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has something tickled your fancy? jiggled your funny bone? or just simply cracked you up? then post it here and share with one and all in the Menewsha community

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please refrain from all acts of plagiarism by ensuring that all content not of your own pen is placed firmly within the bounds of the [QUOTE][/QUOTE] square bars, as in the example below;

[QUOTE]A guy walks into a bar and orders a whiskey. Just before he takes a sip of his whiskey, a guy runs in and says, "Bill, your house burnt down!"
So he runs outside, but then he thinks, "I don't have a house," so he goes back into the bar and takes a sip of his whiskey.
Another guy runs in and says, "Bill! Your dad died!"
He runs out of the bar, gets on his horse and rides a little ways, but then thinks, "I don't have a dad," so he goes back into the bar and drinks almost all of his whiskey. Then another guy runs in and says, "Bill! You won the lottery!"
So he runs out, gets on his horse and rides all the way to the bank, but then he thinks, "My name's not Bill."[/QUOTE]

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all Menewsha Terms & Conditions apply

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A guy was driving in a car with a blonde. He told her to stick her head out the window and see if the blinker worked. She stuck her head out and said " yes, no, yes ,no yes"...

Lol, blonde jokes are always good for a laugh ��

A brunette goes into a doctor's office and says that her body hurts wherever she touches it. "Impossible," says the doctor. "Show me." She takes her finger, presses on her elbow, and screams in agony. She pushes her knee and screams, pushes her ankle and screams, and so it goes on; everywhere she touches makes her scream with pain. The doctor says, "You're not really a brunette are you?" She says, "No, I dyed my hair. I'm naturally blonde." "I thought so," he says. "Your finger is broken." ��

Hello guys. :D

This is a great idea for a hang out! I love seeing all these new faces getting used to mene. I just wanted to give a friendly reminder about Mene's Posting Rules.

Please make sure all your jokes are in the [QUOTE ] [/QUOTE ] square bars from now on. Like this:

Why does Snoop Dog carry an umbrella? FO DRIZZLE!!

If you have any questions feel free to ask. :)

I got a joke!!!

A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender says. "Oh hey. We have a drink named after you!" The grasshopper tilts his head confused before saying, "You have a drink named Bob?"

XD It's dumb but I heard it at my cousin's wedding.

Originally Posted by Nephila

Hello guys. :D

This is a great idea for a hang out! I love seeing all these new faces getting used to mene. I just wanted to give a friendly reminder about Mene's Posting Rules.

Please make sure all your jokes are in the [QUOTE ] [/QUOTE ] square bars from now on. Like this:



If you have any questions feel free to ask. :)

thankyou, I will keep that in mind (does this mean I need to re-edit my previous posts? and what if I post a totally original joke, do I quote myself? confuzzlement compounds me ��)
Lol, I love barroom jokes, they've always got a great twist.

A man is angry because he has it in his head that someone stole his wallet. He walks into a church to steal someone else's wallet, but he has a change of heart during the service. He confesses to the priest afterwards about what his intentions had initially been. The priest asks, "What made you change your mind?" The man says, "In your sermon on the Ten Commandments when you got to 'Thou shall not commit adultery,' I remembered where I left my wallet!" ��

Totally original jokes are great, and you wouldn't need to quote those.

XD Oh no! Here's another questionable joke for you.

Lol, short and sweet, unlike the tree "ouch!" ��

There was a papa mole, a momma mole, and a baby mole. They lived in a hole out in the country near a farmhouse. Papa mole poked his head out of the hole and said, "Mmmm, I smell sausage!" Momma mole poked her head outside the hole and said, "Mmmm, I smell pancakes!" Baby mole tried to stick his head outside but couldn't because of the two bigger moles. Baby mole said, "The only thing I smell is molasses ��

I'll try to remember to post my jokes in here tomorrow. I post one everyday on my blogs. This might be better. No one reads my blogs here as they use to on mobi. :(

---------- Post added 04-01-2015 at 04:10 AM ----------

[Happy with their two beautiful teenage daughters, but still wanting a son, a couple decided to try onezmore time. After months of effort, the wife finally became pregnant, and nine months later she delivered a baby boy.

The happy father rushed to the nursery to see his new son, butzwas horrified to discover the ugliest child he had ever seen. The man went back to his wife and saidz“There’s no way I could be the father of that baby! Look at the two beautiful daughters I’ve had!” He glared at his wife.

