So, the deal is, it's been...close to 9 years since I was in anything that I would call a dating or serious relationship.
I'm happy, I'm single, I have a great job and fun hobbies. I also have a nice family and awesome pets.
BUT!

Just a few weeks ago someone tried to 'set me up' with someone that I'd agreed to a trial date with. The trail date didn't work -at all- We didn't agree on far too many things that are important to me (Religion, politics etc...) so we called it off. Apparently he's still crushing, I can live with that, he'll get over it after all.

BUT... the person whom tried to set me up with him (My now engaged sister) Implied that I have been 'Sans relationship' for too long.

-IS- there such a thing?
I can't quite believe there is. After all there are a lot of happy people whom stay single their whole LIFE.
I'm sure she means well but It quite threw me off that she -knows- we had strong points of disagreement and she's still trying to get me to 'see him seriously' again.

Is there anyone here whom can help me see her side of things? I worry that I'm missing something vital.
At the same time, I don't think I can just overlook such things. If mister right comes along he will...but
am I waiting too long?

I suppose its a foolish worry, but if nothing else its left me uneasy.

If you're happy, then I see no problem with staying single. It's not like you need a partner in order to lead a full life.

Since your sister is currently engaged, I'm assuming that she just wants you to experience the happiness that she's going through now. I'm guessing that the wedding and her fiance pretty much dominate her life right now, so she can't imagine being without it. From her point of view, you're missing out.

But I don't see it that way. While being in a committed, happy relationship might look like perfection, there's life outside of love. There's no reason to push yourself towards something when you're happy where you are. Let your sister set up dates for you if that's what you're looking for, but don't let her bully you into them.

Well. I think that you just need to meet the right person. Maybe open up? Your lack of interest in dating might be because you could be a lesbian *Is joking but it could be possible since some people don't figure it out till their 30's*

Ende, I'm almost 18 and I went 9+ months before dating again after my ex screwed me over.(Long story) I planned on being single for the rest of my life. No one said anything about it and just left me alone. They all knew I normally had a new boyfriend within a few weeks or months of old ones because a lot of guys like me, but they didn't tell me to try to do that anymore. They knew I was happy being single after that disappointment. (Not trying to sound like a snot. I attract a lot of my friends because my father raised me like a boy and I know how to deal with them. It has nothing to do with me thinking I'm pretty or great. It's just a fact that I know more about them than some other girls.) My fiancee found me almost 4 months ago. At first I was just like "Ok. I'll talk to him and he'll go away." because he was kind of flirty right off. But, even though I was trying to stay single, he knocked me off my feet and I knew he was the one.

Anyway, if you're completely happy being single, don't worry about what anyone else says. You have to listen to yourself. What's right for you isn't always right for everyone else and the other way around too. Your heart is set on being single, but once you find Mr. Right or get tired of being single, you'll know. Just listen to what your heart, mind and body say, not other people. :3

Good luck, Ende!

Edit: Haha!! I just realized that "Pink - U + UR Hand" was playing in the background. :P You should tell your sister to listen to it and that it's for the guy she set you up with. XD

Haha. No such thing.
If you're happy single, what's the point in getting a relationship?
Half the time they just make a big mess of things anyway. Your sister's just doing what she thinks is best for you, but she needs to understand that you don't need anyone.

Some people are dependent, some are independent. That's how it is. >_<

It's entirely possible to be fine without a relationship, and there is no such thing as too long between.

It's all a matter of what is right for each individual, rather than what your family, or society, or anyone else thinks.

Naaah! If you're happy, then there's no reason you should be worried about it. Unless you're going Menopause and you want to have kids in the future. I mean, it actually takes people time to get over relationships, some people just don't find the right person to be in the relationship yet. If you feel that you're okay as you are, don't get too worked up, it's normal for people to be single and happy--even for a long period of time. I myself believe that sometimes, it's actually better being alone than with a partner, especially if he restricts you quite a lot. There goes the problem. But that's a totally different topic, Lol. So I'm not going much further.

All I wanna say is, if you're happy as you are, don't worry.

I think if your happy being single then just stay single until you're ready to move on to someone, it doesn't matter how long it takes as long as you are happy with the choice in the matter. I don't think we should have to have a timelimit on these kind of things as rushing into things can also become a problem. If you have friends and family and they are making you happy then just wait, he will pop up when the time comes, you can't force the situation other wise it just won't work.

That's a tricky question.
Dating someone is obviously not necessary to be happy.
However, I think that there is such a thing as staying single for too long if you do want to be in a relationship one day.
You become too set in your ways.
Your date is the perfect example.
You know where you stand on certain issues and won't settle for a person with different views.
You're happy with your life and routine and will have trouble fitting someone else into it.
I'm not saying that you should compromise your values and aquiesce to someone else's beliefs.
But staying single for a long time makes finding a relationship that much harder.
There isn't one person that will fit into your life perfectly.

