Ah "boys will be boys" well sure they'll potentially be a little different because of horomones... but it's the parent's fault if they don't supply an outlet for that.

Not really, though. Before puberty, kids have mostly the same body chemistry regardless of sex. Furthermore, testosterone as this super aggression excuse has been pretty well debunked (as has the idea that emotional issues with one's period are caused by hormones - it's less to do with that and more to do with the fact that one is bleeding profusely out of their nether regions and probably in excruciating pain from it and being told to suck it up because it's no big deal).

Early studies that suggested that link were mostly done with the intention of "proving" that/explaining why men are "more driven" and thus better suited for running the world. Ones that have been done with less bias have shown no conclusive link. It's definitely linked in a partial way to sex drive and energy levels - but...so is estrogen, so out goes that.

Our plan is to do the nails in the fence exercise with our kids to teach them why it's a bad idea to take out frustration on others. And if it gets bad enough that they really can't help it we're going to try and get to the bottom of why before punishing them for how they acted on it, and focus punishments on righting things rather than making them feel bad.

Well when I say boys I mean that a lot of them don't stop being boys long after they're supposed to grow up.
Ah yes I have always understood that severe cramping and intense bleeding pain is one of those things that can make someone strangle you if you're rude... similar reason why it's bad to be rude to a pregnant woman who barely gets any sleep and is in pain constantly.
Though with pregnancy I'm told hormones do effect a few things here and there.

Honestly I don't think anyone is suited for running the world no matter their gender... men have proven to fail at it for generations and I don't think women will do any better...

Very good idea. I always hated when parents would discipline their kids and then never find out that the reason they acted out was because of them treating them bad to begin with...

The world needs to have more of a shared leadership team structure rather than a traditional top-down one. Definitely keep some traditional structures in place (we do need a firmly structured legal system to keep predatory business models down and enforce non-discrimination and anti-violence laws), but a lot of things need to be left to individuals. We need more laws protecting people from each other and fewer "protecting them from themselves".

When you let a handful of stuffed shirts run everything, everyone loses...but the politicians.

And yeah, that's a problem I see with parents too often too. In society as a whole. It's abuse of power is what it is. You can't assume that just because you're in a position of authority over someone you can do whatever you want to them and they'll still respect you. If you want to be a respectable authority figure you have to DO YOUR JOB and TEACH the rules before you enforce them. Otherwise you're just a jerk with a title.

Protecting people from themselves is really stupid. I mean let nature take it's course if someone wants to be a total idiot...

So true... I grew up with that "I'm the boss" attitude and I must say when I see how my niece reacts to it when my brother does it, as compared to my method she's far more obedient.
First of all, I play with her at her level. A parent who wants to just boss their kid around and stick them in front of a TV all day is gonna have a bad time. Though on the other side I've seen parents force their kid off the TV right as their favorite show is coming on. That's not cool... especially when it's the one they learn the best from.

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Do you feel that your identity is connected to your gender?
Do you feel gender plays a large part in constructing most people's self identities?
Do you feel that alternative gendered people are more sensitive about gender when it comes to determining their self identity?
Which comes first: Gender or Identity?
Does language have a hand in altering gender driven identity? (For instance, in Polish there is a word for 'gender' but no word for 'sex' in the sense of male/female.)
What does it mean to not have a gender and does having no gender alter or influence self identity?

I can be very femmy and my parts are all VERY femmy and to hard to hide but personally i still feel as if I am "genderless" my parts don't define the way I think PERSAY but it's all very much a philosophical state, I embrace my femininity wholeheartedly
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To some, depends on the individual
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I don't think "sensitive" is so much the word as much as "aware" someone who has never felt the need to question their gender isn't going to go through the research or spend the time thinking about it. Some may DEVELOP a sensitivity depending on their confidence or experiences.
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Identity!
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I feel like I am not worldly enough in other languages to really answer this question properly
<---- stupid white american sadly XP
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I personally don't really "SEE" gender I guess is a way you could put it, much in the way I don't really "see" race, age, monetary background. To me it's like here, I have no idea if your girl/boy/something else, old/young, where you are what you look like, all I have to go off of it what you say and your avi's style. What you CHOOSE to express yourself as. That's far more accurate than any physical base judgment. So I guess you could say I just don't really "pay attention" or "acknowledge" gender and that's why on a philosophical level I say I am genderless, but I do looking like a pretty girl even though I hardly behave as one XP

1. Do you feel that your identity is connected to your gender?
2. Do you feel gender plays a large part in constructing most people's self identities?
3. Do you feel that alternative gendered people are more sensitive about gender when it comes to determining their self identity?
4. Which comes first: Gender or Identity?
5. Does language have a hand in altering gender driven identity? (For instance, in Polish there is a word for 'gender' but no word for 'sex' in the sense of male/female.)
6. What does it mean to not have a gender and does having no gender alter or influence self identity?