“Have you been fooling around on me?” The wife answered, ”Not this time.”] my joke of the day. I hope I did the [quote][quote] thing correctly

Lol "not this time." �� I remember your 'Daily Funnies' on Mobi. it would be a shame if they went without an audience. (oh, and I'll send you a pm on how the whole 'quote/unquote' thing works, its simpler than you would think ��)

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip. After a good meal and a bottle of wine, they laid down for the night, and went to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend. "Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see." Watson replied, "I see millions and millions of stars." "What does that tell you?" Watson pondered for a minute. "Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies, and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?" Holmes was silent for a minute, lit his pipe by the fire, then spoke. "It tells me, my dear Watson, that someone has stolen our tent.��

Originally Posted by Menelaus

Lol "not this time." �� I remember your 'Daily Funnies' on Mobi. it would be a shame if they went without an audience. (oh, and I'll send you a pm on how the whole 'quote/unquote' thing works, its simpler than you would think ��)

I'mggoing to try sticking it out here. Just got to find a way to make some gold. I want a pretty avi. With pretty backgrounds that I've seen on other avis. I just hate to have to buy to make gold. I did buy the hair an another item for my avi. But that was the only way to make her purty.
Didn'tno u read my blogs on mobi. Glad someone liked them :) makes me feelall warm an fuzzy Iinside. Got to be up In 4hrs so I can post funny here, busy day tomorrow. :)

Of course, Firefly: your 'Daily Funnies' were one of the main staples of Mobion. I'm sure they brightened up the days of many the Mobionite. ��

Josey wasn't the best pupil at Sunday school. She often fell asleep and one day while she was sleeping, the teacher asked her a question. "Who is the creator of the universe?" Joe was sitting next to Josey and decided to poke her with a pin to wake her up. Josey jumped and yelled, "God almighty!" The teacher congratulated her. A little later the teacher asked her another question, "Tell me who is our lord and savior?" Joe poked Josey again and she yelled out, "Jesus Christ!" The teacher congratulated her again. Later on the teacher asked, "What did Eve say to Adam after their 26th child?" Joe poked Josey again and she shouted, "If you stick that thing in me again, I'll snap it in half and stick it up your butt!"

While doing renovations to the basement of his house, a man discovers a bottle tucked underneath the staircase. Rubbing the sides of it to remove all the dust and dirt somehow activated it – and a Genie appears. “Oh thank you, I am so relieved to get out of that bottle, you have no idea.” Startled, the man takes a moment to take in what has happened and says “Is it true you grant me a wish for settingzyou free?” The Genie replies, “Absolutely correct… what did you want?”

The man stood there contemplating his wish. Looking around he found an old globe of the worldzand picked it up. “I want there to be world peace… no more fighting orzwar.” The Genie shakes his head, “Come on, that’s a real back breaker, I’m not even sure I have the power to do something that massive.” Being understanding the man thinks again. He walks over to a picture that was resting against a wall, picked it up, and showed it to the Genie. “I wish you could make my wife stunningly beautiful.” Looking at the picture the Genie replies, “Let me see that globe again.”

i think i finally got the quote thing right now. Yay me! Thanks to Xogizmoox:

Haha, that's a good one, made me actually laugh out loud ��

The Lone Ranger and Tonto walked into a bar one day and sat down to drink a beer.

After a few minutes, a big tall cowboy walked in and said,
"Who owns the big white horse outside?"
The Lone Ranger stood up, hitched his gunbelt, and said, "I do. Why?"

The cowboy looked at the Lone Ranger and said, "I just thought you would like to know that your horse is just about dead outside!"

The Lone Ranger and Tonto rushed outside and, sure enough, Silver was about dead from heat exhaustion. The Lone Ranger got him some water and soon Silver was starting to feel a little better.

The Lone Ranger turned to Tonto and said, "Tonto, I want you to run around Silver and see if you can create enough of a breeze to make him start to feel better."

Tonto said, "Sure Kemosabe", and took off running circles around Silver. Not able to do anything else but wait, the Lone Ranger returned to the bar to finish his drink.

A few minutes later, another cowboy struts into the bar and announces,
"Who owns that big white horse outside?"

The Lone Ranger stands again and claims, "I do. What is wrong with him this time?"

The cowboy says to him, "Nothing much, I just wanted you to know -
you left your Injun running" ��

Menelaus: a friend told me that if i do a memory jar that I could make gold for posting in it every day too. Thought I'd pass that along to u.

Originally Posted by firefly0

Menelaus: a friend told me that if i do a memory jar that I could make gold for posting in it every day too. Thought I'd pass that along to u.

tkanks firefly0: you know I actually saw the link for memory jars, but there's sooo much to do on this site I never got around to scoping it out yet. I'll have to give it a try ��

On reaching his plane seat a man is surprised to see a parrot strapped in next to him. He asks the stewardess for a coffee where upon the parrot squawks "And get me a whisky you cow!" The stewardess, flustered, brings back a whisky for the parrot and forgets the coffee.

When this omission is pointed out to her the parrot drains its glass and bawls "And get me another whisky you idiot". Quite upset, the girl comes back shaking with another whisky but still no coffee.

