My memories of being in a labor and delivery room are ones of pain - lots of pain - and joy.
(among others but those are the two that stand out the most of all of them, at the moment.)
I am such an emotional person, just naturally.
I imagine I'll be crying and laughing and crying again whenever I have a child.
Right now I'm choked up just imaging having a child...
I was an emotional sobbing mess - of happiness - when I got to hold both my girls for the first time. Watching Alex hold our girls for the first time. Seeing our girls for the first time. Everything... I was quite an emotional mess for quite awhile. So much just pure joy that my body didn't know quite how to handle it - and exhaustion. That's a big one too.
I shake my head at people who tell me "You know, parenthood is exhausting."
...Of course it is! But does that make me want to have a child less? Nope.
I want to feel that love... I know it from the perspective of being someone else's child. I want to know it from the perspective of a parent. I want to see my own child... I crave it, even though I know I'm not ready for it yet. I think my biological clock is freaking out right now.
It is exhausting - but OMG so worth it. Watching my two little ladies grow up is amazing! <3
There are days that I want to tell Alex "OMG! I WANT BABY #3" even though I know I need to give my body a break and I want to wait awhile longer... We'll see. haha!
Haha, I know I really want to wait. I just think it's my biology that's wanting the baby. Does that make sense?
I have always thought I would be an older mum, and that's just my personal thing. But I am also at that age when my body is like "GET ME PREGNANT RIGHT NOW!" I don't know if I make any sense...
I can totally understand that!! And it's always at the most inopportune times like when you know it's not the right time but no matter what that part you goes "NOOOOOOOW!!! RIGHT NOW!!" XD
I tease my hubby with him wanting me barefoot and pregnant if he had his way, with a whole team of kiddos. LOL. I'm putting my foot down, not saying no... but the body needs a break! LOL!
They say it can take up to two years for your body to heal completely from a pregnancy! :O
I know I will cry seeing my baby (funny, I nearly just wrote 'son'- weird) for the first time. And that will only get worse (crying harder) when my mum comes in and cries... She and I are a lot alike emotionally, and so she'll cry and then I'll cry harder cause she's crying, which will make her cry. People will get so annoyed.
Three babies back to back - basically... (Soph wasn't planned. lol) We're waiting until she's like 5... xDD
Who cares what everyone else thinks - you're allowed to be as emotional as you want! Your body will be overrun with hormones, you just gave birth to a baby for goodness sakes. You can react however you want to react! So be it! I was a sobbing mess! I admit it! (It wasn't just when I had the girls, or Benji - but the majority of all three pregnancies - Soph seemed the worst in terms of random emotional mood swings, but I was moody with all three of them.
I really like family names. I want to use the names Norma (or Norman) and Odessia (or Odysseus). Norma is my mum's name, and I like how unusual it is nowadays... I've only ever known my mum as someone called Norma. And Odessia was her mum's name. And also I love the name Charles Glennwood, which was mum's dad's name (and her elder brother's name).
Becca's middle name is Carlina - after my twin brother's middle name Carlisle.
And Benji - my godson and the boy I was the surrogate for - his middle name is Oliver in honor of my twin.
Both of those - well all of those are beautiful names!
My older brother's name is Seamus - and most people misprounce it, and it throws people off when I call him Sea (Shay), but it's all fun! :D Seamus, Olivia, Oliver, and Christina. :)
I’m following you as you play. You’re dressed in swimming shorts, and you’re wet from playing in the pool. Cool, refreshing droplets stream down your perfect honey-tanned sculpted young body. You have dirty blond hair, just like your aunts, but it’s as curly and unruly as mine. You have my mother’s beautiful green eyes. Your have our ears- deformed around the edges. You’re tall, and lanky, like all of us, too. I’m most shocked, though, to see your smile- it is mine.
I see one ear, your eyes and my smile on your lips as you turn just for a moment to look back at me as you run. You’re laughing at me because you’re faster than me now; you’ve reached the age where you’re becoming stronger than the woman who brought you into this world. One day, you will be taller than me, too. One day, you will come home from college and I will open my arms to you, only to find that my head rests against your chest. I will be surprised by how much you’ve grown, even though you stopped growing taller several years before. This will make your handsome, young face light up and you will rest your chin on top of my head just to make fun of your mother. You and I will both find this funny.
But for now, I’m still taller, and my legs still longer. And though I’m growing a bit too old to keep up with you, I keep running after you. I’m dressed in a flowing red sun dress, that’s light and airy. It flutters out, and lifts up as my legs kick against the ground as I chase you. My own skin is smooth and tanned the same honey shade as you; we both tan so well in the sun. My hair has grown longer, but is still wild, curly and dark.
My arms reach out to you, trying to catch you but you’re still too far out of reach; there is no real way that I will hold you. Then you surprise me, and you turn towards me. Rather than running away, you run back towards me. Your face is growing up, forming more defined features, but it is still the face of a little boy who needs his mother. My legs pick up in strength, and I bound forward faster. Our arms meet and you jump. You’re too big for me to hold and have been for a while now; I can no longer carry you. Neither of us cares, or maybe it is that we’ve forgotten. You’re up in my arms, now, and your legs are wrapped around my waist. Our noses meet and we’re both laughing and spinning. You kiss your mommy’s cheek and rest your head against my shoulder. I continue to spin, but begin to slow down. My arms are straining to hold you up now.
Your legs realease, and I set you down. I take your hand, and you smile up at me as we walk away. For now, you're still a little boy who needs his mother. And I will forever need you in my life. I love you, Morgan.
I wrote that piece after having a dream. I really love the name, Morgan, for a boy. I wouldn't mind using that name.
There are so many names I love, it's so hard. Seeley, Morgan, James... UGH! How do you choose!?
It really is a challenge, to pick the perfect name!
The one name for a boy I know I couldn't mentally handle is Oliver.
The name Oliver still makes me want to cry. Which is why we went with Carlina - so he could be a part of his first niece, but in a subtle way.
Thank you. I wrote it for a college class and had to read the piece aloud.
The teacher was very surprised and said "I didn't know you were a mother" and I said "Oh, I'm not." And she was absolutely BAFFLED!
Mine are, now that I think of it. :D
I SO wish that he could have gotten the chance to meet his nieces! <3