AnswersX

1. Uh, no. Until fourth or third grade, I didn't care about any philosophical enlightenment on what my gender as a female is supposed to develop into. I'm a girl but I was raised as a tomboy by my step father. But yet, I never felt confused or considered being masculine. I'm short & small, I have zero masculinity skills accounted for. I don't see how the two can be separated so easily? I'm just me.

Once a male substitute teacher in my geography class back in 8th grade asked me if I was born in another country or another race, would I still be me? And I said of course. I thought it was absolutely a ridiculous question. I wholeheartedly believe that I'd still be me but in a different setting. Although, the teacher said it in a condescending way while asking me that question that I wanted to jam his Adams apple down his throat. But I digress.

2. Yes. Biologically speaking, everyone starts out as girls. Some babies may get more estrogen, others may get more testosterone. Their genetic make-up does affect their hormones, it happens. To simply say hormones cannot affect how you turn out is a bit naive. A hormone imbalance can throw your system all out of whack.

Recent studies have found that baby bottles or other things that your children drink out of that aren't BPA free, do cause biological defects and can disrupt the child's hormones and cause homosexuality in babies. I don't know what study it was but it's why you always go BPA free. Whether it goes on to further degrade the development of the baby other than it shrinking a baby boys penis, I'm not sure. I haven't exclusively read up on it.

Regarding parents, when they find out they are having a baby girl: Guess what's their first toy? A baby. Girls are forced into growing up by taking care of a baby when they themselves are babies. They are even taught housework and homemaking. Now, for boys, when parents find out they are having a boy, they receive toy-trucks, racing cars, teddy bears or John deer things. That is, if those parents follow traditional roles of girl/boys, though.

3. I believe anyone that falls into the category of homosexuality will always be sensitive about their orientation and their identity. Most are always on the offensive. Some aren't. Others are weird about it. Some are easy-going. It's just the same as straight people. I don't find anything different about it. Everyone's sensitive about their appearance and how others define them.

Do I identify homosexuals by their given genders although they classify themselves as the opposite of what they are? Of course. But I easily observe people who are in the mixed orientation categories. The way they walk and speak are entirely different from heterosexual people. At least, that's how it is to me. They can wear regular clothes, receive gender changes or act absolutely normal but there is a difference about their person. You know that saying: You can look like a duck, you can quack like a duck but that doesn't mean you're a duck. It's kind of like that.

Do I naively think that just because a guy considers himself as a female that I would prance around in my underwear or kiss him incessantly? I believe in traditionalism. I don't care if the guy is 50% female, I would not have sleep overs and/or sleep in the same room as him or get undressed or naked in front of him. I don't believe in crossing the boundaries of treating him like a girl like girls would because it's uncomfortable. Regarding that, I do classify the person within their given actual gender other than what they believe themselves to be. Same goes with girls who are homosexual and classified as lesbians. I don't get undressed/dressed in front of anybody, even during P.E. I left my clothes on while I rushed my gym clothes on because I'm sensitive about my own body.

Regarding speech, Homosexuals are sensitive on what they are called. You can't say "that's so gay!" anymore without being offensive. Others get bristly at the words queer - fag (although, it used to be a term for happy/strange - cigarettes - so, basically you're calling the person a happy/strange cigarette). I've never used those words other than the "that's so gay!" which wasn't directed at anyone, it was just an expression.

But I can understand that those words are insulting and don't agree with them either. Some homosexual boys that I have listened to don't like being treated as girls by girls most of the time. They especially don't like to be referred as their "gay boyfriend." It actually pisses them off to no end. Some of them like acting like girls but yet, they like to keep their masculinity to some degree. But there's all kinds, so it gets confusing.

Then again, heterosexual people are just as sensitive because with the new orientations and expected behaviors, it makes you question if it's better off to be a boy or a girl. Speaking from experience, I find it offensive and absolutely ridiculous to classify a girl as a lesbian based on the length of her hair. Especially if a girl tends to have more girlfriends than guy friends. The diversity between gender roles causes barriers. There may be some people who don't, though. But a straight guy doesn't like being called gay.

