{ that was awesome!i probably wont be able to beat that XD but i will try to give u a lot of details and a huge and long paragraphs.}

With the feeling of butterflies in her stomache as Dusk looked at her Shinku's cheeks turned a bright red rose color.She was blushing.Shinku was very self concious about how she looked.She knew she was pretty but she never flaunt it.People assumed she would flaunt her looks which was one reason she didn't go out much.She was too self concious to what people would think of her.But When Dusk looked at her with those seductive eyes of his,Shinku felt like she could do anything she felt like doing that she never had the guts to do.

When he went into another room Shinku slightly frowned and placed her right hand onto her left arm clentching it a bit.Maybe...this was a bad idea.Shinku told herself as she looked at her feet.Shinku sat on the edge of the bed looking at the ground.Maybe i overdid it?maybe i just came on too strongly. She told herself over and over trying not to let the tears in her eyes that were forming fall from her eyes.

Shinku was frightened if Dusk was leaving her.After all he had done to help her.And after everyone that was taken away from her.Dusk.He was the one person she believed in and trusted after everything had happened to her.Some of Shinku's hair that was loose covered the side of her face where Dusk was able to see her.
When Dusk walked back into the room and kissed her,Shinku felt more butterflies in her stomache.But this time it felt more of happiness and relief.He wasn't leaving after all which made her happy.

She pressed her lips to his and gently wrapped her arms around his back not seperating the kiss.She leaned back and onto the bed pulling him down with her having him ontop of her completely.

The kiss was great, and as much as he loved it, Dusk was already regretting it. No matter how much Dawn tried to push them together, Dusk couldn't stop grieving over her. A tear slipped from his eye and created a little weaving trail down her face. It was breaking his heart to lay atop her with his lips pressed so passionately against hers.

"God, I love you, but... it... it feels so wrong. I feel like I'm betraying her." Pushing himself up, he sat lightly on her hips. "God what I would give to be with you, but... but this feeling here, here in my heart, it's tearing at me. I... I can't. Not yet. Not right now. I need... I need more time. She only died not too long ago. I... if... if I... we... it'll... it'll make it look like I never cared and I loved her more than anything. She saved me so many times. She was might light in the dark, my angel, my everything. I love you, I truly do. I... I want to be with you. Trust me, I do. But... n-not yet."

Rising to his feet, he staggered over to the doorway. "I... I don't know what to do. How to feel. Where to go. I... you... we..." dropping to his knees, the dark-haired male's golden eyes overflowed with tears. "I hate it. I just hate it." Dropping his head onto the floor, his fit of tears and sobs continued on. Right then and there, he looked like a broken man who had suffered a terrible loss. Fact was, he was and he did. He was heartbroken as the loss of his lover. "I'm sorry," he whined. "I'm really sorry."

When Shinku saw how torn up and how hurt Dusk looked,Shinku felt like this was all her fault.Moving in with him..everything.Shinku now thought she was burdening him.She kneeled down on the ground sitting next to him and lookinh at him and wipping his tears as they fell."its alright don't worry.I know what your feeling don't worry.A couple years ago i was where you were out.Hurt.I wanted to move on.But when i forced myself to move on i ended up with a phyco."she said with a chuckle.

"Don't force yourself to move on.If your not ready,then your not ready."Shinku said keeping a smile on her face trying to resist those tears from falling.She wrapped her arms around Dusk trying to comfort him as best as she could.
"The guy i was madly in love with a couple years ago..was killed by the guy i was trying to move on with which made me to be in more pain that i tried commiting suicide over and over."Shinku said as she rocked Dusk gently in her arms.

Shinku thought this pain in her heart,this feeling she was feeling was making those suicidal thoughts come back.Maybe this feeling is guilt?Shinku asked herself.."Don't apoligise alright.Its not your fault."She said.After a couple of minutes Shinku stood up and patted his head."im going to go for a little walk so i can at least get some fresh air okay.When i come back you better be happy."I said right before i walked outside and toward the park.When Shinku got to the park she began to cry thinking that this date was never going to come true and she was never going to be happy again.

