The halfbreed ignored the question, seeing Bram without his arm would be far to upsetting. Valon gave his lover a sly glance seeing him getting flustered, wanting him to comment on the Captain's appearance. He leaned over kissing Bram's cheek and taking the other man's hand. "He took me to see you and I stayed with you all night. That was our first sleep over. Your mama made us a really delicious breakfast and kissed my head."

He sighed paying with Bram's hand, tracing the tendons and ligaments, then the scar in the palm. "She used to call me something...I can't remember for the life of me. She'd call me the special name then she'd put both of our hands together." He held onto Bram's hand tightly. "Wierd huh?"

The captain bit his lip as every corner of his hand was traced over. He wasn't used to affection like that and it was.. nice. Really nice. Casually he leaned over so they were shoulder to shoulder and layed his head down as he watched the other man's fingers move over his palm.

"My mum was a little weird, yes," he smirked," she kept to the old ways all the way up until the end. She passed away a few years ago, you know." Thinking back on her he sighed lightly," She always liked you, you know."

He wrapped his hand around Valons," You know what's strange..? I don't remember our shuttle crashing into the station either. I don't remember any of it.. or anything before it. I barely remember most of our really young childhood together other than you were in it and I didn't want you to play with any of the other kids without me," the captain chuckled.

"..Do you remember a crash?" he asked then, voice becoming quieter. After his dream that night.. he wasn't so sure about the whole ordeal his mother told him about.

Valon kissed the top of Bram's head still playing with the man's hands. Bram had wonderful hands, he kissed the palm and tried to remember the crash.

"I remember this really loud noise and the whole ship shook. Metana was really upset, they left me with the nanny. She said that a trader ship had crashed into the Vallaha. I was really upset that I couldn't come and see." He shook his head. "Metana came back a few hours later, she was crying...really crying. I still have never seen her get so upset. She picked me up and help me close. She told me that there was a little boy that had gotten hurt. That he was really hurt and probably wouldn't make it."

There was more...something he wasn't sure he should tell Bram or not. He leaned his head on Bram's. "I snuck out later after she and father had gone to bed. I wanted to see the little kid that had upset metana so much. You were so hurt and tiny, strapped into all that medical equipment. I was so scared...but something told me you needed me. So I crawled into bed with you. I told you stories and said that you had to come back, so I could have a friend. Metana, found me the next morning curled around you..."

Bram could feel tears welling in his eyes and emotion burning in his chest. Hearing this, like closure almost thirty years later, was somewhat overwhelming. Valon was like a safe area, where the cyborg could be comfortable with emotions he'd bottled up for so long. Still, he wasn't quite ready to let everything fully go. So far, the man had already allowed him to cry, be angry and express love. The captain felt as if he was flip flopping between being okay with his emotions and fears, then back to not wanting to share them at all -- even with Valon. He wiped his eyes and sat up, his voice higher in pitch as he tried to keep everything at bay.

"We're-- we're getting distracted again. Still have a lot of stuff to do today. Boyd will probably need more supplies and you need clothes," he slipped off the desk and composed himself with his back towards the larger man.

"Did you want me to come with? If not I can just send you off with my card or more money. I really should do some inspections in engineering and other.. things," he wrung his hands together, suddenly feeling vulnerable and aware of the metal shell around his right one. Valon never touched that hand..

Dammit Bram, stop it.

Saddened by Bram pulling out of his arms. "Bra-" He stopped himself. The pirate captain obviously wasn't comfortable dealing with these emotions yet. Valon gave Bram a gentle smile and wiped tears from his own eyes. He wanted to nothing more than to pull Bram in into his arms and kiss him until they both felt better.

Valon felt a wave of axitety and vulnerability wash over him. He looked up at his lover to see the man wringing his hands together. What had he done? "Bram? What's a matter?"

Ignoring Bram's question he looked over the other man. What had happened? He moved forward trailing arm down Bram's when it hit him. He had never touched Bram's metal side...the synthetic part of the man's body. Valon moved until he was standing in front of the other man. A graceful fingered hand moved forward, Valon took Bram's metal hand in his own. "I-is it because you think I m afraid of this. That I am disgusted by your metal parts." Valon kissed the palm just like before. "because your wrong."

He took Bram's face in his hands. "I love you! Every part of you and that's the truth." Valon leaned down kissing the other man. "Now lets go get me some clothes."

The cyborg was surprised at how easily Valon picked up on his random thought and feeling. It was just a passing idea, rising its ugly head due to his own insecurities at the moment. How quickly he figured it out was almost scary - like Bram didn't have any secrets at all. That alarmed him more, but he did his best to hide his emotions from the other man who was so lovingly touching him. He didn't want him to know. Bram wanted his secrets.

And he's only touching me there because he thinks I'm upset.. He doesn't really want to. Who would? It's a cold piece of metal..

