Because the Flying Fish bought them all from the under-water K-mart

Why is my cat staring at me creepily?

Because it's waiting for you to hurry up and die so it can eat your decaying flesh. That way, it'll make the evening news when they find your body, and it'll be famous and all the local cats will be jealous.

Why does the majority of people seem to be addicted to television?

Because the majority of television is addicted to peoples.

Why are tigers and zebras stripped, but leopards and dalmations are spotted?

Millions of years ago, everything had spots. But one day it rained and the paint was still wet. The leopards and dalmations were smart and hid in the shelter, the zebras and tigers hid under trees where rain still got through and streaked the paint and humans were idiots and danced around in the rain. That's why we ain't got spots either.

Why do people seem to think smart people are mature too?

Because they've got their definitions garbled.

Why do people have different hair colors?

If we were all brunette we wouldn't have dumb blonds or cute red heads =3

Why does fire burn?

Because it's hoppin mad!

Why do fish blow bubbles?

They're actually fish-burps; they eat too much fermented sea gunk.

Why did the Harry Potter movie producers mess up all the movies after the second one?

because the producers turned into ducks

Why do Plutarians eat Cheese Muffins?

Because they took a trip to the moon.

Why do people have toes?

Because the needed something to wiggle in their socks.

Why is meat made out of animals?

Because it'd be wood if it was made out of plants.

Why do monkeys chuck poo at people?

Because they want to make sure they can smell ya coming next time.

Why do I spend most of my available day on the computer? (mostly on here XD)

Because you're addicted like me o_O

Why do people always seem to do weird stuff to get phone reception?

because they are secretly fear its not the phone, that they are going def.

Why do we buy stuff we dont need?

Because inside we're all shopaholics.

When will I finally get an A in something??

When the trumpet sounds for the Second Coming!

Is life really just some fictional story that someone, somewhere, is writing?

Of course it is XD

Why is there gravity?

Because if there wasn't, every day would be a bad hair day and juggling knifes would be even more dangerous.

Why are there so many songs about rainbows and whats on the other side? (insert melody, lol).

Because everyone deep down has a desire to get on that rainbow and let it take them away.

Why's the sky blue again?

Because it's waiting for the day it can morph into pink.

Why does my hand randomly hurt?

Maybe you should pay more attention to that cannibal, I've heard he likes hands... o.O

What happens when you smash a computer mouse into a living, breathing mouse?

You get a mixed breed.

Why are there water falls but not water rises?

Because the water likes to fall.

How come the sun rise in the east and sets in the west, and not the other way around?

Because he likes a good egg foo young breakfast and a nice marguerita in the evening.

Why am I so thirsty?