I have talked to a few people about it, and I feel mostly better. :)

I still feel weird about missing someone like crazy who I've never (probably) been in the same room with you know? But I do. I miss her insanely to the point where my skin hurts to think about it. It's like being hungry and thirsty and tired and too hot and too cold all at the same time. :/ ...And I sound crazy.

I have one friend (ex girlfriend) who has been in this situation and she talks to me about it a lot. :) It helps some. Only thing is she can't really give me advice because well... it didn't go so well for her. I just wish someone I knew who it had actually worked out for could talk to me. XD in person. lol. I've talked to a few on here and one other site, but... it's not the same. :/

I don't think you should expect your friends to have experienced the same thing as you. They may not 'understand', but if they are your friends, I am certain they empathize with you. If they are your friends, they care, even if they haven't been through the same thing. It is okay to be selfish (which is different from being self-centered), but don't focus this selfishness on your friends if they are just trying to listen and to help.

Maybe one day you will be the one asked to offer a shoulder when a friends simply needs to talk. Even if you haven't gone through the same thing, you can be the dependable shoulder and can empathize with them without truly 'understanding' the experience they are having. This is what makes a good friendship- being able to learn through others and being able to share experiences with each other.

Except that in this case most people say something along the lines of "I don't know what to tell you."

And I have always been the one a lot of my friends came to when they had problems. I've always empathized and they always go away feeling better. In this case Most of them can't do that for me.

Sometimes, the honest answer of "I don't know" is not a bad thing. They listened. They were there when you had the problem. Sometimes, it is not about trying to make someone feel better but just being there. Sometimes, you can't make someone feel better. Empathizing and saying "I don't know what to tell you" are not mutually exclusive. They are being honest. Sometimes, there isn't anything they can say to make you feel better and they know it, but they smile and say so. but they are there and you could talk to them. They were also honest with you. This goes a long way.

Would you have felt better if they said "I understand" when you know full well that they don't? Probably not. You would have felt patronized or pitied. How can anyone give advice about something they are not familiar with and not come off as a bit of a jerk or know it all or fake? They can't really.

Don't expect to go away feeling better- it is something you need to feel better about, not something they can make you feel better about. But they are there and they are listening. This is the important thing. Value their honesty with you.

I never said I didn't. Not one time did I say I was mad at them or insulted by what they said.

What I said was that I needed someone who understood. That's all.

As you already know, my friend, this is a hard situation. Most people do not come out the better for it on the other side, so it will be extremely difficult for you to find anyone who actually made it work.

In fact, no one will ever tell you this situation is easy, and no one will completely understand what you're going through.

Unfortunately, the only person who can tell you what is right and wrong in this situation is you. You and Miss Kita are the only ones who can make this work or fail.

I can, however, tell you that everything you're feeling right now (like skin that physically aches for their presence, missing them although you've never met them) are normal. I've been there. Done that. Don't feel like a freak, hon. There's no other way that you should be feeling in this situation. :hug:

Thank you Ely. :)

Any time, friend. :)

I'm in a long distance relationship right now and i feel the same way about my boyfriend. i understand how you feel. i miss him so much and i want to be with so badly and hurts to know i can't be with him. it helps alittle wen he fbs me at night and tell me how much he misses me. we always exchange how our days went so we don't miss a detail. wat helps me sleep good at night is that he sent me a blue teddy bear and sprayed it with his cologne so now i have a piece of him always with me when i sleep. i'm fooling myself so it doesn't hurt as much. its not at all selfish to want someone to understand but, your not alone with wanting people to understand there are days i feel like my friends have no idea what i'm going through when theyre all cuddled up with their bfs/gfs while i'm alone waiting to talk to mine online for about 2 hours. i hope it'll get better for you. ~hugs~ just remember yur not alone even if your friends don't understand.

Oh honey I know what you are going through. I have a boyfriend who lives 1 day and 10 hours away from me and I wish I could hold him close and cuddle him. I love him very much so and it's driving me nuts that I can't hold him but then again my best friend has a boyfriend on the other side of the planet! So I feel bad for her about that but at least she got to see him for a month then come back. It'll be worth the trip to go see them though. It's not like the distance will stay there forever if you plan on meeting.