No, but I hear the inside of bones tastes like ice cream?

If I fill out ALL the paper work, will there be more?

Yes. If there comes a day there isn't, then I'll make paper for you to fill them :P
Why doesn't teddy bear really look like a bear?

Because real bears are bad luck, right @Drop Bear!

Why are cats self cleaning bug dogs are not?

Only if you come close enough we can GET YOU IN OUR GRASP DariaMorgendorfer:

To answer your question though, i must pose another:

Cats dont bathe, they get dirty and lick themselves clean. Dogs go play in water and come out and shake themselves (mostly) dry... so I ask you, which one is cleaner?

Also, never seen a bug dog, but I'm guessing it looks something like THIS?

I know many dogs who avoid water at all costs, so I would assume a cat, who will clean itself daily would be cleaner than a dog, that may only get into water a few times a year.

That Bugdog is so cute it is creepy!

My stupid question: Why do humans feel the need to dress their pets in people clothes?

Because humans don't like seeing things naked, unless it is themselves.
Can a gorilla dance?

Only when its not Playing The Drums!

If gorillas can play the drums and dance, what sort of activities do giraffes get up to in their spare time?

Jump. That is why they have long necks.
Why do we waste our time?

Because it doesn't taste as good as basil.
Why do cats sleep so much?

Because they know it will make their owners nasty jealous! I wanna sleep as much as my cat does!!!

Why is it, when I break my food into little pieces, I am not breaking the calories in half too?

because calories need to go to your whole body, not like fibre, which goes straight to ya butt!

Am I a bad person if, 2hrs after I broke up with my GF, i had two other girls lined up for some 'fun' already?

Not necessarily bad but definitely iffy, even if it's "drowning your sorrows" "fun".

On this subject: Who wrote the book of love?

An asshole.

Why are bras always uncomfortable?

Because you can have comfort or style, never both. It's against the laws of nature!

If you can pick your friends and you can pick your nose but not pick your friend's nose, are you actually a friend if you want to pick their nose?

It's not the wanting that's a problem, it's the acting. Or so I'm told.

Should I brush my teeth now, or wait a bit longer in case I actually eat something?

Brush your hair instead! Or shine your shoes...Maybe shine my shoes...Or Shine your Mom's shoes, because there is a nice "Your Mom" joke embedded somewhere in there!
Why does ice cream have no bones?

Because it is an alien!

Why are some feet smelly?

Because they're not tasty.

Why's the sun so bright?

When a man and a woman love each other very much and want to have a child the man's sperm is passed through a electromagnetic field that compressed the sperm into a seed. The seed is then placed in a small patch of dirt and put in the over at 350 degrees for thirty-five minutes or until golden brown. After thirty-five minutes the seed will have hatched and turned into a beautiful baby child. It's first breath of air is comprised entirely of hydrogen and floats into space. The sun's gravitational pull draws the compressed hydrogen breath towards its equator and upon contact explodes in a dazzling ray of light. This is why the sun is so bright and why it is imperative that people continue to have children less the sun die.

Why can't I do a 360 turn and moonwalk away?

because its been done before. Moonwalk a 480 and then pretend youre playing leap frog with yourself instead as an exit strategy. Way cooler. Gets all the girls... or so Im informed by a kid that went to a wiggles concert once or something. Apparently the girls joined in and he got to look up their skirts or something. Dirty little bastard... never should have taught him that! Thats MY move!

If a battle axe is used in battles, and a baseball bat is used in baseball, what are the rules of engagement for the game in which wombats are used, and how are they used?

They're used for escaping the womb, of course!

Why do things go missing, right when I need them?

Because they don't want you to use them. You only use them when you need them.

What is it?

It is the eighth hair on the third right leg of a very large caterpillar.

Why can't I find the chicken?

Because your on the wrong side of the road.

Why did you break them?

Because they stared at me funny!

Why did you poke that?