Thread Tools

Archbow
\ (•◡•) /
436.11
Send a message via Yahoo to Archbow
Archbow is offline
 
#1
Old 03-25-2008, 06:01 PM

tl;dr to bottom if too long.

Ok, so my brother and his girlfriend live at my house, and they have a now 4 month old baby. Well when m y brother isn't home the gf usually takes care of the baby )or me when she wants to do smoke, or computer, or watch tv.. or a lot of stuff. >< But when my brother comes home from his partying, she puts him in front of the baby.

She automatically hands the baby off to someone and babes my brother with affection. Well they got this new thing going. The baby is now 4 months old, and just now starting to realize stuff around her. Well instead of holding the baby and calming her till she falls asleep, they put her in this swing and she swings there crying until she cries herself to sleeep. They call it breaking her of being held.

Well I just walked out of my room to a baby screaming bloody murder, and they're laying on the couch together being all lovey dovey couple nibble kiss type junk. The tv is blaring hip-hop, and they seem to be ignoring the baby. I called them on it and told them to hold her. We argued and I got fed up and took my shower.

The baby is still crying and in the swing and I want to know, at 4 months, should they be breaking her of being held to sleep or am I right?


Correction: Not really my house. I said this since my brother moed out a whle ago. So it was basically my parents and I. Well when she got pregnant they moved here since our house was far cleaner and welcoming than hers. So I still see them as long term guests since they don't do jack here. Dx

StripedSocks`
\ (•◡•) /
168.20
StripedSocks` is offline
 
#2
Old 03-25-2008, 06:06 PM


I think they should be holding her instead of just neglecting her. That's not good for the baby's character at all, regardless of her age. They're in for a rude awakening as she gets older, I can tell you that.

Melody
(づ ̄ ³ ̄) ...

Penpal
11795.67
Send a message via AIM to Melody Send a message via MSN to Melody
Melody is offline
 
#3
Old 03-25-2008, 06:09 PM

If the baby likes to be rocked to sleep fine the swing works wonders. (I used one a lot with my twins...because as they got older they were too much for me to rock by myself!) But no, if the baby is screaming they should be paying attention to her. Perhaps the baby isn't tired, maybe it's hungry, or needs a diaper change. My son wouldn't sleep if his diaper was wet. And I do think that 4 months is too soon to be breaking them of being held. Because they still can't move around on their own. 9-12 months is ideal in my head. Since the baby can crawl/roll over/walk by then.
Cuddling with kids lets them know that they are loved. I still hold my kids >.> (ages 3, and twins 18 months) It is a reassuring sign of affection for kids.
:/ I'm a little disappointed in how they just kinda pass te baby off. I was just barely 18 when my oldest was born, and you would be hard pressed to find a moment that I wanted to give her to someone else. I <3 My babies. They are a symbol of the love I have with my husband. I wish more parents saw kids that way. *sigh*

@wtf at te dad getting back from partying? who is working to support the family D:

Archbow
\ (•◡•) /
436.11
Send a message via Yahoo to Archbow
Archbow is offline
 
#4
Old 03-25-2008, 06:13 PM

Melody: As I said, they live at my house.. well parents house. So my mom and dad put the food on the table, and we urge them to get a job. My brother can't hold one because he hates to work and he likes to party, and the mother doesn't like working either so she uses "I don't like daycare" as an excuse to not work.

Popcorn Gun
(。⌒∇⌒)&...

Penpal
6070.45
Popcorn Gun is offline
 
#5
Old 03-25-2008, 06:14 PM

Four months is waaay to old to start that. So you can tell them right now that that is b.s. It's your house, lay down some rules for them.

They're just being irresponsible, and from what you say, it looks like they don't even really want a child. They don't seem to be ready for that, so I don't know why they let her get pregnant. I'd threaten them with child or social services if they don't shape up, and don't let them be idle threats. If they seriously aren't good parents, why let the baby suffer? There have been plenty of kids that were mentally and physically screwed up, because they were left to cry.

Seiously, all that screaming isn't good for the voice.

Baja
(。⌒∇⌒)&...
116.77
Send a message via AIM to Baja
Baja is offline
 
#6
Old 03-25-2008, 06:14 PM

They should be paying attention to their baby. And not just set it in a swing, and walk off like their work is done. Having a child is a 24/7 deal you can't just get tired of your child, and abandon your responsibilities.

