My father disowned me. Told me I was the biggest disappointment in his life. Also been told that he wished I'd never been born.
I've been on my own since I was 15.

That's so sad, Cora!

Actually, when I was a junior in high school, the band teacher told my parents that I was pretty good, but would never get better without a better clarinet.
He thought I should go to band camp in the summer, but they needed to get me a better clarinet.

So they actually bought me a brand new one!
I was so shocked.

Originally Posted by Cora

My father disowned me. Told me I was the biggest disappointment in his life. Also been told that he wished I'd never been born.
I've been on my own since I was 15.

That was basically my dad - when he and my mom divorced, he said he wanted NOTHING to do with me or my brothers. He wouldn't pay child support, no medical bills, and said, "I won't pay ONE CENT towards their college education!!!!"

THEN...when my mom would bring him to court for not paying child support, he would go, "Well she never lets me see my kids!" so we'd have to go to visit him because the court said so. We would spend the day on the floor in his living room watching him sleep on the couch. He wouldn't let us in any room by the living room and the kitchen. We weren't allowed to watch the TV. And all he had to eat was a jar of nuts, hot pockets, and poweraid. We had to spend saturdays 9-5 with him for a couple weeks until he got bored, gave up, and then refused to see us until the next time my mom took him to court to get the child support.

Later in life, he contacted both my brothers. He sent them brithday cards, called them, and even let one of my brothers come stay with him for a while when he was 19. But he has NEVER ONCE tried to talk to me. NOTHING. >.<

Luckily though, and this is where you and I differ. I had my mom who worked her BUTT off. She wanted to make sure we stayed in the same area to finish school with our friends even though it meant higher housing costs and insurance (since we were on an island). She let us choose one thing she would pay for - for me it was voice lessons.

She met my stepdad when I was in 9th grade. When my dad refused to pay child support and my mom didn't know how she was going to pay for things...my stepdad (her boyfriend at the time) would give her his entire pay check and said, "I can get food at the restaurant I manage. Your kids need to eat."

My stepdad has been incredibly supportive of my endeavors to be a music teacher as well and always talks about his one and only daughter who is getting her masters and working full time as a music teacher to his customers.

So really, I'm blessed despite the fact my father was a dick.

I'm sorry that he disowned you >.> But I feel like you are so strong and that's probably why!

Well thats cool Jeanie ^.^

Did you get better with it?

Originally Posted by Jeannesha

That's so sad, Cora!

Actually, when I was a junior in high school, the band teacher told my parents that I was pretty good, but would never get better without a better clarinet.
He thought I should go to band camp in the summer, but they needed to get me a better clarinet.

So they actually bought me a brand new one!
I was so shocked.

Aww! That's great!!! I love when teachers take the initiative to talk to parents and encourage them to encourage their kids in a certain direction! And the fact that your parents supported it is so great!

Now I'm all depressed... :C

Originally Posted by Demoscout

Now I'm all depressed... :C

*pokes Demo's face*
NO DEPRESSION!
<3

The only thing that can fix this depression is cupcakes. :3

@Maria- Sorry I missed your earlier post.

A lot of people, when I tell them the things that my father used to do to me. Just me, not my twin brother, not my older or younger sister, just me. They feel sad for me. There is also the fact that I grew up with a father who was good at business. My father was worth a lot of money. You are lucky your mother chose you. When dad disowned me, mom wouldn't leave him. I guess however in the way you had your mother, I had my brother and sisters. They where the ones who protected me when things where really bad, and when I was disowned....my brother and older sister refused to speak to my father anymore. I lived for a short time with my twin until I got on my feet and that was that.

But money does things to people, I don't mind living a small life in a small town. Earning paycheck to paycheck. Thats not a problem for me.

I have since made up with my mother, but to this day I refuse to see the man who is my father....despite my mothers attempts to get us together.

I think I did get better.

I was 1st chair 2nd in band camp...it was a blast.

But when I started college, I fully intended to take band to keep it up, but then I found out that you only got 1 credit for band, and you had to go for an hour every day.

It was just too much time. I had to quit.

... aww... sad stories of daddy.
*hugs own daddy*

However, I am extremely happy you had your mother. Your father sounds terrible.

---------- Post added 07-07-2013 at 05:05 PM ----------

1 credit for half hour every day!?

Originally Posted by Demoscout

The only thing that can fix this depression is cupcakes. :3

CUPCAKES!! I make good cupcakes :D

Originally Posted by Cora

@Maria- Sorry I missed your earlier post.