His heart was heavy as he sat there looking at his knees. With each blink, he felt his heart harden and knew that the love he had before, would forever be a thing of the past. Love. It was something he craved, but it was also something he hated. Each passing moment proved this.

A long exhale came and his now sour eyes were full of hatred and insanity. If this was going to be the start of his new life, Dusk was fully aware of what he would be like. Reverting back to his original programming, the dark male rose and left his house without even locking it up.

Tearing at his clothes to give him a more rugged look, he hacked away at his once neatly trimmed and combed hair. No longer looking like a handsome butler, Dusk's old appearance of a bastard thug surfaced. Torn jeans with a chain belt and safety pin accessories complimented his sleeveless skin-tight black shirt. Showing off his muscular arms that were adorned with tattoos, Dusk pushed past people on the sidewalk. His taunting yellow eyes looked darker and brighter than ever with that thick rim of eyeliner engulfing them. Black powder eyeshadow enhanced the demonic look and his eyebrow piercings were back in place. The lip ring that he'd recently removed was back in its rightful spot now, too.

Bending down, he placed his arms around Shinku's torso. "Don't cry, my angel. I'm here." Black fringe divided his eyes and the messy hairdo moved lightly in the cool breeze that swept across the park. Not speaking another word, Dusk looked over her head at the horizon. Things were going to change. He knew that much to be true. He would have to give up his job as there was no way anyone would go to his funeral home if it was a Gothic male running it. Perhaps, he would pick up his guitar again. There was always that, or going back to the forensic lab. Either way, Dusk was ready to embrace this change. Starting over, it was a good thing for him. With her forever removed from his mind, a gentle squeeze came and he planted a soft kiss on her brow.

"Please do not call me an angel."Shinku said."i am nowhere near being anyone's angel.Im more like a demon."she said chuckling pretending to be not angry even though she was angry and depressed.She stood up seperating her body from his.She hated when he kissed her.It made her feel more pain in her heart.Shinku turned around with a smile spreading across her face."no more kissing me.You need to find someone else to date if your ready.And i know your grieving so i know your not ready to date i girl like me who only keeps secrets and gets into trouble."she saidd laughing.

Shinku was acting brave.She has bottled up her emotions.She stepped back a bit."i wont be staying at your house after all.I will move my stuff out tonight.Having a girl in your apartment while your grieving is too awkward and heartbreaking so i will live elsewhere.You know where to find me.In that bar since i work there."shinku said and began walking away.This is for the best.Shinku thought in her head.If he isn't ready then he isn't.I will just live in a hotel in the meantime.I don' care if my damn abusive ex finds me or not.If he does then he does.Im not hiding anymore.Shinku thought in her head.

A brow cocked and then a hateful look came over his slender face. "Fine. Do whatever makes you happy." Tossing his keys at her, he took several long strides before he stopped to speak. "You can keep my house. After tonight, I will be nothing more than a memory."

His hand slid down to his pants to an odd bulge that seemed to elongate his hip. When his shirt was pushed aside, the butt of a gun became visible. If she was really leaving him, Dusk saw no point in sticking around any longer. Yes, his family would grieve over his loss, but he was always the suicidal one that sought out death.

To Dusk, death was a new life. A life without restrains and rules. A place were he could truly be happy. With no one to tell him right from wrong, the black-haired male began his last walk down the sidewalk. In his head, he was plotting just were he would pull the trigger. When the thought appeared in his mind, a wicked grin emerged upon his face. He wasn't just going to kill himself. No, Dusk was going to bring down another man. A man that constantly struck up fear in a woman he loved. By killing both the ex and himself, Dusk knew Shinku's life would finally be at ease. She would no longer have to look over her shoulder and she would no longer have to live with the broken remains of what used to be a very fine man.

Rounding the corner, Dusk's pale yellow eyes took in his final glance of the people of the town. This would be the end of life as he knew it. Goodbye today. Hello tomorrow.

