a lot of the time a 16 year old girl is still developing and she could loose the baby, and I'm sure neither of you would want that. <3

I would like to say that yoiu should keep the baby. If you CAN support it you should cherish it and take care of it but if you can't afford it you should give it up for adoption. You can never take back an abortion and I don't want her to regret killing her first child