A lot of people, when I tell them the things that my father used to do to me. Just me, not my twin brother, not my older or younger sister, just me. They feel sad for me. There is also the fact that I grew up with a father who was good at business. My father was worth a lot of money. You are lucky your mother chose you. When dad disowned me, mom wouldn't leave him. I guess however in the way you had your mother, I had my brother and sisters. They where the ones who protected me when things where really bad, and when I was disowned....my brother and older sister refused to speak to my father anymore. I lived for a short time with my twin until I got on my feet and that was that.

But money does things to people, I don't mind living a small life in a small town. Earning paycheck to paycheck. Thats not a problem for me.

I have since made up with my mother, but to this day I refuse to see the man who is my father....despite my mothers attempts to get us together.

I wouldn't speak to him either if I were you. I refuse to speak to mine - if he ever tried to (so far he hasn't).

But at least your siblings were there to help you! That's great!!

Originally Posted by Jeannesha

I think I did get better.

I was 1st chair 2nd in band camp...it was a blast.

But when I started college, I fully intended to take band to keep it up, but then I found out that you only got 1 credit for band, and you had to go for an hour every day.

It was just too much time. I had to quit.

That's basically all music classes unfortunately >.< I ended up with over 160 credits when I graduated and those were just the classes I HAD to take in order to graduate. A normal degree is 130 or so.

Originally Posted by xuvrette

... aww... sad stories of daddy.
*hugs own daddy*

I love my stepdad though - he's incredibly supportive at least!!

Originally Posted by Cora

However, I am extremely happy you had your mother. Your father sounds terrible.

---------- Post added 07-07-2013 at 05:05 PM ----------

1 credit for half hour every day!?

My father was an ass. But my mom and now my stepdad really love and support me and I couldn't ask for better parents!! Unfortunately my two brothers followed in my dad's footsteps and I haven't talked to either in a few years at least >.<

Oh geez. clearly this is one of the threads i need to leave open. its moving so fast.

Originally Posted by Shadami

Oh geez. clearly this is one of the threads i need to leave open. its moving so fast.

haha sorry Sha D: XD <3333

I love my dad, but he's a selfish man who puts himself first above others. My mom and dad divorced when I was about 5. I was "daddy's girl" because when we'd have visits he would always do fun things and never give me any responsibilities. It was a good way to mask what went on between him and my mom. My mom would get so upset when I'd talk so highly of, or defend, my dad and I never understood why until I got older. I remember instances where he'd make me cry when I took too long to get my things packed to go to his place and he'd take off to get ice cream for himself and none for me. He would somehow convince me that it was my fault, so I would eventually get over it and have a merry old time at his place.

When I wised up to the man he really was I still loved him, but I also grew to despise him a little. He never called me all that often (sometimes did, but not much really) so I didn't call him either. He would call me out of the blue and give me the whole "Now she talks to me" guilt trip yet trying to make it seem like he's kidding.

Nowadays he's trying to turn his life around by being involved with his church. I give him credit for trying to better himself, but now he's engaged to a woman he's been seeing for a while (he has a bad streak with relationships by the way) and I notice the way he acts with her young daughter. In the past my dad used to tell me how I was the "best daughter in the world" and give small minor ego boosts. When I'd drag out old photos we'd talk about the past. Now he just brushes it off to act like his fiance's daughter is his own. She crawls up on his lap and hugs him and he actually acts like a father with her. I have nothing against the girl, really, but seeing stuff like that makes me a little jealous that I never truly had that with my dad. When I was young I thought everything was peachy, but really we never had a healthy relationship and now he decides to start over with this little girl. It just kills me inside sometimes.

I'm not trying to measure up my story to yours, what happened to you guys was terrible, but it made me think about my own dad.

My father disowned me, too, and I haven't spoken with him in five years. My step-dad and I never got along until recently, and I've been with him for 16 years.

Originally Posted by Demoscout

I love my dad, but he's a selfish man who puts himself first above others. My mom and dad divorced when I was about 5. I was "daddy's girl" because when we'd have visits he would always do fun things and never give me any responsibilities. It was a good way to mask what went on between him and my mom. My mom would get so upset when I'd talk so highly of, or defend, my dad and I never understood why until I got older. I remember instances where he'd make me cry when I took too long to get my things packed to go to his place and he'd take off to get ice cream for himself and none for me. He would somehow convince me that it was my fault, so I would eventually get over it and have a merry old time at his place.

When I wised up to the man he really was I still loved him, but I also grew to despise him a little. He never called me all that often (sometimes did, but not much really) so I didn't call him either. He would call me out of the blue and give me the whole "Now she talks to me" guilt trip yet trying to make it seem like he's kidding.

