01-01-2010, 04:42 AM
Yo! I started this a couple months ago (and haven't finished it, obviously). Its not very long, but pleeeeeaaaaase comment about it. If possible telling me what I could do to make my writing better. Yay! Thanks. xD
My breath caught in my throat when I saw her. Her usually pink skin was a sickly yellow and her face was pulled into a painful pout as she slept. I quickly walked away from the door and to her bedside. A nurse stood beside her- glancing at me as she wrote on her clipboard. I looked away for a second, then back to the woman in the bed. I couldn't call her my mom- she didn't look anything like her. My hand started trembling, causing my knees to give out. I was about to let a sob escape my throat when a loud gasp came from the door.
I stood up quickly and looked behind me. My father stood in the doorway, his eyes wide. I took three large steps backward, letting him rush up to her. In the doorway another person stood. It was a little girl. I guessed that she was my little sister- the one I had never met.
My mom had divorced when I was eight. Since my mom had wanted to have full custody of me, my dad insisted on taking my little sister. She was only two at the time and probably didn't remember. That was eight years ago. Since the day he and my sister left, I hadn't heard a single word from them. Until a week ago, that is.
My mother usually left me alone for days at a time, so when she didn't come home for three days a week ago, I wasn't worried. But I got a call a few days later. I was sitting in the kitchen when it happened. I picked up the phone when it rang, expecting one of my friends. After what I heard, though, I couldn't answer it when my friends really did call. My mom had been diagnosed with liver cancer. It was until today that I got to visit her.
The nurse left, leading my sister out of the room so my father and I could have time with my mother. A minute came and went and I just stared at the back of my father's head. I didn't remember his voice- when he called the week my mom was admitted into the hospital his words were short. He had asked about my mom, then hung up on me. For a second I got lost in thought, but snapped out of it when my father turned to look at me.
I was suddenly full of surprise- he was glaring at me, hatred radiating off him like he was screaming. He walked up to me slowly and stood in front of me, breathing heavily. His hand came up, but I was to shocked to notice. Then he hit me.
The back of his hand collided with my cheek, the ring on his middle finger pinching it. I stumbled back, holding my hand up to my cheek. I almost collapsed, but hit the wall before. My father's eyes eyes were becoming wet. His hand stayed motionless in the air for a moment before he lowered it.
“Its your fault! I told you to take care of her! Its all your fault!” his voice wasn't loud enough to be heard through the door, but I heard him plenty well. In my mind I vaguely remembered promising a younger dad to take care of my mom. His eyes had been kind then, not full of hatred. My cheek stung painfully and I stopped myself from crying at the last moment.
I studied my father's features as he caught his breath. He looked different- aged. His hair was almost completely gray, there were dark circles under his eyes, and his essence was just not as young as he used to seem. I shook my head and looked away, looked at my mother. This seemed to anger him more.
“Don't look at her! You did this to her! Don't look at her!” this time his voice was loud. A second later there was a knock on the door. I tried to cover my swelling cheek naturally as I opened the door. The nurse from before stood there, looking up at me with a small smile. I smiled back, saying I hit my cheek on the bed post and needed someone to look at it. She looked at me suspiciously, but led me out of the room.
Once I had an ice pack I wandered over to the sign-out desk. The lady glanced at me with confusion for a second- her eyes lingering on the hand that held the ice pack to my cheek.
“Lucas Ferry,” I stated my name, pulling her out of her short daze. She nodded once and checked off a name. I walked into the waiting room and found my sister sitting on one of the chairs. She was staring off into space, so I sat down beside her and sighed.
She looked at me and blinked.
“You were in the room with the sick lady, right?” she asked me slowly, as if I was a stranger. I realized I was.
“Yeah, I was there... that's my- I mean, our mom,” I smiled at her, wondering how she would react. She just nodded as if this made complete sense.
“So we're siblings. Daddy was looking at the lady with nice eyes,” her statement was calm, but it made my eyes become wet again. She looked at me and put her hand over the hand I had on my ice pack.
“I'm Nicole,” her voice was happy and her eyes were kind.
“I know,” I replied, laughing lightly. “I'm Lucas.”
She smiled and grabbed my arm in a tight hug. I relaxed slightly in her grip, but the feeling didn't last long. Out father came out a short moment later. He glared at me, but walked over with a nurse. The nurse smiled sympathetically and sat down beside me.
