Gabby:: Its sad when someone you love with all your heart dies, and you've never even imagined a life without her, and then...she's just gone so suddenly. That's how I felt when my Aunt Christine got sick last Christmas...and she died New Years Eve. I felt like my life would never be the same. I felt like someone punched me in the heart. I had to be put on nerve meds to get through the funeral because I kept having panic attacks and I almost fainted when I saw her in the coffin. It was horrid. Then I had the same nightmare about her for months...
And then my Great Grandma Pauline died this summer, and it was nearly as bad. I hate death so much, Gabby...and it frightens me. :(

I hate where we moved to. Its this stupid little hillbilly town in the middle of nowhere. I hardly ever get to see my nana and my sister, there's nothing to do, and we pay $600 a month for a house that's over 100 years old, that the land lady won't fix anything on, that we share with a nest of squirrels, and that has wiring that's a complete fire hazard. I don't have any privacy in my bedroom, and I've fallen down the stairs like four times already. :cry:

Melanie:: Its cold here too, there's uncapped gas lines in the house (totally freaking unsafe!) so the gas company won't turn our heat on until its fixed. So I'm carrying a portable heater around to keep warm.

Damn that's pretty cold Rain... its about 50 f here so definitely colder than usual.
My heater is on... mm, it feels nice. ^^

That's so sad, Christa. *hugs* Especially to die on new years....Yes, I think we all fear death...
Its only natural to fear the unknown. I'm sorry about your aunt and grandma.

Oh my god, that sounds like a horrible house. D;

And...maybe this will sound bad, Gabby, but when my aunt died...I wished you and I were still friends...because remember when my baby nephew passed away, and I was so torn up, and you helped me feel better. But you weren't here for me when she passed away and I think it made me more sad not to have you... ._.;

This house is so horrid and I wish I could get out of it...but I'm supporting my family now, so I can't leave. I dunno what I'm going to do. :<

Aww, I'm so sorry you had to go through by yourself Christa. *hugs*
This last yr hasn't been a good one...

Hmm, you need to find independence... somehow. Didn't u finish your GED?
That means you could apply for college, right?

But doesn't it seem...messed up...that if we were together, the death of a woman who I loved wouldn't have hurt me as much? I think though...I think maybe everyone just needs someone to hold onto and cry to when there's a tragedy. Plus I think at that point I was totally terrified because I felt like everyone I loved was leaving me, and there was nothing I could do to stop it. :(

I want to just leave, like I have for so long now, you know. But I'm literally keeping my whole family off the streets right now, so I'm pretty much being forced to let my own separate life take a backseat to the wellbeing of my family. Nicky is 17 now and he's trying to find a job so if he can get one, hopefully I can focus on myself. -sigh-
My GED, right before I felt ready to take the final test, the center where my instructors were closed and as far as I know, they stayed that way. I couldn't finish without my instructors. The library in the little town next to the town I live in now has classes though. I just found that out, so once I can pay for a membership to the library, I can finish there.
This year has been completely awful for me Gabby, but I'm hoping it will get better...somehow. :sweat:

Hmm, not messed-up... Just natural. Its natural to want you friends and loved ones close when someone loved passes away... When my uncle died I spent all my time with my friends, wanting comfort... Exactly, everyone needs someone close when something horrible happens. Aww, love, I don't want you to be sad. *hugs* <3

Since your family is in bad shape, everyone should try getting a job... Nicky is definitely old enough. I started working when I was 15... That's a good idea, I think you should get a membership and than you go there for tutoring. Yeah, this yr has sucked for me too... *sigh//