When Shinku turned around and caught the keys she thought something must be up.i thought he woul stop me or somethingShinku thought in her head.Shinku watched him walk away,but when she saw the gun her eyes widened with fear.no...do not tell me he is going to commit suicide...and kill my ex

Shinku then followed him and grabbed his wrist gently.Ïf you think commiting suicide or killing my ex will solve everything it wont."She said looking at him worried."Don't do this."Shinku pleaded.Her eyes looked as if they were saving don't leave me.Can't you see i love you?

Shinku felt more tears form.She couldn't take it and she let them fall."I don't want to loose you.And you doing this....i don't even know what chaos i will do if you die.When Darius died i basically became emotionless.I was basically unhuman.I was hunted down because my ex is a bounty hunter.And when i knew Darius was dead i constanty felt like i was going insane and i kept hearing his voice telling me it was my fault he died.I even ended up and a mental institute for a few months."Shinku admitted.

"Please don't do this!Don't leave me!"She begged not carring if he saw her cry or if he thought she was a crybaby."I don't care if you think im crazy or if you hate me.As long as your alive i will be fine."

Looking away, he wanted to get down on one knee and ask for her hand, but he knew fairytale endings didn't exist. "Listen, I can't take it anymore. One minute you hate me. The next, you're seducing me. Then you're leaving me. Make up your mind. Do you want me or not? If you do, prove it to me. Take the gun from me hand. Walk away, and I'll just shoot you in the back. Don't worry, I'll kill myself after that."

Snorting, he cast the gun aside. "You know what, forget it." Hands going into his pockets, Dusk just walked away. Pulling a black iPod from his pocket, he placed the buds in his ears. Drowning in the flood of music, he could feel a single tear roll down his face. "The worst part is, I fell for you. How could I be so stupid? You're just like all the rest. They say men are the pigs... Hell, we are. But at least we're not mindfucks."

His dark hair hung in his eyes and his hands balled into fists. "Give me one good reason to stay. One. Just one. And it had better be the best reason ever. I don't want to hear the typical, 'I need you' or 'You're my hero' bullshit. I want an original, honest answer. If you can just give me that pleasure, I might just stay. But I honestly don't see why I should. You're the one that's walking out on me...." Eyes bloodshot and face stained with trails from tears, he fought to keep his breath calm. If she heard his sobbing, he'd be mortified. Crying just wasn't his thing.

Shinku felt her stomach sink.Everything he said made her nervous.She felt hurt when he said he thought she would be different from everyone.She was different from everyone..but maybe not in a good way."I want you to stay because your not only someone i like but you are a friend.And not just a friend.Your a great friend.Yeah i know your going through a hard time.Maybe you shouldn't move on so fast since your fiancée died."She said.She did know his fiance did die.She didn't see the knews but the signs were clear.Plus she sometimes could read his mind."I know i can't bring her back or replace her.Im probably not even as good enough to be as close as her.Maybe you should find a hobby instead of forcing yourself to move on.Sometimes moving on isn't the best option.I know what your going through.I acted the same way when my boyfriend Darius died.And when i found out my brother was dead.Before i didn't believe everyone who said he was dead.But then i realized he was i tried to move on.I pretended being someone im not."She said crossing her arms and backing away from him since she felt to close to him.And he probably didn't like it.

"Most of my life i always saw my brother was beside me.I even had to be in a mental institute because everyone thought i was insane.Maybe i was insane back then.But he was a part of me.My brother and i both were twins but when he died i denied it.I denied being insane and i denied being a monster even though i know i am one.Everyone called me the Misfortune orphan.But i do not want you to make the same mistakes i did.I want you to have a good life.Sorry that i ruined it.Instead of killing yourself why don't you kill me?Im already bored with this world."She said as her voice turned darkened.She sounded like she had been in more than one world.Which was true.She wasn't nearly as old as most vampires but she had been in many worlds in a short time.

"I know i am going to die so why don't you save me from waiting on my death and kill me now?You should have a happy life."She said as she took the gun from him."You wont be needing this.Listen i know i wont be able to be your fiancée i get that.I don't want to replace her or try to be her.Your fiance was way different from me.We worked together and i know for a fact i was nothing like her.The day of the accident that killed my family...that was the day i changed.I matured after i realized my brother was dead.You have only two options.You can either accept me or leave and walk away.The choice is yours."She told him.