“Mr. Ferry...” she started, but I cut her off.
“I'm Lucas. Not Mr. Ferry.”
“Lucas, then,” she shrugged once. “Your mom is... near the end. This kind of cancer can't be cured... and shes had it for awhile. Since you don't have any other family in this area your father will once again have custody of you.”
This shocked me more than my father's glare.
“Stay... with my father?” my voice betrayed my surprise. The nurse nodded.
“Yes... Lucas. I'm very sorry about your mother,” she spoke in a quiet voice, a sympathetic look crossing her face. I grimaced and looked away. I pressed my ice pack to my cheek harder, letting the cold burn me lightly. After a second she stood up, smiling at Nicole. Finally she walked away, leaving me with my dad and Nicole.
“Well...” my father started to speak. “That's that, then. Nicole come back to the hotel with me. We'll pick Lucas up after school tomorrow.” All he gave me was a quick look, then he started walking, making Nicole run after him. When he had walked out of the hospital I slumped down in my seat, burying my face in my hands. I waited five minutes before I got up from my seat and walked out of the doors.
My house was only a few blocks away. I had run from the house to get there, so I began walking back. I passed the corner gas station- the one I used to hang out at with my friends. My eyes started to fill, but I quickly blinked back the tears. I looked up at the sky to take my mind off of everything. I was surprised when I saw the color. It was a dark purple, fading off to pink and orange on the horizon.
When I finally got home the pinks and oranges were gone. The house me and my mother lived at was nice. It was a medium sized duplex with a nice porch. It even had a porch swing. I rummaged in my pocket for the key as I walked up to the door. I found it quickly- it was the only thing in my pocket. When I was inside I looked around. Everything was how I had left it.
My homework was scattered all over the couch. The television's pictures still flashed across the screen. As I looked I saw Gerald Henderson shoot the winning basket. A small smile crossed my face for a second. Then I saw my cell phone on the couch. I grabbed it and flipped it open. A long sigh escaped my lips as I rolled my eyes. Five text messages from my best friend Amber sat in my inbox. I shook my head and opened the first one.
Hey lucas. R u going 2 skool tomorow?
I laughed at her spelling and continued on to the next one.
Lucas? Text me baaaack!
Hello? Is something wrong??? U always reply 2 meeee!
Lucas... call me, ok? I want 2 no whats going on.
“She always knows,” I muttered to myself. Biting my lip ring, I dialed her cell phone number. She picked up on the second ring.
“Finally, Lucas! I've been waiting for... thirty minutes!” Amber's voice was loud in my ear.
“Well, hi to you, too, Amber,” I didn't know what my voice sounded like just then.
“Hey... are you OK? You sound sad.”
“Um... I'm actually not OK” I sat down on an open spot on the couch.
“Whats wrong? Do you want me to come over? I just got a new Invader Zim DVD.” I laughed before I replied.
“Well... my mom has cancer... and I'm moving to my dad's house after school tomorrow.” There was silence on Amber's end for awhile. Then she spoke.
“I'm coming over, Lucas. Get some snacks out, light the fire, and clean up as much as possible. I'm going to get our friends to come to your house. I'll see you soon,” her voice was firm. It was the same voice she used in committee meetings. I closed my phone and stood up, stacking my homework like she had asked.
Going to the kitchen, I set my backpack on a chair, letting it sag. Once in the kitchen I grabbed a bag of chips, a bag of cookies, and a six-pack of Root Beer. After I had set them on the table, I sank onto the couch, laying my head on the back of it and closing my eyes. I knew I wouldn't fall asleep but it wouldn't hurt trying. After a second I got up and walked to the kitchen again, heading for the CD player this time.
I looked through the CDs, not looking for anything in particular. I found a mix CD Amber had made me and put it in the player. The first song started playing. I looked at the make-shift CD cover to find out what the song was called.
Just Abuse Me – Air Traffic
I grimaced, touching my hand to my cheek and thinking of my father. The song sounded alright, though, so I turned the volume up and went back to the living room. As soon as I had sat down again on the couch someone knocked on the door. I sat up and shuffled over to it, opening it slowly.
