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dreamseer
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#1
Old 01-07-2008, 01:37 AM

This is one of the poems I have written. Truthfully, I'm not very content with it. I was hoping that maybe people could give me some feedback of what they think of it. Here it is:


Undiscovered Miracles



Serene and peaceful
Full of dreams that ease you
A slow running river
Clouds with a touch of silver
Tall green trees
Calmly falling leaves
Sun shining bright,
Like a lamp in the night

Birds are chirping
Squirrels are searching
For something in the trees.
I wonder what it is?
Walking through a meadow
It has finally been settled
This play where I lay
I really can't say
How lovely it can be
Just by looking around me

I wish I could stay
For the rest of my days
In this gorgeous scenario
That makes me feel merrier.
Its such a lovely place
I wonder why there's no trace
Of anyone being here...
Am I the first being here?

dreamseer
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#2
Old 01-07-2008, 02:44 AM

No one?

fuyumi_saito
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#3
Old 01-07-2008, 03:23 AM

Oh, it's very pretty. It painted such a nice picture for me >_< Like a calm stream. Very subtle and pleasant ^^

Silenia
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#4
Old 01-07-2008, 05:37 PM

I quite like it myself. :) Don't really have things that you could/should change.

 


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