So my mom dropped a brick on my head emotionally and mentally today when she said that.

"I called your dad"

....why.. Really, I don't know what to do. My mom wants me to talk to him tomorrow..but it's honestly like talking to a stranger, who ignored you the one time you met him. I'm not a little kid anymore so..he can't do that again.. I don't know..

I don't know if I wanna talk to him. I don't want this drama in my life.

I don't know him, he doesn't know me.. why bother? He'll probably as questions like "do you have a boyfriend?" "no"

Don't know if he'll be relieved or puzzled by that. I don't know him, what he's like, or anything.. I don't know.

Plus he wants me to go out to California and stay with him for the summer...*head falls down* Don't know if I want that..

Fuyumi, my papa is similar. I talk to him more often then you do to yours, but it's like talking to a stranger. I love and hate the man at the same time. I'd feel nervous about it too. I wouldn't know what to do if my papa wanted me to come stay with him and visit. It's been a plan for a long time that my papa would come see me, but only with tons of people around.

Oh I see. So you know what this is like.. That's good to know ^^..

I'm not his only kid. He has custody of two of his other kids, then two others that are with his mom.. Yeah.. he's not bad looking, I guess.

I don't know if staying with him.. is the best. he doesn't know me, I don't know him.. so yeah... doesn't matter if he is my "dad" but still..

Seems unfair. Why mess with your life now when he's chosen to stay away this long? It's nice he's wanting to bond...but it just seems to me to be too little too late.

Yeah..I am 18 now.. so. it's a bit late. but he lost contact with my mom..so yeah...

Wow..I think I'm worse on my pills then I am off of them..*twitches*.. I need to call someone about this...

I don't think your mom should put you in that situation if you feel uncomfortable.

Talk to her about it and tell her how much you really don't want to spend time with or talk to your dad.

I wouldn't want to either if I was in your shoes.

Well, it's really up to you whether you want to see him or not. Don't feel like you have to, but if you want to see him, at least visit with him for a little bit. I don't know about living with him for the summer though. I would only try that if the visit goes really well and you feel like it's something you should try. Living with new people...or even people you've been with forever...can be really hard, so if you're happy with your current living situation, I wouldn't be so quick to change it. Do you know why he wants you to come live with him all of the sudden?

It should not be an eye for an eye if you don't need the eye you're taking. Defend yourself yes, but offend others just cause you can?...nuh. That's a bit cruel.

Would any part of you vaguely regret never meeting your father if he were to die tomorrow?

Yeah he made mistakes, maybe he hadn't a clue how to deal with the issues in his life at that time...so perhaps he wasn't able to figure out how to talk to you because he had no answers..but by wanting to meet up, even if it's late, he is at least in his own way, taking the first step towards an apology and making it up to you. If you're unwilling to even let people apologize, you never know what you might miss out on.

Humans are humans, we make mistakes, but that he is willing to say sorry and try to do something to make it up to you is at least a start. Try it on the condition that if you don't like it you can fly back at any time.

Try. Even if he failed you in the past, try. Every relationship whether it's parent and child or you and your spouse requires effort from both parties.

Forgive, be patient sometimes, it works wonders.

o.o;;
why wuld your mom put yooh in a situation that yooh hate? o.o;;
anywayz
why dun yooh talk to your mom about it and have her talk to your dad again?

Well if you really are eighteen as you say, you're legally an adult. No one has the right to make you do what you don't want to.

I have a similar situation. I'm not close to my father at all. It's been a lot of years since i've seen him. And for a long time I convinced myself that I hated him. But one day I sat down with my thoughts and realized I didn't know him... at all. And I just couldn't hate someone I don't know. He was just a stranger.

@Muggles
I don't know..I..maybe she wants to get rid of me..

@Juniper
Thank you ^^..that seems like..a very good idea..I'll do that I think

@Scarlet
I forgave him..easily..but..I still resent him a little, and my mom. It's not just his fault.. Besides..I kinda have to go now..

@Kandii
I don't know..she's.. one of those people who wants to fix everything

@Captain
Yeah..but I could get kicked out..

Thanks..It's nice knowing..someone who's going almost through the exact same thing ^^...

~~UPDATE~~
My mom made me talk to my dad..and he really wants me to come out to california. I talked to my half brother and sister..and found out that I have another half-older brother. His name is Andrew...

So I have...6 siblings from my dad now it seems.. and...4 from my mom..meaning ten O_o...geez..my father needs self-control classes >_>"

anyway, so...I found out the real reason my father wants me out there, is so that if he screws up again, my little brother and sister won't have to go to foster care again.