Amber stood in front of me, a large smile on her face. She opened the storm door and walked past me into the house. I closed the door and turned to face her. She hugged me tightly and buried her head in my shoulder. I hugged her back, resting my cheek on her long, brown hair. She didn't let go until the doorbell rang. I smiled at her so she wouldn't be more worried than she was and turned back to the door. When I opened I saw my whole group of friends standing there. They all held something in their hands.
Cole held a stack of CDs, Lily held a six-pack of beer, Jenny held two giant envelopes, Nick held a box of markers, and Caitlin held a large piece of poster board. They all laughed at my confused expression and pushed past me. They put their stuff on the coffee table, then pushed all of the furniture out of the way. I didn't stop them, just shut the door softly. When the furniture was out of the way Cole picked up his CDs and walked into the kitchen.
“Do you mind me putting some of this on, Lucas?” his voice carried through the three rooms.
“Its fine!” I called back, my voice just slightly quieter.
There was a loud clatter, then the music cut off. The sound of the CD player opening was heard through the silence, then more music started playing. I looked over at my other friends, watching to see what they were going to do with the other stuff. I had a small idea of what we were going to with the beer, but no idea about anything else. Lily and Jenny called me over at the same time, patting the spot on the floor in between the two of them.
“We saved you a spot, Lucas!” they said in unison, ending their sentence by glaring at each other. Lily and Jenny were identical twins in every way. They both had light brown hair, hazel eyes always shinning with energy, and they always thought the same way. Nick laughed from his spot beside Lily. Caitlin sat quietly, as usual, between Jenny and Amber. She had placed the poster-board and box of markers in the middle of the small circle they had made on my floor.
I finally went and sat down, smiling at Lily as she handed me a beer. I quickly opened it and took a small sip, savoring it for the long night I knew would come. Once everyone had one Jenny opened the large envelope she held and dumped its contents onto the floor. Pictures spilled out, falling onto the poster board. My eyes widened when I saw them. Picking up a couple, I realized that they all had me in them. I held three- two of them were of me in seventh grade and the other was a photo from the trip the Yearbook club had gone on the year before. I smiled when I saw them, finally figuring out what was going on. Jenny rested a hand on my back lightly, a gentle smile coming across her face.
“We're gonna miss you, Lucas. You know that, right?” she took her hand away and started sifting through the photos before I could reply. Staring at those three photos brought back so many memories I didn't know what to do. Until then I hadn't realized how much my life in Durham meant to me.
Being born and raised in one city for all 16 years of my life had felt so boring only days before. I had wanted to move away, find somewhere new, and fix all of my mistakes. At that moment, though, I thought much differently. Sitting with my closest friends, ones I had known since sixth grade, ones that meant the world to me, made me feel like I was going to be leaving part of myself behind. I smiled to myself, then set the pictures down. Caitlin was already writing on the board, her curly hand-writing big enough to fit the whole board.
When she was done the words 'We'll Miss You, Lucas' almost made me cry. I took another sip of my beer and picked up a couple of pictures. Lily leaned on my shoulder, smiling up at me. I smiled back, then looked away when Cole came into the room. He squatted down between Amber and Nick, smiling widely at me.
“I put on the mix CD from your thirteenth birthday,” he said.
My eyes widened in surprise. “Seriously? Thats probably why I don't know some of these songs!” I laughed, then glanced over at Amber. “Isn't this Bowling For Soup thats playing?”
Amber nodded, smiling widely. “It sure is! Don't you remember? We used to love this song!”
Both Amber and Cole broke out in song, followed by peals of laughter coming from all of us. Everyone started taping and glueing photos to the poster-board. Captions were written above, around, or under each picture. Now and then one of us got up and changed the CD, laughing loudly and singing along as best as we could. The beers were quickly finished off as the night carried on.
Leaving the mess behind, all of us moved to my kitchen. I unlocked the back door and we stepped out into the cold night air. With our jackets zipped up tight, we walked into the yard and uncovered the small, round fire-place that sat in the middle of my yard. Nick and Caitlin brought out chairs from the garage while I started the fire with the rest of my friends. We were all seated around the fire quickly.
It grew quiet, the only sound being the crackle of the fire. Amber, sitting on my lap at the time, leaned her head onto my shoulder, burrowing her face into my neck. I smiled softly and leaned my head on her hair, remembering when she had first come to my house that evening.
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