Yeah....last year and back one year were my time of falling-for-older-guys. I hated it. They'd always start out as my best friend but then I'd fall for them because they were so mature and I needed that...but wow did I ever screw up. I fell for them but they didn't like me back. Basically I forced two heartbreaks on myself. O.O

I prefer older guys because they are more mature.
but I very rarely get rejected, one of my very few rejections actually remains my best friend, kindof. xD He's been really busy lately.

It all has to do with maturity. I'm a bit more mature than some people in my age group, so I would date someone in my age group (who is at the same maturity level as I am, more or less), or just a couple of years above. I'd rather not date someone who was twelve when I was in the womb. That's a little weird.

I know that people say that age is just a number and maturity matters more, but you have to draw the line somewhere. Maturity comes with experience, and experience comes with age. If a person dates someone who is significantly older than they are, there are going to be maturity differences. The way that they handle situations will be very different. The younger partner may be interested in something that the older partner grew tired of a couple of years ago.

I agree. My one crush was 19 and I was 14...I was talking to him about how I felt about him and he said that he was sorry and he said "I'm putting the age difference between us."

Situations make me uncomfortable... a friend of my would-be stepsister (long story... don't ask) was 16 and dating a 28-year old. They liked getting high together. Gross much?

Pshya. Ewww... Wow. Looks like someone had a drug buddie. XD

I think that once you reach past thirty the age difference don't matter. There's just too many child molesters out there who are like 40-50 years old going after kids that are still 18 or even in their early 20's. That kind of thing I have a problem with just because a lot of times those older men/women are just messing around and manipulating the younger person. Yes I do consider someone 18 to still be a child even though legally they are an "adult".

However once you reach 30ish you should have enough life experiences to know what to watch out for so that's why I say age does not matter after that point.

I tend to go for people a few years younger than I am. I have no idea why it always ends up that way though. I have had 16 year olds ask me out and I'm 26. I stay away from even hanging out with kids that young.

I tend to prefer guys a few years older than me simply because the majority of men my age are just too stupid for me to able to stand for more than a few minutes. And even then, it's a miracle if I'm actually interested in someone. I'm extremely independent and dislike the whole relationship game.

maybe youre just picking the wrong older guys. just be more careful about giving your heart away. heartbreak sucks, i know. :gonk:

im taken by a guy 7 and a half years older than me.

*cough* I'm married to a man 18 years my senior. Sometimes it doesn't work so well -- he'll assume I remember the same things from my childhood that he does, like cartoons and music and fashion, but as he grew up in the 60s and 70s, and I grew up in the 80s and 90s, often there are complete disconnections. I know our relationship working is rare; the first few years we were together, people constantly mentioned failed younger girl-older man relationships to me. But we actually met in college, him as a re-entry student, me as a first year. I think that's why our relationship works: we're in similar places in our lives. In fact, right now I've gone past him, as I'm in graduate school and he's been delayed by his illness and disability. But it's evening out now with his business starting.

Anyway, older guys are great -- if they understand that you're younger, that you're not the same generation, that you might still change. But there are lots of advantages, especially with sex! :P Extra experience pays off.

Though as you say, you fall for them but they don't reciprocate; that can happen to anyone in any relationship at any age. :) As my sister has said, "Every relationship you ever have will be a failure. Except one. Maybe."

Oh wow! I just laughed hard when you said "extra experience" about sex. Lol. :) And what your sister said just made my heart sink a little. Don't get me wrong, I know it's true. But -looks at boyfriend- I want this to work out with him and I and I don't want with all my heart for it to be a failure. :'( And I am only 15 too! Oh why did I have to fall for him at this age and for him to actually accept me!?

My boyfriend is 7/8ish years older then me but looks and acts (Fair bit of the time) my "age" and younger.
I have come to the thought that he has the experience and I have the maturity.

I'm 19, I stopped being a teen 2 years ago.
He's 27 (28 in Dec!) and still acts his goofy old self. > o> <3

I still love him though. c x

Yea, once you get past age 18, the age difference doesn't really matter anymore as long as both partners get along. The reason why you are probably being rejected so much lilian is because at your age, men have to be worried about breaking certain laws which are enforced nowadays and can land a guy in a lot of trouble for many years to come.

With my last girlfriend, we started dating when I was 22 and she was 17. We might have actually started sooner, but I was really paranoid about doing something and getting in trouble over it.

Well I know that that was the problem, but what really upset me was that they could of told me how they felt and then talk out the problems with me. It's not that hard.

Originally Posted by lillian90005

Well I know that that was the problem, but what really upset me was that they could of told me how they felt and then talk out the problems with me. It's not that hard.

It may be easy for you, but it's not that simple for everyone.
I do have my moments, I know sometimes I can't communicate my feelings at all! I know it flusterates him sometimes when I cant tell him what I want or how I feel, but it happens, words wont come. Around him words just don't hold any meaning.

Its a part of being in love I guess.

Probably......

I agree -- at 15, older men will still see you as somewhat of a child, no matter how mature you are. The laws against statutory rape are very strict, AFAIK, and that will prevent a lot of men from wanting to get involved. Sex is a strong part of a healthy relationship, and for men, sometimes it's the only way they feel they can get close to you. Women tend to split body/mind more clearly than men -- in my experience at least -- so if a guy can't get close to your body, he's might feel like he doesn't really know you. I'm not saying that sex is the only important thing, but it *is* important.

However, the most important thing is communication, as everyone says, and maybe with the current guy you can try to bring up some of the topics he might not bring up on his own.

As for what my sister said, yeah, it's depressing -- but also kind of refreshing, you know? Relationships are projects, never-ending journeys, all that fancy zen phraseology. They're a lot of work, and sometimes they simply *don't* work, and it might not be anyone's fault. And knowing that "every relationship you ever have will be a failure, except one -- maybe" makes me, at least, feel better about the failed relationships in my life, and realize that the one I have now, which is currently working, could still fail, and that if I don't want it to, I have to work at it, make compromises, ask him to make compromises, etc.

I hope everything works out for you!!

Hahahaha thank you! But I've finally found someone who's my age that I can love and loves me back! <3 :D