Again, he mentally told himself to stop it. Such self defeating thoughts had always plagued his mind, though. It was a hard habit to break when it was seamlessly a part of you. Wanting nothing more than for Valon to be pleased with every bit of him didn't help.

"Right, clothes," he smiled weakly, nuzzling some into the half breed's hands before walking around him and out of his quarters. On the way out, he shouted into the medical wing," Contact me on the com with anything you need Boyd!"

"Aye, captain!" replied back in the booming voice.

"Now, what kind of clothes do you like?" he asked. The market was huge, but the shopping district itself was even bigger and rows of shops lined in a beehive like pattern through most of the city.

Valon worried that Bram was still upset. Something in his gut telling him there was more to the story. He let it go though not wanting to upset the other man. Bram was good at pretending everything was alright, pulling the mask up to hide his emotions. He pressed one more kiss to Bram's cheek, before following him out to the market.

"Um..." That was a hard question. He hadn't been allowed to dress himself for the last six years and before that he normally just wore an Alliance uniform. "I-I have no idea what I like. Nothing pink though...that I do know."

He looked over the stalls in the market completely lost.

The captain grinned and watched the lost expression grow on Valon's face. From what he could remember of their childhood, he only wore uniforms or some sort of formal clothes picked out by his parents. The more he thought about it, the more he realized that the poor man had never had his own choice of dress since birth.

Patting his shoulder, Bram chuckled," You'd look good in pink, though. Come on, we'll find a place with lots of variety so you can figure it out." He lead his companion out of the market and more into the shopping district. Neon lights speckled up and down the streets and signs advertising sales littered windows. People of all species popped in and out of various shops with bags in arms from their purchases.

"I think it's over here?" he questioned himself and rounded a corner after a block. It seemed like the place, he held the door open for Valon and followed inside. They were greeted with a wide display of clothing and styles from all over the universe. It was like one of those one-stop shops for fashion. Bram felt lost himself. His clothes were pretty much the same. Tight armored space suit and some boots normally.

"I um.." he started, glancing over at Valon," I'll wait by the dressing room and you can bring things over you want to try on?"

Valon looked at the choices in the shop in awe. Holy Crap! He wrapped his arms around his middle clearly uncomfortable at the noise and amount of people milling around. He looked over the more simpler clothing choices. He liked greens and purples, the halfbreed knew that much. Grabbed a few styles in the two colors and another few in black. He threw in some tank tops and two good pairs of boots.

For pants all he wanted were a few good pairs that would wear well. He grabbed two of the longer pairs in black and brown. A pair of brown working overall's also made it into the steadily growing pile. It was then that Valon realized how little he had before this trip. The feeling of guilt went out the window and he grabbed a few items that he had been looking over debating. Then he saw it.

The coat was a deep blue, darker than anything he had ever seen. It was beautiful. He let his fingers run over the gold colored buttons and through the thick wool. Valon looked at the price tag then turned tail and headed for the changing rooms. "Um...this is what I got. I'm gonna go try them on...be gentle alright." He smiled at Bram before slipping behind the curtain.

Bram was already bored waiting. He sat in a chair and patted his thigh, nodding as older women giggled and looked at him - picturing him as the obedient partner. It was awkward and quickly his gaze flew elsewhere. Thankfully, his eye caught the familiar form of Valon and he contented to watch him instead. A warm smile crossed his lips as the man darted around the clothes rack like a lost puppy. He was glad to give him the experience of choice.. However, the longing gaze at the jacket made his heart flutter.

The captain looked away quickly as Valon approached and nodded with a little salute," I have no idea what I'm doing, so everything is going to look good on you."

When the door shut, Bram got up from his seat and disappeared, then returned as quickly as he left. He made an innocent face and sat up straight as the dressing room door opened again.

Valon peeked his head out and gave a worried glance to his partner. "Don't laugh."

He came out of the dressing room in tight black pant, black tank top and a deep green top over it. The black made his bronze skin glow and the green his eyes pop. The pant fabric was tight enough in the rear to highlight one of his more pleasing features. The halfbreed liked the outfit. It was comfortable and reasonably priced. His news boots stopped at his knees and were black Gredosian Leather. The stuff wore like iron.

"So um...yea...what do you think?"

Bram bit his lip and raised his eyebrows in a very approving way, a smile spreading on his face. It was obvious what he was thinking just from his body language, but in a public store he decided to use more graceful terms," Your ass looks great."

The woman around him scoffed a bit, one gasped, and a few others nodded in agreement with the pirate as they looked over Valon instead of the other women they were with. Bram started nodding with them, a more goofy look on his face from the amusement of it all. He reminded himself to take the man shopping more often.

"And try some colored accessories. You're too brightly colored to wear many colors nicely," one woman chimed in a few seats down and the others agreed.