Nowadays he's trying to turn his life around by being involved with his church. I give him credit for trying to better himself, but now he's engaged to a woman he's been seeing for a while (he has a bad streak with relationships by the way) and I notice the way he acts with her young daughter. In the past my dad used to tell me how I was the "best daughter in the world" and give small minor ego boosts. When I'd drag out old photos we'd talk about the past. Now he just brushes it off to act like his fiance's daughter is his own. She crawls up on his lap and hugs him and he actually acts like a father with her. I have nothing against the girl, really, but seeing stuff like that makes me a little jealous that I never truly had that with my dad. When I was young I thought everything was peachy, but really we never had a healthy relationship and now he decides to start over with this little girl. It just kills me inside sometimes.

I'm not trying to measure up my story to yours, what happened to you guys was terrible, but it made me think about my own dad.

It seems we all had dad problems >.<

I feel like your dad thinks he screwed up with you so badly he can't fix that so he'll just try fresh with the new girl. Which is unfortunate. You want him to fix the relationship and he doesn't seem to be going in that direction.

Maybe with some time, he'll start to reach out to you more. As he becomes used to knowing how to act like a dad with the new girl, he might know how to act with you? *tries to look at the bright side*

It was a lot of verbal and emotional abuse he put you through it seems. It's like my dad - would always say things in a twisted way. Tell me I wasn't good enough...make things into my fault when they weren't. And that pain hurts. It's hard to forgive and forget that.

But I hope that you and your mom are close at least so you have that as support!

My (sorta?) stepdad (mom and him divorced) used to be a drunk and an abusive guy towards my mom when he was drunk, but after he sobered up he at least instilled some values in me even if I thought it was too harsh at the time. By nature...he's an asshole, but he's been more of a father to me than my own father was. Go figure. xD

Originally Posted by solaria92

My father disowned me, too, and I haven't spoken with him in five years. My step-dad and I never got along until recently, and I've been with him for 16 years.

Oh gosh - we all really DO have father issues O.O

I'm sorry that you haven't gotten along with your stepdad until now - but at least you are getting along better now! Why the change after 16 years?

---------- Post added 07-07-2013 at 04:26 PM ----------

Originally Posted by Demoscout

My (sorta?) stepdad (mom and him divorced) used to be a drunk and an abusive guy towards my mom when he was drunk, but after he sobered up he at least instilled some values in me even if I thought it was too harsh at the time. By nature...he's an asshole, but he's been more of a father to me than my own father was. Go figure. xD

Oh gosh - I've never had to deal with drunk. I don't like people who are drunk - luckily my parents never did that. Drunk people scare me because they are so unpredictable!

Originally Posted by Maria-Minamino

haha sorry Sha D: XD <3333

or i just give up on it for a little bit who knows. haha

... so... dramatic. *sighs*

Demomo. *hugs*

Originally Posted by Shadami

or i just give up on it for a little bit who knows. haha

NOOO no giving uppp! XD

i... hmm. can not really join in this conversation. My dad and i have arguments sure. but i love my dad.

Originally Posted by Maria-Minamino

It seems we all had dad problems >.<

I feel like your dad thinks he screwed up with you so badly he can't fix that so he'll just try fresh with the new girl. Which is unfortunate. You want him to fix the relationship and he doesn't seem to be going in that direction.

Maybe with some time, he'll start to reach out to you more. As he becomes used to knowing how to act like a dad with the new girl, he might know how to act with you? *tries to look at the bright side*

It was a lot of verbal and emotional abuse he put you through it seems. It's like my dad - would always say things in a twisted way. Tell me I wasn't good enough...make things into my fault when they weren't. And that pain hurts. It's hard to forgive and forget that.

But I hope that you and your mom are close at least so you have that as support!

Yeah they used to invite me and my boyfriend over for dinner and stuff. My dad's fiance is actually a sweet woman and she always is so excited to see me. My dad always greets me and asks how things are doing, but it just doesn't seem like he cares as much as he's trying to make it look. Since then they've moved to a new location and I haven't gone to visit them yet. For father's day I went with my boyfriend to go see his father and hang out because I was invited as well. My dad's fiance waited until the day of to make plans with me and I just said I'd try for later in the day. They said that they had a wedding to go to later in the day so so much for that. They haven't tried to get in touch with me since then, but really I don't care anymore.

I do have a good relationship with my mom these days. Our relationship has always been decent at the very least, but also very dramatic due to poor communication. We've been seeking counseling which has helped greatly in building our relationship stronger.