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Wednesday
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#1
Old 02-29-2008, 08:05 PM

This will be a thread of my poems. :3 <3



Here's the first one; called save me:

Save me from this hellish void called life
Which the gods of heaven put down on me
I call out to you searching for your light in my darkness
My only hope for salvation which will free me from my torment
I look frantically hoping to see a glimmer of light
But all I see is the darkness of myself shrowding over you
Consuming every part of you
I try to stop it..
But I am helpless in the end
All of my thoughts of salvation are gone
Every hope in my heart for you..
Is gone..
I try to remember your light
But I fail to see it everytime.
Why can't I remember?
That beautiful light...
Which would save me from myself?



Second poem called; shattered at the end:

The pieces of the heart that you have broken
Yurn to feel your presence
They are tied..
Tied to the touch of your cold heart..
The cold yet kind heart I feel in love with
If only, just for a second, the peices could come back together..
But that is only a joke..
For how can a shattered mirror pick it's self up..
When no one cared when it was together?
They say "Buy a new one, this one is no good"
But how can you do that to a heart?
Hearts that have truely been broken by someone they are tied to
Will never be the same..
Corrupted by the pain of something felt to be missing
When you question..Was it ever there to begin with?
As you remember...
remember back to the time when the cold heart
Loved you as you loved them..
But, eventually...
cold hearts can never love someone
who was wounded from the start
And shattered at the end.





This one's a bit... dramatic? >.< So, sorry if it kinda disturbs you.


Crimson blood:

Crimson blood dripping from my finger tips
As much as I wanted it to be your blood...It's mine.
As much as I want to erase everything I did to you..
I couldn't face myself anymore.
I hate myself for hurting you.
I hate that I can't make it right.
If only I could move on...if only I didn't love you.
The only thing I can do is try to make myself forget.
Try to drown everything in red.
But, that only works for a minute..
After the blood is spilt I still can't stop thinking of you.
I just want to leave you.
But, I realize living with out you would be harder than this.
I can't leave this world.
And I can't leave you.
As much as it hurts I can't do it.
I need you. I need you more than anyone.
So please...just stay with me alittle longer?
I'm sorry for everything...please believe me.
As the crimson blood pours out...
I realize I can never be with you.

oHsoDemandinG
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#2
Old 02-29-2008, 10:34 PM

Good Job with your poems. I like them.

Wednesday
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#3
Old 03-01-2008, 01:49 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by oHsoDemandinG
Good Job with your poems. I like them.
Thank you very much. ^-^

Kyuuki
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#4
Old 03-03-2008, 06:25 AM

they show a lot of promise, but they're a bit, how to put it... stereotypical, their subjects overdone. granted, stuff like that can be cathartic at times, but unless one has the skill and polish they can't be completely pulled off as quality.

however, I do see something in those than I don't often see in internet poetry of that ilk. the flow is good, if you work on flowing syllable patterns and incorporate them into your works it could shine even more, but even without it the flow is an interesting natural one rather than one that looks forced or unnatural.

I'd really like to see some stuff by you that takes that into heart.

Wednesday
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#5
Old 03-03-2008, 10:37 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kyuuki
they show a lot of promise, but they're a bit, how to put it... stereotypical, their subjects overdone. granted, stuff like that can be cathartic at times, but unless one has the skill and polish they can't be completely pulled off as quality.

however, I do see something in those than I don't often see in internet poetry of that ilk. the flow is good, if you work on flowing syllable patterns and incorporate them into your works it could shine even more, but even without it the flow is an interesting natural one rather than one that looks forced or unnatural.

I'd really like to see some stuff by you that takes that into heart.
Thank you. ^-^ The only reason that they're all like that is because I only write when I really have an emotional breakdown or just have a very over whelming feeling to express. Which is pretty much why I only have about 3 or 4 poems, they were times in my life when I felt the worse. I've tried to write poems on a normal happy-go-lucky day, but it didn't flow well enough. >.<;

Wednesday
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#6
Old 03-05-2008, 04:16 PM

Trying to liven it up in here... I'll try to get a new poem by tomorrow... I have so much homework I have to do today... ;_;

 


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