A short story, that I hope to one day delve into more depth with :] I hope you like!

" Curiously, I've found that the same question is asked, time and time again. By all different types of people, 'What if'; And then it comes to the point where I realise, I've never even thought about the 'What if's' of my life. I don't see the need to address the question, I've got what I need, everything I wanted. I've got it because I've worked for it. I live in this lovely little flat just off of Portabello Road, a very strange little place if I must say so myself. However it serves my needs right down to the hilt, perfectly sized for a place to live. For me. Exactly how I want it.

I own a little coffee shop below my quaint but elegant flat. Passers by often stop and come in after shopping in the market. They would rest their feet and ogle at what bargain's they had made on the stalls. Many a strange person I would meet; some hoping to flog their strange wares and others merely just looking for a quiet place to sip their coffee, whilst eating one of my delicately made pastries.

After a long shift I'd go upstairs to my little flat. I'd turn the TV on and relax while I ate something that I'd just thrown together. Most of the time it wouldn't what I'd particularly want to eat. Just a little something to quench my hunger. I'd also have my usual cup of tea ready at my side, Nice and strong, yet some what sweet. I would do this on a regular basis, almost routinely; unless something popped up and I needed to close shop.

Today was like any other. I woke, had my tea and toast, and read the local newspaper. Shortly after I went downstairs and opened the shop. A little earlier today due to the frost bitten winter weather, It seemed to choke the very normality of the London street. An hour had passed and a rather strange little woman walked in, abruptly ordered a large capucchino and my first out of the oven, Maple and Pecan lattice. " You know I can't help wondering something, it's rather silly really" she said. She then placed her plum coloured beret into her bag and swept the mousy brown locks from her rather rosy looking cheek. Her green eyes flared as she took the coffee I had just made for her. I'd seen her last Friday, she didn't stop long though; only to drop off something she'd bought for her husband and wanted to hide from his prying eyes.

"What is?" I asked, knowing full well this was going to be a long and lengthy conversation about how wonderful Cameron was. She'd been like it since he proposed to her last fall, they'd not made any plans yet as far as I knew. At least not as far as the date was concerned. "Well, What if me and Cameron never got together. I mean, What if this was all just one fabulous dream!" There, she'd said it, 'What if'. It's a rather plausible question, One can't help but think these things. Full stop. My mind's gone blank... I can't remember what happens next. I put down my pen. I shift uneasily in my seat. The kettle whistling in the corner brings back the harsh reality, that none of it is real. What if I did own my little flat above a coffee shop that a was a local favourite; what if I did have my quiet, quaint life in London. What if May was real, and came to share with me her life's story. I turn the kettle off and pour the steaming liquid into my chipped mug. I gather my pen and my notes and set them into my torn old folder. "Erynn, Can you come here sweet heart, I need your opinion."
"Yes mum" I obediently replied. Often I'd wish my dreams were real, all the while knowing that there was no hope; I was a very long way off from achieving what I longed for most. But one can't help but ask the same question time and time again. 'What if....'"



Opinions and Feedback is greatly recieved :] Thank you for reading guys. Please bare in mind though, this is very a rough idea. Keep in with Mene TOS and be constructive in your feedback. Thank you Again!

To read part two please click here.

Hmm. You have a few well either run on sentences or oddly capital words here and there.

flog they're strange wares

I believe you want their instead of they're. :3

strange little creature walked in abruptly ordered a large capucchino

Hmmm a "strange little creature?" does your story take place with creatures other then humans? If so, perhaps more of a description of why she's a creature? If not perhaps it could be better worded as a strange small woman?

Overall it seems like a good solid start. :3 Keep up the good work!

Oh there is one question. If she owns the shop, does she still live with her mother? That felt a little unclear.

I see what you mean, and thank you for the corrections,.. Hm when I say strange little creature, I'm referring to the woman as human but mannerisms are almost creature like? If that makes sense, But then I could just be descriptive like you said and describe her as a strange little woman. And no :] Up until

Full stop, My mind's gone blank... I can't remember what happens next.

It's Erynns imagination running wild, and she's playing into what she wants to have, and then suddenly realises it's just a dream, and she doesn't have any of it. Does this make sense?

