The other day in class, a guy was calling a girl some name she didn't like. It went to the point she hit him, and he threatened to hit her [with my book >.>] if she ever hit him again. She said: "You're going to hit a GIRL?!" and he replied: "I don't see why you can hit me but I shouldn't hit you just because you're of the opposite gender".
So, my question is:
Hitting the women - Uber Wrong or Sexist Excuse?
Is it "acceptable" to let a man hit a man, a woman slap a woman, a woman slap a man, but a man shouldn't hit a woman? Is this because woman are "biologically weaker" than men, or is it just a Double Standard?
Me? I think saying a man can't hit a woman just because is kind of an insult to females, as if being a girl means you have a discapacity. Hell, hitting is wrong in the first place anyways! xP

PS: They stopped arguing after that. The guy decided it would be better to hit me with my book instead, and then he hit himself to prove it didn't hurt anyway. Happy Ending x_x

Men are expected to be nice to women. It's been like that for awhile. Women are allowed off of burning planes first, and to take the only life boats.

I think that it is the appropriate thing, because men are generally stronger than women. It's part of our genes.

I don't know...as a woman, I really have no idea. I'd like to think that I'm strong enough to stand up for myself and protect myself, but the fact remains that men are bigger and stronger than women, and in all actuality can hit harder and overpower a woman far easier.

If it's in play and you pull that, it's not fair and a sexist excuse. If it's a real fight- no. Just don't.

Theres a couple of situation myself or my friends have been involved in which at least to me are interesting.

The first is a friend of mine who ex-girlfriend (mother of his child) ended up seeing at a club. She turned up specifically to spite him and he knew it. Rather than leave he decided the best way to deal with the situation was to drop a pill and chill out. The problem was that his ex found out his plan and literally went ape on him. She started pushing him and hitting him and screaming at him. My friend took the abuse for roughly twenty minutes while the bouncer just stood there and laughed. After a while he had simply had enough, and in his drunken state told her very clearly that if she touches him again he would punch her. Before this point he had never hit a woman, but he has a reputation to follow up with what he says, so she should have known he was serious. Long behold she kicked him in the nuts and he retaliated, knocking her down flat with a single punch. Unsurprisingly she left the club shortly after. As a surprise to myself, he actually filed a police report and got a restraining order put on her as a result of that night. He even told the police officers that he hit her and they backed him up on the matter. The reactions from the people around were the most interesting bit to me. I honestly expected someone to jump to her defense, but no one did.

When I had my broken arm recently, this girl I'd been hanging out with decided to mess with me. Outside a bar, with my arm in a full cast and a hurt back. she for whatever reason to wrestle with me. No matter what she tried, and even with me only use one arm I managed to drop her to the ground and into a lock of one sort or another. Her friends stood around and laughed, and the bar staff came out to watch. It was completely in play, and I never hit her, but the reactions from others were rather surprising. It makes me wonder how people would have reacted if she was truly pissed at me and I was either considerably weaker or had no fighting experience and she was kicking my ass. Does anyone care if a girl beats up a guy even if he has am obviously broken arm (or any other disability)?

Back when I was heavily into Karate. Our club was pretty big into tournaments, and there were few adult females there which forced them to have to spar with us men. We would ALWAYS take it easy on the girls and intentionally throw short attacks, or do take downs so there was little to no contact that could leave bruising. So this one night there was only one adult girl called Fiona there, and there was going to be a tournament a week away. Sensei decided for whatever reason that I should spar with her under tournament conditions. This means we both had a mouth guard and wrist guards on, that was it. Now the concept of scoring was pretty simple, you had to make a single light contact strike that went unblocked to score. If a strike was not clear, appeared weak, or Sensei simply wanted us to try harder it wouldn't score. Fiona is a strong girl who can hold her own, but given I had two more years of experience than her she stood little chance of scoring against me. I made multiple valid strikes but for whatever reason Sensei didn't want to call them. After two minutes of bouncing around I was starting to get rather tired (fighting does that to you) so I was slowing making sure the contact was harder and cleaner to end the match. So finally I through this punch towards her ribs but she steps at least a full foot into it. Unsurprisingly she screams in pain and drops to the ground. I felt extremely bad about it and apologized profusely over the follow weeks but she had no interest in accepting my apology. I didn't hit her in anger, I didn't hit her in a drunken state, I hit her by accident in legitimate sporting environment, but I still felt remorse over the matter.