Yet, they accuse girls of being lesbians and dykes without any actual evidence. And it's infinitely offensive to call a girl a "fag hag" just because she's friends with a homosexual boy. I don't find that term endearing (I don't have gay friends myself, though). I can't imagine they like it either. It's just like when people call you a "ma'am" and some women definitely hate being called that. So, the road goes four ways on that one.

But you know, I didn't think anything of homosexuality during Middle school. I never heard it come up. But I know it's been around for centuries and European countries have been all for it since Kings/Queens era.

4. Being alive is what comes first for me. I can't speak for other people.

5. I'm a bit confused on the language part. Language as in what? Offensive derogatory terms used against females/males?

6. Meaning that you never thought about your gender and you do both girl and boy activities, such as: climbing a tree? If certain individuals would refrain from bashing either gender of a child, then there wouldn't be any problems.

Growing up, after boys have learned about our reproductive systems (when they started giving mixed health classes by the start of the 6th grade)--were immature and* made fun of the female reproductive system. Personally, it made me feel embarrassed and ashamed of being a girl. On the other hand, it pissed me off. For the most part,it's hard to deal with just having an acceptable appearance regarding your gender. Boys in the schools that I've went to always had to put their two-cents in about those things. Then again, some girls also acted immature* about it too because they didn't want to hear about other girls having menstrual periods.

Whether or not you believe you don't classify yourself into a gender or you have a alter gender--other kids will pretty much knock you back to Earth and slap it in your face. Not that I ever wanted to be a boy but I never thought being a tomboy automatically made you a lesbian (I'm straight and purely monogamous). Especially if you are a girl and you like short haircuts, you'll automatically be classified as a lesbian or a dyke. If guys have short hair, nothing comes up about that because it's seen as normal.

Clothes-wise, regarding boys wearing pink, it was never a gay thing in my schools. All the preps and jocks persistently wore gawd awful pastel colors. In Middle School, an elder male English teacher actually made Fridays "Pink day!" and said that: "Real men wear pink!"

So in my school experience, it was never an issue for boys to wear pink/pastel. Even during powder puff (is it called powder puff?) for sports rallies, the guys would dress-up as girls. All the guys always joked around and dressed up as girls and mocked females persistently. No one ever called them gay and I don't think they ever questioned being a girl. Although, they would dry hump each other for a big laugh. If any of them were homosexual, it was hard to tell.

Anyway, I believe even if you escape your gender identity either mentally or physically, you can't really run away from the constraints and pressures put on you either by your parents, teachers, other kids and etc. Unless they are accepting but that's rare you can get everyone to agree with people who identify themselves as the opposite gender that they were born as. Your experience is always based on what type of environment you're in. Human emotion is the very key ingredient to self-doubt, self-confusion, self-loathing, etc.

But once you grow up, I guess finding your identity is a lot easier. You don't have thousands of kids to disagree with you or teachers abusing their authority and correcting you. You can change your gender without anyone's consent, which is what a lot of people have been doing since they want to be physically altered to match their sense of gender they feel they are. I, myself, don't care what others do to satisfy themselves as long as it doesn't affect my life.

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I may have talked too much. I'm not against homosexuality or anything. I thought it ties with Gender Identity discussion. Especially since there are thousands of offensive terms kids/adults use against each other. Everything that I've mentioned can make you confused. It will tear at your own personal preference of yourself. It heavily affects how you define what gender you are or what gender you wish to be or if you start thinking you really want to be a boy/girl instead of a girl/boy because of all of the bullying and feeling ashamed of being a boy/girl. Or if you really want to be a boy/girl, you can be a boy/girl. That and biological means does add to self identity crisis's. Some people just know that they were born in the wrong gender and need to create an alter-gender for themselves.

And what I meant by the duck thing is that I can feel that their essence was once a different gender and/or identity than what individuals with no gender and/or identity crisis's handle themselves. I can't really explain it, it's like one of those sixth sense things. Regarding the P.E. thing, I mentioned the girl side of homosexuality because they are people too but I was referring that I'm sensitive about my body regardless if there were any girls of alternative gender and/or identity within the GYM changing room. The reason for that is because girls are just as cruel as boys when they make fun of somebodies body. Just like heterosexual boys attack girls for not properly dressing as a girl.

I quoted my words because I think I went over a tad*

Do you feel that your identity is connected to your gender?
Yea, I know who I am in gender. But my identity defines me uniquely from other people :)

Do you feel gender plays a large part in constructing most people's self identities?
I probably don't think of it that way. Lets say that I wanted to be another gender, but deep down I knew that I cannot do what other gender would do. For instance, physical ability, mental psyche etc. So wishing on identity that I want, I knew deep down that I cannot do what it requires to be in that gender.

