
02-08-2010, 05:53 AM
Actually, if you went to a publisher, they'd laugh at you.
Not to be rude, but it's true. You have good starts, but it's old hat. All of it's been said, done, and cried over before. You poetry uses little, if any, poetic devices and is dire need of them. This is an art form so make it into that! Make it worth reading and enjoying. This is you! You're life. You're experiences; not the reader's. Keep that in mind when you're writing, becasue we have NO clue how this same, boring thing that we all go through inpacted you as it does everyone differently. And that's the beauty of poetry; taking a cliche and making something amazing. You have to SHOW your reader what's happening by using imagery and metaphors and words invloving all of the senses to really give it that UMPH!
I'm not saying this either to make you stop, just to improve, so:: you're work sucks. Everyone's does when they first start. And like with drawing, you get critiqued and get better as you go on. I suggest reading more poetry than just Poe and Dickenson. Try new age poets to spice things up. Pay attention how they use diction and explain what's happening to them and around them. Look up poetic device websites (( I can give you some links)). Learn, Edit, Improve.
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