Generally speaking, I don't think it's ok for guys to hit girls or girls to hit guys. I think it's ok in self defense whether you're a guy or a girl and also for sporting events like Insomniac said, but hitting someone just because you're angry at them or because you're having a verbal argument is wrong and immature.

Well...In the case of your karate match, it depends on the woman. Fiona sounds like a bitch. She should realize that if she's going to be involved in that sort of thing, at one time or another, she's going to get hurt. Plain and simple. It's just hypocritical to be involved in that sort of a situation and then withhold an apology when it was clearly her fault. What a moron.

The same goes for the story of your friend and his ex. I wouldn't have stood up for her either! Sounds like a total moron. She should have left him alone, gone to another club or SOMETHING, but that was just childish of her.

With the story of you and your female friend and the broken arm...that was a horrible judgment call on her part. I don't care what biological gender you are, you do not go after someone who is injured or impaired in any way, shape, or form. That's just bad manners, and just overall BAD. And a hurt back on top of it? AWFUL! Good for you for being able to drop her anyway, but golllyyyy. That's just fucked up, pardon my language. Baddd call on her part, and you had full right to go after her in that situation.

I don't think it's okay for guys to hit girls due to girls being "biologically" but if a girl is attacking the guy and throwing punches. The guy should stop her, but not "bash" or "punch" more or less lightly push her away and walk off. Or, block the punches. Self defence is okay I suppose.

I think if a girl hits a guy, the guy should have every right to hit the girl back. If it's out of self defense, anyone should have the right to strike their attacker. Gender has nothing to do with it. I guess people just assume that girls can't fight back and that's why it's wrong to hit them.

I'm in a self defense class and our teacher commonly teaches the right places to kick and punch our attackers. Knees, stomach, neck, face, etc. And there's always someone new who goes, "Just kick him in the nuts and you can get away easily." And then I'll say, "But what if your attacker is a woman?" and they'll just look at me like I'm crazy. Why would a woman possibly attack them? Only men do that sort of stuff! Yeah...while all us girls are kicking each others ass in the class. Guys are terrified of joining the class because they're afraid of becoming the targets. I mean, have you ever seen 2 girls get in a real fight before? It's horrifying! I rather get in a fight with a guy than a girl any day. Guys don't t to rip out your hair >>

So, to recap, I think it's fine for a guy to hit a girl if it's out of self defense or even just rough housing. If it's rough housing though, guys should check if that's okay with the girl first since there's still a lot of girls who think guy's shouldn't hit girls. Though I think every girl has the capacity of fighting back.

Sexist excuse. The reason behind why men should never hit women is because some men have bad tempers. A women yells at them and they hit them. No. That isn't good. However, in my honest opinion. If some woman comes up and hits me after chewing my ass for something. I am going to hit the bitch back. One hit is all it will take to get my point across. Continuously hitting in order to 'beat the shit' out of the person, I disagree with. One hit for one hit is another matter.

This is just my opinion....

If a woman hits a man FIRST.... then he has every right to hit her back. By hitting him she's saying "I'm tougher than other women and I think I can take you. If I hit you I give you full rights to try to hit me back because an assult is just that... regardless of what gender it comes from." I honestly think it's an unfair standard for men to just be expected to take abuse from the opposite gender because we're "weaker". That all depends on who you are anyway. I know PLENTY of women who could beat up some of my male friends. *shruggs* Whoever hits first is inviting open war. I'm a pacifist so I tend to look down on people who throw the first punch anyway.... regardless of what sex they are.