It was so awful, Gabby, because she went into a coma on Christmas Eve. But...no one thought she was going to die, we thought she was really sick, but that she'd be okay. Because she was such a strong woman, no one thought she was going to die. She loved angels, so I had got her a ceramic angel for Christmas. And there was such bad weather that we couldn't get to the hospital before she went into the first coma. I sat with her for an hour or so watching that heart monitor machine until we had to leave, and I went to her and kissed her forehead, and she woke up and she said that she loved me and asked me to pray, and that was the last time I heard her speak. :( She went in and out for a couple days, "minor" comas, but she never really became aware of anything again. Then the day after Christmas I think, she went into the "major" coma, the one she didn't wake up from. They wouldn't do the surgery she needed because they were afraid that since she was in a coma already, she might die. But then her gallbladder like exploded. It gave her an infection that poisoned her blood and they couldn't save her, she was only staying alive because of the life support. So we knew it was just a matter of time and we went to see her in the ICU on new-years-eve-day to say goodbye because they were going to take the life support off on Jan 1st. And the only thing I can really remember about that day now, because I had like three panic attacks and was like passing out because I was so sad, are the way her eyes looked. Because they were wide open even though she was in a total coma. And they were like dolls eyes, just blank and glassy, and that's when I realized that even though she was "alive" her soul was gone and she was just like an empty shell. And I remember running away from it, and into the ICU room for all the patients families, and I just started crying until I literally couldn't cry anymore...and that night my nana called us at home, and told us that she had passed away on her own even though they were still using the machines a little after midnight or 1am on Jan. 1st. :(
It was so hard to get through it all, the death itself and the funeral and just all of it. I had a repeating nightmare every night for like three months and I still have it every once in a while. Part of the way I dealt with it was with flowers. I brought a HUGE bouquet of wildflowers to the funeral and my cousin had her buried with them...and then it started helping me with my grief to bring flowers to her grave. I still am doing it. I brought a dozen roses out to her yesterday and accidentally sliced my hand open on a thorn. ^^;
Anyway, though...after she died, in February, my cat that I'd had since I was 5 yrs old, Sassy, she died. And then like a month after that, my cousin's little boy passed away. And then early this summer, my great grandma passed away. It was like to the point where I thought if someone else would die, I felt like might have started screaming and wouldn't have been able to stop. I'm crying a little right now just remembering how bad it was. .__.;
I think this year up until now anyway, has possibly been the worst year of my life. But at least I don't think it can get worse, there has to be a point where it just has to get better. You know?

Well I'm using all the money I get to pay rent on this sucky house. $600/month with some money left over so I can help with the electric and stuff. But this house was the only option we could find after they decided to sell the house we had been renting for seven years. Nicholas has wanted to get a job for a long time, but no one would hire him because he was too young and he was being home-schooled but he was too young to do GED and they either wanted that or him to be in public school. It was an impossible situation. >< But he's 17 now and so now they don't care that he's not in school. He has an interview tomorrow where our sister works at IHOP and he has put in three or four apps to other places just in case. He's really determined about it.

I really really want golden faun horns and NPC items (preferably chicken & candies)...
So if you have these items and you want some of my stuff, we can totally trade!

That's horrible Christa. D; Sadly, most people that go into comas die... Aww, fortunately she was able to wake up in time to tell you she loved you... at least, you got to say goodbye. Yeah, docs usually won't do surgery on someone in a coma, because there's a 90% chance it will make it worse. Mm, her soul had moved on. Poor thing.
I like angels too, my favorite is Azrael....
what's your nightmares about? You need to overcome those...
That's really nice. I think everyone deserves flowers, because it says "we remember you, always!"
What happened to your cousin's son? That's really sad. And your poor kitty cat! *hugs*
Aww, I loved my nana a lot too... It seems like great grandmas are sooo important.
That's so sad, love. *holds tightly/// Yes it will get better, next yr, definitely!
this yr wasn't that great for me, but it wasn't nearly as bad as your yr...

$600 a month is pretty affordable, though I think its too much for you to be paying on your own.
Hmm, even though he's not in school, I think he should finish his GED too...
Well, I hope he gets the job at IHOP. Tell me how it goes k?

I think I have some golden horns, Gabby, I'll check. :)

The nightmare was...like...I was looking into a casket, and first I'd see my aunt Christine, and then my Nana, And then my Momma, and...well, you were in the coffin sometimes too, along with my sister and dad, brother, and grandpa.
I told my friend- she's into reading dreams, and she said the dream means that I'm scared everyone I love will leave me somehow, or they already have, and that because the dream repeats it means that I have a total fear of being alone and that I never want to lose people that I love. :no: And that's totally true. .__.;
I don't have those nightmares anymore, but I don't really dream either. I did have a different nightmare the other day though, I was standing by myself in this like...white fog. There was nothing there. And I'd call out to people but I was alone. When I woke up I realized that I had started crying while I was still sleeping, and I still was crying after I got that it was just a dream because it scared me. :(

I think I might bring her some poinsettias for December, because they're christmas flowers and they're red, which was like her favorite color. :)
My cousin's little boy had heart problems and he was just walking across the floor to his mom and had a heart attack and died. They took him to the hospital but it was too late. :(
-hugs back- :] See, I miss talking like this with you. ^^

Affordable for most houses, but not crazy place like this. Bloody squirrels flying out of closets, wiring exposed, no heat or air in my bedroom (which is really evil) electric is a total fire hazard...I could go on. But its the best we could do.
Nick will get his GED, I hope maybe we can go together because I don't like being by myself surrounded by people I don't know. :headdesk:
He didn't go to the interview at iHOP because our sister needed to be there since shes the one getting him the job, and she wasn't able to come. But he's still got 4 or 5 other applications that he's turned in and he looks in the paper all the time for a job.
I'll keep you posted, Gabby. :3
Um...are you going to reply to that pm I sent back to you? =o_o=

-snuggles thread- Oh hai dudes!!
Haven't talked to you guys in what feels like forever! I'v been off getting ready for my trip to Cali o3o might be moving there wewtwewt!

