Sebastian felt him staring at him and cracked an eye open. He studied his expression. "...What is it? Something on your mind?"

"Yeah…But I can't make myself do it." He said softly, "But I want to…"

Sebastian squeezed his hand, gently. "Do what?" he asked, softly.

Ryan shivered, "A kiss…" He said softly.

Sebastian smiled, opening his eyes but not moving. "Do you want me to kiss you? I will not be forceful...I'll be gentle," he promised, quietly.

Ryan watched him for a moment before nodding slowly. "Yes…" Hecsaid softly feeling worried.

Sebastian sat up a bit more, slowly, and carefully moved Ryan a bit closer to him. He paused, giving him a moment to possibly back out. Then, when he didn't, Sebastian leaned forward, slowly, and gently pressed his lips to Ryan's.

Ryan tensed all at once wanting to cry out and relax at the same time. He felt a smal whimper build as he held on tight to Sebastian not moving away or closer just there with his lips pressed against him in suspended animation.

Sebastian simply held him, keeping their lips pressed together. He kept them still, and he kept his embrace soothing. He wanted him to calm down.

Ryan slowly returned the kiss. Feeling panic as he kept reminding himself who he was with and that he made the choices.

Sebastian waited a moment, and then he slowly moved his lips along with him, following his pace. He didn't want to spook him.

Ryan was thankful for this as he kissed him slowly still a little wary and his stomach sickness grew lightly.

Sebastian let him go as he pleased, allowing his lips to move snugly in time with Ryan's. He was overflowing with joy inside, but he was quite calm on the outside...

Ryan slowly pulled away the silent demons affecting hum much mire than the relaxing knowledge that Sebastian wouldn't hurt him. He silently curled into a ball shaking a bit. He remained like that foe a while, "I'm-I'm sorrry…" He managed still a thight ball.

Sebastian slowly scooped him up into his arms and kissed his cheek, reassuringly. "It's all right. I understand. It's going to take some time."

Ryan shivered clinging to him whimpering lightly.

Sebastian held him, running a hand through his hair gently. "You gonna be okay, Ryan?"

"Who knows…" Ryan said weakly looking up at Sebastian, "I might never be okay not like you and Gray are anyway…" He said sadly.

((brb))

Sebastian frowned, then poked his forehead. "Now, get that negativity outta here. You're going to be fine. You just need time."

Ryan nodded, "I'll try…" He said softly restng his head against Sebastian.

"Good." Sebastian's smile was charming, reassuring. "Should we get back to our nap, or would you like another kiss?"

"Just a nap..." Ryan said softly looking at him. He was still a bit to scared to kiss him again.

Sebastian nodded, laying himself back down and gingerly holding Ryan close. "Works for me..." Their foreheads were pressed together, in a gentle manner. This was so that while they rested, Ryan would get used to having their faces so close together and he would be able to try to kiss him anytime he gathered up enough courage to.

Ryan sighed closing his eyes relaxing. He felt comfortable. He trusted Sebastian, had to really. Ryan nuzzled him gently, "Good night Pedobear..."

"Night, punk." Sebastian closed his eyes, arms wrapped around him. "Have a nice rest."