"Hey, enough oogling he's mine," Bram finally grunted, then waved his lover along," please, continue to model for me. I'm not bored anymore."

Valon blushed profusely. "Thanks." He ducked back into the room trying to not think about the crowd that would be watching him now. He slipped into a green button up shirt and brown pants with some work boots. He had no idea about accessories. Being a slave had forced him to wear a collar and cuffs to many times for his liking. As a result he dreaded the idea of a necklace or bracelet...a ring wouldn't be too bad.

He gave Bram a view of a few other outfits. Finally stepping out in a special outfit he was getting so Bram would take him out. It was a white silk shirt, with a navy and gold vest. He complemented the outfit with a gold carvate and tight black pants. Stepping out he stopped in front of Bram smiling and striking a pose.

"Well?"

The captain was more than happy to oblige Valon with compliments and support over every single thing he tried on. To be honest, the man looked good in anything. He was just that kind of person. However, Bram was a bit biased in that he was enjoying seeing Valon happy and feeling nice about himself. It was a big change from their first encounter.

However, when he came out in the last outfit, Bram's expression softened to something sweeter. He looked.. gorgeous and expensive and.. classy. Something the former captain had always been of course. Being older, the cyborg could appreciate that more.

Even if he could never be that for Valon.

"You look absolutely stunning, love. Is that the last one? You've made my wallet that much lighter today," he joked with a smile. "Pack up what you like."

Valon nodded. "I can't break Daddy Bram's bank, now can I?" He whispered leaning down next to Bram's ear. He gave the pirate captain a peck on the cheek earning him a whoop from a few customers that saw. Blushing he returned to the dressing room he undressed putting back on a pair of his new pants and a black tank top. The back of the shirt was high enough to hide his scars but still be comfortable.

Packing up the rest of the clothing he followed Bram to the check out. "Will you at least let me pay for half?"

"Hey, let me think about that," he replied," OH wait, the answer is no. Nice try love," he smiled at the cashier and payed for their items. Taking half of the bags, then handing Valon the others, he lead the way out of the store. The captain hadn't realized how long they'd been out, the sun was setting over the buildings as they finally made it to the inn.

Letting themselves in, Bram's heart thumped in his chest and he set the bags on the bed.

"So, what are you going to do with your new found fashion sense? I'm surprised you bought so many work clothes," he began laying out the clothes on the bed to be put away in the closet or transferred over to the ship. They still had a good few days on the planet.

"Oh, what the fuck is this doing in here?" he said, lifting the jacket Valon had been eying from the bottom of one of the bags. The cyborg grinned to himself, seeing as his back was to the larger man.

Valon followed silently behind, bags held tightly in his grip. The clothing was much too expensive...Bram didn't need to be spending that much on him. The man had a ship to run after all. He would just have to slip the money in Bram's pants or something. He enjoyed the sunset before slipping into the room after Bram.

He set aside a few pairs of pants and a few of his nicer shirts to wear around the planet. With a military precision he folded everything else to go back on the ship. He wasn't looking at Bram when the man swore. Turning around he saw Bram pull the very same coat he wanted out of the bottom of a bag

At first he was going to protest...but then he saw the happy look Bram's eyes and couldn't care to say anything. Tears came rushing to his eyes. "Thank you Bram." Valon pulled the pirate captain in for a deep kiss, holding the other man as close as possible.

Suddenly the pirate found himself pressed against the half-breed in a wonderful kiss - his hands still holding the jacket that was wedged between them. He melted in the embrace and returned the affection. It felt really good to give for once instead of take. Bram often gave, though he never realized it since the gift wasn't a material possession, but right now he felt confident he was doing the right thing.

Perhaps it was to make up for something else he'd done.. but the captain pushed the thought away quickly.

Parting with a laugh he shook his head," You act like you really wanted this jacket or something! Well, I suppose it's all yours then." He held it out so that Valon could put it on. The cyborg smoothed out the arms and shoulders for him with a smile. "Only the best for you. And don't try to pay me back. I write your paycheck after all, I'll just keep returning it."

"You look handsome," he added with a suggestive curl at the corner of his lips as he looked Valon up and down slowly.

Valon took in the suggestive manner. He should really thank Bram properly. The way he had been taught. He turned around slowly taking off the jacket and hanging it up. He seductively walked over to the other man, taking off his shirt as he went.

He was scared, but this was for Bram he had given him so much...saved he from such an assistance. The former captain pushed aside his feelings then led Bram to the bed. He laid back pulling the pirate captain on top of him. "I-I really should thank you properly."

The captain was excited by the new change of pace - soaking in every movement Valon made and happy to have himself lead along to the bed. Crawling on top of him, he kissed the man's neck and ran his human hand down his side. Took in his smell, which was wonderful.

But something nagged him in the back of his head. A scared feeling. Small and almost unnoticeable. It wasn't his own, this was his playing field and something he knew he was really good at.

