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`I L L U S I O N S
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#1
Old 02-03-2008, 12:57 AM

This is for my creative writing class at school. The subject was about 'going into the abyss' I chose to do a poem.
Writing is a bit rusty for me because I havnt written anything in awhile. So it might suck, sorry.
*It is not homework.*

You'll look at me,
with a stern glare,
but all you'll see,
the dark abyss of despair.
Look at me again,
what do you see?
your future has just began,
you'll just see me.

I'll take your soul,
put it in my bag,
I have one life's goal,
to protect this mission,
I must steal those,
and to make my desission.

Look at me again,
what do you see?

Re-writing this, I noticed some spelling mistakes and it was confusing...Hopefully if I write some more, I'll regain my awesome writting abilites.

So what do you think?

blip43
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#2
Old 02-03-2008, 04:42 AM

i think that it is a very good poem. that dark abyss you talk about sounds like your heart. and if you would give me the chance then i want to be the person to fill that abyss and make you whole again.

Lania
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#3
Old 02-14-2008, 09:22 AM

Very dark yet lovely, and elegant. It moved away from the abyss idea to me and more to.... a succubus, a person or creature stealing hearts and souls. Maybe you were meaning for the thief of the poem to be the one going into the abyss, or perhaps coming from it.

I hope to remember to come back and read it again once you've done your edit ^.^

`I L L U S I O N S
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#4
Old 02-14-2008, 10:25 PM

Thanks for the Tip.
I'll start the edit as soon as I get free time. ^^'

 


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