Hello! Im hopeing i can get some people to rate these lyrics for me... I wrote them a while ago but i didnt feel comfortable putting them on gaia!

Long Ago
My heart broke long ago,
My pain started long ago,
My tears dried long ago,
Form what you did to me…
When you told me that you love,
Someone else my heart died and toched the ground,
That’s how dead you made me feel…
My heart broke long ago,
My pain started long ago,
My tears dried long ago,
Form what you did to me…
Now that you love someone else,
I say why do I do this to myself?
Its really killen me…
My heart broke long ago,
My pain started long ago,
My tears dried long ago,
Form what you did to me…
My heart broke long ago,
My pain started long ago,
My tears dried long ago,
Form what you did to me…
Form what you did to me…

Well thats it! I hope you enjoyed them! :angel:

Hey Bebe Girl!
I've moved this thread into our Poetry subforum. Hopefully you'll get some more feedback here. :yes:

Another Song "Apart too long"

We’ve been apart to long, and its tarring me apart,
I don’t know what to do without you,
Why does it hurt so much, to be apart so long?
I can feel the tears in my eyes when you’re gone,
When I first saw you,
We were in the store,
I didn’t know you,
But I was already sore,
We’ve been apart to long, and its tarring me apart,
I don’t know what to do without you,
Why does it hurt so much, to be apart so long?
I can feel the tears in my eyes when you’re gone,
The second time our eyes meant,
We were having lunch,
You had asked me on date,
I said yes and there we were,
We been apart to long, and its tarring me apart,
I don’t know what to do without you,
Why does it hurt so much, to be apart so long?
I can feel the tears in my eyes when you’re gone,
Then a few months later,
Which happens to be now,
You told me we’d never go out anymore,
I was left here crying on your door,
We been apart to long, and its tarring me apart,
I know it’s only been two days,
But it hurt so much, to be apart this long?
I can feel the tears in my eyes because know your gone,

My newest song "Breath"

Wake me up,
Save me from this nightmare,
Wake me up,
Save me from this hell,
Wake me up,
I just need to breath…
Come and save from this nightmare
This world will never let me be,
what I need to be,
and what I need to be is me (is me)
Wake me up,
Save me from this nightmare,
Wake me up,
Save me from this hell,
Wake me up,
I just need to breath…
To breath into my hreat,
what will make me whole again,
what I need to breath,
and that is me, my soul
Wake me up,
Save me from this nightmare,
Wake me up,
Save me from this hell,
Wake me up,
I just need to breath…
I just need to be.


Ill post more of my good ones later my others suck!

I just dug this out cleaning my desktop! Its one of my first!

Shout Out
Shout it out shout it out,
Come on shout it out,
Shout it out shout it out,
Come on shout it out,
I’m gonna shout out
That I’m crazy about you
I’m gonna shout out
Because that’s all that I can do
I’m so in love with you...
So shout out
Shout it out shout it out,
Come on shout it out,
Shout it out shout it out,
Come on shout it out,
I’m gonna shout out
‘Cause I don’t know what to do
Come on shout out
‘Cause I know there’s love in you too
So come on come on shout out!
So come on come on shout out…
So come on come on shout out…
Shout out shout out
shout out shout out
That’s what to do shout out!

Someone Please Look At This!!!!!
I dug up another one!

Dead

[Dead, dead, dead, dead, dead, dead, dead, dead]
Dead, dead, my love is dead, de-e-e-e-eead
Dead, dead, my love is dead, de-e-e-e-ead
Dead, dead, my love is dead, de-e-e-e-eead
Dead, dead, my love is dead, de-e-e-e-ead
My love die-i-i-i-ed
the day I said good by-yye
My love die-i-i-ed
The day I saw you cheat
Dead, dead, my love is dead, de-e-e-e-eead
Dead, dead, my love is dead, de-e-e-e-ead
Dead, dead, my love is dead, de-e-e-e-eead
Dead, dead, my love is dead, de-e-e-e-ead
Now that ive said good bye
And left you alo-one
My heart has said good bye
I will not go back ho-ome
Dead, dead, my love is dead, de-e-e-e-eead
Dead, dead, my love is dead, de-e-e-e-ead
Dead, dead, my love is dead, de-e-e-e-eead
Dead, dead, my love is dead, de-e-e-e-ead
I will never go back home…
[Dead, dead, dead, dead, dead, dead, dead, dead…]

Your newest one is a little difficult to judge without any music to go along with it. :lol:
While repetition is a great thing with music, you just have to be careful with it - Do you want your audience to focus on the lyrics themselves, or on the instrumentals and melody that are backing the words up? "Dead" could be amazing if you had the right acoustics to bring it together.

thanks, i was think soft rock with female vocal

i fear i use repetition to much though...

i love them all i wish i could write songs lol thats amazing i really like it :)

thanks ill write one for you if you like but i cant read music so nothing behind it....

this was such a wonderful song I loved it

thank you