I am a very down to earth person. My fiance is more flighty. That balanced has seved us well in the past. But as his college career ends and mine continues (I'm going into education which takes longer) he wants to move. I've tried many times to think of some kind of compromise... but he doesn't seem to be able to accept any of it.

Today he told me, and I quote this "Keep in mind, what I am, personally, is far reaching, exotic, and exciting. There is no halfway committing to that, which is probably a large part of the anguish. Frankly, you picked the only person who went to NEHS [our highschool] that requires not staying in a small little town. The fact is that I am a leave and see the world person, the kind who never returns (to what you consider) home. Once you begin the trip to the stars, there no guarantee of a return to Earth. You should think if you really want that. There's still time to decide."

I just want a new perspective. I don't really have anyone who I think can help at this point. I don't want to admit to friends and family that this is a problem. The problem is that the few i mentioned this problem to sided with me. I don't think that is fair. So I need some imput. Thank you.

I'm sorry to hear that you're having this problem. I'm also an incredibly flighty person so I can see where your boyfriend is coming from. If you're the sort of person that likes what they know, that likes to stick to home and wants to grow old there, then I'm afraid I don't see much of a future for you two. He isn't going to want to be tied down and I can understand that.

However, if you're not even finished college yet I think that he is being rather unfair to make you choose between him and finishing your education. If he isn't willing to wait while you finish your degree you deserve someone better.

I'd recommend that you have a long thing about what you want out of life. If what you want isn't the same as what he wants, then you might be best going your separate ways.

Hope this works out for you, doll

Travelling is great. Seeing the world and expanding your perspective is great and I'd even go so far as to say important to a well lived life. Your fiance has every right to those things and those wants, but what he doesn't have a right to is uprooting you in the middle of college. Your degree is ten thousand times more important than his wanderlust, and he needs to understand that.

What he said makes him sound like a jackass honestly. I'm sure he's not, and I'm inclined to say he was just having a bad day or is going through a phase, but if he's not you either need to talk some sense into him or leave him. What's he going to do when you have children (if you want them)? OH, I know we've moved ten times already, but I'm a free soul. If we don't take the family to India now we're getting a divorce. Yeah, that's an extreme example, but whether or not he's a free soul, he's going to have to realize that he's either going to have to settle down a little bit, or live life relatively alone.

Thanks ElysiumFate and Vinyl. You gave me two different perspectives and that helps a lot. I think the best course of action is to wait and see. I think his main problem is that he has a heliocopter mother that he is trying to escape. And he does sound like a jackass sometimes, but I do as well... I will just have to think about this this summer. I am concerned that he doesn't want to settle down, but we are still young. Thanks for the advice.

You're welcome tane. I agree that you should give it some time, and a helicopter mother/annoying family members in general can make you want to just run a thousand miles away from them. All the same, he needs to accept that you're in school and that's not an option till you finish. If that does turn out to be his major problem, tell him that you guys can move somewhere far away when you finish college and as long as you can both find jobs there. I mean, if you're willing to do that.

From what he said it really just sounds like he's possibly afraid of settling down...
...maybe afraid of settling down and getting.... "stuck" in a small town.

Do some self-reflection.

I think he's doing the right thing. He knows what he wants from his life as his own individual. And he doesn't want to give that up for the sake of a relationship. That's commendable. I don't think his life goals should be dismissed as "running away" or being immature. This is what he wants from his life- It deserves the same amount of respect and consideration as your life goal of settling down. If you two are unable to find a way to reconcile your very different futures, then I feel that at least one of you will always feel that you have given up a life you wanted to lead.

But in the short-term, I think that he is being inconsiderate. College is already expensive. And he wants to move? That would require money for the move and money for changing colleges. And that's just unreasonable.