Yep, Jelly fixed it for me again. :sweat: I hate to be bothering her like that all the time. Hopefully,. I won't have anymore issues though and I'll just be a good lil Menewshan, not causing any problems for anyone *golden halo shines over head* ^^

-pats Zephi and shines halo- :lol:

Yes, totally a productive memeber of menewsha and not causing anymore headaches for people >.>

:lol: At least it wasn't intentional!

No, of course not. It was that phishing thing that started it. I kinda freaked out when I realized what it was and went to change my info, all of it, passwords and e-mail... but the e-mail that I had changed it to was the one that I had changed my other account FROM and it didn't get e-mails from mene. So I kinda screwed myself on that one :( No more of that though. And not falling for any phishing crap... I am not a fish!

*blows a bubble*
:sweat:
That bubble is irrelevant to my argument :ninja:

Ahahah, awww. Well, you were just trying to be safe. :yes:
At least you're aware of it and it all got sorted out!

Oooh bubbles~ :drool:

You just made me think of the yellow fish in Finding Nemo. :XD Bubbles!!!! *covers teh treasure chest*

O_O mine!
>.> Stay back
<.< I'm watchin you...

Oh gosh. xDDD It was a nice movie, but man it got so much hype. Was funny though~

When I saw ti in the theater... I started laughing, then cried 2 mins later... then laughed.. then cried.. then laughed.. then cried.. then laughed and omg happy cry at the end. It's such an emotional rollercoaster. I didn't like it. Especially cause th theater was packed.

The show they do in the Animal Kingdom (i think it's there) is pretty cool (and indoors, so it's great when it's hot out!) or maybe it's at Sea World... I don't think Disney and Seaworld are partners though... so... Animal Kingdom. It was cute. I think I cried then too. darn it. >.<

I never saw it in theaters. I saw it in school (teacher played it for us one day when there was nothing to do) after everyone had seen it and the hype was up. XDD
It is so sad though. ; o;

They do a Nemo show in the Animal Kingdom too?

Well I did it. I went to the psych ward today to go visit the inpatient girls, representing myself as someone in recovery. It went well. I planned to stay an hour and ended up staying closer to 3 hours. I talked a lot. So did a few of the other girls. I got pretty much into it and didn't want to leave because the questions kept on coming. I was emotionally drained when we left and my mom took us to our favorite sushi place. She's like, if you're ok the way you're dressed we'll go (I didn't have much on) and I said hell yeah I'd go naked to get sushi :eager:

Anyway thats the short version if anybody wants the long version PM me.

sooo tired.... *flops on bed* night guys... talk to you tomorrow night!

good night, llonka♥.

kimby, that's so awesome! I'm glad that things went so well for you! I'm sure that a lot of the people there would take from what you said and hopefully keep in in mind on their own road to recovery ^^ That's pretty cool you know. And then sushi afterwards. Even better. A good day all in all, eh? :)

llonka, you had that birthday party right? How did it go?

the party was ok. he turned 60. :lol: he cried because he didn't know the whole family was there or about the party. we finally got home last night about 10:00 pm. :P such a long drive! now i have a freakin nasty carpet to clean because the darn cats decided the living room is a litter box. and the carpet is stained where the fish tank broke. ugh.

Awww. That was sweet of you guys then. > w<

Icky! Poor home~

Hello Insanity Ward!

@ kimby - that was great thing to do, I am sure that you gave some other people hope.

@ llonka - I'm glad you got home safe. Sorry about the carpet, I hate when things happen while you are away from home.

I am getting better at handling the incoming emotions. I process them later. I did become overwhelmed but it was Saturday night late, I started thinking about the whole experience. Its like my brain recorded the anger and fear and f r e a k of some of these girls for me to play back later. I could feel it starting up and I was like mom, heeeeelllppp!! She got out my psych "accessories" and belt (which are a bit more connected than the ones on my avatar) and sat with me while I cried out. I felt stupid, but she said hey you didn't do this when you were there - you were able to postpone your emotions. That might be the best I can do, my therapist said its not healthy to keep it stuffed. It's just embarrassing to be 10x more sensitive than everybody else.

Kimby, at least you made it through the whole ordeal when it was happening. Sometimes that's the important part, to keep control of your composure while you can. I'm glad that your mom is there to help you. She sheems really supportive and everything. :) And, you didn't keep it in, you did let it out, so it SHOULDN't bother you once you can let it out, right? :)

i did a water rinse with my shampooer and it looks a million times better. hope it can stay that way. :P i'm hungry and we don't have anything. guess i'll have to run to the store. :XP hubby called in so he's home. i guess i should run to the store and get some lunch!