Do you feel that alternative gendered people are more sensitive about gender when it comes to determining their self identity?
It probably is because they are more strongly on the gender they felt that talking about it would be both uncomfortable yet structured discussion about their own identity.

Which comes first: Gender or Identity?
Trick question (its like chicken or the egg), I would say both. They are probably in synchronising process.

Does language have a hand in altering gender driven identity? (For instance, in Polish there is a word for 'gender' but no word for 'sex' in the sense of male/female.)
If you meant by culture, yes it definitely has to do with gender driven identity. eg: Japanese culture, British culture, Other Asian culture

What does it mean to not have a gender and does having no gender alter or influence self identity?
I've never been felt like having no gender alter feeling nor unidentified in either gender feeling before. So I probably can't answer this question correctly.

Do you feel that your identity is connected to your gender?

I absolutely do. When people ask me to define who I am, the thought starts with, "I am a young woman who.." and proceeds on from there. My rooting foundation for defining myself is based on my gender. I have preferences for things that I know are socially considered feminine and I am ok with that. Do I like everything that comes with gender identities? No, but I can see that both sides (male and female) have their advantages and disadvantages. In a way I think I probably push myself more because I know things like that glass ceiling effect are very real things out there. So it has shaped me in ways that I can't even fathom. I also have had other things happen in my life that really play on how I feel about my gender identity. I've had multiple miscarriages. To the point where doctors have advised me not to try anymore. The point of that isn't the sob story its that I felt like less of a woman. An incomplete woman and it really had me thinking, why do I care so much? Why is this making me feel so depressed and incomplete? And I think it is because childbearing is so ingrained in gender identities. Biologically it is the ultimate thing a woman can do that a man cannot do. From before I was even born I was bought dolls, playhouses, and things that show me, "this is your purpose. You go out there, earn a living because times have changed (and relying on someone else for financial support is stupid), make time to cook and clean, and have the babies." So not being able to do this very important part of that made me question all of my likes and dislikes. I questioned odd things like, do I really dislike cars? The answer was no. I was honestly quite curious about how they work, how to fix them, the different makes and models, and stats for cars. So, I'm now an avid Top Gear watcher who has built plastic engines and someday hopes to build the real thing at a trade school just for the fun of it.

Do you feel gender plays a large part in constructing most people's self identities?

I think it does since gender is so social. As a woman, I can go to another social group and be regarded as a servant who has to wait out her period in a hut. Likewise, in a different social group I could be the matriarch. You are treated differently when you are biologically male or female and what society expects from you just because of biology is also vastly different. Growing up surrounded in that, of course it changes your identity. Identity also goes both ways. Yes, society as a whole constructs the categories, but the individual chooses where they fit.

Do you feel that alternative gendered people are more sensitive about gender when it comes to determining their self identity?

I wouldn't say they are more sensitive but I think they are more aware of gender. I think that a transgendered male to woman might look at a parent taking a son's doll away as more of a travesty than a person that hasn't come from that experience. There's also a different side to this that no one but an alternatively gendered person can understand. Alternatively gendered people have to fight to fit into a category of male or female and they've grown up knowing that something just didn't feel right to them. Fighting to belong is something I will never be able to understand but I have seen documentaries where transgendered individuals focus on doing things, even speaking, in ways to be perceived as either male or female. But as far as being sensitive, no. I think that transgendered or alternatively gendered people are really brave. They have decided that they are who they are and they know who they are and they've chosen where they fit. I think for them it is a question of passing and not "well, I can't like cars because girls aren't supposed to like cars," or anything of that sort. I think at that point, after having broke the bonds of your gender so thoroughly, a person has decided for themselves not to let the categories society has prevent them from being who they are and expressing themselves.

Which comes first: Gender or Identity?

Chicken or the egg type question but I'm going to go with gender. Because biologically you are male or you are female before you are even born and it (typically) is only after your determining sex organs have formed that your parents have the slightest clue what gender you are. But.. gender training does start early. The second parents know its a girl, its all pinks and pastels. Primary bold colors for boys and I wouldn't say that that is a bad thing. I think the world should be more fair as far as successes men and women can achieve but I see no real value in trying to abolish masculine and feminine training. I mean, it comes back to that whole biology thing. Society goes on only if women still have the babies. Women hold a lot of power in being limiters that way. So I think it is a good thing girls get dolls and training for something they have a high probability of experiencing in their life. But, I would have liked to have gone on some fishing trips and learned about cars too! In that respect I am all for purposely blurring lines and fully intend to do it whenever I do have kids or adopt.

