To Playmouth Rock to dance with the Pilgrims.


Who was to freak who decided to make pennies out of flowers?

The same guy who robbed the Senior Center. :O

Why did the penguin cross the Straight of Megellan?

To get to the other chicken.
Why does antelope eat very cereal?

Because it was the only thing he could find.

Why does caffine make you tired sometimes?

Because its make of turkey.


Why do turtles fly with goats?

Because there the best of friends!

Why can you lay down but not lay up?

Because gravity is a lie made up by the butterflies



Why does lime go well with chicken?

Because lemon goes well with lime.

Why is there no "I" in "me"?

Because I and me had a fight and are no longer speaking.

Why do I get along with boys better?

Because girls are made of sugar



Why arent butterflies made of green butter?

Because they're made of flies.

Why can't whales walk?

because there to lazy too

Why do farts stink?

Because they want to make you feel awkward.

Why do cows go moo?

Because your mother threw you down the stupid tree and you hit every branch.

Where are my shoes?

Probably on your head, where they should be!

Why is Arnold Schwarzenegger the governor of California?

So when the machines rise up and revolt or something, the Terminator will be waiting.

Is grass made of bacon grease?

No! its made of jellybeans! Silly

How do you tell a good germ from a bad one?

The bad ones have guns. Obviously, psh.

Why is there more than one planet?

Because there's more than one planet.

Where do yawns and sneezes come from??

Dark places where the sun can never each them.
Why does the whale on my desk have paws? O_o

Sins of nature.

Can I offer you some fine Romanian bunny meat?

No because that is not real!

Why do they call them moo tubes?

Because cows rock your socks.

Why is cheese made out of milk?

Because if we made it out of apple juice it'd be pee-colored.

Why do I feel the need to lick Pyramid Head's abs?

Because the blue cow told you too.

Why do they call pain pain?