First off, let me say that I generally disagree with violence in the first place.
I see it either as an absolute last resort or a method of self defense.

That being said, if a woman seriously swats/punches/slaps a man, he can either shrug it off and walk away or hit her back. I'd prefer that they'd walk away if they could, same thing if it was the other way around. However, if you're being attacked, like in the example that Insomniac gave, I feel as though you'd better start hitting back. Again, irregardless of the gender of the attacker and the victim.

Men should never just up and hit a woman for no reason, especially if they're arguing with no violence prior to that.
Same for women.

However, sometimes it happens and if you aren't able to walk away from it, then defend yourself. If you're hit, you have every right to hit back and defend yourself, I personally feel that it's a double standard that men can't hit women, but a woman can slap a man. It's a semi-insult to us women, while yes, the large majority of us are weaker than men, there are still plenty of women who could beat up a man or who can fend for themselves.

I suppose I could sum this whole post up with "Violence begets Violence."

@Innocence: Wouldn't you say though that violence is only human nature?

It makes sense to me that sometimes, unfortunately, violence is the only answer. I also personally believe that the world would be a lot better off if people stopped pussy-footing around issues; stopped babying their children all the time and teach them to have a stronger backbone (and that includes hitting your children every once in a while when they really deserve it ie. spanking), and just overall manned up and stopped being so stinking POLITE all the time. I see these shows like Supernanny and just ask myself why these parents aren't popping their kids every once in a while.

Sorry. Tangent.

Well I fully agree with the popping kids when they're bad. And if my school or anyone else ever tells me I can't hit my son then I'm going to pop them one. LOL. Children at a young age just don't understand everything you say. They get into dangerous things and even though you tell them not to... somtimes the only way you're going to be able to make them understand is by either LETTING them get hurt or punishing them for it. Generally I let them make the mistake the first time (as long as it's something small like burning your fingers on a stove... something that isn't going to get them hurt) and if they didn't learn the first time then I smack them. I ALWYAYS tell them first though...

@St_JimmyHavok:
Absolutely.
And as I stated previously, there are plenty of times where it can become absolutely necessary.
On the other hand, there are also plenty of circumstances where it is not necessary and could be avoided.

And I agree with what you said about children.
I used to work as a hostess at IHOP every weekend morning for two years, there were plenty of kids that were absolutely obnoxious to everyone and even hit their parents, while Mommy and Daddy just sat there, maybe saying "No, sweetheart, don't do that" on the rare occasion. Those are the children who need to be taken to the bathroom and given a good talking to and then probably a spanking, because chances are a good talking to won't actually do anything for them when they've been allowed to get away with whatever they want for the longest time.

I don't agree with hitting kids when they're bad, even if they're being terrible. On Supernanny, she gets the kids to calm down and behave without laying a finger on them even once. And if you notice, she mostly does it by changing the parents behaviors, not the kids (and not in a violent way).

And I also don't understand why some people think it's ok for girls to hit guys (in a non self defense way).

Originally Posted by juniper_silver

I don't agree with hitting kids when they're bad, even if they're being terrible. On Supernanny, she gets the kids to calm down and behave without laying a finger on them even once. And if you notice, she mostly does it by changing the parents behaviors, not the kids (and not in a violent way).

I bet you anything you've never had a child before. My child isn't so bad at misbehaving that I think he needs someone to come in and show me what he's doing wrong. Generally he behaves like an ANGEL. But here's the thing. Children do things out of ignorance. Parents are there to set the rules and let them know what's ok and what's not. The parents that you see on shows like the "super nanny" aren't spending enough time with or are taking care of their children the wrong way. Setting a bad example. Here's the thing... once they understand every word you say... if they respect you... then they'll do it. MOST of the time. Up until a certain age at least. But when they still don't understand enough words to even speak full sentances themselves... sometimes you HAVE to hit them in order to keep them from doing something bad. And by bad I don't mean throwing toys or something silly like that... I mean walking out into the middle of the road when there are cars coming. If they're not old enough to understand you through words... then you have to use something they'll understand. Everyone understands pain. And as long as you're there to hold them and tell them you still love them.... make sure you let them know that you don't like doing it.... once they understand enough to listen then they will. Raising children is hard and when I was younger I NEVER wanted to hit my child. I thought it was barbaric. But now that I actually have a child of my own I know that sometimes it HAS to be done...