Does language have a hand in altering gender driven identity? (For instance, in Polish there is a word for 'gender' but no word for 'sex' in the sense of male/female.)
What does it mean to not have a gender and does having no gender alter or influence self identity?

This one I can't really speculate on. I have no idea what it would be like to have "no gender." I question wether a person truly can have no gender. Biologically it either has a penis or it has a vagina or it has a group of people trying to assign it the category of penis or vagina. I feel like the way the human mind works, a category is made for those two differences and regardless of having a word for it or not, the human mind will make a distinction. I'd love to hear from a polish person on this one. But my guess is that, despite the existence of the word, there are still things that polish society deems more ideal for a man or woman. I have no doubt though that language does play a huge role. Take racism. In countries like Brazil, there are so many words to describe skin tone. So many that race becomes a non issue. Verses what I am used to where there are really only two categories, white, and black and blackness does not mean african. it essentially means not white. And having so few categories causes so much drama. If those were to disappear and people could just be people instead of having that identifier, who knows what could happen. I imagine the same would hold true for gender as well.

-Do you feel that your identity is connected to your gender? Do you feel gender plays a large part in constructing most people's self identities? (2 for 1)
Absolutely. Usually this is the case moreso than the individual person appreciates. The gender assigned to you by society will influence the way you experience the world, or are allowed to experience the world, and this undoubtedly helps form at least part of your identity as a human being in the world. That's at least partly why the majority of people are so insistent that they be seen as the "proper" gender that they identify with. It's not just about feeling comfortable with yourself, it's about feeling comfortable with how others see you and treat you.

-Do you feel that alternative gendered people are more sensitive about gender when it comes to determining their self identity?
Probably not. I think that trans people are sensitive about the fact that most other people are misidentifying them. E.g., perhaps being called male isn't so much of a problem as NOT being called female. One need not feel a strong sense of gender identity without being bothered by being misidentified. It's a lot like saying, "I don't strongly feel male, but I'm definitely NOT female, so don't put me in that category," or whatever the case may be. I think any perception that trans people feel very strongly about their gender identity has more to do with that than with the idea that they just inexplicably feel that gender identity is important to them more than it is to others.

-Which comes first: Gender or Identity?
I'm never a fan of questions of ontological priority because they are usually just rhetorical questions, but I'll indulge. I think we can agree that typically people are assigned a gender well before they develop any sentience and self-awareness. The problem lies in whether or not the gender fits the identity you wish to develop. If you're four years old and you realize that being called a boy is not suitable to you, then it implies that your gender was assigned to you before you had the ability to cultivate your own sense of identity, including the gender with which you identified yourself. You tend to develop your identity over time and you may be distressed to find that your gender assignment isn't compatible with your identity, in which case you would presumably decide to identity yourself with a more appropriate gender label.

-Does language have a hand in altering gender driven identity? (For instance, in Polish there is a word for 'gender' but no word for 'sex' in the sense of male/female.)
I can't really say how much language influences worldview, or the view of oneself, other than the fact that we tend to internalize things said about us, which may include which gender we're told that we are "supposed" to be. In the case of how different languages affect this, there are some languages that don't have gendered pronouns and yet all of those cultures still have a social conception of gender of individuals (as men, women, or something outside that binary). I think language has a minor effect on conceptions of gender compared to other traits, mostly anatomy, appearance, role enactment, behaviorisms, etc.

-What does it mean to not have a gender and does having no gender alter or influence self identity?
I wouldn't know because I have a gendered identity myself. I've always thought that the majority of people who say they have no gender either do not strongly identity with either (or identify with both somewhat equally) or are intentionally subverting conceptions of gender in their culture, though I'm sure there could be plenty of other reasons. Again, these people presumably were given a gender identity, so they've already had some manner of influence on how they were raised and told to behave and fulfill roles by the society in which they developed. If someone decides to say that they "have no gender" then I would assume that this is a conclusion they came to in spite of the gender assignment given them, not because of it.

Before closing I'd just like to add that I think you're conflating the ideas of gender identity with the concept of identity itself. Gender is an aspect of one's identity, but you almost seem to imply with these questions that identity is an aspect of one's gender. I agree with the latter insofar as a person's assigned gender can set them on course to have very specific influences in their lives that can shape their greater identity because we tell boys to be one way sometimes and girls to be another and many will fall into the roles assigned to them. However, I think gender is as much a part of one's identity that we cultivate as much as we might cultivate the identity of being American, or a Red Sox fan, or a golf enthusiast.