Melody
(づ ̄ ³ ̄) ...

Penpal
11795.67
Send a message via AIM to Melody Send a message via MSN to Melody
Melody is offline
 
#7
Old 03-25-2008, 06:17 PM

:/ Kick your brother into the military XD They provide housing for families etc and it will be a wonderful wake up call for both of them to get their lives together and straight. My husband is in the Coast Guard. Like I said, I was young when I had my daughter, and he was the same age as me. We didn't want to depend on our parents for our lives and what we choose to do with them sooo we did what we had to.

I guess them just not having the drive to do anything besides want to make more babies is what disturbs me the most. :/ Do they have health insurance? do they take the baby to the doctors? Babies need a lot of shots to keep them healthy. Not to mention if the mom smokes other things could go wrong >.< I feel bad for the kid. It's nice that mommy and daddy get a long so well. but when it gets to the point that they are ignoring the baby they made and have a responsibility to there is a problem.


[edit] popcorn gun- actually some doctors will reccommend that you let your baby scream for a little bit. it strengthens the lungs. But that is mainly when they wake up from naps/sleep at night. Sometimes babies will wake up tired and cry because they are tired. I would normally wait 2-3 minutes before going to get my kids when they would wake up because 1/2 the time they went back to sleep >.<

Archbow
\ (•◡•) /
436.11
Send a message via Yahoo to Archbow
Archbow is offline
 
#8
Old 03-25-2008, 06:20 PM

Melody: Well.... they don't get along so well really. It's odd.. they're perfectly fine till my brother wants to go out, then giant argument ending in me brning the baby to my room while they argue.

But since they live here the baby is perfectly fine and paid attention to as long as I'm here, or my parents are here.

Popcorn Gun
(。⌒∇⌒)&...

Penpal
6070.45
Popcorn Gun is offline
 
#9
Old 03-25-2008, 06:25 PM

Melody:
I know some screaming is ok, but the wa it's typed up there, makes it seem like the child is screaming for way longer than a couple minutes.

If it's left screaming for too long though (hours) it has a negative effect on it's health.

Like when you cheer at a game and you cheer too loud to long, your throat hurts. With that you know when to stop, what's your limit, but a baby will keep going until it either can't scream anymore or it's given what it needs, be it a bottle, a diaper change, or just some kind of love or affection.

Melody
(づ ̄ ³ ̄) ...

Penpal
11795.67
Send a message via AIM to Melody Send a message via MSN to Melody
Melody is offline
 
#10
Old 03-25-2008, 06:30 PM

I would be pissed if my boyfriend/husband wanted to go out partying all the time and leave me with the baby constantly too.
His girlfriend could have a mild post partum depression thing going on. She needs him to help support her and the baby not wander off all the time. ^^;; I would go crazy if my husband left me to go party. Perhaps you could give the two of them a break once a week (say friday night) so that they could go out and have some time with out the baby (I will admit that babies DO strain a relationship, specially when they are so young because neither party is getting much sleep and both tend to be rather cranky) It gives both of them time off. But any other day of the week they need to take care of THEIR baby.
Just a thought. ^^;; Maybe once a month or something. I dunno. I just remember when my kids were newborns up to about 9 months that once in a while i needed to get out too. Just to remember that I am more then just a mommy.

Zombie Zombie
⊙ω⊙
1689.22
Send a message via AIM to Zombie Zombie Send a message via MSN to Zombie Zombie Send a message via Yahoo to Zombie Zombie
Zombie Zombie is offline
 
#11
Old 03-25-2008, 06:31 PM

And that's how you get to have no positive feelings toward your parents whatsoever! : D
Or at least one way.
I think that would probably mess with social skills, too, in a way.

Archbow
\ (•◡•) /
436.11
Send a message via Yahoo to Archbow
Archbow is offline
 
#12
Old 03-25-2008, 06:35 PM

Melody: That's the thing! Dx They never lose sleep. It's always me, mom or dad doing the dirty work pretty much. This may just be me venting but they never do any hard work with the baby. he most she does is feed her, and I'm more of a father to the baby then he is. Dx

Din
⊙ω⊙
599.34
Din is offline
 
#13
Old 03-25-2008, 07:55 PM

Your parents should kick them out if they both refuse to be productive. Or make them pay rent.
If your brother's old enough to fuck some girl, he's old enough to support the child.