I do feel better when I release it. But you can see why I'm scared of going off to school in another city. Probably living by myself since I could never find a room mate that would put up with me!

I feel like I'm good with my emotions. Its just that I'm like an antenna for OPE (other peoples emotions) especially if they are strong and right in front of me. Just to give a more ordinary example, I can't stand it if I see a child crying in public, especially if the parent is being mean to him or her and yelling to stop crying and they just cry more. I have to get away from it or I will cry myself, or I'll want to run up and pick the child up and take her away from the mean parent and that would get me in big trouble! The more I think about it my psych ward visit was not as stressful on me as my last trip to wal mart. The psych ward was much more supportive for me and I didn't feel I had to run away from it.

Well you'd have to wonder what kind of things your room mate would be keeping to himself/herself to be your own roomie. Everyone has something of their own that they are trying to hide, you just wonder what everyone's thing is. Hmmm.

Ahaha. Wal-mart can be a stressful place. SO why do you think that it is that you tap into other people's emotions more than your own. Maybe there's something in theirs that relates to an emotion of your own that you are hiding away. Seeing it reflected in someone else triggers it and elevates it, bringing it to life and giving it a face and a personality.

@zephi my therapist says it's an empathy disorder, maybe. I wasn't diagnosed until this past year when I had to get honest and describe what has been happening to me. I was always that way, it got out of control starting when I was 12 but I acted out in other ways. How do you explain what's happening to you when you don't understand it? After everything I had been through I found myself still having the same reactions, but just more able to stuff them at least long enough to get away. She said a lot of girls go through this in early teens but outgrow it. I guess I haven't outgrown it, I just have my own mechanism.

For the Wal mart situation, when I see a child being mistreated my reaction is not anger. I want to take the child away but I don't have anger toward the abusive parent, instead I want to intervene. The thought came to me once when a mother smacked her little boy in the face - this was very close to me. She hit him hard. My impulse was to get down on my knees between the mother and the child and tell the mother to hit me instead. It was like I had already felt the pain, and I was deep down willing to let this woman beat me as much as she wanted, as long as she didn't hit the little boy again.

I have never been mistreated that way by my parents or anyone else, so its not like its some deep buried trauma. I just have memories as far back as being only 3-4 years old, if I saw a child being mistreated it felt like it was happening to me, but most of all I wanted it to stop even if it meant having to take the punishment myself.

The strict conditions in the psych ward, little or no clothing, restraint belts and all, clicked and it was almost like I was able to take on that pain and make it go away. Visiting was sort of like that but the girls I saw were mostly accepting of their situation and happy to talk to me. If I had been dealing with girls struggling and upset, I would have had a lot more anxiety with it and probably would have asked to take their place. Which I know I can't do, but sometimes if I just show I'm willing, it makes a difference for both of us.

I hate when they tell you that you need ot be honest with people. It's so much easier to pretend sometimes. *le sigh* Hmm, some things people don't outgrow.... like pokemans ::3 Different subject though...

I think that if you had done that, or said that, the mother would have definitely thought a little bit more about what she was doing and how she was not only physically abusing her child but mentally abusing him. I mean, hitting anyone on the face is wrong and disrespectful in the worst way. :( At least you weren't treated like this, many kids were or are. But feeling that way about it is different, that's for sure. I think that most people would just look the other way. Many kids run around wild and don't get disciplined at all, there's no balance... which is what my therapist says I need... balance. :XD

I still can't imagine an actual psyche ward, well, I guess I can. My chaplain worked in one, but ti was the worst kind. The kind for children who were abusive or violent and hurt themselves or other people, a lot. The kids in there, you had to wonder what had happened to them to be so... desperate for any kind of attention. I mean... >.> One boy shoved a thermometer cover up his urethra :shock: ouch... and then, the stupid nurse left another oen in there a few weeks late and he did the same thing. :headdesk:

The place I was at, they use physical restraints rather than chemical. Which I found out is not the normal practice any more, they would much rather knock you out than tie you up. But most of us in there already had enough drugs to last a lifetime. I did get meds for my bipolar which were always being changed and adjusted, but they never sedated me. I am grateful for that because I remember every minute struggling in restraints, and what went through my brain until it cleared, and I calmed. If I had just been drugged up, I would have had no learning experience at all from it. I know restraints are traumatic for a lot of people, but for me and I think a lot of other girls, we would admit that they had a therapeutic effect. For some like a certain Kimby they still do. Sometimes just a belt and bracelets or cuffs make a difference, don't even have to have them locked.

Thats what I like about my avatar here, I can easily change my Mini-Kimby to reflect my mood. She does sort of look like me except I don't have a Bratz doll head.:O