Speaking of Helen Keller...

How did Helen Keller burn her fingers?
By reading the waffle iron.

Q: whats the difference between bananas and babies

A: bananas don't scream when you peel its skin off

:shock:...

I want to say I haven't heard any but sadly I have. My 7th period teacher always make jokes and they are so lame it is funny. I just laugh so bad. xD

Originally Posted by Dainty Cut Throat

I got one~

I lol'd at this. I'm so lame.

That almost brought me to tears cause i'm dyslexic XD or lysdexic as we like to call ourselves :P lol

Originally Posted by ~~LOOOOOOONGCAT~~

There's just something about really bad jokes that I love.

and a dead baby joke or two

dead baby jokes are terrible... but awesome... i work in child care and i probably shouldn't find them as funny as I do.. XD

Originally Posted by II Bubbles II

Some of his music i like but lol w/e
heres another
xD So funny but so bad xD

ROFL that, that was the best MJ joke i've ever heard XD

Originally Posted by Couzaca

:shock:...

see i found tat funny T_T" but it's so... gross lol

I dont know what happened but the quotes didn't come up here for some reason T_T

Originally Posted by Kyatto.chan

That almost brought me to tears cause i'm dyslexic XD or lysdexic as we like to call ourselves :P lol

It must be a sympathetic dyslexic thing. Since I also have dyslexia. Well, a hearing dyslexia anyway. xD

And, oh my. I found the irony in your job and the jokes quite humorous. As long as you don't tell them outloud at your workplace, it's all good. ;D

I've got another one, I guess.

Did you hear about the dyslexic couple who couldn't have sex?
They kept trying to do 96.

Originally Posted by Dainty Cut Throat

It must be a sympathetic dyslexic thing. Since I also have dyslexia. Well, a hearing dyslexia anyway. xD

And, oh my. I found the irony in your job and the jokes quite humorous. As long as you don't tell them outloud at your workplace, it's all good. ;D

I've got another one, I guess.

that's fuking hilarious! I'm loving these jokes XD

Only bad jokes that are so bad that I laugh come from shows like Everybody Loves Raymond, Friends, Family Guy, The Simpsons, Futurama, George Lopez and The Muppet Show.

A priest and his friend are playing golf. The friend misses a 2ft put. he says "Dammit! Missed the bugger!" The priest says "You shouldn't curse; God will part the heavens and smite you." Well, this time the friend misses a 3ft put. And again he says "Dammit! Missed the bugger!" Sure enough the Heavens part, a lightning bolt comes down, and hits the priest! And God says "Dammit! Missed the bugger!"

Why did the lobster blush?
Because the Sea weed!

(the sea took a leak:roll:)

Three nuns were at the Pearly Gates and Saint Peter said "You each have to answer a question to get in." So the first nun steps up and Saint Peter asks "Who was the first woman?" The nun says "Eve." And she's allowed in. The second nun is asked "Where did Eve live?" to which she replies "The Garden of Eden." and enters Heaven. Now it's the Mother Superior's turn. And Saint Peter asks her "What did Eve say when she met Adam?" The Mother Superior replies "Ooh...That's a hard one." And Saint Peter says "Correct! you're in!"

:shock::sweat:

Originally Posted by Joey Kitsune

Only bad jokes that are so bad that I laugh come from shows like Everybody Loves Raymond, Friends, Family Guy, The Simpsons, Futurama, George Lopez and The Muppet Show.

MUPPETS! I'm sorry but i believe henson is a genious! have you seen any of his shows for adults? lol

"the internet is for porn"

XD i really wanted to see that too T_T; The best show for bad jokes for me though is show like spicks and specks and good news week XD

This one is perverted. D: I can't say it.

this thread made me giggle

The only halfway decent chicken joke I think I've ever found is...

Quote:
Why did the chicken cross the rode?
To prove it could never reach the other side.

Pshhh.. you know as well as I do that they wouldn't make it. xD

Okay, firstly >_> Where I live, all the chickens make it across the road because one, the roads are so small and narrow and two, if you hit one, you could get fined some ridiculous amount of money.
And we've got chickens all over the place. Cats, too.