The foster care system sucks..I know that..like..he's using me..but he says he loves me and stuff..but I know in a way that he wants me to be there just for...their sake and cause..he..loves me cause I'm his daughter, and my grandparents hate him so that's why he hasn't been in my life..so..I don't know..

I think I'll do it though..so I can take care of my siblings.. and...maybe start a new chapter in my life. Cause..their mom is dead..so is our grandma..if he goes to jail, they go into the system.. Hopefully he won't go to jail again.

So you're gonna call him anyways? There will be drama :'D
Anyways, I wish you luck. It can be really tough talking with a stranger[ I know how you feel, I had to talk with a childhood friend on the phone and a person my mom forced me to talk to from online ] , or especially your father that just suddenly wants to contact you when you are 18. Just be ready for what you are in for, if there is going to be anything, when you do call him :'3

It's not just his fault?

@ your update.
You are either sure he wants to keep in contact because he loves you or because he doesn't want them in foster. It can't be both, because then it feels uncomfortable, more so than just saying he needed you for this and that, not because he loves you, at least I figure so.

Your new chapter in life is drama if you are gonna get involved. I hope everything goes well for the kids and for you.

Why don't you tell your mom about your feelings? It's just pretty awkward to talk to someone you haven't talked to for years. It also kind of complicates things. And is your dad truly okay with this? Well if he's reaching out maybe you should give him a chance. No judgments. Maybe... just maybe... you'll find out he's nice.

Originally Posted by fuyumi_saito

~~UPDATE~~
My mom made me talk to my dad..and he really wants me to come out to california. I talked to my half brother and sister..and found out that I have another half-older brother. His name is Andrew...

So I have...6 siblings from my dad now it seems.. and...4 from my mom..meaning ten O_o...geez..my father needs self-control classes >_>"

anyway, so...I found out the real reason my father wants me out there, is so that if he screws up again, my little brother and sister won't have to go to foster care again.

The foster care system sucks..I know that..like..he's using me..but he says he loves me and stuff..but I know in a way that he wants me to be there just for...their sake and cause..he..loves me cause I'm his daughter, and my grandparents hate him so that's why he hasn't been in my life..so..I don't know..

I think I'll do it though..so I can take care of my siblings.. and...maybe start a new chapter in my life. Cause..their mom is dead..so is our grandma..if he goes to jail, they go into the system.. Hopefully he won't go to jail again.

Well, I wish you luck if you decide to go into this new chapter.
Though I do have some questions ^^;
Is the move going to be permanent?
Any plans for after high school? College or a job?
Of course, the second question(s?) kind of depend on the first question I guess...

Well, don't do anything you're not comfortable with. Maybe talk to him a little bit, see what you can find out about him. And, since you have him on the phone, don't be afraid to ask the serious questions; "Why have you never had anything to do with me, Dad?"
If you don't feel comfortable going and staying with him, then don't. If it were me I wouldn't. He shouldn't expect you to either, since you don't know him at all.
And maybe ask your mom why she called him anyway, and why she wants you to talk to him all of a sudden.

Best of luck to you.

@Kimu
...well.. I ..sorta..didn't call him ^^" I wimped out. so maybe tomorrow. *feels guilty*

It's my mom and grandparents fault too. My grandparents lied and said that my father moved out of state, when he had not. he actually got sick and had to go to surgery..and my mom didn't tell me about my father till I was 10.

So, he could have been in my life sooner, but since she was married, she decided "no..even though I'm now marrying an abusive man, I shouldn't bother letting my daughter know who her father is. Just let her think she's half mexican for a few years.." -_-' anyway yeah... she got divorced, married to another guy who's not a jerk..so it's all..good I guess.

I don't want the drama..but my mom is kinda forcing it on me.. if you met her, you'd understand.

@Joih
my mom doesn't really listen to me. She's very busy usually, so.. like.. she thinks I'm just being ungrateful after all she did to track him down and stuff..so..yeah ...

@Secretdae

Is the move going to be permanent?
Any plans for after high school? College or a job?
Of course, the second question(s?) kind of depend on the first question I guess...

Thanks for the luck..umm.. The move..

Well my mom says it won't be permanent, my father says it will be. so.. I think it's up to me in the end..and.. I don't want to leave Michigan. I honestly love this horrible place XD

I'm going to go to college, and I'm getting a job right now..so no worries there.. ^^

@Haven
well..the whole him not being in my life is because he wanted to be in my life, my grandparents don't want him to be, my mom is a bit iffy about it, but she thinks it's good that I talk to him..and my step dad doesn't want me to have another dad XD(he's just jealous, since he's spent more time with me than my father has and he doesn't wanna be replaced, you know?)

I think I know why.. I'm 1/4 Native american..so... I can get benefits from that from the government..and...yeah..