So I like writing, recently I've been writing a story about a 17 year old who gets pregnant. Now this isn't something like she has to raise the kid on her own. She has her boyfriend (who is the father) and her boyfriends family. She got kicked out of her house because she wouldn't get an abortion, so she went and moved into her boyfriends house. At her boyfriends house she finds comfort and a family who wants to help her in her pregnancy. She's going to keep the baby. I've been stuck on this paragraph:

At home I went and took a nap. I hadn’t been sleeping well for the past few days. As I slept I dreamed of nothing other than falling off of cliffs. I had been having a lot of these dreams of me dying. I didn’t even tell anyone. I mean what was I suppose to say? ‘Ohm, hello unnamed doctor, I’ve been having a lot of these dreams in which I die. Is that normal?’ Yeah I’m just waiting for that to happen.

Its told first person from the view of the pregnant girl. What do you think I should do from here? I can't really figure it out.

Pregnant girl: Sally, Her boyfriend (and father of the baby): Joe, BF's mother: Angie, BF's father: Ray.

Please can you help me?

Honestly I don't know what to say. It's hard to say what's wrong... or even really what to work on with such a tiny sample.
As for where to go with it, that's such a personal thing.
It's like drawing an eye, describing a body type, and then asking the ethers for advice on the pose. Ya know?
When I'm stuck, I act out the story out loud by myself. I feel like a dork, but sometimes my mouth moves faster than my head and I strike gold.
Good luck!

Originally Posted by fallpanicclick_lover

At home I went and took a nap. I hadn’t been sleeping well for the past few days. As I slept I dreamed of nothing other than falling off of cliffs. I had been having a lot of these dreams of me dying. I didn’t even tell anyone. I mean what was I suppose to say? ‘Ohm, hello unnamed doctor, I’ve been having a lot of these dreams in which I die. Is that normal?’ Yeah I’m just waiting for that to happen.

Well, for starters you might want to use supposed instead of suppose.

Another thing is that you might want to go into more detail. Ok, she's dreaming about falling off cliffs and dying. Does she know how she got to the cliff in her dream? How does she feel when she's falling? At what point in the dream does she wake up? How does she feel when she wakes up? How tired is this lack of sleep making her?

I'm not sure more detail would help the story along.
Personally, I'm all for concise writing. The fact that she took a nap is enough to tell me she's tired.

I don't see what's wrong with or what's right.
Because its only a portion of the story I can't help .
I really think its going good though.
You should post the whole story.

Well, I would say that adding more detail would diffinately help. At least in my opinion.

Just a suggestion, when I want to mention dreams, I usually show one. I write out the dream and then have them wake up before I explain anything about it. Or as my character is falling asleep they'll think about the dreams they've been having, and like you did talk to thiemselves about what they can do about them. Or they think about what they might mean. Usually I find that the best thing to happen after this situation takes place is to have something sudden happen. Someone calling them to go do something or what have you.

But in your particular piece I would say that you should have her go to bed maybe think about the dreams, (a nice way to add more detail about them) then have her fall asleep. Perfect place to end a chapter, or if you don't want to end the chapter there or its too short in your opinion to end it right there. You can have her wake up to an abrupt crash or sound, or simply wake up the next morning and continue on with the story.

lol I don't know if I actually helped any or not.... Oh well. Wish ya all the best with your story.