Here's a short... chapter I wrote for my story. It was all I could manage with my Writer's Block.

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Chapter One

I observe Jem from my seat across the room. He’s drawing in his pad again, another picture to add to his extensive collection. They’re everywhere, his portraits – the sudden splashes of colour against stark, white walls. He is so absorbed in his task that he doesn’t even acknowledge my presence. I turn my gaze from him to the white floor, a stray pencil sitting near my feet. I bend down to retrieve it, but hesitate, my fingers hovering only centimetres away from it. No one was fond of me touching their belongings. Don’t be irrational. You’re simply returning it. What could happen? Frowning, I reach out for the pencil, my fingers brushing the smooth object before it begins to dissipate and then, disappears completely. Cursing myself, I looked up, apprehensive about his response. Jem says nothing. He had been concentrating on his drawing. He hadn’t seen what had happened to that pencil. I sit upright and brush down my clothes, looking down at my hands. It had happened again.

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Five years earlier…

“Don’t touch.” Alec instructed me sharply as he led me through the castle hallways. I merely nodded, as I took the liberty of observing my surroundings. The interior was not extravagant. It was actually rather bleak. The walls were washed in white, and the only bursts of colour where the sombre paintings that were strung up here and there.

I was not aware of where he was taking me. In truth, I was not aware of how I had arrived at the castle. I only remembered waking up to see him gazing down at me, inspecting this uninvited guest. I had touched his ebony cloak, only to have it disperse beneath my fingers. I had been afraid, confused… Where was I? Who was I? Why did things disappear when I touched them? Alec had taken pity on me then. “Don’t be afraid. Come, take my hand.” I would never forget the tenderness in which he addressed me.

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Critiques are welcome and encouraged. ^-^

Keep in mind I'm not much of a writer though. ><

Wow i really liked your story i dont have much knowledge on this stuff but i have to say you have a definate flow and direction already. The format of the story was well done and easy to read and take in. From the subject manner I have to say I am hoping to be around for the explanation. I enjoyed the present tense fading to the past to begin the explaining of the strange happening. It makes me curious about our lead character and I hope to see where this story goes. Keep up the good work.

Very good. I'm curious about the cause for items that the protagonist touches disappears and where they go to. You need to change 'her' to 'him'

I turn my gaze from her to the

Jem is a male in the rest of the story. The flashback clues the reader into the beginning of the back story for the character. Keep up the good work.

Whoa. You've got me thinking, "I want to read more!" Even thought it was short, it was still an amazing read. You put a lot into those 3 paragraphs. Not enough to overwhelm readers, but just perfect.