Because the first Mombies taught them to be good little Zombies and only eat brainfood. They clearly got the wrong idea.

Where are my muffins?!

In my tummy, they were yummy

What is this funny clicking sound in my ear?

Oh that's just my mouse. GET OFF MY DESK!

If I were to stand on my head, what would happen?

All your blood will run into your eyes......you turn into a demon

Why does it keep snowing?

Because the world would be boring without snow men!

Has anyone ever wondered why shoes have laces?

If you don't tie them tightly to your feet, they run away without you!

Why don't birds have thumbs?

Because they have claws instead


Why do birds suddenly appear?

Because they remember they're descended from dinosaurs, so they wait in ambush to eat you until they remember they prefer birdseed now... or do they?

Why does the sun shine?

Because if the sun merely sparkled, we'd all be too dazzled to get anything done.

Who decided that groundhogs were the predictors of winter?

because they DO hurt and people who say they dont are sadomasochistic, they enjoy your pain muahahaha


Why do picture look SO good when you take them but not when you print them out? =\

Because the printer faeries really enjoy fucking up people's lives

Why do geese exist?

The Great Old Ones set them loose as their spies. When they stick their heads underwater they're not eating, they're reporting to R'lyeh.

Why is chili always better the second day after being made?

Because it needs time to figure out who it is and why it's there

Why do we sleep?

Because our brain needs some quiet time to itself without the mouth running and the ears hearing crap and so much business. It needs alone time, so it just puts everything else into hibernate mode.

Why does chocolate taste so good?

Because the origonal creator was secretly an angel.

Why is green such an amazing color?

Because it is.

What is 1+1?

I'd tell you, but I'd have to kill you. :P

Why are there so many songs about rainbows?

Because Rainbows are visions... but only illusions.

How hungry would you have to be to be the first person to eat a snail?

Pretty darn hungry. THey'd have eatten rabbit but the rabbit was too quick for them.

What is the meaning of life?

Love
Ignorant
Freaks
Everywhere

.... Yep, that's what life means. You just have to love the stupid weirdos around you.


Why do leprechauns hide their gold at the end of rainbows? It's like putting a neon sign over it!

Because they love to chase drunk frat boys while waving rakes in the air.

What do you get when you lick a tootsi pop?

6 more weeks of winter!

Which is the 'other' side of the fence?

That one.

Where does the gold go?

On a wild excursion to Amsterdam

What happens if I lick batteries?

The police take you in on charges.

Why do birds suddenly appear?