Lately I have been on the verge of crying my eyes out. I can feel my eyes tearing up, but no tears fall. I feel alone... there is truly one person I can trust, and that is my boyfriend... but I feel as though he shouldn't trust me. I also feel that because I am with him it is causing issues between me and I thought was my best friend. I don't know whether I can talk to her anymore; we are just so distant. I also blame myself because I just don't care anymore. I just wish I could die and get it over with. I can't stand the feeling that only one person is still there for me, yet I can't see them cause they are on the other side of the country. Nobody seems to understand that I'm suffering inside. I just want to leave where I live so badly so I could be with him, just to escape where I am... I can't stand to be around these people anymore. They drive me crazy... even my family. I don't think they even care anymore, and it's eating me away. It's almost as though there is nothing left of me. I keep wondering what the hell is wrong with me... is it because I don't care? Or is it because I really am alone in this world?

No, I think you're in a time where you just feel lost. I think everyone at one point in their lives feels like this. You're not alone and don't fret. Happiness will find you, it's impossible to always be lonely and sad. Find the one thing that you can do for yourself and make the best of it.

You'll be happy. You can't always be happy and you can't always be sad. You need one to make the other. Just bare through it, try hard to live through each and every day. Try to make yourself happy and you'll find that happiness will find you.

I hope this helps you. I hate to hear that anyone feels this way. *smiles* I bet that your life will take a turn for the best.

I sure hope so... I liked the days when I was happy. It seems I'm happy when I talk to my boyfriend... I'm thankful he's the one I love... ^^'

=] I wouldn't worry about the crying thing. Usually when people feel like they're going to cry but don't it usually because you don't feel safe enough to cry in whatever place you're in.

If you love your boyfriend you wouldn't hurt him by killing yourself, would you? Or even attempting it? It hurts when the person you love a lot tries to kill themselve ... ^_^ My boyfriend tried a little while ago. You feel useless. It's not a nice thing to do to someone.

And sometimes when you have a boyfriend it feels like you're more distant from your friends when actually you're just closer to boyfriend then you were with friends. :/ Then again it depends on the 'issues'.

I'm sure that if you spend time typing that up, explaining it clearly than you want to find someone and probably will find someone who knows what you're going through or maybe find a bunch of people that have felt certains bits of it - either way people help and people care.

You're never really alone. They'll always be someone there. Always. And maybe you've just entered the part of your life where you become a little empty, you don't care, you wouldn't mind taking your own life etc. I assure you it gets better ^_^ Because life is worth living!

*smiles* You will. I believe that it's impossible to be unhappy all the time, you have to have happiness.


Just don't give up on it, and things will get better.

I agree with clair.

it may seem like there is no hope, but don't give up!
sometimes when you are at your lowest place, you are about to reach the best,

i know being alone sucks, like heck D=

i remember a few years ago when i was in a similar situation. I had no one at all who i could trust, other than Ithir and a few internet friends on gaia who i had just met then too D=

if you ever need a friend, or just an ear to listen, i am ALWAYS available! =D

Talk to your boyfriend as much as you can, and instead of wishing you could be with him, be thankful for him. The people around you will become bearable. You'll cheer up. It's impossible to be sad all the time. ^^

And when you feel like you're about to cry, don't be afraid to let it out in private. Holding it in does no good. I promise.

I think you are going under a horriblke depression...step one, tell your family, prove you are wrong aske them deeply if they care and if they question you then tell them why you feel that way like ignored and lack of attention ...
2) try to consult a therapist or try to find a pharmacy that sells bach drops it is alternative therapy that really heals the soul but you have to read a book about them or go online for information before you ask the pharmacy a bottle.It really helped me in moments like this (they are drugs free it is homeopathy) and they are cheap.
3) write a letter to your friend take it all out tell her what is going on with you and if you can CALL HE after the letter.
4) talk about this with your bf he will comfort you and make you feel better, hug eachother a lot even virtually.
5) If you ever need to talk to someone I'm here for you , you are not as alone as you think you are ok? =) Im Trinity you can pm me,

Originally Posted by from above

I also feel that because I am with him it is causing issues between me and I thought was my best friend. I don't know whether I can talk to her anymore; we are just so distant.

Can you clarify really quickly...I'm kind of trying to understand. You love your boyfriend but he's far away, but you liking this guy is causing issues with your best friend? Why is that? Why exactly does your best friend distance themselves from you just because you like this guy?

Can you better describe your best friend and this guy you like? Why are they clashing? I think that's a starting point.

Figure out why they don't get along or why your best friend doesn't like your boyfriend, and then figure out how to explain to the best friend, how much this guy means to you.

Though you keep saying you want to die, I think that's a silly idea. By dying you accomplish nothing; neither your best friend nor your boyfriend would be happy with it, whereas if you remain alive, you can at least keep one happy. The goal is to make both happy. Take a step back, breathe, and figure out what exactly it is that needs to be resolved.

Problems are like a ball of tangled string. It may not look like it, but there IS an end to the durn thing, it's just a matter of untangling, not burning nor cutting the string.

I don't really know the situation why you are feeling this way. I also don't know why the people around makes you like that. But you are in control of your own emotions. If you want something to happen to you, you should take control and make it happen.

Your emotions should not be dependent on how others react to you. People are not perfect. They can be idiots that can't understand your feelings. It happens all the time. But you don't need to go gauging people if you're okay or not. No one likes emotionally dependent people.

You have to establish yourself first. Know yourself and take control of your life. Have a goal. Don't be dependent on other people. Know you can survive even when you're alone. Of course you'll say "I'm alone, that's sad" My answer is "So what!" It is in how you handle the situation that counts.