It was three years ago, and I met this amazing girl. She was funny, assertive, beautiful, free. Most of the things I thought I wasn't. We dated, and she actually helped me a lot to be more social. It was great for a while, but we started fighting, a lot. Eventually, we broke up around a year. We stayed friends. I watched her fall into serious relationships with other guys, as I stayed in the background as the good friend. She told me maybe one day, or that she wasn't ready to settle down.

It's been this way for 2 years. I've only tried dating one person after her, and it was right before she dated the first person after me. Needless to say, she became jealous, and her and I were acting like a couple again, behind my new girlfriends back. But right before I broke up with my current girlfriend, is when she started dating. Since then, I've been what I consider, the best person to her. I've tried to make her happy as much as possible. Took her out places, bought her things, listened to her problems and consoled her, and even bought frequent plane tickets after she moved. I guess it was in hopes to make her happy, and to maybe notice me again. I'm sure now, that I am dead to her relationship wise.

I've been stuck, in love (or maybe obsessed.. I don't know) with her since. I'm living in denial about her eventual return to me, because a thousand different things point to her NEVER going back to me more than a friend. It hurts. I am not motivated to dating someone new. But I just want a feeling of friendship with her now. Her feelings for mine have been long dead.

I still want to be her good friend, but I can't live like this anymore. Anyone else have a similar situation, or know what I should do?

This is a very interesting topic, one I believe I have heard before. I was in a similar situation, but I was on the other end. I dated this amazing guy for a year, when we first met it was like magic. We started going out right away, not considering being friends first, or getting the know one another. Basically, we knew nothing about each other.

I then moved to Kentucky, but we stayed together in hopes that things would not change. I ended up moving back and we still were together. We'd go to the mall every Friday, and get complemented on how perfect we were together. While dating him, I was going threw very many emotional problems, and used t self mutilate myself. I was very depressed. It was very personal and he was the only one there for me during that problem. It was a very dark point in my life.

But after I got better, we started to fight quite a bit. Other nothing at all most of the time. After a situation, we later broke up. I needed a brake, and could not stand being in the relationship any longer. He became a different person from what I remembered. Although we broke up, we did it on good terms and became close friends. Which, a lot of people were surprised about. He started seeing one of my good friends. I started seeing her ex boyfriend.

Thing turned out for the worst in him case, but I became very happy with the one I was dating. Fast forwarding to a few months ago, when that ex left me for a 13 year old girl. My friend/ex was still with me even then. I am scared to loss him even now. He, does not know the feeling of the loss of someone close to you. I have been threw it enough to be scared to loss him. He is my best friend, and no matter what, I need him in my life.

He will never understand how much that need is though. He will always just want to be more then friends, but even so, I can't turn him away. No matter what, he comes first.

Well, I'm sure if your friend is like me, then I can assure you he won't be going anywhere. Even though sometimes I want more, that little bit more is no where close to how much I get from having her as my best friend.

I suppose I just get lonely from time to time. Especially seeing how happy she gets when she's with other guys. I want that happiness.
But like I said before, it's my time to look for someone, although no one could ever replace my friend.

It's just hard though, to start all over again. Getting to know someone I may not like, but my loneliness may not care enough to be rational and tell myself to keep looking, or to tell that person that things aren't going to work out. I guess I'm afraid of moving on, in a sense.

I may seem really selfish a lot, but I really am glad for my friend that she can find happiness in others. I always wanted her to be happy, above all other things.