Ophilie:: Is that you PixPix? o.o
If its not, I don't think I know you? :sweat:
If this is PixPix, Hey hon! I haven't talked to you in ages, so what's new? ^^
Trip to Cali? Why does everyone get to go to the west coast but Kita? lol I could've went to cali last summer, but I was WAY to busy moving. =_=
I hate moving! :gonk:

Gabby:: Nicholas had our sister set him up a new interview time on Saturday. :]
He was talking to me and said he doesn't really want to work at this place unless he can be a waiter. Like he doesn't wanna be a dish washer or a busboy, but he needs to understand that if he's really picky about everything, he probably won't get the job anyway. They will want to put him where they need him. So if they don't need waiters, then he won't be a waiter. I think he should take what he can get because at the very least, its experience points that he can use when applying for his next job, you know?

That would be awesome, Christa... ^^ though, unfortunately I'm almost out of gold... but I guess we could do a trade?

That's a horrible nightmare... everyone being in coffins. *hugs* It will be ok... No one is ever truly alone.
I mean, in our heads we might isolate ourselves to the point where we think we're alone, but that's an illusion.
Even in death I don't think anyone's alone, but I'm an optimist...
Creepy white fog... I wonder what the dream meant.

Poinsettias are a nice flower, she would like that... My god, he must have serious heart problems to have a heart attack at such a young age. What is a heart murmur? or something more serious like a fat-band around the heart?
The heart is pretty much the most important organ, next to the brain, I think.

So basically, the housing is affordable but you have to do a lot of work on them, which is fine. My dad, bro and I would go around buying Fixer-upper houses and than we'd get them really cheap, and start buying fixtures and new roofing, paint, carpet... and soon the house would be gorgeous, than we'd clean and sell. I made a few grand on projects like that. ^^

Yeah, and with both of you have your GEDs you can go to college together. College is very fun, by the way, I think everyone should experience it, even if they cannot initially afford it. Heck, I know I can't! lol// That's good, IHOP is a great place to work, especially with tips... Waiter's get the most money, but busboy isn't bad for starting off, and than you move up to waiter when you're more experienced. That's how it works. Exactly what I was thinkin Christa! XD haha

