What can you do when you are with met that special someone but your friends just don't seem to like her? This isn't true for all of my friends though. One of my friends though keeps telling me she can't understand why I'm with my gf and she told me I should break up with her and date this other girl. I was so shocked that she said this that I didn't have a response. And now this girl, we'll call her Maggie, has a bf who we'll call Allen. Well Allen is upset with my gf because she wrote something that he says was attacking him in the newspaper. What my gf wrote was talking about how ppl shouldn't attack professors on facebook which Allen did so she was attacking him in a way but she didn't name him. Now he is starting an underground newspaper to counter her article. Maggie and a lot of my friends side with Allen but I side with my gf and not just because we are romantically involved but because I believe the way she believes. I'm afraid that this will bring about another division in my friends. Allen and Maggie already severed ties with my friend Jake because they didn't get along with his gf Rhonda. So I don't know what to do.

Anyone have any advice? Comments? Similiar stories?

tell them they have to deal with it, you've found your love and you will be with her no matter what they say. they just have to accept it.
if they can't, then they are not much of a friends.. seems very childish to me to say things like "you shouldn't be with her, be with ____ instead".:shock::

I'd suggest you and your friends should sit down and talk about this and how you feel about it all. Your girlfriends article was probably aiming at a general group and not just at Maggie's boyfriend, Allen. Even though it was wrong of your girlfriend to do it if she may have known or suspected that it would turn out like this. Talk to them about it and maybe get your girlfriend included in that talk as well. It'll either make things better *crosses fingers* or it'll show who your real friends are and make things worse. If it does make it worse then sorry.

I think it's pretty rude that Maggie told you to dump your girlfriend and go out with someone else. If she was really your friend she wouldn't have said and/or suggested that in the first place. She had no right at all. Maggie should have been happy that you've found someone you love and accepted that.

Having said that, your friends are with you forever. Girlfriends and boyfriends may not be there for you in the long run. Just think about it.

Sorry if my advice wasn't very good and if it was harsh, I didn't mean it to be. I hope it all works out for you Duncan and that your girlfriend and friends will get along and forget about the whole article incident.

I think that it's not fair for your friends to try and divide you and your girlfriend. "Forget her, date this other girl" is a really rude thing to say. If you really love her, stay with her,

BUT

Friends come and go, but, traditionally, boyfriends and girlfriends come and go faster. It's just the way it is. I don't think that you should let your friends push you or her around (these aren't true friends, in my opinion) and you can't choose them over her, especially if you really love her. However, you can't really choose her over them, either. A real friend would allow you to be with who made you happy. Better yet, they would WANT you to be with who made you happy, regardless of how they felt about that person. On the same a hand, a caring girlfriend will let you hang out with whatever friends make you happy.

Don't let either side damage your relationship with the opposite side. Be true to your friends, true to your girlfriend, and true to yourself.

I think Elle's suggestion of sitting your friends down with your girlfriend and having a nice talk about everything is a good idea. She's right, it'll make things better, or make them worse for a moment and then they'll get better later.

Good luck. Message me and let me know how it turns out.

Your friends, first of all, aren't there to dictate your life. I say nip it in the bud and tell them you've listened to what they've said and respect their views, but ask them to just be happy with your decision, because you like your gf.

If they keep going, keep standing up for yourself. Friends that do this to you are NOT real friends.

I'm in the situation your gf's in at the moment, and it's putting alot of stress on our relationship. I receive abusive emails from the friends. Having to try hard to be nice to someone who didnt like me was hard enough, but now it puts a huge amount of strain on our relationship. Stop the negative views of your friends if you care about your gf.

Do it if you care about being with people who respect your choices in life.

Thanks everyone. I think I will have to talk with some of my friends about this before it escalates. Like I said Maggie alienated one friend because of his gf already and I don't want that to happen to me. I had a chance to talk to Maggie about it once but I tend to avoid conflict so I didn't bring it up. If Allen does post a reply article to my gf's article I'll probably need to talk to him about it because I'm afraid it will hurt her. I won't to stop this before it gets started.

Good luck with it Duncan and I hope it all turns out right.

Though I would like to say one thing, to me it seems as though Maggie doesn't care much for you and for your friend [that was alienated] 'cause of the whole 'if she doesn't like your girl friend then you aren't friends at all'. To me that seems snobby and it isn't right, though if I'm wrong about that then I'm sorry. But Maggie has to put her feelings towards your girlfriend aside and try to get to know her more and accept that she's your girl friend and that your happy and in love with her. On the same hand your girlfriend should put her differences aside and get to know your girlfriend and the girlfriends boyfriend more.

Sorry, if I had said something that has offended you. I hadn't mean to offended you.

i wouldnt want to keep these friends if i were you, they are no friends at all, and unless they are sitting you dont giving you serious reasons as to why your girlfriend is bad for you (like she is abusive, a drug users etc), you need to stand up for you and your gf. Have a back bone, otherwise this relationship is doomed and you will let it happen. They are your friends, and its your responsibility to deal with this, not leave her open to harrassment, even if she isnt around. Its disrespectful to her and you

I had that exact problem. My friends dumped me cause I picked to spend some more time with my boyfriend at the time, which is my husband now. I lost my entire family, and I really don't care about it, cause none of them like him. They even excluded me out of the family things cause of it. Like burying my own grandparents and being able to take at least one thing of each of theirs to remember them by. My mom lied to give us something cause no one would of allowed me to get anything. I just pulled myself away from the ones who didn't like my man and ignored them completely. If they are truly your friends they would accept her. And if they noticed things they didn't like her doing, like cheating or whatever that could hurt you, then they can tell you about it and state that they don't like her. But if they don't know her, they should get to know the girl first. Or just keep their mouths shut and accept it. After all it is your girlfriend and not theirs. Just ignore them and if they say anything tell them off. They can't expect you to dump her just cause they don't like her.