My God Feyona, you are a godsend.

I've never had children (I'm only 18. O_O) but have taken care of them many times, once for a service project for my high school. And the kids who obviously had a disciplinarian in their lives were angels while the ones who were basically ignored, or had never been hit in their lives made me furiously frustrated. God, I wanted to hit them FOR the parents! ha! I didn't though, as tempting as it was, but whenever a certain girl threw a tantrum, I would sit and hold her through her wiggling. The people in charge encouraged me to just let her flail around, but to me, that was giving her what she wanted. So I REALLY gave her what she wanted: ATTENTION. It was obvious she threw the tantrums for the attention, so I would sit and hold her very tightly, suffering the many times she hit me and punched me in the mouth. And more often than not, it calmed her down more quickly. Sure, she hated me for it, but at least it got her to shut up and go color.

Ok, I'm gonna put this up as another debate topic as this is veering WAY off the original debate topic.

Well, as bad as it sounds, if a woman is going to step up and hit a man she is asking to be hit. I don't agree with a man abusing a woman but, if you don't want to be hit then, you need to not hit anyone.

I really think it's unfair for guys not to ba able to hit girls. I mean, it's not like we can't take a hit anymore. Actually, if a girl can't fend herself from a single hit, she deserves to be hit. :O

*claps* I agree 100%.

@Jenn: You do realize that men are usually always physically stronger than women, right? So a guy could easily kill a women if there was no rule against hitting women...

I don't think it's okay for guys to hit girls due to girls being "biologically" but if a girl is attacking the guy and throwing punches. The guy should stop her, but not "bash" or "punch" more or less lightly push her away and walk off. Or, block the punches. Self defence is okay I suppose.

So, imagine if you are a guy. A random women (Maybe an ex, or one of your ex's friends,) comes up to you and starts punching you and scratching you. Do you seriously think that a slight shove is going to save you from bleeding out of your eye sockets?

Originally Posted by Thoth Star

*claps* I agree 100%.

@Jenn: You do realize that men are usually always physically stronger than women, right? So a guy could easily kill a women if there was no rule against hitting women...

unless the guy is extremely buff, I don't think he could kill a woman just by hitting her.

Originally Posted by Thoth Star

You do realize that men are usually always physically stronger than women, right? So a guy could easily kill a women if there was no rule against hitting women...

That's a bit of an extreme case scenerio. Plus, even if there's no rule against hitting a woman, there is a law against hitting anyone. I don't think that a guy who would hit a woman hard enough to kill her would be stopped by an etiquette rule if he isn't stopped by a law.

I suppose there might technically be a guy out there who's strong enough to accidently kill a woman because he doesn't realize his strength, but lets face it, that's not the average joe. And women who have that kind of strength exist too, but there isn't a huge social rule to protect men from those women.

Personally, I think it seems like one of those things that force guys to act tougher than they should have to. No one should just have to sit there while someone is beating them up rather than defending themselves.

Originally Posted by Thoth Star

*claps* I agree 100%.

@Jenn: You do realize that men are usually always physically stronger than women, right? So a guy could easily kill a women if there was no rule against hitting women...

A woman could easily kill a man by kicking him in the nuts then stabbing or pulling a trigger on a gun to the his head. Knives and guns are easier to get then a guy going to the gym to get this 'murderous' physique.

Also, a direct hit to the temple, if hard enough, can kill a person or in the very worst scenario, leave them with severe brain damage.