Unaccustomed to such slackness the man tries the parrot's approach "I've asked you twice for a coffee, go and get it now or I'll kick you".

The next moment, both he and the parrot have been wrenched up and thrown out of the emergency exit by two burly stewards. Plunging downwards the parrot turns to him and says "For someone who can't fly, you complain too much!"

I made a 100 gold for making an posting in my memory jar. I posted alot last night an didn't make that much gold. Well looks like i found my very own spot to chat about nothing or something everyday.

Originally Posted by firefly0

I'll try to remember to post my jokes in here tomorrow. I post one everyday on my blogs. This might be better. No one reads my blogs here as they use to on mobi. :(

---------- Post added 04-01-2015 at 04:10 AM ----------

[Happy with their two beautiful teenage daughters, but still wanting a son, a couple decided to try onezmore time. After months of effort, the wife finally became pregnant, and nine months later she delivered a baby boy.

The happy father rushed to the nursery to see his new son, butzwas horrified to discover the ugliest child he had ever seen. The man went back to his wife and saidz“There’s no way I could be the father of that baby! Look at the two beautiful daughters I’ve had!” He glared at his wife.

“Have you been fooling around on me?” The wife answered, ”Not this time.”] my joke of the day. I hope I did the [quote[quote thing correctly

The way you did it works too!! If it's easier for you to use the square brackets instead of the BBC code by all means you can use that too!!
And my sides are hurting from these jokes!!!

---------- Post added 04-03-2015 at 01:17 AM ----------

Originally Posted by Menelaus

Haha, that's a good one, made me actually laugh out loud ��

This is one of my grampa's favorite jokes!! :D I love it since it reminds me of him

psychiatrist is addressing a group of people who have all had experiences with the supernatural. He asks, “Who here has seen a ghost?” Everyone puts up their hands. He then asks, “Who here has spoken with a ghost?” Half the audience puts up their hands. “And who here has touched a ghost?” Ten percent of the crowd puts up their hands. He asks, “And who here has made love with a ghost?” One small man in the back row puts up his hand… The psychiatrist looks down from the podium at the man and says, “Do you mean to tell me that you have made love with a ghost?” The small man replies, “Oh No! I’m sorry. I couldn’t hear you back here. I thought you said ‘goat’.”

hahaha, double-takes are always fun ��
now, before I unleashed this next jovial masterpiece, please allow me to apologize to any and all blondianites for painting them all with the same steriotypical brush. enjoy ��

Two blonde carpenters were working on a house. The one who was nailing down siding would reach into his nail pouch, pull out a nail and either toss it over his shoulder or nail it in.

The other, figuring this was worth looking into, asked, "Why are you throwing those nails away?"

The first explained, "If I pull a nail out of my pouch and it's pointed toward me, I throw it away 'cause it's defective. If it's pointed toward the house, then I nail it in!"

The second blonde got completely upset and yelled, "You moron! The nails pointed toward you aren't defective! They're for the other side of the house! ��

The wife came home early and found her husband in their bedroom making love to a very attractive young woman. The wife was upset to say the least.

“You are a disrespectful pig!” she cried. “How dare you do this to me! A faithful wife, the mother of your children! I’m leaving you. I want a divorce!”

The husband replied, “Hang on just a minute love, so at least I can tell you what happened.” “Fine, go ahead,” she sobbed, “but they’ll be the last words you’ll say to me!”

The husband began “Well, I was getting into the car to drive home, and this young lady here asked me for a lift. She looked so down and out and defenseless that I took pity on her and let her into the car. I noticed that she was very thin, not well dressed and very dirty. She told me that she hadn’t eaten for three days. So, in my compassion, I brought her home and warmed up the enchiladas I made for you last night, the ones you wouldn’t eat because you werezafraid you’d put on weight. The poor thing devoured them in moments. Since she needed a good clean-up, I suggested a shower, and while she was doing that, I noticed her clothes were dirty and full of holes, so I threw them away. Then, as she needed clothes, I gave her the designer jeans that you have had for a few years, butznever wore because you say theyzwere too tight. I also gave her the underwear that was your anniversary present, which you didn’t wear because I don’t have good taste. I found the sexy blouse my sister gave you for Christmas that youzrefused tozwear just to annoy her, and I also donated those boots you bought at the expensive boutique andzwouldn’t wear because someone at work has a pair the same.”

The husband took a quick breath and continued “She was so grateful for my understanding and help that as I walked her to the door, she turned to me with tears in her eyes and said, “Please… do you have anything else that your wife doesn’t use?”

Okay, okay, I gotta pretty dumb one!

Two cannibals are eating a clown. One looks at the other and says, "Does this taste funny to you?"

I liked that one!

I've got plenty of dumb jokes haha
They're good for a good laugh when you're feeling sad

Yes they are!