Ah I see. Well then you explain more along the lines of her mannerism then? Maybe something like "strange little creature walked in.... She looked like a woman but her mannerism of _____" along those lines? Right now she sounds like a normal human woman. Or yes. xD Just a "strange little woman" works as well.

Oh. Hmmm perhaps you might want to make that a separate paragraph then? It felt as if she was still pondering her talking to lady. Ah I missed the "harsh reality" sentence that followed afterward that also might be why.

No worries, I'll make the changes to it :] I really appreciate your honest.. I can see why it seems a little strange since I just flat out wrote out the ramblings in my head. So I hadn't drafted it at all :P thank you very much though

A dream within a dream... Love the way you put it together but i was wondering why would you use this word

watch the TV whilst eating something

toast whilst reading the morning newspaper

You used it a couple of times and it gives the story a different sound and aspect to it. Which i love but just wonder why...
Other than your run on sentences your writing is very wonderful and i truely love it! makes me think of the "what if's" in my life.

I'm glad you feel that way :] Ill repair my sentences so it's a little easier on the imagination, Thank you for your feedback.

Edit: Please note that grammatical errors have been rectified (I apologise if I've missed some or put something in the wrong place, I've lost my reading glasses :o). Also sentences in red have been changed/added due to sounding better than what was originally there. Thank you for your time in reading this. I very much appreciate it ^_^

nooo don't change the whilst that was perfect with your story! i was just wondering about it... man now i feel bad for saying something lol

I only changed a few 'whilst's' ;) so there are still some in there

Okay... because i like it with the "whilst" it makes it sound very original... i like it much... can't wait for the rest... if there is a rest..

There will be more my sweet ;] however I've yet to think of it.

Originally Posted by Night Watcher

No worries, I'll make the changes to it :] I really appreciate your honest.. I can see why it seems a little strange since I just flat out wrote out the ramblings in my head. So I hadn't drafted it at all :P thank you very much though

:3 No problem. Happy to help.

Re: Whilst
It's actually an archaic spelling of while (though dictionary.com says that the British still use it today, but I don't know anything about that) so it's probably giving an older feeling vibe. Or that's kinda what it feels like to me. xD I'm actually not sure if it's correct or not (since you're using modern day london) but it gives a nice feeling to your writing so I didn't point it out.

Me and my family have always used 'whilst' since it just seems to fit in with what is being said at the time. :P It's nice though, to find out that it has a deeper meaning. :]

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"5:30 came, and passed. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tock. The room passed from black, to smouldering grey. Furniture became recognisable. It wasn't long before my alarm sounded obediently. However much I wished it wasn't, there was no mistaking that the time had come for me to now routinely wash, dress and go to college.

Looking in the bathroom mirror, I noticed my eyes no longer had the same look to them; they'd become somewhat hazed, lifeless. I'd put it down to not getting much sleep at all. This I could account for yesterdays happenings, it seemed so real and yet it wasn't. I'd written all my thoughts down, everything. Up until that point.... What was it again?.
College that day was the same, boring, mundane, simple. Except for home ec. I'd taken my usual seat. Listened to the 20minute lecture for pastry making; and then quickly hastened to make my favourite dessert.
The recipe was right in front of me, and yet it had become incomprehensible. No matter the length I stared; it still remained a blur, a jumble of letters and numbers. Intertwined. I couldn't remember anything, I didn't know what to do; and to be honest the prospect of not being able to make something so familiar. Well, it was scary. Something so simple. I'd made it a million times before. And yet?.

---

May was positively bouncing, I knew the alcohol had hit her; And this was the result. I couldn't help but giggle, as the monotonous thump of music continued to drone on in the background. After closing shop at 6, I'd found May waiting outside. Exactly where she said she would be this morning; when she promptly announced we were both going to the pub tonight. It was a new pub named 'Tremble'. I'd assumed it was called this because of the thumping music that could be heard coming from inside. I'd ordered a Malibu and coke, My favourite since I'd acquired the taste for coconut. She ordered a Rum and Black. Several hours later, And like I said; a positively bouncing May.
I'd said goodbye to May, as we parted to go home. I didn't realise I was this badly intoxicated, walking in a straight line seemed to be a struggle in itself.
However tomorrow I needed to open shop again, since the market was opening early. So being as drunk as I was, was not an option.