On a side note... that can't be good for the child's emotional health.
Something should be done. =/

anti-hearted
Dead Account Holder
429.00
Send a message via AIM to anti-hearted Send a message via Yahoo to anti-hearted
anti-hearted is offline
 
#14
Old 03-25-2008, 08:16 PM

that is abusive behavior to a child of 4 months, a child should be broken of her holding habit of around 6-7 months. but they should spend more time with the child.

Hug
⊙ω⊙
1582.57
Send a message via AIM to Hug
Hug is offline
 
#15
Old 03-25-2008, 08:24 PM

They can break the child of being held at whatever age they feel is appropriate, but... omigod poor baby. TT___TT

Four months seems awfully young...
I hope the baby doesn't feel abandoned. It could have an unclear reason for needing to be held. ._.;;

Rubber Lemons
⊙ω⊙
204.20
Rubber Lemons is offline
 
#16
Old 03-25-2008, 08:26 PM

i dont think this is good for the baby. if the swinging actually works to get the baby to sleep, good for them, but looking at the baby's reaction, this is not good.

Scribble Me Orange
(っ◕‿◕)&...
7.70
Scribble Me Orange is offline
 
#17
Old 03-25-2008, 08:32 PM

You know, I think you should ignore the fact that they're ignoring the baby, and you take responsibility for holding her and doing all that baby-like stuff that needs to be done. Then give them a god damn reality check and be like. "You know, I've been doing everything for this little girl. She's YOUR baby and you don't even have enough common sense to take care of her at ALL!"

You should take on the part of 'father' for about a week. because that's fucking neglect, what they're doing to her.

Vickicat
(っ◕‿◕)&...
572.00
Send a message via AIM to Vickicat Send a message via MSN to Vickicat Send a message via Yahoo to Vickicat
Vickicat is offline
 
#18
Old 03-25-2008, 08:37 PM

This is something they should have thought of before having a baby. One reason I don't want kids is that I always want to be able to have time to just snuggle and cuddle with my boyfriend, and not have to worry about taking care of a baby. If that's something that is more important to them than paying attention to their child, they shouldn't have had one. :| Being that she had the kid, they both need to be taking care of it better. I don't know much about raising children, but I don't think you're supposed to break them of being held. I'm pretty sure babies should be held often and given lots of love and attention. As they get older I would think they'd somewhat break themselves of it.

Moocat
*^_^*
477.39
Send a message via AIM to Moocat Send a message via MSN to Moocat
Moocat is offline
 
#19
Old 03-25-2008, 09:01 PM

Honestly, that's ridiculous.

Unfortunately, since you don't own the place, I guess you can't kick them out at your will. >:

But if I were you, if you are old enough, maybe you should try and find a place to live. xD

I mean, I wouldn't try and put up with that. It's rather ridiculous to be put in charge of someone else's kid when they are capable. Not only that but neither of them seem to support themselves.

Maybe talk to your parents about it.

moonhail
Dead Account Holder
119.41
moonhail is offline
 
#20
Old 03-25-2008, 09:15 PM

Pretty sure that's neglect. Call them on it, and if they keep it up you should contact child services.
That's one thing that really ticks me off. I may not like kids very much, but if you don't know how to take care of your damn kid, then you shouldn't have one or give it to someone who actually wants a baby and can take care of one. God knows there's a ton of women that are incapable of having children.

serafim_azriel
ʘ‿ʘ
1227.69
serafim_azriel is offline
 
#21
Old 03-25-2008, 09:24 PM

My opinion:
Your parents should threaten to kick them out if they don't get jobs. They are parents! That's their responsibility! If they were too stupid to use BC or a condom, then they should either give the baby up for adoption or actually buckle down and take care of it!

Moonhail is right, that is child neglect from the sound of it. They could get their baby taken away. From the sounds of it, they don't deserve her.

