Song: "Time of Your Life" by Greenday.
Color: Greysih blue

Okay so....I'm a little sad right now. My computer is dead. For some reason it's having trouble turning on. So my plan is to take it to be fixxed for millions of dollars and see what happens then. </3

Also, some good thigs have indeed happened lately. I got Cs on my last two English papers. That made me really happy since my first paper was a D+. I really want to pass this class and I'm working very hard to do so, but I don't know if that's coming across too well.

Another good this is.....my mother has been gone ALL week. I haven't had to deal with her drama at all this week and it's made me oh so happy. She'll probably be back this weekend and that emo's me, but I know that she can't stay where she is forever.

Right now I'm in the computer lab at school cause, A) My computer is dead. and B) My brother and his friend are writing their English paper. I'm here for support. XP

It's really boring right now cause there isn't much to do, but I don't know what else to be doing with my time so bleh. I'll stay I suppose. I think I'll go off to Gaia and copy paste this here too since I don't feel like making another entry. Copy past is my friend. <3

Song: "Runaway" by Pink
Color: The color of storms.

2:15
Okay...so I'm at my college right now...which is in Antelope Valley...Lanecaster...I live in Ontario California. I got seperated from my friends and now I'm trapped here. I don't know where they are and have no means to get in touch with them.

2:22
Wow...that's luck. XD My friend has internet on his phone and got my message on gaia. I'm saved. XD They're sending a ride to come pick me up and I'll be safe and sound just like I should be. XD <3

Okay but here's the story. I call it FATE others will call it "God's Will"

I'm stressing out hardcore about school and home life. HARDCORE! So today we have to come to school early to do all kinds of stuff that we need to have done. Well I'm getting bitching (pardon my language) and my friend and brother are getting bitchy (again...) right back.
So when we get to this place that we need to be at and I get angry and walk away, at first I only walk around the block to cool my head, but I took a wrong turn somewhere and ended up lost. So I don't have a phone or money and I'm lost in a place that I've only seen a few times.
So I'm walking, in black, in the high dessert, to a place that I'm only guessing is "in this direction". I'm not even sure where or which way I'm going. So I'm walking and I start to get paranoid.
I finaly stop at some dairy sales palce and ask for dierections. I'm about an hour or two away from my school...walking distance...
So I get bummed and as I'm walking the heat starts to get to me and the stress...and I'm thinking..."SHIT SHIT SHIT!" and I find some shade, sit down, and have a nice cry.
After that some hippies tell me that if I keep going the way I'm going I'll get to the college.
About an hour in, I start getting really tired and REALLY REALLY hot. So I try to stop at a few places for water or a phone call. Now, no one would let me use there phone cause it's a long distance call. (Remember I live FAR FAR away from this palce) but I do find this family of Muslims who are FANTASTIC! They give me water and money for the bus and even drive me to the bus, because they couldn't drve me all the way there...It was out of there way and I really don't have a choice so I accept what I'm given and BOY! Am I greatful! <3
Okay...bad stuff again. I'm waiting at the bus stop for about thirty to forty-five minuests...and still noghting. Not even a passing bus...NOTHING!
This guy pulls up into the driveway behind me and see's me freaking out and crying and they yelling at myself. So he, beign the God fearing man that he is, takes sympathy on me and drives me to my school.
So here I am in the computer lab, nice and cool, waiting for my friends to come get me.
Was it some kind of odd destiny that led me here? Or was it oh holy God himself.
I really don't know, but I'm SO glad to be in some freaking air conditioning right now. <3

End Song: "Final Fantasy VII end of battle Winning song theme"
End Color: Ice!

Song: "Creatures (For A While)" by 311
Color: Crimson

Well since it's been far too long since I've go to the doctor, I figured it was time for some blood work. Well the last time I went in for that they told me I was/am anemic.

That itself was lame.

Now I'm told that my heart doesn't pump enough blood into my body. That's why I've been so tired and lazy.

Well school isn't helping, so either I take many MANY more pills or I get blood infusions. I don't like needles. It's bad enough I let them stick me to figure out what's wrong with me, but I have draw the line somewhere.

I'll just have to find other means. I'm not taking anymore of their damn pills. It's bad enough that they make me take them for everything else. Even the dentist. I stopped seeing him. My doc was mad, but when I told him that it had nothing to do with my health (right?) he left me alone.

I brush my teeth so whatever.

However, my teeth hurt all the time now. They feel like back when I was a kid and they were just growing in. It's like I can feel them getting bigger.

I hate me sometimes. It's just too much pain killers(three different ones, for three different things!) and iron pills and vitamins and crap. I just wonder if it's worth the damn trouble sometimes. BAH!

Song: "Gone Forever" by Three Days Grace
Color: Grey

I'm not sad, but I'm not happy either. I mean...I'm happy online. But that's about it. I put up my mask and I chat online cause I don't have a real life or real friends.
I remember what real friends are, but I haven't seen nor talked to mine in like...forever. I miss them and that makes me even more sad then normal.
I start going to school on Monday and I'm scared. Like really scared. I haven't gone to school in like three years and even then I was a loser. I just don't feel up to it anymore. I don't wanna just leave though cause I'll let myself down.
And even though my mother wont admit it, she's happy that I'm going to be going to school.
Yeah it's too far away, it's an hour and a half away, but it's free and I got in. So that's all that really matters.
But again, no friends. The only friends I do have left are too busy for me. It also doesn't help that I live far away from them. I live half an hour away. I miss them terrible, but at the moment there is nothing that I can do.
Nik is getting her own life together and I just don't think she needs me there to mess things up.
Kiwi has got somethings going on in her own life, and she doesn't want to see me or anyone, so I'll just leave her to herself.
Mango and I don't really talk much. The last time she called me I was actually really surprised to hear from her.
Missy and I don't really hang out. I've known her since we were kids, but that doesn't mean that we have to hang out....
Rach and Holly have their own lives and it's WAY different then my own...so we just don't hang, or talk, anymore.

I feel kinda left out. Everyone is moving on in life and I'm stuck at "Go". Sure they all have ups and downs but I don't have any of that. Maybe it would be better if I just left them all. They wouldn't have to worry about me anymore. <3 I think I'll do that. I'll just butt out. They don't need me being a bump on a log, ya know. So I'll be a ninja and watch them grow.

All the good times we all had together are gone forever...