I have a similar story. Only, I'm posting this as the gf. I mean ex-gf.
My ex-bf's friends don't like me and told him he should break up with me, and he did.
It's a little more complicated than I just made it sound I guess...he agreed with them that I...well, it seems like I was taking advantage of him because I don't have a job or a lot of money...but I'm the girl. I have traditional notions that he should pay when we go out to eat, but he started to resent always doing it.
And also I don't talk a lot, so I seem unfriendly to other people.
But we do still see each other kind of....like as kind of bf/gf. w/o the title.
I mean, we both have issues; He's cheap, and I'm a whore. lol

*Sigh* I think what you should take away from this is, it's likely not everyone will like who you're dating. Listen to what your friends are saying, but don't act on it unless you think its right. And hopefully, you dating this girl won't scare away your friends.

*clears throat* Well, I really do not want to sound like a heartless asshole with this. However, if you have true feelings for someone. Like you feel that you can and will be together with that person forever. Your friends should be happy for you. They may not like her/him. But they should at least be happy for you. Period. Otherwise your friends need to grow the fuck up.

Originally Posted by Bartuc

*clears throat* Well, I really do not want to sound like a heartless asshole with this. However, if you have true feelings for someone. Like you feel that you can and will be together with that person forever. Your friends should be happy for you. They may not like her/him. But they should at least be happy for you. Period. Otherwise your friends need to grow the fuck up.

That is definately one way of putting it. He might sound mean with the way he stated his words, but I completely agree with you Bartuc. You are right, the should grow up and be happy for his friend. If they are true friends. You accept who they chose to be with and if there is something you see that is wrong or bad with that person, you should only then state how you feel and the reasons why. But you need proof to back yourself up or else you are going to be another brat, (your friends that is) who can't deal with anyone else being with your friend but you (which is them if I am confusing you, sorry).

They don't sound like such great friends if they have a history of ditching friends just because they don't like who they're dating. Although bfs and gfs tend to change rapidly, and friends come and go a lot slower, unless your gf is REALLY changing you (ask your parents, siblings, or a neutral friend to get a good handle on whether she is or not) they have no right being so mean. And I think Allen probably got what he had coming to him on the whole professor thing. Social networking sites aren't out there to bash people. They were created to make new friends and keep in contact with old ones easier or in a more fun way. It's called "Facebook" not "Hatebook".

I think you should sit down and think long and hard about why you became friends with them, how good of friends they have been to you, what happened when you guys fought or went through a rough patch, and whether or not they've ever been really mean to you or really been there for you in a tough time before. If you decide they dropped the ball on their end of the friendship, maybe you should reconsider if they're really your friends.

And starting an underground newspaper sounds like an awful lot of trouble to go to over one article. Isn't that taking revenge or retaliation a bit far?

Originally Posted by Duncan_Greymorn

What can you do when you are with met that special someone but your friends just don't seem to like her? This isn't true for all of my friends though. One of my friends though keeps telling me she can't understand why I'm with my gf and she told me I should break up with her and date this other girl. I was so shocked that she said this that I didn't have a response. And now this girl, we'll call her Maggie, has a bf who we'll call Allen. Well Allen is upset with my gf because she wrote something that he says was attacking him in the newspaper. What my gf wrote was talking about how ppl shouldn't attack professors on facebook which Allen did so she was attacking him in a way but she didn't name him. Now he is starting an underground newspaper to counter her article. Maggie and a lot of my friends side with Allen but I side with my gf and not just because we are romantically involved but because I believe the way she believes. I'm afraid that this will bring about another division in my friends. Allen and Maggie already severed ties with my friend Jake because they didn't get along with his gf Rhonda. So I don't know what to do.

Anyone have any advice? Comments? Similiar stories?

well, I believe that if you have feelings for her, your true friends should want your happiness no matter what. Because frankly, what kind of friends would they be if they were only concerned about themselves and not about you? I realize that since I don't know the whole story I don't have much room to talk, but I believe that if you want to be with her, you need to have the strength to be with her and be able to take whatever consequences come with it. Your real friends wouldn't cut ties with you just because they didn't like your girlfriend. But, that doesn't mean they have to like your girlfriend either.

Originally Posted by *Thoughtful Quill*

They don't sound like such great friends if they have a history of ditching friends just because they don't like who they're dating. Although bfs and gfs tend to change rapidly, and friends come and go a lot slower, unless your gf is REALLY changing you (ask your parents, siblings, or a neutral friend to get a good handle on whether she is or not) they have no right being so mean. And I think Allen probably got what he had coming to him on the whole professor thing. Social networking sites aren't out there to bash people. They were created to make new friends and keep in contact with old ones easier or in a more fun way. It's called "Facebook" not "Hatebook".

I think you should sit down and think long and hard about why you became friends with them, how good of friends they have been to you, what happened when you guys fought or went through a rough patch, and whether or not they've ever been really mean to you or really been there for you in a tough time before. If you decide they dropped the ball on their end of the friendship, maybe you should reconsider if they're really your friends.

And starting an underground newspaper sounds like an awful lot of trouble to go to over one article. Isn't that taking revenge or retaliation a bit far?

I agree with you. This doesn't sound like the type of person you would want in your life at all. I mean really? Starting an underground newspaper over a single article? that's overkill. plain and simple.