My opinion.

smolder
(っ◕‿◕)&...
2889.45
smolder is offline
 
#22
Old 03-26-2008, 12:36 AM

Thats horrible. I don't care how old the child is you should show them affection when they are upset not just blatantly ignore them. I can't understand how people can treat their own child, or an child really with such indifference.

freeglader of the edge
27.13
Send a message via AIM to freeglader of the edge Send a message via MSN to freeglader of the edge
freeglader of the edge is offline
 
#23
Old 03-26-2008, 07:11 AM

at four months? thats a little too young for neglect to settle in >_> they should have put the baby to sleep in another room then got all lovey dovey!

mystic kiwi
(っ◕‿◕)&...
0.00
Send a message via AIM to mystic kiwi
mystic kiwi is offline
 
#24
Old 03-26-2008, 09:22 AM

That's exactly why some people should not have kids. Seems like your brother needs to grow up if he can't even be responsible enough to hold a job. I mean, it's not that hard, really. I go out and party, but I also can hold a full time job and am on time and there daily for work when I need to work. It's really not that hard to balance having a social life and having a job at the same time.

hathsnap
Banned
252.78
hathsnap is offline
 
#25
Old 03-26-2008, 11:25 AM

If the baby likes to be rocked to sleep fine the swing works wonders. (I used one a lot with my twins...because as they got older they were too much for me to rock by myself!) But no, if the baby is screaming they should be paying attention to her. Perhaps the baby isn't tired, maybe it's hungry, or needs a diaper change. My son wouldn't sleep if his diaper was wet. And I do think that 4 months is too soon to be breaking them of being held. Because they still can't move around on their own. 9-12 months is ideal in my head. Since the baby can crawl/roll over/walk by then.
Cuddling with kids lets them know that they are loved.

That's exactly why some people should not have kids. Seems like your brother needs to grow up if he can't even be responsible enough to hold a job. I mean, it's not that hard, really. I go out and party, but I also can hold a full time job and am on time and there daily for work when I need to work. It's really not that hard to balance having a social life and having a job at the same time.

Thats horrible. I don't care how old the child is you should show them affection when they are upset not just blatantly ignore them. I can't understand how people can treat their own child, or an child really with such indifference.

Your parents should threaten to kick them out if they don't get jobs. They are parents! That's their responsibility! If they were too stupid to use BC or a condom, then they should either give the baby up for adoption or actually buckle down and take care of it!

Pretty sure that's neglect. Call them on it, and if they keep it up you should contact child services.
That's one thing that really ticks me off. I may not like kids very much, but if you don't know how to take care of your damn kid, then you shouldn't have one or give it to someone who actually wants a baby and can take care of one. God knows there's a ton of women that are incapable of having children.

This is something they should have thought of before having a baby. One reason I don't want kids is that I always want to be able to have time to just snuggle and cuddle with my boyfriend, and not have to worry about taking care of a baby. If that's something that is more important to them than paying attention to their child, they shouldn't have had one. Being that she had the kid, they both need to be taking care of it better. I don't know much about raising children, but I don't think you're supposed to break them of being held. I'm pretty sure babies should be held often and given lots of love and attention. As they get older I would think they'd somewhat break themselves of it.

You know, I think you should ignore the fact that they're ignoring the baby, and you take responsibility for holding her and doing all that baby-like stuff that needs to be done. Then give them a god damn reality check and be like. "You know, I've been doing everything for this little girl. She's YOUR baby and you don't even have enough common sense to take care of her at ALL!"

I would be pissed if my boyfriend/husband wanted to go out partying all the time and leave me with the baby constantly too.
His girlfriend could have a mild post partum depression thing going on. She needs him to help support her and the baby not wander off all the time. I would go crazy if my husband left me to go party. Perhaps you could give the two of them a break once a week so that they could go out and have some time with out the baby I will admit that babies DO strain a relationship, specially when they are so young because neither party is getting much sleep and both tend to be rather cranky It gives both of them time off. But any other day of the week they need to take care of THEIR baby.
Just a thought. Maybe once a month or something. I dunno. I just remember when my kids were newborns up to about 9 months that once in a while i needed to get out too. Just to remember that I am more then just a mommy.

And that's how you get to have no positive feelings toward your parents whatsoever! : D
Or at least one way.
I think that would probably mess with social skills, too, in a way.

Your parents should kick them out if they both refuse to be productive. Or make them pay rent.
If your brother's old enough to bum some girl, he's old enough to support the child.

 


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 

 
Forum Jump

no new posts