
01-22-2010, 06:53 AM
You often lost your rhyme in some parts. And it's bland, boring... just ugh. It's the same old, same old and there's nothing profound about it. I can't even say there's anything "twisted" about it... You need work.
I mean, don't get me wrong, they're good to start with, but there's a lot of imporvment needed. This isn't to say that you should stop writing at all, either. It's simply what you need to hear to become a better writer. If you want a more extensive crit, I will be more than happy to give one, but first let's see how you take me telling you your stuff... kinda sucks...
|