(Exactly. But I have two dogs in my nest. Damn, I wish my bed were as big as yours! My dogs are little, but they're bedhogs!)

Because you're secretly a robot!

Why am I still awake when the rest of my body feels ready to drop? X_X

Because menewsha is addictive. But don't worry, you'll get bored of it soon enough, leave for a year then suddenly come back to find all your items are worth loads.

Why is it hard to swallow toast while lying down with a laptop on your tummy?

Because toast follows gravity. Just as it always lands butter side down, it will also only go one way, and that is down. So if you are laying down, it does not want to follow your digestional track sideways, it wants to go down.

Why are the only two temperatures in my room "Ugh I'm so sweaty I'm sticking to my chair" and "I'm so uncomfortably cold I can't feel my toes"?

Because Murphys Law will forever plague is. Same as the butter side down toast rule along with the evil gravity.

Why, when I buy brand new arm warmers over the internet, do they always arrive in a not brand new condition?

Because there's another you out there who receives them first and wears them. When she's done with them, she mails them to you, so at least you can be secure in the knowledge that it's only you that's worn them. Just...the other you!

Why have my dogs taken over my bed? D=

Because it has For-chan Cookie smell and it comforts them.

Why does the scary shadow man always watch me when I sleep?

Because he thinks you're sexy and wants to ask you out on a date, but is too shy, so he watches over you instead to make sure that nothing ever happens to you. That's love.

Why are diamonds a girl's best friend?

Because they don't drool like dogs, and girls are smart like that.

Why does Romeo have to die?

Because it's in the script. If the script says to jump off a cliff, you jump off a clif. So it if tells Romeo to die, he really doesn't have many options.

Why did the dish run away with the spoon?

Because the cup died and it was the second best option.

Why does all the high quality kiwi fruit I spent packing nicely into padded boxes all day get sent over seas and we are left with the worst quality fruit?

Because your country knows that if it keeps the good ones, people will eat more, thus getting fat and lazy. It's best to send them off to the Americans so they can get fatter and lazier and soon you can invade them without resistance!

Why are Men from Mars and Women from Venus?

Because the talking fish said so.

Why do trees wave?

Because they get bored standing around doing nothing. They have to do something to pass the time.

What happens if a unicorn mates with an elephant?

You get Embella on a suger high.

Why can't I take over this forum?

Because this forum is mine and I'll never let you have it! Mwa ha ha ha ha!!!!!!

Why do they print pictures on paper towels, but not on toilet paper, where you need the distraction the most?

They do print it on toilet paper. Like at christmas we had a.. christmasy pattern *tries to think exactly what it was*

Why must I go to bed now?

Because the evil slumber elves are taking over your brain! Don't worry, they're taking over mine too! D=

Why do people laugh at bad jokes?

Because they hope to get laughs back for their own bad jokes, thus inflating their egos.

Why does my dad think that lots of herbs and spices make food taste good?

I'm to sleep. You win your forum back!

Because the underwear gnomes stole his tastebuds!

Why am I also going to sleep just when I've won back the forum?!!?

Because you had a long night pleasuring me. >:3

Why did I wake up this morning?

Cause I found You cheating with For-Chan D<
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Why can't I decide a punishment for Sutebu?

Because you looooove hiiiim~ xP

Why can't I clean my room?

Cause my beauty distracts You U_U
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Why can't I find my hairclip? -.-

Because it's under the piles of junk on my floor.

What's a good way to make quick money?

Selling pixals on the internet.

Who's the coolest person in timbucktoo?