I really should thank you properly.

Bram sat up immediately, straddling the larger man's hips with a surprised, almost disgusted expression on his face.

"Are.. are you trying to repay me with sex?! I bought you the jacket because you wanted it, not because I wanted to use you! If I wanted to do that I could have done it already! What kind of man do you think I am?!" his face become more hurt and he slipped to the side, on to the edge of the bed.

Valon leapt off the bed heading for the corner, curling up into a ball he started mumbling to himself. It had been an automatic behavior. Something that had been permanently ingrained in the half breed's mind.

He curled into a tighter and tighter ball, years of slavery had taught him to be small. He hadn't meant to upset Bram...

"I-I'm sorry...sorry."

Bram thought he had been quite understanding up until this point. Watching Valon scamper away, he looked on his disbelief and it only made him more angry for some reason. Standing up from the bed, he continued to raise his voice.

"And what, now you think I'm going to hit you?! I've never hit you! I've done nothing but comfort you and try to be understanding of what you went through! Do you even like me?! Or is all this affection just repaying me for everything!

A hot tear rolled down his face and he wiped it away. The thought that Valon had indeed been only doing this because he thought he was supposed to hurt immensely. It made him question if he was just being lead on and none of it was real. The fact that the former slave had been doing this was an excellent excuse for his already insecure thoughts to blossom out more. Everything had been going so well and.. And he thought the half breed actually wanted him.

But now he wasn't sure and he regretted letting himself open up to someone again. That didn't work for him. Why would anyone ever think he was special enough for that anyway.

Refusing to say anything else, the captain swept up into the bathroom and slammed the door. There was a bit of crashing and cussing from behind it once the lock clicked, but soon the water ran and it fell back to quiet.

Valon listened to the water rumble from the bathroom. He hated himself for doing this. Hated not being able to function. He needed to leave, Bram didn't need this. Uncurling from the ball, he moved quickly grabbing some clothes and his money.

Stopping at the door he turned and made his way over to the bathroom. He laid his head on the wood finger scratching gently. "I will always love you Bram. I'm sorry I'm not better." He pressed one final kiss to the wood before turning and leaving, the coat over his arm.
-------
The planet had gotten colder as the night rolled in. Valon had no idea where he was supposed to go. He huddled into the blue coat and walked till he found a bar.

After a hot shower, the cyborg had felt better. He had a little time to think for himself and cool down his fiery temper. Stepping out of the bathroom while rubbing a towel on the back of his neck he had expected Valon to be there so he could attempt to apologize for yelling. When he found the room empty and quiet, with some of the man's things gone, he'd stopped in his tracks.

Any sort of uplifting feeling he'd managed to get back into his body during the shower plummeted to the ground and into his stomach. His chest began to ache and he fought back tears.

Valon was gone. Had he been too harsh or.. No. It was because he hadn't really wanted him, of course. He'd been right. If Valon had just left temporarily he wouldn't have taken his clothes with him. Suddenly the cyborg began to feel very used and stupid. He knew all of it had been true. That's why he left the space station. Why had he been so stupid to not listen to his gut and just push the half breed at an arms length away?

With all the heartbreak aching his body he wanted to cry, but he stopped himself. He'd done enough crying already because of Valon. Instead he decided to order room service and a lot of wine.

---------

The bar was quite pleasant compared to most the crew visited. Unsurprisingly, a good amount of them were in it that night - drinking and playing a more advanced game of pool. A few watched sports from all across the universe on big screens and cheered for their home planet's team. Lei, Horris, and Boyd sat in the largest booth possible together laughing while the doctor went on with some wild tale, animated in all his movements. Lei was obviously drunk off her knockers.

If Valon wanted to run off, it definitely wasn't the bar to be at.

Slipping into the bar he kept his head low and made for a back booth. He stopped dead in his tracks when he heard Boyd's unmistakeable boom. Lei, Horris, Boyd and most of the crew including Mama were sitting at a group of tables. The large cook's had a pink tint to her cheeks and was smirking at the new doctor.

Valon pulled the lapels of his coat up and slunk off..."Valon! You better not be slinking away from be young man! I will tan your hide a shade darker than it already is young man!" Mama was standing up by the table hands on her hips. The revelry around the table had stopped, most of the crew looking at the half breed. He tried to give his best smile.

"I didn't realize everyone was here. I-I just came for a quite beer." He pulled coat tighter around himself. "I-I'll leave you guys to your stories..." The halfbreed shot off to the back of the bar without another word. Settling into a dark corner he order the cheapest beer and tried not to cry.

He was peeling the label off his third when he heard most of the crew start to leave. After a moment he noticed a shadow looming over him, looking up he saw Boyd looking concerned. "What happened?" The half breed shook his head and looked deeper into his beer.