I got really bad news.... my moms in for back surgery today. I just talked to my step dad whose at the hospital with her... he's waiting, cuz she's in the Resting room. They put you in there directly from surgery so you can come out of your drugged state... I hope she's ok. I really worry about her. I'm going to visit her tomorrow and maybe bring flowers. This is her 3rd back surgery, she had the first 2 eight yrs ago when she was injured, falling down cement stairs. But now, she needs surgery cuz she has arthritis in her spinal column. Its really serious.
~~~~~~~

Hey Ophilie! where in cali are you moving to? I live in california, its beautiful here. ^^
Almost anywhere you choose is a good place (well except for Richmond or Oakland). Lol//
I live in the east bay, by berkeley and san francisco.

I can hold them for you till you get the gold, or yeah we could trade...only i dunno what item(s) i would want. :sweat:

I think it was the worst nightmare I have ever had. -huggles- <3
The white blankness was not so much scary as it was just unnerving, you know?

I think poinsettias are lovely. I found out last year though that they are poisonous to kitty cats, and I didn't know that at all. o_o; I think (but I'm not sure) that he was born with like an underdeveloped heart, and they didn't expect him to live. He had had two operations already at that young of an age and had to breathe through a tube thing because both his heart and lungs were weak. He would have had a third surgery if he hadn't died, but chances were scary high that he would have died during the surgery because I guess it was very dangerous to do it at such a young age. :( But even though it was heart-breaking, especially to his mom and dad and brothers, at least now he doesn't have to suffer and he's in heaven. ^^

Oh yes, its a total fixer-upper. Problem is, we don't have the money to fix it up. And if we did, nothing would get done. My dad really can't work like he used to, Nick won't or at least i dont think he would, and I would have no clue what I was doing. :sweat: Besides, its a rental house, we're not buying it, so shouldn't at least major problems be the owner's responsibility? :(

We both definitely need our GEDs, but as far as going to college together, Nicholas wants to go to Pittsburgh State University but I so do not want to move to Kansas. XD;;
I want to go to college really badly. I want to be an interior designer, but I'm also wanting to go to take classes on psychiatry and philosophy. Plus I have to prove to certain people that just because I dropped out of h.s. doesn't make me a brain-dead loser with no ambition. =_=;
But anyway, yeah, I think Nick should take what he can get and work his way up through the ranks. My sister's been working there for years, and she's been offered management positions higher up, but she stays waitressing, which i don't really understand. But with nick, he has to realize that no matter where he gets a job, he's going to be doing the crap work for a while because he's the low man on the totem pole. I tried to tell him that but he didn't listen. :roll:

Aww, I'm really sorry about your mom, hon. -hugs- I'm sure she'll be okay. I think back surgeries are pretty common? My grandpa's doctor wants him to have a surgery on his back where they put metal poles and like, concrete in his back because he has degenerating arthritis in his back. :( I will keep her in my thoughts and hope everything goes well, ok? :hug:
I found out today that my mom has to have another major knee surgery. :<
She had a total knee replacement on her knee so that all of that knee basically is metal, like two years ago. But its been hurting her lately very bad, so she went to a orthopedic doctor today and he said that the whole thing has come loose in her leg! He said he doesn't even know how she can stand to walk since its so bad! So now she has to have the whole thig re-done and I feel sorry for her because I know when she had it done originally it hurt so bad that she screamed when they got her up to walk. :gonk:

Sorry for the text wall. >_<;

I am indeed Zombie Pixie O:
I know...i am soo sneaky

:glomp:
Where have you been hiding for so long, Pixpix?

I has been hidding.... in life?

Thoth Star:

I have a booger cookie and I have a tapi bloom if you're interested in either or both. :)

Pixpix:: Life has been stealing everyone away for a while now. -shakes fist at life-

Did you still want wood sprite, Christa? thats worth about 5k and the golden faun horns are 3.5k...
So could we trade those items plus 1k?

Yeah that sounds really scary. *huggles* Dont' have anymore nightmares! ^^
I rarely have nightmares anymore, but I had similar dreams when I was a child...
I had one dream where I was lost in a large room of white... and than a white creature attacked me but I couldn't see it caused it camoflouged in teh white room. Anyways, it didn't have a face! and it bit my arm and I screamed and around away... I woke up soo terrified.

I like poinsettias too. They're very pretty. I didn't know that either... Most flowers are poisonous though, like foxgloves.
Oh my god, that's horrible! Poor baby. Whenever you have an underdeveloped organ, the docs don't give you long to live, espcially if its a heart or lung or liver.... Yeah, there's no way he could have survived. D; that must have been sooo devastating to the parents!

Yeah, you really need the money and labor to do anything with a fixer-upper. We would spend several thousand on the house and do most of the labor ourselves... but it would take months. Last house was in San Jose, it sold for a lot! That was back when before the economy took a dump on the housing market. That's true, it is the owners responsibility to fix minor things... That doesn't mean they have to spend thousands fixing it... and even if he/she did fix it, they'd probably jack up the rent price which would be bad for your family, so you're kinda stuck until the lease expires. x___X

Well I hope you both get your GEDs next yr. ^^ that would be good, than you can transfer!
Yeah, Kansas is boring... You should go somewhere nicer. Right now, even interior designers (people with the degree) are coming back to college to get other degrees, because there's not much money in the market for interior designers right now.... maybe, when the economy is better & people can afford that again. Its like real estate, a dead market.
Don't worry, there's many high school drop-outs that make it into College.
Yeah if I was your sis I'd be a manager... Waitressing is a lot of manual labor. Yep, crap work like garbage, dishwasher, cleaning tables, mopping...

*hugs* thanks. Old people do have a tendency to injure their backs... especially if you have arthritis in your back. ><
Oh, they want to give your dad a back 'fusion.' My moms had 2 done so far... Its a fairly long surgery but in the end, it really helps reduce pain and pressure on your back.
OUCH, having metal come loose in your knee sounds really painful. Yeah, she'll have to get it replaced or fixed...
Surgery sounds sooo painful... I never want to have surgery! *gonk* By the way, I miss the faces on this site...

Hello zombie pixie! Its been a long time. ^^

Hey neller, I'm definitely interested in the tapi bloom...
how much did you want for it? 0 30

im selling a toffee candy stick for 2000g if you're interested.... >.>

@Thoth Star
I'm sorry. I sold it, already. :(

Mm I'll think about it, Perfect...
Could u possibly sell for 1.5k?
Right now I'm using all my gold on the atlantis mask trade. XD

thats perfectly okay with me!
right now im trying to get gold to buy a kitsune for my quest xD
ill start the trade? :3

That's alright, neller. ^^ I don't think I could afford it right now...

Oh cool Perfect. xD how did u get a candy set?
Everyone seems to have one except moi. lol///

i only got 2 from trick or treating with the npcs before they changed how to do it :P
the only reason im selling them is cause i dont think ill ever use the items but im saving my one from abel just in case xD