I'm in a similar place myself.
I haven't been in a relationship in over a year.
I've gone on a few little dates, but I always find myself picking out the flaws in the person.
Or thinking "The only day that he has off from work is Sunday. But I always like to do this and that on Sunday. I'm happy now. Why am I going to sacrifice this and that for some new guy who doesn't have x and y traits?"

It all depends on what you want.
If you have no interest in dating, then there is no such thing as being single for too long.
But if you do want to find a relationship, then dating is a good idea.
Even if you don't meet the "perfect" person.
Spending time with someone with the possibility of romance helps you get in the proper mind set for dating and will onliy expand your interests and preferences.
The longer you go without dating, the easier it is to close yourself off from other things.

You'll have a relationship when you are good and ready and when you find the right person. You shouldn't let anyone else's opinion effect you.

*Nods considering*

Said blind date was very nice as a person. I'd enjoy him as a friend if we could get past the 'Bambi Eyes'...honestly they make me a touch uncomfortable.
I think fundamentally I'm looking for someone whom sees me as more than 'just a face.

The relation ship that ended all those years ago, I was so sure I'd spend the rest of my life with him, but apparently he liked to 'share'. (Another woman) and, to be honest I think part of me hasn't gotten over that.


The Lesbian thing made me blush enormously though. Sad as it sounds I have only the barest clue about anything past...first base. Personal prefrence from upbringing I fear but, I'm not sure I'd know what to -do- *^_^*

Originally Posted by Yeah

You'll have a relationship when you are good and ready and when you find the right person. You shouldn't let anyone else's opinion effect you.

Right! 2 years and counting for me, and honestly, with the way the last one went, I'm quite content to tread a bit more cautiously for the time being :D

I personally think being single is nothing to be ashamed of. What I do notice, and it's kind of entertaining, is that single people are jealous of nice couples, and oftentimes people who are involved in relationships (with the wrong person, obviously) equally envy single people. Which means that there are perks and downsides to either scenario.

Just let her know that you want to search for Mister right by your own and that you don't want her help. Her help is appreciated but she is kind of pushing you the same freaking guy that you didn't like due to the points of view.

It is nice to stay single and more if you like it that way and it is better when you are the one you finds Mr. Right instead of other people trying to get to hook up with someone that you don't even know.

If you're happy being single then I think you should stay that way.

Don't get into a relationship because you feel that you should just be in a relationship. It's different if passion and love take you and you want to be with someone, don't do it because it's like a requirement.

I have been happy and single for close to six years now and I don't think I'll ever go back into a relationship. I don't want the responsibility of taking care of another person's feelings and I don't want to trust my feelings to someone else only to have that betrayed again.

I knew a long time ago that I would be the type of person that would only be with one person. That one person came along and we were together for six years. But like your ex he couldn't be happy with just me and so eventually I had to let go. Maybe you are the same as me... maybe it's a trust issue... not that you can't trust someone, but more that you can't trust someone to not eventually let you down.

Let's face it, there's no one who is perfect out there and sometimes I think there are people who can happily survive on the love of friends and family without the need of another 'half' to complete them.. they're complete already.

Okay, you asked for someone with thinks like your sister to respond so here I am! LOL At least I USED to be that way.

For my entire life I always felt like I was alone, like I was missing something very important in my life. My aspiration was to get married and have my very own children. Because that's what I truly wanted out of life I couldn't for the life of me understand why someone else wouldn't also want that life. When I did finally marry (at the ripe old age of 24) I knew I found the part of me that had been missing all those years! Maybe this is partly what your sister is feeling (and as mentioned she's going through an extremely happy time of her life and she probably also wants you to have that kind of happiness).

It wasn't until much later that I met people who were perfectly happy to be on their own, living their own lives and realized different people have different needs and wants. I know couples that have been married for so many years it's like they were born that way. I know other couples who have miserable lives together and for their own sanity should be apart. I know other people who've been through spouse after spouse. And I also know many who never got into a serious relationship either by choice or by never meeting the right person who've had perfectly happy lives.

I also know what past relationships can do to our psyche. My husband had a horrible relationship that ended a couple of years before we married. I think we were married for at least two years before he ever felt like he could truly trust me. The poor guy had serious issues and we both had fears of abandonment. He talked and I listened--a lot. I agree, it is rather odd that we were married before these things were worked out but sometimes life's just like that.

At any rate, each person needs to do what's right for them, not what's right for someone else.

You know what? I think that if you are happy being single and your life is going great...which it looks like it is by your post, then you shouldn't worry about being with someone or being single...as long as you're happy, that's something that's really important for an individual. :)