But yeah, I'm always the one to get really witty jokes but the lame and stupid ones I can never grasp. ><;

N/A

How do crazy people get through the forest?
THEY TAKE THE PSYCHOPATH!

xD

Lol hope no one said these (And i hope someone will get these lol)

Why do blond girls have bruises on their stomachs..... Guess Blond guys aren't that smart either.

A blond, brunet, and red head are kidnapped and taken to the top of a sky scraper. There are two shooters who are demanding money.

The three girls look at each other and become silent. The kidnappers warn them to give up all they own. The red head gets a scared look on her face, points and screams "TORNADO!!!" the shooters look behind them and she runs away. They get angry and raise the guns to the brunet and blond. The brunet points and screams "POLICE!!" the shooters look and she runs away. The blond being the only one left starts to panic. The shooters demand all she owns. The Blond points and screams "FIRE!!!" and the Shooters pull the trigger.

Even if you state that you are not prejudiced yourself, please refrain from posting jokes that can be considered racially derogatory. Thank you.

Anyways to avoid confrontation

How do you know what it's time to wash your cat

When she smells purrrrrable

(like horrible)

What's red and smells like blue paint? red paint. xD
What do you call a fish with no eyes? A Fsh. xD

Bad, I know.

Why do they put fences around cemetaries?

Because people are just DYING to get in!

A white man, Chinese man, and a mexican man are all on a boat. The boat is sinking, so they all decide to throw something out of the boat so it'll stay afloat. The Mexican throws out burritos, and says, ''we have too much of those'', the Chinese man throws out rice and says, ''we have too much of this,'' and the white man throws out the mexican and says, ''we have too much of them''.

How do you make a dead baby float?
Root beer and two scoops of dead baby.

How does a dinosaur get out of a pool?
Wet!

What do you call four Latinos in quicksand?
Quatro sink-o!

...the last two actually DID come from Laffy Taffy.

I don't have a specific joke to post, but when I thought of jokes that are just so ridiculous you have to laugh, I thought of Andy Milonakis. All of his work (his show, his music, everything) was all just so stupid that it was funny. (8

Originally Posted by Oirish

Aww, the cream of the crop... Necrophilia jokes. xD



I think this one's worse... :rofl:



Oh this is awful. xD

*Looks at the necrophilia icon in your signature*
*Reads your post again*

...Something you want to tell us?

Why does a chicken coop only have two doors? If it had more it'd be a sedan!

You're momma's so poor, somebody stepped on her cigarette and she said, "hey! who put out the heat?!?"

hehe

A guy walks into a sperm donor bank wearing a ski mask and holding a gun. He goes up to the nurse and demands her to open the sperm bank vault. She says "But sir, its just a sperm bank!", "I don't care, open it now!!!" he replies. So she opens the door to the vault and inside are all the sperm samples. The guy says "Take one of those sperm samples and drink it!", she looks at him "BUT, they are sperm samples???" , "DO IT!". So the nurse sucks it back. "That one there, drink that one as well.", so the nurse drinks that one as well. Finally after 4 samples the man takes off his ski mask and says, "See honey - its not that hard."

i have tried to find the cleanest bad jokes possible, this one made me laugh when i read it ^^;

Three sisters wanted to get married, but their parents couldn't afford it so they had all of them on the same day. They also couldn't afford to go on a honeymoon so they all stayed home with their new hubbies. That night the mother got up because she couldn't sleep.

When she went past her oldest daughter's room she heard screaming. Then she went to her second daughters room and she heard laughing. Then she went to her youngest daughter's room and she couldn't hear anything.

The next morning when the men left the mother asked her oldest daughter, "Why were you screaming last night?" The daughter replied "Mom you always told me if something hurt I should scream."

"That's true." She looked at her second daughter. "Why were you laughing so much last night?"

The daughter replied "Mom you always said that if something tickled you should laugh."

"That's also true." Then the mother looked at her youngest daughter. "Why was it so quiet in your room last night?"

The youngest daughter replied "Mom you always told me I should never talk with my mouth full."

Let's see...my dad tells this one all the time?

Do you know which one the worst joke is?
The one who picks on all the little jokes...

lolz. I translated this from spansih, so maybe it sounds a little weird in english...